According to him, he has finished the Prozac for two weeks now but still feels the same about me. He is mostly indifferent to me. No words or tears can penetrate him.
Today his mother wanted to pick DD up and take her to her house until WH got out of work. They were going to have a sleepover. All of the sudden I go to strap her in the carseat and DD starts sobbing, grabbing onto me and telling me she doesn't want to leave me!
WH mother said to just strap her in and let her cry it out! Um, no you crazy failure of a mother!
I told her to go home and that I wasnt going to force DD to go, that she has gone through enough stress because of her son already!
So WH calls me asking if his mother picked up DD and I explained what happened.
I told him he was hurting DD by doing all this, and that she was suffering!!
He said "She's not suffering! I don't love you romantically and I'm not going to tie myself down to someone I don't want to be with!!" He was speaking very loudly and being aggressive.
He told me that my family and I are trash-talking him in front of DD and that's why she doesn't want to see him!! That isn't the case at all!
My family LOVED WH before, and only my mother knows about his indiscretion. We never speak about WH in front of DD!!!
I told him he was just bitter because things weren't turning out the way he wanted them to.
He said he wanted to take me to court!!
I'm so appalled. Then his sister has the nerve to text me saying that he has shown her the texts I send him and that I am "being disrespectful" by saying that he is selfish for leaving us, and that he has only left me, not DD.
WH and his sister went through a similar situation but worse with their father, who was a drug user, alcoholic, wife-beater and jailbird. He cheated on their mother and started a side-family, then left them later on. I thought WH family would sympathize but NOPE. I'm disrespectful.
I told her I will not respect him, because he doesnt deserve any respect from me after what he did to me. I told her a "good father" does not text his mistress while he's with his family, spend the weekend with her and come back and kiss his daughter goodnight, or get back into bed with his wife. THAT is DEPLORABLE and for her not to EVER think I should respect her brother.
I don't know where WH is getting this aggression towards me. He acts angrily when I would suggest reconciliation for our daughter's sake. The way he behaves, it's like I'm asking him to be in a relationship with the elephant man.
Even so, I know I'm not the source of his unhappiness. I've lost 20 pounds and still losing, I'm young, curvy, cute face, witty, intelligent, loyal and dedicated. I'm FAR from Quasimodo.
He has stated he is unhappy with his life right now and hates his job. He is not anxious anymore, just mean and hateful.
I wonder if counseling will even help at this point, or if I'll be trying to put a band-aid on a shotgun wound.
The reason I want counseling is to learn how to be amicable, DD is only 5 and we have many years of interacting ahead of us, I'd rather do it peacefully. I would give him my heart back, if his feelings did come back and he realized the pain he's inflicted on our lives, and genuinely 110% wanted to Reconcile.
I'm hoping counseling might let us communicate in a healthy, because niether of us knows what's going on in the other's head. I think he needs someone unbiased to tell him what he has done to us.
Hoping can only get me so far though, and because he's coming off of a mood and emotion-altering drug, I wonder when his true self will come back, or if it even will at all.
If you've done counseling, how has the therapist addressed WS and can it ever make them understand the pain BS is going through and motivate an R?
He is literally the worst person I've met in my life now, when he used to be the best.
I feel so hopeless and alone!