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Ideas Thread: Getting the word out!

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Deeply Scared posted 4/17/2006 12:30 PM

This thread is for the purpose of Porcupine's SI book idea.



porcupine posted 4/17/2006 12:52 PM

Thank you, DS!

[This message edited by Deeply Scared at 9:31 AM, April 8th (Tuesday)]

father of 4 posted 4/17/2006 14:58 PM

That is a highly aggressive schedule you have put together there Porcupine!

Great idea! I would certainly be interested in helping out!


damncutekitty posted 4/17/2006 15:08 PM

This is SUCH a cool idea.

I'd love to help out.

divinelioness posted 4/17/2006 15:13 PM

oops... didn't mean to post to a sticky thread... will pm my comment instead.

[This message edited by divinelioness at 3:47 PM, April 17th (Monday)]

LizXJS posted 4/17/2006 19:26 PM

I'm in...all in!!

My birthday is in September...what better present!

curiousgeorge posted 4/18/2006 07:34 AM

I think we need stories from people with different types of affairs.

1. The 100% remorseful WS with a successful reconciliation.

2. Infidelity with a serial cheater.

3. Infidelity where a OC is involved.

4. Infidelity as an exit affair.

5. Infidelity with a fence sitter who refuses to make a choice.

6. Infidelity through the eyes of children.

7. Infidelity with sex addicts.

8. Infidelity before marriage, e.g., a fiancee.

9. Infidelity with no children involved.

10. Infidelity during pregnancy.

11. Infidelity during an illness.

12. Infidelity between gay couples.

13. Infidelity where the WS is gay and the BS is straight.

This is just a list I'm making off the top of my head.


[This message edited by curiousgeorge at 7:36 AM, April 18th (Tuesday)]

KhristinaC posted 4/18/2006 09:43 AM

Also Infidelity from someone who's been on BOTH sides of the fence... A WS/BS

ToddC posted 4/18/2006 15:12 PM


I will tackle number 11 on your list. It may take me a while however but I will start.

How many words should each of our stories be?

getnbetter posted 4/18/2006 15:22 PM

This is a great idea!

I think that a chapter should be for those who choose not R or have no choice as well (in terms of healing and recovery). I love curiousgeorge's ideas, just wanted to add another for consideration.

Let me know if I can help.

DownNotOut posted 4/18/2006 15:30 PM

Here's another one:

Infidelity in the military.

I know there are several of us who are either in the military or with someone who is.

porcupine posted 4/18/2006 16:55 PM

We can work further on this chapter structure. What I would like is for each person who "takes on" a chapter to compile stories of other members and blend them into a coherent collection within their chapter.

An idea could be (brainstorming here): pick a chapter, start by sketching out your own story and imbricate quotes from other members into your story to enrich it, create a new dimension...

First step: agree on a structure (titles, content) and on a tone-of-voice and chapter mechanism
Second: find volunteers for each chapter
Third: volunteers compile testimonies of other members and write their chapter
Fourth: a "chief editor" and myself stand by the whole process to ensure coherence...

So please continue to PM or post your ideas of ways to structure the book and volunteer if you feel up to a coordinating role!

Lessa posted 4/19/2006 02:30 AM

I would like to see a chapter on Internet Infidelity - Including EA's and EA's leading to PA's that start innocently and on deliberate trawling for PA/Casual/Cyber Sex on Dating Sites. It is SUCH a growing problem nowadays and one which isn't covered much in existing books on the subject.

porcupine posted 4/21/2006 05:08 AM

A LOT of you have voluntered as editor for different chapters.
Still no sign of a chief editor though, but I think we can still move forward and start putting ideas together. Let's see how far we get...

A few of you had the same idea of structuring the book in the same way SI is structured. The forums could serve as the main sections in the book, and within each section we could define different chapters.

For example:

Section One- Introduction

Section Two-Just Found Out
Chapter 1: Types of A's
- PA
- EA
- sex addicts
- online affairs

Chapter 2: Finding out- Confession , Suspicion/confrontation, Being blindsided.

Chapter 3: Initial Reactions- BS/WS Physical reactions
BS/WS Emotional reactions

Chapter 4: Decisions!- Recon?, Divorce?,Separation?Fence sitting, Limbo.

Chapter 5: frequently asked questions-
#1 question - WHY?!
Should I contact OP?
Should I tell OP spouse?
Who should I tell?

Chapter 6: Coping skills- Taking care of you.

Section Three- General
- Dealing with a fence sitting WS
- OC
- A during pregnancy
- A during illness
- A in specific careers: military, police...
- gay couples
- BS is straight, WS has an A with same-sex OP

Section Four- Recon
- recon techniques
- IC/MC/Retrouvaille
- timeline
- false reconciliations

Section Five - Wayward
- NC
- Feelings for OP
- the fog
- understanding why
- how to help your BS
- ...

Section Six - Investigation

Section Seven- Inspirations

Section Eight- Divorce

Section Nine - Books that help

Section Ten- Humor in healing

Thanks to all of you who sent in ideas, I tried to compile them here so we can start to move on...

Let me know what you think!

[This message edited by porcupine at 5:10 AM, April 21st (Friday)]

Minigirl posted 4/21/2006 11:31 AM

I think we should also include a section under Wayward: Who is the OP?

We have several OP who post in Wayward that could help to define who that person is in the affair.

HurtinPhx posted 4/21/2006 12:16 PM

This is a really AWESOME idea!!! I want to help out, but I don't know where to begin...

SacredSoul posted 4/21/2006 17:20 PM

I'm really excited about this. Ideas are flitting about in my brain...

really trying posted 4/21/2006 17:29 PM

I want to help too.

seashells posted 4/23/2006 02:45 AM

Raising my hand, here - as well ...

LOVE this idea ! ! ! ! !


amsobetrayed posted 4/23/2006 03:58 AM

Love the idea, let me know if I can help..either from the military viewpoint or internet, encounted both unfortunately.

porcupine posted 4/23/2006 14:56 PM

Hi all,
A quick update:

I am sorting through all the great ideas and offers for help I have received.

There are 2 people who have volunteered for Chief Editor. I think we could actually use more than one pair of hands for the job, so I'll put them in touch and see if the three of us can come up with a common vision.

A lot of people also volunteered to contribute in one way or another, either by telling their story or being in charge of one of the chapters.
Getting the chapters divided is going to be hard work, so I need to know what areas each of you is interested in. If you haven't already specified, please let me know :)

I am keeping a record of every PM and post in a spread sheet, so I know exactly who has volunteered for what :)

If you are comfortable with it, please PM me your email address for ease of communication...

I hope once we get the roles sorted we can pick up speed and move ahead!

More news soon,

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