I'm over 3 1/2 years out from Dday, quick though quite painful D after that.
One thing I valued is that I've kept a close relationship with my XSIL and her family. Her kids still call me "Aunt persevere" and I watch them so XSIL and XBIL can have a night out every 3-4 months or so.
I've been invited to the kids' bday parties each year. At first they weren't inviting XWH but over the past few years they've been rebuilding their relationship bit by bit which I understand. She is still not fond of OW, but being civil. Last year they invited me to one, DS in August, and XWH/OW to the other, DD in October, as a compromise.
This year I hadn't heard about any celebration, but their DS turned 4 and I just saw on FB that they celebrated yesterday, and honestly, it hurt. First time I've had that feeling since probably last year. (I'm so glad I have XWH and OW blocked so I can't see if they were tagged).
I won't say anything. Just take the high road and ask when I can bring by his gift. Play with the kids.
I know this is a normal progression, but it's one area that's hard to let go. XSIL has been so amazing and supportive thru this whole process. I knew she would move forward with some level of normalcy with her brother at some point, as she should, but it still hurts. It feels like yet another loss from the infidelity monster.
Thanks for listening to me whine...lol.
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.