Now - I haven't told my family yet. We both felt daughter needed to know first. It's her right. A couple of my friends know though, because they have been there for me when I had doubts or when I needed to vent, etc. So I kept them abreast of what was happening. Today on my way to get daughter at daycare, after i leave work, I will call my mom and tell her.
I am really dreading that more than when we told daughter last night.
Sending you strength for the conversation with your mom.
"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
Keep in mind, his doing favors for you like mowing your grass etc, keeps him pretty involved in what is going on in your life and may make you feel some obligation towards him or for him to assume some "rights" to know what is going on in your life. There may come a time when that is no longer appropriate/helpful/wanted by you. You have theright to change your mind at any time about this.
I agree with NIK that telling the children and dealing with their emotions is a very difficult part of divorce. It is hard to see their hearts affected by this! (((jk5366)))
You are doing so well and your DD is very, very lucky to have you thinking about her interests and carving out a new safe space with no eggshells. This is absolutely going to end up being healthier for her.
Be a little careful with this setup. I know it is easy to want to be friends with your DD's dad thinking things will be better for DD, but it will bring a lot of pain as well. The more contact you have with XWH the harder it will be to detach and move on.
I thought XWW and I could remain friends after D. Our kids are all adults so it certainly should have been easier than co-parenting. What I found is that as time went by I wanted less and less contact with XWW. It was just to painful to know anything about what was going on in her life. I told her it was too painful and cut all ties including social media. Now we only communicate regarding kids or the few remaining financial ties.
As better4me noted, you have the right to change your mind. If you feel that the contact with XWH is keeping you from healing effectively, then make the changes.
Peace to you and DD7!
4 kids all adults.
Married 22+ years.
I have moved on and life is good!