SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Anybody have a copy of one? lol

Seriously...I have read everything in the guidelines and library but is there a post somewhere that has a "cliffnotes" version?

We can put one together right here!

Listen carefully for the following statements:

I love you, but I'm not "in love" with you.

Trans: I'm all hot over a new piece of ass.

I never meant to hurt you.

Trans: How the hell did you find out?

We never had sex.

Trans: Because you have no real proof, right?

Okay, SIers, help with the manual.

They meant nothing to me.

Translation: I'm hoping this will mean nothing to you.

If I wasn't happy I would have left you along time ago.

Trans. I'm gonna cheat on you as much as I can until you catch me and then I'll say "I don't know why I did it"

After I called the OW a slut, a whore, and a homewrecker, my WH said "She's not like that"

Trans. She's a great piece of ass and is available to me morning, noon, and night for an easy and quick fuck

I didn't have sex with her, we are just friends who go out for drinks

Trans: The sex is great and we really like each other!

We're just friends. (I am screwing somebody all the time.)

It didn't mean anything. (I am a selfish lying bastard.)

It's over, I ended it. (Oh oh, now I am really fucked.)

Please stop asking me about it. (So I can keep it going as long as I want.)

You have to start trusting me sometime. (I really need to see OP - NOW!)

I felt unloved. (I have the biggest, neediest fucking ego of anyone in the world.)

This has been the darkest period of my life. (And MY feelings are SOOOO much more important than yours.)

ok, that's just for starters.

The OW is really not like that...she constantly talked about how this wasn't right with God (translation...I like to screw people who use God as an excuse to get attention and to get my WS to pursue her when she is not getting the attention she wants)

She's really nice. (Oh god, please don't tell anyone I was in love with a prostitute!)

She liked me for a long time. (I am SO the shit!)

Face it, none of this would have happened if not for the OTHER problems around here. (There is NO WAY I am going be accountable for my actions. Never have been, never will be.)

You haven't come near me in a year. (I haven't come near YOU in a year.)

I KNEW you'd get a spy on me. (Your snooping is SOOO much worse than my cheating and lying.) (alternatively: I hate that you outsmarted me.)

Let's try to work this out together. (But you do all the work, k sweetie?)

"We can work this out"

(It's no big deal to me and I'm basically over it, so why don't you just get over it now too)

"I don't want to lose you"

(I didn't know what you were really worth until you threatened to leave me- now I'm scared)

"I had a weak moment"

(I give in very easily to sexual advances)

"I can change"

(I don't really know what I mean by that, but it sounds good)

"I promise it won't happen again"

(I broke a promise once already- but I think I mean it this time)

"She/He meant nothing to me, I don't even know his/her name!"

(If it wasn't important to me, it shouldn't be so important to you)

"People make mistakes"

(This mistake can easily be compared to other mistakes such as forgetting a birthday or mixing colors with whites in the laundry)

"Let's start over"

(I'm out of excuses, so just forget about what I did and let's move on)

"I can earn your trust back!"

(If by tomorrow you haven't given full trust back to me, I will be very upset at your snooping around and second guessing me all the time)

"His/Her name and any information about them isn't important"

(I still care for them and don't want you to do anything to tick them off)

"Are YOU cheating on ME?"

(I quite possibly have in the past or currently am cheating on you)

"We're just friends/co-workers"

(who also happen to have amazing sex along with a deep emotional connection"

"I need YOU"

(the possibilities of her/him staying with me are slim and I need somebody)

"I'm not sure how I feel about them. I don't know if I want to be with them or you"

(I eat lots of cake. I'm a cake-eater. I want the excitement of them and the stability of you- so I am keeping you in a constant state of limbo so that I always have you to fall back on if this new thing doesn't end up working out. Think of yourself now as my backup plan, but don't complain about it.)

"It's only happened (insert number higher than 5) times this year"

(I'm either addicted to sex or have very low self esteem and quite possibly very little respect for you or myself)

"We used protection every time"

(We should probably both get checked for STD's, Honey)

"Our relationship has been really rocky lately"

(Working on this with you would require too much work on my part, so I went shopping for someone new instead)

"You never wanted to have sex anymore! You drove me to the other man/woman!"

(I'm only concerned with myself and my needs, not yours in that department or have forgotten how to masturbate)

"Things are different since we started having children"

(You couldn't get back to a size 3 one week after having our fourth child)

"You're so angry and sad all the time now"

(I'm not supportive of the feelings you're having as a result of my betraying you)

"I needed some space- you were smothering me"

(I'm immature and cannot handle the responsibilities of being an adult- My personal wants and needs are the only thing important to me at this time)

[This message edited by Drowning at 2:28 AM, January 1st (Monday)]

Wow, everyone took mine. HEre's another few:

"I need time alone right now" - I need time alone with OM/OW. Don't bug us, it's rude.

"I feel so drawn to him/her" . . . at the pelvis.

"You need to recognize how torn I feel." - It's hard to juggle 2 people, stop pressuring me to uphold my wedding vows.

"You just have to trust me!" - "Cuz I ain't never gonna tell you the truth."

"If you would have been a better wife I would have never done anything like that"

(I am selfish and still would have done it, because I'm an ass)

You keep bringing it up over and over

Trans.-I can't talk about it because I know I f**ked up.

You are so paranoid.

Trans.-Don't pay so close attention to me, you might catch me again.

I won't call her again.

Trans.-I will erase each call from my cell so you won't know about it.

I'll be back later.

Trans.-good night, you gullible fool.

Hope this helps.

Now why is there really NOT a manual? Hard copy should be legally required reading before ever getting married!

Everyone took mine!! Except I also got these:

"You were always so unsupportive of me."

trans - You refused to turn your mind to "off" when something didn't add up, or was a bad idea.

"They weren't prostitutes. They were ESCORTS."

trans - "I'm so f'd in the head that I don't make any sense anymore. This should tell you everything you need to know."

When I asked is she a prostitute: "It's not that simple. She has guys that give her money but she never asked me for anything."

Trans. - Yeah. She's a whore.

Don't forget..

"I never meant to hurt you" (because I thought I was so careful that you would never find out)

"She doesn't mean anything to me, it was very impersonal" (She thinks I'm going to leave you and be with her forever)

I'm not leaving the children...I'm just leaving you.

Translation...as soon as I get the hell out of here you will be hard pressed to get me to see or even phone the kids...and as for child support ...I'll see you in court baby!

You didn't pamper me enough.

Translation...she gives a great BJ and I just have to lie there.

[This message edited by betterdaysahead at 8:17 AM, January 1st (Monday)]

"I was lost" - I wanted to see how long I could get away with it without getting caught.

"It wasn't me" - I need some excuse for what I did.

"It didn't have anything to do with you or your personal appearance" - I was bored and tired of the same old piece of ass and needed something different and exciting.

"I am refocused, recommitted, reconnected, I've found levels of love I never knew existed before" - I knew this would KILL you so I figured it was better to lie. I took you for granted and now that I've been snitched on, I have to save my ass from being homeless, family-less, lifeless.

You are such a great wife and mother and I never knew how good I had it

Trans: YOu are such an idiot that I knew you were gonna take me back time and time again

Here's a few that I heard/hear, what he really meant is in parenthesis:

"It had nothing to do with you." (I got sick of looking at your 50 yr.old ass, so I have to get off on nubile 18 yr. olds so I can build my ego.)

"I never thought you'd find out." (I had you tricked for so many years, I thought I could get away with anything.)

"You are the only woman I ever really loved, they(porn stars) don't mean anything to me." (Oh, but I'd still really like to fuck all of them instead of you.)

"I always came home to you, didn't I?" (Yeah, you were good to wash my drawers, work full-time, cook, clean, do yard work and raise our boys, so why the hell wouldn't I come home?)

"We would get along so much better if you didn't have so many issues over this and if you would stop bringing it up all of the time." (I just made some mistakes and you are making a big deal out of all of this. It's all your fault.)

"She never wanted to hurt you" = She wanted you out of the picture because she liked that I had money and paid her rent, bought her a car, and all she had to do was act like I was the sexiest thing since sliced bread even though I'm fat and forty.