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saying no to a second date

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karen49 posted 8/26/2014 09:47 AM

I am fine with going out with someone that somebody thinks would be a good match for me.The problem is how do you say no thanks after you have met them,especially since it is someone that you know, friend?

Amazonia posted 8/26/2014 09:57 AM

I pretend it's mutual. At the end of the date, if I'm clearly not feeling it, I just friend zone the guy.

"Oh man, that crazy Karen, she's sweet for trying to set us up. I really enjoyed chatting with you, and I can definitely see where she was coming from, because I think we're going to be great friends, but we'll just have to let her down gently tomorrow on the dating thing." etc.

phmh posted 8/26/2014 20:28 PM

I agree with ama. Personally, I find this the most unpleasant thing about dating, yet I have done it dozens of times, so I am getting practice at it.

Never lie ("I met someone else," "I'm just not ready to date") because you want to live authentically and also there's a chance you could get caught in a lie and hurt his feelings worse.

Pretending it's mutual is great -- otherwise I just say something like, "I'm sorry that we weren't a match, but I wish you the best of luck in finding a fabulous lady!"

InnerLight posted 8/29/2014 00:29 AM

It helped me to keep in mind the guy is a grown man and can take it. People appreciate you being straight forward so they don't waste time wondering. Kindness in choice of words is enough.

Thanks for the date. I don't feel we are a romantic match but I wish you the best in your search.

7yrsflushed posted 8/29/2014 08:52 AM

It helped me to keep in mind the guy is a grown man and can take it. People appreciate you being straight forward so they don't waste time wondering. Kindness in choice of words is enough.

Thanks for the date. I don't feel we are a romantic match but I wish you the best in your search.

^^^This. Be straight forward. I know I appreciated when a woman told me she was not interested. We are all supposed to be adults so treat them like you want to be treated. If he wasn't interested in you wouldn't you want him to be upfront as well instead of wasting your time?

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