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Newest Member: Schattenfell (61077)

User Topic: Healing Is a Long Process
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm over 3 1/2 years out from Dday, quick though quite painful D after that.

One thing I valued is that I've kept a close relationship with my XSIL and her family. Her kids still call me "Aunt persevere" and I watch them so XSIL and XBIL can have a night out every 3-4 months or so.

I've been invited to the kids' bday parties each year. At first they weren't inviting XWH but over the past few years they've been rebuilding their relationship bit by bit which I understand. She is still not fond of OW, but being civil. Last year they invited me to one, DS in August, and XWH/OW to the other, DD in October, as a compromise.

This year I hadn't heard about any celebration, but their DS turned 4 and I just saw on FB that they celebrated yesterday, and honestly, it hurt. First time I've had that feeling since probably last year. (I'm so glad I have XWH and OW blocked so I can't see if they were tagged).

I won't say anything. Just take the high road and ask when I can bring by his gift. Play with the kids.

I know this is a normal progression, but it's one area that's hard to let go. XSIL has been so amazing and supportive thru this whole process. I knew she would move forward with some level of normalcy with her brother at some point, as she should, but it still hurts. It feels like yet another loss from the infidelity monster.

Thanks for listening to me

Me: BW-46
Him: XWH-46

Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

Posts: 5285 | Registered: Mar 2011
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((persevere)))) I'm sorry, honey. Even when you understand it, it still hurts.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40223 | Registered: Aug 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, sweetie.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25300 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
♀ 29250
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1622 | Registered: Aug 2010
♀ 19946
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Ouch! Sorry for this new hurt, I miss one of my SILs, but I can't be in touch with her bec of the infidelity monster. It's a sad thing and it's worse when there are kids. I miss my little nieces and nephews.

BS, 56 years
D-day 6-2-08
D after 20 years
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

Posts: 6650 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((persevere)) You know it's not whining when you do it here...we get it, we understand.

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:54

Posts: 4121 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'm sorry. Of course that hurts. I guess it's another hurdle crossed even if one you wish didn't exist.

Upwards and onwards.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4324 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Topic Posts: 7

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