SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

That bully is my father's AP. Aka, step momster. As some of you may know my father passed away this past summer after being hit by a car as he was walking to his car. He spent 4 weeks in ICU and 3 weeks at hospice. He suffered greatly through the process as he did through most of his life. Step momster was a terribly horrible person through the ordeal and I picked my battles. She has been officially diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and some other mental issues. She's quite the sociopath and I learned about quite a bit of domestic violence that took place in their house. All of which was against my father. The mental and emotional abuse was blatant as well which also included a 3 week affair that took place on the other side of the county. The list goes on and on about what my father had to endure. Some of it he was a victim. A lot of it he chose to stay and live with. He could have gotten out at any time with me as I told him repeatedly I wanted to get him out.

A few weeks ago I received a copy of his will in which he left everything to step momster and a waiver that step momster and her lawyer wanted me to sign. Basically it states that I would not contest the will and everything would be expedited to step momster. I sat on it and did nothing. See when I left there after my father's funeral I vowed I was done with that chapter of my life and I closed the book. I want nothing to do with step momster and went NC with her (as I am with my own NPD mother). I want no part in all that crazyness.

Well, step momsters lawyers left me 6 voice mails asking me to please sign the waiver. My step sister, who I really like and was there for my father the past few years, sent me a text that step momster's head was exploding because I would not sign the paper work. That I was being deliberately evil. That made me laugh. I wasn't being evil. I was just staying NC and staying out of everything. I'll be honest. I did enjoy hearing that I was causing step momster grief.

Then I started to think about it. I spoke with a few of you here in pm's. By talking about it I came to the conclusion that I did want to contest the will for 2 very important reasons. First, I know it's what my father would have wanted as we did have some discussions about a will that he would not create because he didn't want to rock the boat. But he did say he wanted to leave me "something" and also my brother's ashes (I got the ashes while he was in ICU). Second reason, I started to feel like how I felt when I had the day of reckoning with my own mother. Like I had a voice and was standing up to a bully. Like reading a victim impact statement at the sentencing of a murderer/bully. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to stand up to this bully. Not to mention step momster plays the part of an AP in my FOO. Which is also one of my father's biggest regrets or so he told me.

I feel like this is one more way I can take care of my father after his death. I also have a shit eating grin about confronting the bully and exposing her for who she really is. I don't give a fuck about the money. I really don't. That's not what this is about.

My estate lawyer here in my state took one look at it and saw a whole bunch of red flags. She recommended me to a counterpart in NY where the will is. That lawyer sees the same red flags and a whole lot more. I don't want to get into what those red flags are but lets just say I was told I have a "very strong case". I file this week. I'll let you know when I hear step momster's head explode.

I don't care if I lose and am out money. The fact that this is already having a dramatic effect on step momster feels good. The fact that she is going to get exposed in court for who she really is feels great. Pretty much this is a no lose situation for me. This week is a good week.

yop

I say, "GO for it!"

I think I heard eye of the tiger playing in the background as I read your post lol

[This message edited by Notthevictem at 3:50 PM, December 10th (Thursday)]

I agree. Go for it. I'll see if I can hear the explosion from where I'm at.

yearsofpain25

You go for it. That step momster deserves all the bad karma possible.

BTW your back story is the most horrifying and yet moving that I have seen here. On SI that is saying something.

Bravo, yop!

There would be no way in hell I would have signed the waiver either. It's a matter of principle, and standing up to the witch.

The document they want you to sign REEKS of coercion. It tells me your father was NOT on board with the will---that he was coerced to sign.

I would contest.

Evil bitch.

I think you are awesome (((yearsofpain25)))

When you win this use that money for good.

Like a Good trip someplace warm.

And then give a large chunk to some charity she is against, like people w/ a heart for those in need, and do it in her name, so she gets the thankyou letter .....

BWAhahahahahahaha

Just read your entire backstory. That was one 'hell' of a history

Your father was abused by your mother and bullied by your step mother. It seems to me that his free will was compromised in creating that will

It is very unlikely that he would not want you to benefit in some way

If contesting the will gives you a degree of satisfaction then go for it and good luck

Holy crap, YOP, this is great stuff. I'm happy for you in sticking it to the bully.

