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We are almost two weeks out from when I confessed my affair to my wife and I feel like we are making no progress at all. My BW simply acts like she does not care and we've fallen back into the routine of just living. I can sense she is more angry at me but she won't look at me, won't talk to me, and acts like I don't exist. I honestly felt like we could rebuild once this secret came out. That if she stayed we both could try to fix us and instead it just seems like she wants to just ignore it and silently hate me. She hasn't spoken to me at all in 5 days. I know that recovery takes a long, long time but I am beginning to doubt I have the strength to take this. I was unhappy before but at least I had OW. Now I have no one and I have a wife that is acting like I am dead to her. I am not all trying to get sympathy but it is very trying.

We have a counseling appointment next Wednesday and she did agree to come with me. That is the only positive sign she has given me. I just don't understand her. I've been reading almost every single post in the Just Found Out forum from BW's. No one reacted how she is reacting. How do you not care? How can someone not have anger at all. Does that mean she was that checked out from our marriage? She isn't giving me anything at all. No don't talk to OW. No, anger or hatred. Its just nothing.

Have you gotten rid of your car yet?

She is destroyed. She is in shock. You have absolutely blown up her world and there are no textbooks, no guides telling us how we are supposed to react.

There were days, weeks, that I could not muster up the energy to feel ANYTHING at all.

Dude, you've got a long, hard road ahead of you. And you cannot expect one single thing from her right now. If you want your M, then you are just going to have to dig deep and find the energy, the love, the strength to do what's right because it's the right thing to do. Regardless of what her response is. Regardless if she seems to appreciate it. I'm going to find some posts here to bump for you. One of them is called The Life Boat. And another is How Much does my BS hurt?

Please read them. Print them out. The Life Boat helped my H more than almost anything else. I hope you have this in you, I really do.

I believe she's in the numb/shocked stage. If you can't last through this, how in earth do you think you've got what it takes to deal with the really hard stuff?

Patience, expressions of regret, apologies. Keep doing it. Be there. Talk to her, and don't expect answers or responses. Just be with her and show you care about HER.

I was unhappy before but at least I had OW. Now I have no one

Are you serious? Did you tell your wife that?

CheaterNoah. Get. A. Grip.

Go back and read the last two threads you started. You have been asked many insightful questions that you refuse to address. You are still trying to band-aid this gushing wound.

She is in SHOCK. Her world has been rocked to its core and you think she should hold your hand and waltz thru the daisies?

You have all the details of the A. You know what you did. You know what you said. You know what you touched. You know all the moves, the tastes, smells, and feelings. Your wife doesn't. All she can think about right now is how a bomb has gone off in her heart. Give her more than 30 seconds to adjust to this. And then start preparing yourself for the flood of emotion when her shock switches to anger. Because it will come Noah. What will you do then?

As of right now, you have nothing to stand on. Your word is crap. It means nothing to her. It doesn't matter if you promise her the freaking moon. All she knows is that you're a liar.

Actions Noah. Consistent actions. With loooooottttssss of time and patience. If you want this to work, you bust your butt without expecting her to be holding your hand every second.

Go back and read the other two threads you started. Then read the stuff that HFSSC is bumping for you. Then read them again. Then print them off and read them again.

How Much Does My BS Hurt

http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=327446

Things Every WS Needs to Know

http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=324250

The Life Boat

http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=354101

You're kidding right? Come on man, give me a break. As others have told you she is in shock. BBF had moments where he would not talk to me, call me, answer my texts NOTHING. Then came the anger, then more indifference, then more anger and now we are trying to heal. It's been almost 3 months since D-Day and that is no time at all. This is the first week we have not argued, fought, cried and have had smiles and laughter. You have a lot of work to do, start doing it.

[This message edited by Unagie at 9:54 PM, November 29th (Thursday)]

She is destroyed. She is in shock. You have absolutely blown up her world and there are no textbooks, no guides telling us how we are supposed to react.

There were days, weeks, that I could not muster up the energy to feel ANYTHING at all.

Dude, you've got a long, hard road ahead of you. And you cannot expect one single thing from her right now. If you want your M, then you are just going to have to dig deep and find the energy, the love, the strength to do what's right because it's the right thing to do. Regardless of what her response is. Regardless if she seems to appreciate it. I'm going to find some posts here to bump for you. One of them is called The Life Boat. And another is How Much does my BS hurt?

