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TearInYourHand (original poster member #14193) posted at 5:50 AM on Friday, March 15th, 2013
I've been meaning to share this for a while, but when I check my profile on this site, I can't believe its been 6 years since I joined, almost 6 1/2 since infidelity changed my life..
In October of this past year, I finally got married for the first time. I married a wonderful man that I met on meetup.com when I was least expecting to meet someone. I could say a million things about him, but the fact is the relationship itself is like any other - its tough as hell, its a teacher, and it rubs us in all the right, precise ways to cause conflict - proving the adage that the lesson never goes away until its learned! Its been a tough relationship from the start, as our personal baggage complemented each other in a way that intensified our differences (although we were both the betrayed partners in the past).
But despite all that and all our own baggage and flaws, my partner is an amazing man, with all the must-have qualities that I couldn't have dared hope for in a single package especially after experiencing infidelity. So, I'm married - although most of the time I don't feel that its registered yet. We were married in a very small destination wedding on Oahu. We went with it because my twin sister did the same thing on the Big Island the previous year, and neither one of us are about making a huge ordeal of things in front of mostly strangers that we have no connection with. So we got an intimate ceremony with the few that mattered, and a two week wedding-moon instead =)
Here's our photos: http://goo.gl/R3oBS
(I'm a bit proud of our wedding book, I laid this out myself and had these printed for our parents and grandparents)
We bought our first house together and also adopted our dog last year as well! =)
I've come to see a relationship not as a new beginning at all, but a continuation of our personal journey, oftentimes still struggling chapter after chapter to tie down and conclude those lessons unlearned (man, how many chapters is this going to take?! 
), trying to grow beyond our emotions and internal dialogue. We find a partner that helps us get there, while still hopefully being able to be loving, respectful and compassionate partners and friends to one another.
Thanks for letting me share. SI was at times the only thing that got me through many of my worst days. Much gratitude and thanks to this site and members for keeping this site going to support those going through the struggle.
[This message edited by TearInYourHand at 7:20 AM, March 15th (Friday)]
35 - FBSO
“Integrity has no need of rules.”
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 6:48 AM on Friday, March 15th, 2013
Congrats to you and your new husband ! 
The link took me to the home page of the site. I didn't see where the pics were. 
I've come to see a relationship not as a new beginning at all, but a continuation of our personal journey
I like this. 
Happy hugs and I wish you a lifetime of happiness together !
Gma
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
TearInYourHand (original poster member #14193) posted at 1:12 PM on Friday, March 15th, 2013
Thanks GMA =) Sorry about the link - it should work now!
35 - FBSO
“Integrity has no need of rules.”
stronggirl72 ( member #37293) posted at 1:31 PM on Friday, March 15th, 2013
I'm so happy for you both.
Two lines stood out for me:
'I've come to see a relationship not as a new beginning at all'.
And this...
...'but a continuation of our personal journey'.
Life really is a journey, and does go on. It's so nice to read a happy story now and again.
[This message edited by stronggirl72 at 7:35 AM, March 15th (Friday)]
"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."
DIVORCED!!
bbee ( member #17840) posted at 2:08 PM on Friday, March 15th, 2013
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1
Griefstricken25 ( member #29183) posted at 3:36 PM on Friday, March 15th, 2013
Your photos are stunning, as are you! Congratulations and many blessings in your "continued journey".
Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 12:30 PM on Saturday, March 16th, 2013
Congratulations and may your journey happily continue.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
meaniemouse ( member #10798) posted at 10:20 PM on Saturday, March 16th, 2013
Everything was absolutely beautiful.. Bride, Groom, Family, Setting. Just everything. Best wishes for a lifetime of happiness for you and your husband as you continue your journey together. Thanks so much for sharing.
Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 10:21 PM on Saturday, March 16th, 2013
Absolutely beautiful wedding and pictures !
The wedding book is perfect ! Good job !!!
You both are so blessed to have found each other and now joined in marriage.
I wish you many happy years together.
Gma
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
MyVoice ( member #35695) posted at 10:31 PM on Saturday, March 16th, 2013
Congratulations and thank you for sharing your happiness with us. You are absolutely gorgeous what a stunning bride and the groom is cute too
Me:BW 46, Him:WH 50
two kids DD14 and DS17
Married 26 years
OW 28, crew member (he was the ships captain)
"People are formed by their actions, not their ideals" unknown
redvixen ( member #15259) posted at 1:24 AM on Sunday, March 17th, 2013
Congratulations and thank you so much for an uplifting update! Many more wonderful years for you both!
Edited to add: Gorgeous photos, location, everything!!!
[This message edited by redvixen at 7:31 PM, March 16th (Saturday)]
Me, BS Him WS early 40's at the start, cheated before and after cancer diagnosis.
Two A's, two OW's, online looking for sex partners, two false R's.
Threw him out in January 2009.
Divorce final March 30th, 2010
XWH died Dec. 2010
LisaP ( member #15088) posted at 5:10 AM on Sunday, March 17th, 2013
Me BS
Divorced!
~Feel your emotions, but control your behavior~ Unknown
LeftBehind08 ( member #38705) posted at 6:37 AM on Sunday, March 17th, 2013
SO absolutely beautiful! Congratulations to you and your hubby!
Sometimes it's lonely, Sometimes it's only me & the shadows that fill this room...
But it's a great day to be alive & the sun still shines when I close my eyes ~Travis Tritt
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 9:55 PM on Sunday, March 17th, 2013
Beautiful Congratulations!
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 11:37 PM on Sunday, March 17th, 2013
I have no idea why, but I have tears in my eyes after looking at your wedding pictures. They are beautiful pictures and you two look very happy. The picture of the family while they were watching the ceremony was the one that "got" me! I wish you much happiness!
This speaks to me!
I've come to see a relationship not as a new beginning at all, but a continuation of our personal journey, oftentimes still struggling chapter after chapter to tie down and conclude those lessons unlearned, trying to grow beyond our emotions and internal dialogue. We find a partner that helps us get there, while still hopefully being able to be loving, respectful and compassionate partners and friends to one another.
[This message edited by better4me at 5:38 PM, March 17th (Sunday)]
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
hurtbs ( member #10866) posted at 3:03 AM on Monday, March 18th, 2013
How beautiful. Congratulations!
Me - 40 something. WXH DDay 2006, Divorced 2012
WBF DDay #1 9/2022 #2 11/2022
Single
irrelevancy ( member #33579) posted at 4:48 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2013
Wow! What an amazing book with amazing pictures!
The greatest gift a father can give his children is to love (or at the very least, respect) their mother....
That didn't happen.... we're divorced as a result.
Newlease ( member #7767) posted at 8:37 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2013
Beautiful couple and beautiful sentiment.
NL
Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.
redrock ( member #21538) posted at 10:25 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2013
Congrats!
Wow! The photos are gorgeous!
Wishing you the very best.
I don't respect anyone that can't spell a word more than one way:)
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 10:48 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2013
How lovely - the photos, the location, the two of you, and your post as well.
Thank you for sharing this and shining a little light for us all.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
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