Oh my ... well, bless her heart. I hope that she gets EVERYTHING that she's entitled to and is owed. Why, do I wonder, do I have a mental image of a tastefully tassled oxford in ox-blood red being used as a suppository?

Thanks everyone. It does feel good and I still have a grin on my face. Going to text my step sister in a bit letting her know that my lawyer will be contacting her soon.

Widower

BTW your back story is the most horrifying and yet moving that I have seen here. On SI that is saying something.

Nah. No better or worse than anyone else. I'm a tiny voice among many here. Pain is pain. To each of us our pain is the worst pain in the world.

Tushy

When you win this use that money for good.

Like a Good trip someplace warm.

And then give a large chunk to some charity she is against, like people w/ a heart for those in need, and do it in her name, so she gets the thankyou letter .....

BWAhahahahahahaha

I like the way that you think. First, there isn't much money there to begin with. He had to file chapter 13 a few years back. But I do know there is something which I'll explain in a sec. IF, and that's a big IF, I get anything, I would donate to my father's favorite charity - his grandkids the yopplets. My father was big on education. One of the last conversations I had with my father he also regretted not being able to see and spend time with his grandchildren as much as he would have liked. See step momster faked a back injury and said that she could never travel again. She used it as a manipulation tactic to keep my father home. How do I know? Cuz then she flew out to Cali to fuck some guy for 3 weeks? Then with my father's COPD towards the end there really was no coming here. And with the craziness and assaults going on in his house I could not bring my kids there. With that anything I get would go straight to college funds for all 3 of his grandkids. I wouldn't touch a penny of it for myself.

@ solus

The document they want you to sign REEKS of coercion. It tells me your father was NOT on board with the will---that he was coerced to sign.

BINGO!!! Just one of the red flags.

The timing of when the will was created is also suspect. 3 weeks before the accident. The paper work that was sent to me is so suspect. The lawsuit that is going on for my father's estate from the accident was not listed. His 401K was not listed. Step momster was listed as executor and sole beneficiary. The fact that I'm listed as a backup executor if she were to predecease my father was a mistake on her part because she spelled my name wrong. In fact, my name is spelled wrong throughout all of the documents that were sent to me. The spelling is that of her grandson's. My father named me and I have plenty of cards where my father spells my name correctly. It's all notarized so she can't get out of that one. It looks like she drew up the will and just had my father sign it. That's it. My father named me and has never spelled my name wrong. That's all legally documented so I feel safe mentioning those flags. Not like she can change the paper work at this point.

There are more red flags and the plan of attack that my lawyer is taking is pretty sound.

That's another thing. My lawyer in my state said I really should pursue it because it looks so bad. My NY lawyer stressed that she really wanted this case and is going to take her cut on a % of anything in the end. I only have to cover court fees and filing fees. When a lawyer lights up like this THAT should tell you something. Told me something that's for sure. And they are a very big law firm.

Like I said. Fuck the money. Lawyer knows my motivation is not the money. She did say that they may want to settle. I haven't told my lawyer yet but my response to that may very well be for step momster's team to go fuck themselves. I'm more interested in getting this into a court setting and getting my father's voice heard if I can.

I suppose I'm getting way way ahead of myself though. Who knows what could happen and I'm honestly not expecting anything. Lawyer did say that the judge could just rule everything in favor of step momster and that would be that.

I just picked a fight and I'm listening for when step momster finds out. I'll let you know when I hear it. Hopefully next week.

In the meantime I feel good about it. Better than I thought I would.

yop

Skan

Why, do I wonder, do I have a mental image of a tastefully tassled oxford in ox-blood red being used as a suppository?

Yop , I hope you get knighted for this!

Good for you. I feel like you are propping up your father in the only way he could stand up to her, after death. I have to imagine that he is thankful for your strength and determination.

Good for you, I hope it all goes in your favor and his voice is heard!

OMG YOP. Freakin' awesome!!! I feel giddy for you. Just like getting your brothers ashes was a major victory for you , where you could finally restore some sense of balance and justice in this situation, this gives you the opportunity to fight for your dad and against all the injustice that was done to him.

Damn, I'm so happy you're doing this. I kinda hope the BOOM when her head explodes can be heard at least halfway across the country.

Kickin' ass and takin' names. I love it. Good for you. Karma is all on your side now. Step monster so deserves all of this. Go get her!!!!

Awesome! Keep at it!