Please read them. Print them out. The Life Boat helped my H more than almost anything else. I hope you have this in you, I really do.

Thank you for answering. I'm not sure what I want really. I want to make it right with my wife and I want to make her feel better. I want to live honestly. And I want to be happy myself.

Its just been so difficult because she has not given me anything. There has been nothing positive at all. There hasn't even been anything negative. I think we both deserve to be with people who care about us and if she really feels nothing than there is nothing to save. I know if the situations were reversed I would be distraught. Almost every other BW who posted on this site was at least hurt and broken up.

I will read the articles.

Have you gotten rid of your car yet?

No. Not yet. BW hasn't been in it since D-Day and if we start to move towards reconciling than I'll get rid of it. Just right now no one knows where we are, where we are going.

I believe she's in the numb/shocked stage. If you can't last through this, how in earth do you think you've got what it takes to deal with the really hard stuff?

Patience, expressions of regret, apologies. Keep doing it. Be there. Talk to her, and don't expect answers or responses. Just be with her and show you care about HER.

What are the stages? How long will she be in shock?

I don't know that I have what it takes. That is the truth. I may not have what it takes to deal with the really hard stuff. I'm pretty sure alone I can't do it. With her help, I do think we can overcome this but to expect me to help us recover alone is too much.

How do I show someone I care when she avoids me, recoils when I touch her, and doesn't talk to me? I'm messaging her through the day telling her what I am doing, that I miss her, and her response is to not say anything back. I am trying very, very hard.

Are you serious? Did you tell your wife that?

CheaterNoah. Get. A. Grip.

Go back and read the last two threads you started. You have been asked many insightful questions that you refuse to address. You are still trying to band-aid this gushing wound.

I didn't tell her that and that wasn't meant to say I was missing OW. It was me missing the human interaction. The caring. I want it with my BW not with OW. Maybe no one can relate but its so hard to go from having someone love you, like OW did, to someone being indifferent and not caring, like BW.

What questions am I not answering?

I was expecting anger and rage. That was what I was preparing myself for and that has what everyone told me to expect. So this has completely thrown me. I don't know how to respond or react.

You're kidding right? Come on man, give me a break. As others have told you she is in shock. BBF had moments where he would not talk to me, call me, answer my texts NOTHING. Then came the anger, then more indifference, then more anger and now we are trying to heal. It's been almost 3 months since D-Day and that is no time at all. This is the first week we have not argued, fought, cried and have had smiles and laughter. You have a lot of work to do, start doing it.

I'm not you, Unagie. Maybe I don't have the same strength to handle how my BW's reaction. I've spent a long time wondering why can't I feel what "you" have felt. The shame and the patience and I don't know the answer. Maybe its just something I can't do? I feel like a complete fuck-up reading the comments here, the PMs on reddit, my wife's reaction, etc. I wish there was some way I could just feel a spark and know what I have to do and have the strength to do it. Please don't act like its so easy though. If I could feel what I have to, I would. I wouldn't be making a post asking for help if I knew what to do.

I don't even know where to begin. I hope it's ok that I post, I'm a BS.

2 weeks is NOTHING. What I tell you may not be easy to handle but please try to see it as a BW. My H had an A after 20 yrs of marriage. You just have stand back from the situation and realize that this is the biggest most distructive , beyond devastating thing that is happening in her life. You have destroyed her heart, stomped on it, spit on it and made her feel numb at this moment. There is NOWAY you can expect a single thing from her right now. Not a smile, a hug an I love you... Her brain is on over time right now replaying painful made up mind movies of her husband touching another woman, kissing, making ow feel good and important, she is comparing herself, trying to piece together all the lies with the ugly truth. In my case my H confessed before I found out but within 2 months or so he moved out to live with MOW. Her H filed for divorce and she was free to be with my H. I cried, screamed, punched the floors on my knees asking ... No screaming at te top of my lungs asking God why? Why me?? I lost 40+ lbs in about 8 wks or so, I lost a lot of hair. I slept maybe 3 hrs a night only because I cried myself to sleep for months and months.

My H returned after a false R. He answered my questions but I always came up with more. I loved him and hated him at the same time. Sometimes I could not look at him, not be in the same room.

