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Newest Member: SuddenShock (61120)

User Topic: do you ever feel you made a mistake?
♂ 44359
Member # 44359
Default  Posted: 1:23 AM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am still in limbo. But even having "new beginnings" on my mind is unsettling. Is there happiness without you SO?

Me:BH 24
Her:WW 26
2 DS's 4 & 6
DDay 1 July 21st OM1 (TT)
DDAY 2 July 24th OM2 (TT)
Final DDay August 7th (I hope..)
Status: In R
Love is not justification enough for your bullshit.

Posts: 253 | Registered: Aug 2014 | From: U.S.
♂ 36697
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 1:38 AM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is, and you really need to find it before you jump into a new relationship. New Beginnings isn't just about dating. It's also about finding your feet and building a new life after your divorce.

Posts: 2940 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
♀ 31421
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 1:44 AM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I Had made plans to leave while being cool and calculating like him. I wish I had been less emotional how I ended it and had taken care of my future, but I will never regret leaving the marriage that was over. The only mistake I made was not taking care of myself better after I found out the depth of his lying and deceptions. I would rather be by myself than with that awful person another day of my life.

Posts: 2327 | Registered: Mar 2011
♀ 31353
Member # 31353
Default  Posted: 5:09 AM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The mistake I made was staying in limbo and ignoring my own needs to somehow win him back for far too long. It was fear based., and of course I had stayed so long and become nothing more than a pathetic doormat. It took a long time to rebuild ( understatement, it's a work in progress)

I regret not being stronger and not putting my foot down.

I do not regret the ending of the marriage. It was dysfunctional and toxic for me, but I couldn't see that until I had distance.

Yes, there is happiness after divorce. I am happy.

Me: BS 49
Him: WH 54
OW - HS GF, reconnect on FB - They are now M
M- 23 years
DD Sept 2010 - he was lying about meeting and deleting all his texts
D-12/13/2010 - 60 days after i called uncle

Posts: 810 | Registered: Feb 2011
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 6:34 AM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happiness is NOT someone cheating on you, or doing surveillance to make sure that they aren't cheating on you.

I'm so happy now because nobody is cheating on me. Nobody has the potential to tear my world apart. That is very important to me.

BW - 40
DD - 7 years old
D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 5435 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
♀ 20334
Member # 20334
Default  Posted: 7:11 AM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My only regret is staying with him for so long.

There is not only happiness, but blissful peace of mind. I no longer spend hours wondering what he is doing. Instead, I spend hours doing things I want, even if it's sitting at home.

The beginning is daunting. Everything seems so hard and like a major mountain to climb. Then slowly, it becomes easier.

My Ex would not admit to anything. In fact, if I saw him today, I'm sure he would still deny anything was happening, even though he and the OW are married.

However, happiness without him - without a doubt.

[This message edited by travels at 7:12 AM, August 24th (Sunday)]

When one door closes, another door opens. It's the journey through the hallway that sucks.
"After a breakup, the loyal one stays single and deals with the damages until healed. The other one is already in another relationship."

Posts: 3983 | Registered: Jul 2008
♀ 36126
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My mistake was being so focused on the justice of it all when injustice happens each day and there are no guarentees.

It is more like understanding that a choice was made and you have the same choice to live a great life or let this event stop you. What other choice do we have?

Focus on new activities and getting to know people and your old friends - it takes time but it is possible. An SO is not in the equation and may never be. Stick with the knows and the unknowns might appear but you will have a full life and a NB.

Posts: 1563 | Registered: Jul 2012
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do I ever feel like I have made a mistake? Hell, I've made tons of them! A lot of them!

However, divorcing my exWH is not one of them. Any mistakes I made there was not doing it sooner.

DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid

Posts: 15606 | Registered: Jun 2006
♀ 10310
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is there happiness without your SO?

Yup! Once you learn to take good care of yourself daily, you'll be a step closer to it. It took me 2 years to be truly done with the XH but once I did; I was able to find myself and decide what I wanted to do next with my life

Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3666 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
Topic Posts: 9

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