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I just realized I can still watch netflix with my xWH's account. In the "recently watched by So-and-So" section, the most recent movie is Indecent Proposal, the story of a woman who gets an offer to sleep with a billionaire and considers it because her husband needs the money. I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive but that makes me sick. Is he watching movies about infidelity to make himself feel justified? Wtf?

[This message edited by JellyGirl84 at 10:02 PM, August 28th (Thursday)]

Who knows what he's doing, really? Maybe he didn't think it applied to you two? I'm sometimes flabbergasted at fWW's not connecting this kind of thing to us, me, her.
Here's a similar story from my house: I came into the living room the other day and sat down next to W on the couch to watch tv. She was watching some reality show where the story was an infidelity. I got up and left. A few minutes later, I came back and sat with her again. Because the same show was still on, I got up to leave again. As I was walking away she said, "do you want me to put something else on?" I said, "I just don't understand how you can be watching this..." She said, "what? why? this is nothing like our situation." I said, "well... it's *something* like our situation!"

Point is, she didn't make the connection; I did. I thought that was more than a little weird and frustrating. I feel your wtf? is right on.

I think they're so good at turning off the feelings. I think that is what it must be. I noticed the shows following Indecent Proposal were a movie that he always loved to watch and some cartoon movies that his/our nephew or the OW's kids could've watched. Barf.

We sing public karaoke...lots of memories both good and bad surround karaoke.
One night, the bf of the hostess was wanting me to sing She Wolf. I declined as it tells a very exact story of our last debacle. I didn't think I could get through it and I'd already suffered the extremely public embarrassment of a complete panic attack on stage in front of at least 100 people earlier on during his affair. I was singing a long favorite..If You Could Read My Mind from Gordon Lightfoot, another intensely personal song outlining so much of our life. It took awhile to reclaim that but in my favor, I got back on stage after a massive screaming fit out on the street in the rain. I've never done anything like that before or since.

Anyways, I ramble but back to She Wolf. My H asked me why I wouldn't want to sing that song >.<

I faced that demon though...I did learn to sing it privately and one night, I will sing it publicly because that's how I purge and give a big "fuck you" to the pain surrounding something and the people who caused it. There are few things I can do that with but I take any opportunity I can.

He's always listening to music that involves infidelity etc because so much of current music does and it never registers on him and it never has. This has always bothered me but he simply doesn't make that connection. I'm very symbolic so everything means something. He isn't. Don't know what else to say other than it's baffling. Fyi, he is remorseful and has been pretty perfect about healing things so it's not that he's still wayward, it's just him...he's a music freak and can't make the connection.

In case anyone's interested:

She Wolf
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/davidguetta/shewolffallingtopieces.html

If you could read my mind
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/gordonlightfoot/ifyoucouldreadmymind.html

On the evening of D-Day, WH turned on the iPod before we went to sleep. My mind was a whirl and I wasn't listening to the music, but after about ten minutes he turned it off and said it was depressing. OK. No big deal. Neither of us ended up sleeping that night anyway.

No music the next night because he's decided to put in a less offensive play list. I suggest Enya because it has no lyrics.

The next night, iPod goes on. Couldn't tell what the lyrics of the first song were. Second song was "I'll Stand by You." I lay there and listened, waiting for it to be over. It's the longest song in the entire world, but it finally ended and the third song began. Toni Braxton's "He Wasn't Man Enough for Me."

Are you kidding?? I told him his playlist left a lot to be desired and he turned it off with an apology.

Men are not too bright sometimes.