He wanted me to get over it and did not understand. In his mind I should have been making an effort because he "chose" me. He was sorry. He also went through withdrawls over MOW. I had to witness his F-ing sadness. It took MONTHS but remorse hit him and hit him with a force that I didn't expect. When he started thinking back at all the lies he told me, how he told me he didn't feel the same for me anymore and he was sorry but Bharat fallen for her. As far as him even answering his sister " yes I'm in love with MOW"

When he started seeing that what looked like anger and hate in my eyes was really suffering like he's never felt or seen before. He cried uncontrollably. He apologized all the time and still does. He didn't know what to do. He gave me space because he thought I didn't want him near me. But he started reaching out to me like he never has. He sucked it up and started to own his huge F-up. He would reach out and hold my hand as I slept. He would caress my face , look me in the eyes and tell me he was going to do whatever it takes.

It's been over a yr of NC. He calls me during the day. He texts me I love yous, I'm sorry, I am the biggest idiot and he luckiest man..

He is totally over MOW. Don't get me wrong there are times that he wants me to be over it like he is. But he knows that what he did will take years and a long and hard road ahead of us. We are doing so much better but every few weeks or months, we or I hit a hurdle and it hurts still. Accept that she will never have blind trust again, you shattered the fairy tale. She loves you more than you realize or she would not be in the same house with you. She is trying to make sense of this and she can't. A lot of marriages end in divorce bcause : the spouse returns to cheating, leaves the spouse for ow/OM , expects that th BS should treat them with affection, get over it, be grateful that the WS is back...

Sorry for the longest reply! But please don't dare think or say that at least you had ow and now you have no one. You put yourself in this situation. You have to do the work. Let her know that you love her, that you understand but can't truly imagine the pain she is feeling and most of all I WILL BE HERE, EVEN IF YOU CAN'T STAND TO LOOK AT ME, ARE ANGRY OR JUST NUMB. Let her know that you are going to do what it takes to win her back and you will be the man she will be proud of.

[This message edited by Offhispedestal at 10:42 PM, November 29th (Thursday)]

No stop sign so here it goes....

Your BW is acting like that because you destroyed her. Some people, myself included, are not quick to trust. So when we do trust a person that is a BIG deal. She trusted you and you pissed all over that trust. And now you want her to cry, gnash her teeth, tear out her hair, etc.? Not gonna happen. She doesn't want to give you the satisfaction of seeing her break down. Trust me the anger and hurt IS there, but she doesn't feel safe sharing it with you. And why should she? You have proven that you are not worthy of that level of intimacy.

ETA: "I don't know that I have what it takes. That is the truth. I may not have what it takes to deal with the really hard stuff. I'm pretty sure alone I can't do it. With her help, I do think we can overcome this but to expect me to help us recover alone is too much."

Sorry to say you're going to have to do all the heavy lifting right now. You are the one who betrayed her, and you are the one who is going to have to make it right. She is doing all she can just to get through the day, with the added stress of being pregnant! I never responded during the first few months when my WH texted me or told me he loved me or whatever else. Because, frankly, in those first few months it just rang hollow. You have a long, hard road ahead of you that is going to require you to do most of the heavy lifting.

[This message edited by dameia at 10:45 PM, November 29th (Thursday)]

How much have you initiated conversations about the A, Noah? Are you waiting for her to come to you, or do you take initiative, and if you do, how does it look like?

Perhaps her silence is her way of expressing her extreme anger. She's not speaking to you for a number of possible reasons: she's in shock, she is thoroughly disgusted with you, she's hurting too badly, maybe she's furious.

How would you support her if she were very angry?

I don't know what to say man, so I will just start.

Maybe no one can relate but its so hard to go from having someone love you, like OW did, to someone being indifferent and not caring, like BW.

Are you still standing in the space that what you and your AP had was love? Really? That was not love. If you think that was love, you are still deep in the fog.

How do you not care? How can someone not have anger at all. Does that mean she was that checked out from our marriage?

She isn't giving me anything at all.

Right now it is your job to give to her. Are you so insecure that you can't stand that she is showing you how upset she is? That she isn't begging you to stay? What do you want her to say? What if she was checked out of the marriage, you were, right? But you cheated.

Like others have said, she is in shock.

If you can't take this for two weeks, you are not going to make it through R.

BW hasn't been in it since D-Day and if we start to move towards reconciling than I'll get rid of it. Just right now no one knows where we are, where we are going.

If you are not going to commit to R, why should she. If you want it, do everything and anything you can to start the process. You can't expect her to make a first move, man up and start fighting if you want your M to survive.

I wish you luck.

CN, you really don't sound all that committed to your marriage or your wife. I get the feeling that *yea, you want to stay married to her* but only IF she *does* something for YOU.

You went outside of your marriage, CN. You are the one that is in the *prove you want this marriage* seat. And IMO, you are failing.

You took away your BW's safety and security...why do you think that she *owes* you anything? You broke a marital vow....the most basic premise of a marital relationship--*forsaking all others*. And 2 weeks ago you were *blaming* your BW for basically *forcing* you into cheating because you weren't *happy* with how the marriage was going.

if she stayed we both could try to fix us. I honestly felt like we could rebuild once this secret came out

You cannot *fix us* until you deal with the nuclear bomb that your A dropped into your marriage. Right now, you still have one foot out the door and I'll GUARANTEE you that your BW knows this. Your "rebuild" statement, again, comes across as an attitude of *if BW fixes herself, then our marriage will be fine because the only reason I cheated was because *she* created a hostile marriage environment. Noah, where is YOUR empathy for your pregnant wife??

I was unhappy before but at least I had OW. Now I have no one and I have a wife that is acting like I am dead to her. I am not all trying to get sympathy

I'm glad to hear that you're not trying to get sympathy because you aren't going to find anyone on this board that is going to sympathize with the attitude that you have. I can understand WHY your BW is acting like you are *dead to her*. You haven't proven YOUR commitment to your marriage. Why should she (the one that DIDN'T cheat) have to go *over and above* to prove to you that SHE wants YOU? You have already shown her that she is expendable by finding someone else. Right now, YOU are a *bad bet*. YOU need to prove yourself to her. And you can start doing that by being pro-active. Get rid of that f'n car, CN. Stop insisting that your BW go to MC with you and start IC for yourself. Stop making YOUR commitment conditional on HER response. You will only end up divorced if you continue with the *I'll sell my car IF we are going to stay married* path. Right now you do NOT get to put conditions on your BW. If you do that, she will most likely see it as a threat. That she better *do* what you say or else you'll go and cheat on her again.

Does that mean she was that checked out from our marriage? She isn't giving me anything at all

Have you actually talked to your BW and asked her about her feelings and how she sees the future?

CN, right now I think that YOU need to decide whether you are committed to your marriage or not. And it can't be a commitment that is based on your BW or her actions. Do you truly, truly love this woman and want to spend the rest of your life with her? From all that you have posted, I'm not so sure that you do.

Another thought... you've said that she's not talking to you, that she appears shut down. I worry about her health and the health of her baby. Is she taking care of herself?

What do you think about letting her know about SI? Specifically - about inviting her to join SI and seek support? She might need a safe place to share her feelings; maybe this is that place. Maybe she's stuffing her feelings right now, or at very least hiding them from everyone while she feels them. Maybe she feels horribly broken right now.

What do you think about inviting her to join SI and seek support?

I'm not you, Unagie. Maybe I don't have the same strength to handle how my BW's reaction. I've spent a long time wondering why can't I feel what "you" have felt. The shame and the patience and I don't know the answer. Maybe its just something I can't do? I feel like a complete fuck-up reading the comments here, the PMs on reddit, my wife's reaction, etc. I wish there was some way I could just feel a spark and know what I have to do and have the strength to do it. Please don't act like its so easy though. If I could feel what I have to, I would. I wouldn't be making a post asking for help if I knew what to do.

I do not act like its easy!! It's not easy, its the hardest thing I have ever done and believe me I've been through a lot on my short time on this earth. I asked for help dozens of times and I got hugs and support but also 2x4's smacked upside my head. YOU have to do the work and if your not strong enough I am sorry to say then you do not deserve this gift of rebuilding that you seem to want because the journey only gets tougher. How will you handle the anger when it comes? Do you thinks she'll hold your hand and support you then when the fights begin, when the crying spells hit, when she triggers, when she wants to punch you in the gut and yell at you but at the same time is wishing it had never happened? Do you think she'll hug you and tell you I love you when she feels like she got hit by a truck and left for dead. She's pregnant ALL her focus should be on herself and the baby. You sound so selfish, how do you not see that? OW isn't there and BW is treating me with coldness, woe is me...it's literally how I see your posts. I am sorry if I seem angry or harsh but I know people have given you advice on your other threads but it feels like you're looking for a set script that this is supposed to follow so that you can prepare yourself for your ole in it and if there's a rewrite your lost.

This journey is not easy and everyone has to find their own strength. No you're not me, you weren't in a psych ER ward 2 weeks ago on the verge of a mental breakdown, oh but you're right this is a walk in the park for all us WS who are trying. We are trying, that is what sets us apart. You are hoping to be walked through this in a nice safe bubble, the rest of us know we destroyed any chances of that bubble ever existing again and now must TRY with everything in us to succeed at making it to the end of this journey. You are stronger then you think CN but you get so caught up in what should be happening and not able to live in what is happening. I feel like you're still in the fog, talking about OW and how you no longer have her love. Why may I ask does this entire situation seem to be all about you and not about your BW. How dare she not react like all the other BW's and this is so trying. Why don't you try thinking about how she is feeling and that she may just be trying to take care of herself without hurting the baby. Why can't this just be her time right now and you use it to work on you?

CN, right now I think that YOU need to decide whether you are committed to your marriage or not. And it can't be a commitment that is based on your BW or her actions. Do you truly, truly love this woman and want to spend the rest of your life with her? From all that you have posted, I'm not so sure that you do.

I don't know the answer to the first question. I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about how things would be if... I cheated, so for me to say I'm committed to our marriage would be quite ridiculous. Just look at my history. I can't do it myself and I can't be in it alone. Having someone care about me and want me, even if those feelings were not "real" changed how I look at this.

I am afraid of divorce but maybe its an option. I don't know. I guess I will try to have a discussion with my BW about that. I've been so scared of the idea but maybe, maybe it has its benefits. I just don't know what to think.

I am not committed enough or strong enough to just get nothing from her and just keep battling for us on my own. It has to be us both as a team. That is why things went wrong before.

I'm really not trying to play this sympathy game either. She is pregnant and the BS; I'm the WS. No one should feel sorry for me and I don't expect anyone too. I just can't help but feeling like I was happier during the affair than I am now. I have to be more patient but I don't think anyone understands how little she is giving me. For some fucked up reason I felt like if I could open myself up to her and sincerely apologize we could end this as a team. And I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. That isn't at all how this has played out.

I can ask her to post on here but my only concern would be that I'm not there as a wayward spouse yet. If she posts and the advice is negative I'm going to be kicking myself. So I don't know. Its going to sound incredibly selfish but I have to do protect myself too. My wife is eating and seems to be doing okay but I will check up on her and make sure she is taking care of herself. She is usually very responsible and I imagine everything is fine.

I have a lot of reading to do and I'm going to work on putting OW out of my mind. That is a lot of it. I thought I didn't care about her and the truth is I am more attached to her than I thought I was. My wife asked about OW last week but dropped that talk. OW has still been making occasional contact but its gone unanswered on my part. I did read the articles you all mentioned and I know for us to have a chance OW has to gone. Its not fair to BW to have to compete and I do understand that. Right now my mindset is comparing BW to OW and that isn't fair. I really do appreciate everyone's advice. Thank You.

- Noah

[This message edited by CheaterNoah at 2:10 AM, November 30th (Friday)]

CheaterNoah

When I found out about FWH's first OW in 1988 (EA/PA?? I don't know). I was pregnant with our second child. I was devastated and he assured me they were "Just Friends". Lied and denied. Minimised. Promised the world but continued on his self centred ways. Couldn't understand why I couldn't "get over it".

I miscarried.

20 years later (May 2010) I found out about his other OWs.

At two weeks out I hated my FWH. I fantasised about killing him and/or his OWs. Then I thought about suicide. Didn't matter much to me. I just wanted to get rid of the pain.

I tried to tough it out.

At 5 weeks from dday I had a heart attack.

I am not committed enough or strong enough to just get nothing from her and just keep battling for us on my own. It has to be us both as a team. That is why things went wrong before.

I'm really not trying to play this sympathy game either. She is pregnant and the BS;

I am beginning to doubt I have the strength to take this. I was unhappy before but at least I had OW

As a BS I cannot say what I think. But I do know that serious help is needed here. Former Waywards please explain this to him.

CheaterNoah is in danger of losing his wife.

Her silence frightens me.

Laura

Noah, you won't like this, but... IMO your posts just shout "poor me". Count up how many times you talk about yourself. I say this not to belittle you, but to point out how you come across.

You seem far more concerned about how this affects you than the damage you've done to your wife and your marriage.

You have detonated your marriage and destroyed life for your wife as she knew it, and she had no say in it, no choice, and no ability to protect herself, and you're crying "poor me" because she can't talk to you at the moment.

Don't expect anything from her at this stage.

If you have any genuine desire to R with your wife, you need to develop and show care, loving actions, endless understanding, limitless patience and give her time to process what has happened to her life... there are no short cuts, stop looking for them.

Added to which, she is carrying your child, this should be one of the happiest times in her life, one of sharing bring a child into your world together, but what has she got? heartbreak, pain, despair, it couldn't possible be worse timing. For heaven's sake, give her time.

IMHO, at the moment, you feel regret, not remorse, the fact that you could actually type out that at least during your affair you had "love" from the OW... understand that this was not love, it was limmerance, lust, infatuation, ego stroking and the rush of feel-good hormones...

Please, give her time, stop demanding, you won't "understand" your BW until you stop thinking about yourself and focus on her.

[This message edited by hard_yards at 7:09 AM, November 30th (Friday)]

CN,

You seem to view your marriage as a "what's-in-it-for-me" type of thing, not in a loving or giving manner.

This is bothersome on many levels, and likely is part of what made an affair attractive to you.

Bottom line: you're still only looking out for YOU and what YOU GET out of things, not what you can give and certainly not empathizing what other people need, especially your BW.

Her world is shattered and you're moping because you aren't getting what you want.

Sad.

Here's what you've said:

Its just been so difficult because she has not given me anything. There has been nothing positive at all.

I think we both deserve to be with people who care about us and if she really feels nothing than there is nothing to save.

Right now, I'm sure she both wants to geld you with a blunt and rusty knife AND ask you to stay AND never see you again. Her emotions go from extreme to extreme. You don't see them because she cannot feel emotionally safe with you.

Do you understand that she no longer feels emotionally secure with you? Why should she tell you anything about herself when you callously ignored her feelings repeatedly by engaging in an affair.

Two weeks is a drop in the bucket compared to the work that will be required to heal your marriage. Are you in it for the long haul? Can you suck it up and give without the expectation of getting? Can you put the marriage first, ahead of yourself?

A true reconciliation does require the WS to do much of the work in the early stages. This is because the BS needs to feel some modicum of security and safety before they are comfortable engaging and giving back. Are you prepared to do that?

Cat

I would imagine the pregnancy might make her react differently than some. If know if I had found out when I was pregnant, I likely would have tried very hard to put it out of my mind just to protect the pregnancy.

I think she may have just gone very deeply into self-preservation mode and ignoring you may be part of her way of protecting herself and your baby-to-be.

Carrying a child is a very bonding experience for most women and their partners. I'm guessing it has not been for the two of you. You likely have been distant during her pregnancy and now she likely feels that she doesnt' know who you are at all.

Please be gentle with her. She needs you to start giving, which you cannot have been doing while "in love" with another woman. Try to start now. Good luck.

Noah, my DDay was in June. I told BH that it was ALL up to him. If he wanted this marriage, he needed to prove it to me because otherwise I was walking. He is kind of like you - looking to others to lead him or give him cues on how to feel and behave. And I am kind of like your BW. I was numb and didn't speak to him for a week. And you know what? He floundered for a while, probably for about five of the past six months. Not really trying to think of me before anyone else, especially himself.

You are being very selfish. And I wonder if you understand what it means to be un-selfish? You have not gotten rid of the car because you care more about yourself than her. You are not comfortable pointing her here because you care more about yourself than her. Could you just try an experiment and present a scenario in which you care more about your BW than yourself?

I am almost six months out. I have not worn a wedding ring since DDay, and have not told my BH that I love him. He has not earned that yet. And he is working waaaay harder than you are.

Good luck Noah. I hope you wake up in time.