SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

An IT guy came into my office on Monday and holy crap did I have a reaction. He just blew me away. I find him very attractive, he's kind of geeky, but hey, so am I) and soft spoken and well, I could gush for hours.

I did some reconnaissance work with the help of very credible people and found that he is not married, nor is he dating anyone. He doesn't wear a wedding ring but you never know.

I found him on FB and Linked In too. Remember how, when I went to parenting class there was a guy I knew? Well IT Guy is FB friends with Parenting Class guy. Small world!!!

Anyway, I have not been able to get him out of my mind. My question is, how do I let him know I'd be interested in getting to know him? I have been making eye contact when I see him. I share my office with my boss and another co-worker, so I can't be obviously flirty if he should come to the office for something IT related.

What would you do? Friend request him on FB? Send him an email? Roam the halls of my office building hoping to randomly run into him?

I could certainly start having a lot of computer problems and ask that the tickets be assigned to him.

Help a girl out here!

Here is a crazy idea.

You have the means to contact him.. Ask him out.

Like, just an out of the blue email or FB message? Saying maybe do you want to grab a drink after work?

I could certainly start having a lot of computer problems and ask that the tickets be assigned to him.

This is how my mom got my dad. It was way back in the days of typewriters. She worked at a bank and hers had broken. My dad was the one who came out to fix it. She started intentionally breaking her typewriter so he would have to come back and fix it. Finally he asked her out.

I wouldn't FB friend him, that might be alittle bit weird how you found his page. But you could always send him an email. Maybe start out just with an email about an IT issue and see if you can carry the conversation on.

Like, just an out of the blue email or FB message? Saying maybe do you want to grab a drink after work?

Well yeah. Exactly like that.

Is there still some unwritten rule that the guy always has the burden of asking?

No, the guy isn't obligated to ask first.

This will take a lot of courage.

I agree with asking him out. Either in person (if you can get him alone) or through FB. If his profile wasn't hard to find, then it's not creepy to ask him out that way. But if it took more than basic search on the facebook toolbar, you might want to focus on in person.

This will take a lot of courage

Welcome to our world. :P

~20years ago I had a woman I barely knew hand me a coffee and asked me to join her for an late afternoon walk on the waterfront. Once the initial shock wore off I was all in.

No, his name was the first that popped up when I searched.

And, point taken Maxiom.

Ask him to go down to the cafeteria and get a Coke with you. Then just chat and have a conversation. Worked for me.

FB request with a note: "Hey IT guy, I just got a friend suggestion because you are friends with Parenting Class Guy. It's kinda funny after just seeing you in the office."

I was going to suggest either what jpapa said (you can totally fake a friend suggestion!) or else something like, "Hey ITGuy! I hope it's not too creepy that I found you on facebook, but you seem cool and I love getting to know new people. I wondered if you'd be interested in grabbing a drink or a cup of coffee sometime." - which is pretty much exactly what I would personally send.

AMA and J, that is so freaking perfect. Thank you for the input!

Just keep us updated, mmmkay?

Aside from all the excellent suggestions you have received I wanted to offer you some advice from the other side of the line.

Being an IT guy, manning the helpdesk and being sole support at times some of the young ladies would have requests for "silly" problems. None of the computers would work because someone had turned the plug socket off!

Then you just say "oh IT guy fixed it for me the other day can you just send him down i'm sure it would be quicker". Then just thank him for his help, and tell him you owe him a drink for helping you out and take it from there.

*cough* well thats what worked on me anyway....

I really appreciate the input SP!

I am so freaking worked up over this that I'm even irritated at myself. Good lord!

I am doing the friend request thing at 4:30. I need time to work up the courage

spareparts, I'm also in IT and I was going to suggest the very same thing.

Seriously, we hear a lot of bitching day in and day out. Appreciation and an offer of a soda would be welcomed... especially from a nice girl like yourself.

Well, here's a suggestion from an old lady from the dark ages of typewriters and teletype.

35 yrs ago I had a similar 'OMG, I'm in love' reaction to H when I first met him at work. I batted eyelashes for awhile, pretended to 'need help' with various things at work, and after several weeks and he didn't ask me out, I just walked up to him and said, "hey suga, are you ever going to ask me out"? He looked like he was going to faint!

HA HA HA HA!!! Love the stories!

I am watching and learning nutmeg!