Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Firechild83

New Beginnings :
Did I miss something, like a really obvious signal?

This Topic is Archived
question

 dlmos (original poster member #36839) posted at 6:44 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

So I'm pretty dense when it comes to signals from girls...and I'm pretty sure I missed one. So here's what happened:

So I had to get my security badge renewed today and a cute girl happened to be doing it. While she was typing away on the computer we were having a pleasant conversation, nothing special just chit chat. She had a couple visible tattoos and I complemented one because it was pretty unique. She said she had noticed mine and complemented it. She is joked about how she always sees my engine running calls in her area. She joked about how many brothers I had in the department and asked if my wife or girlfriend worked there too (this I think was the signal I missed). I just laughed and said no and moved on with the conversation.

She asked if I had a good Easter and I said yes, mentioned my DD was happy because its her birthday and gets two parties in one week. I made a joke about giving her a bunch of birthday cake and sending her back to her mons. She laughed a lot, not awkward laugh but she seemed real nice and got embarrassed when she had a computer issue. When she finished I thanked her for getting me in to get it renewed so quickly and went home.

When I got done working out I noticed she sent me an email apologizing for it taking so long, even though it couldn't have been more than 10 minutes. I didn't even consider any of our conversation until that point.

So am I right in this being a signal? After looking back I think it was, and maybe the email was a way of trying to get it through to me?

BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced

posts: 461   ·   registered: Sep. 16th, 2012   ·   location: Fort Worth,Texas
id 6282632
default

ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 6:55 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

So am I right in this being a signal?

Which one?

The tat convo?

Her asking if your W or GF were in the dept?

Her laughing - A LOT - when you mentioned DD eating the cake and going back to mom's?

Her innocuous follow-up email?

Yeah, hon.

She's interested.

AJ's MOM

Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34

posts: 21424   ·   registered: Dec. 21st, 2007   ·   location: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
id 6282650
default

Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 6:55 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

I don't think you missed a signal, I think the email was the signal.

Now what are you going to do?

Hugs,

K

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6282653
default

Maxiom ( member #26001) posted at 6:55 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

had in the department and asked if my wife or girlfriend worked there too

Yes. that is exactly what you think it is. Not a full on hit.. just a shot across the bow.

I forgot to add... I think this speaks very well of her. She's fishing to see if you are available first.

I have been hit on by enough who just don't care.

[This message edited by Maxiom at 12:59 PM, April 2nd (Tuesday)]

posts: 471   ·   registered: Oct. 28th, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6282654
default

fireproof ( member #36126) posted at 6:59 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

That is great!

The email was for you to have another way to contact her.

Coffee or lunch is no pressure if you are interested.

Good luck!

posts: 1563   ·   registered: Jul. 14th, 2012
id 6282661
default

nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 7:11 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

Well... now that you know... ???

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6282677
default

Cookie7088 ( member #30038) posted at 7:17 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

Hmmmm...come over here, so I can smack you in the forehead...

Got a V-8 anyone?

posts: 735   ·   registered: Nov. 7th, 2010   ·   location: U.S.
id 6282686
default

wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 7:18 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

Um, yeah. That all adds up to being a Bat Signal.

So. Whatcha gonna do now?

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

posts: 16593   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2006   ·   location: Somewhere
id 6282688
default

nutmegkitty ( member #33882) posted at 7:39 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

Yeah, the email is a signal.

Me - happy!
2 DDs

Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.

posts: 4401   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2011   ·   location: MA
id 6282707
default

veelop5 ( member #11089) posted at 8:00 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

Def signal!!!! Don't keep us waiting...

ME-40
XH-DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE
3 beautiful boys (21,20 & 17)
Update: Moved in to my own apartment 8/7/2012
10/27/2014-Met a wonderful man 9months ago
Divorce final 3/27/2013

posts: 1121   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2006   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 6282729
default

 dlmos (original poster member #36839) posted at 8:20 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

Lol, bat signal!

I really have no idea what I want to do about it though. I know I am not interested in a serious relationship but she seems real nice and wouldn't mind hanging out with her (I don't mean sex either). I guess I wouldn't want to give her the wrong impression, or feel I'm trying to take advantage of her. But it would be nice to have someone to take dancing now that I'm learning. Not sure if that makes sense.

Think I just need to take the day and think about it. I've got my kids coming over soon and DD birthday party tonight so my mind is a little preoccupied.

BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced

posts: 461   ·   registered: Sep. 16th, 2012   ·   location: Fort Worth,Texas
id 6282766
default

Brandon808 ( member #35619) posted at 8:21 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

The email is, at a minimum, a way to continue the conversation you two were having.

posts: 4634   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2012
id 6282768
default

gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 8:40 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

My guess is that tomorrow you lost your ID badge and need to get a temporary one from her.

oh and Friday you will found it and have t return the temporary one back to her.

(Bad grammar intentional)

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

posts: 3991   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011   ·   location: Georgia
id 6282807
default

k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 8:41 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

Sweetheart....I've seen the pictures from the g2g in Texas.

She doesn't want to be "just friends."

And yes....you're dense.

k9

BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

posts: 7747   ·   registered: Jul. 3rd, 2006   ·   location: Wisconsin
id 6282810
default

thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 8:43 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

Um, yeah! Asking about a wife or GF was a huge hunting expedition right before your eyes (ears?). It shows she has integrity and it's exactly how one DDIL approached the subject with one DS when she first came in contact with him. He still didn't quite *get it* and someone brought them together to try to help him *get it*.

And the other DDIL needed a more direct *2x4* approach with that DS. She knew he was available because she worked in the same office. Both were told they had missed signals from other women that were very obvious to those watching.

Are you interested enough to follow up?

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 5033   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 6282816
default

persevere ( member #31468) posted at 9:07 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

I'm with ajsmom, I read about 10 signals in your original post, lol.

So, now what?

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6282861
default

SBB ( member #35229) posted at 10:00 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

I miss signals all the time friend. We switched off that part of our brain when we y'know - married someone.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6282958
default

exhausted lady ( member #30217) posted at 6:18 AM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013

dlmos.....the question about wife/girlfriend was a BIG Sign. The email follow-up?

Ummm, dude.....if she's someone you might want to get to know a little better....ASK HER OUT! (after you make sure she's single too, of course)

There is nothing wrong with taking things slowly, in fact it usually works out better.

But yeah, you missed some big signals.

Welcome to being single again.

Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr

posts: 3171   ·   registered: Nov. 25th, 2010   ·   location: Colorado
id 6283544
default

5454real ( member #37455) posted at 6:33 AM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013

If you don't take her some of that cake,I may have to come do some vehicle extrication training to remove one of your body parts from another!

Lot of women telling you it's a green light. Take it and run! How much bad advice have you gotten on SI?

Get your head out, ask her. What's the worst she can say?

Strength

Eta Damn, what a great first line!

[This message edited by 5454real at 12:35 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)]

BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle

posts: 5670   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6283553
default

Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 6:20 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013

Hey; nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you're not ready to date but enjoyed her company, there's nothing wrong with putting that out there and seeing how she responds.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6283941
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20260402b 2002-2026 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy