My birthday is coming up in a month and I came to the realization that he was probably with her on my birthday last year. I think he was with her at lunch... I know he came back from my birthday dinner and got right on the computer with her. I know because I saw the email on DD. It's going to be very hard. I know everything and I had to ask myself..is that any worse than anything else he did. I have to assume that he may have been with her on valentines day, our anniversary, or any other day that was convenient to them both.
I'm having a problem with it, and he wants to do up my birthday this year. I just want to ignore it. I'm not even going to tell him why I'm disgusted by the thought... I made a promise to myself not to beat him over the head with every errant thought that passes through my head. I know we should have the right to express our sadness and talk about triggers... and we have. But, as long as he's doing the work I don't want to kick him in the butt. I mean, I'd like to , but how productive would it be. I talked with my IC about it and we came to decision to go ahead and make it MY day again. I'm taking back the places and days that he gave to her. I thinks that's what works for us anyway.