After weeks of struggling with the idea of letting go, with starts and stops along the way, I know I'm finally getting there.
I know that I've been lied to, cheated on, and played a fool. I know when she says "there's nothing going on, you're hallucinating" doesnt line up with the two day disappearing act and three weeks of lying about her whereabouts coupled with hundreds of ongoing text messages on the cell bill. She's cheated before. I may have been born at night, but there was a fucking night light.
The shitty attitude, with the back and forth "she loves me, she loves me not" correlate *coincidentally* with days that have texting or no texting. I'm not one for coincidences, either.
I'm not perfect. But I'm not the asshole she makes me out to be, either. I'm me. A little bumped and bruised, with some high mileage. But like anything built right, I've got another 100,000+ good miles ahead with five great kids and quality time to spend with them. At the end of the day, I'll be just fine.
Her? Unless she can address her broken ass issues, not so much. And I don't have to hold the bag on that shit anymore. Life's good.