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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Spouses/Partners Of Sex Addicts
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Default  Posted: 6:06 PM, April 2nd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For spouses/partners that are personally dealing with Sex Addicts.

Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
pebbles
♀ Member
Member # 13870
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, April 2nd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We learned through therapy that my WH is a sex addict.


In a way I was relieved that we finally had a name for what he was doing.


me: BS
Dday 7/23/05
This former rock has been blasted into a mound of pebbles.

Posts: 1283 | Registered: Mar 2007
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Happy  Posted: 11:52 PM, April 2nd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm happy to see the new forum and new thread! I hope everyone migrates over for a fresh start here.

My FWH is a SA. He is in recovery and sexually sober since August '06.

I still struggle, quite a lot actually, but it really is a roller coaster, I also have really good days.

[This message edited by 7yrsbetrayed at 5:27 PM, April 4th (Wednesday)]


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
unicornsearcher
♀ Member
Member # 912
Cool  Posted: 12:33 AM, April 3rd (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought it would be nice to have some intro questions so we could get a snapshot of our situations & to get to know new posters:

1. How long has your WS been a sex addict, have you known, & what are they doing to deal with that (SA, etc)?

When busted after he cheated this last Nov, he admitted being a SA. He has definitely was compulsive but neither our therapist or I have gotten any details on the history of it etc. He has been attending SA mtgs & plans to continue doing that as well as therapy.

2. How does your SA act out & how much verifying do you do?

His preference when busted is with strip clubs & online porn. He had a LTA with OW after similar behavior escalated as he was doing 11/06. So real life encounters are what he’s after, not just online / masturbation stuff. From what I know there is no history of this or any sort of cheating up to then but was working on hard to make up for it.

First time took 4 yrs to bust him, last time 4 wks. Since he was with me practically 24/7 since then, I have periodically verified his computer stuff, bank & cell records. Now he is going to be working / living long distance from me so we're still working out how I will be able to check what I need to when I need to.

3. Has the SA had relapses / slips?

Not since he admitted in 12/06 that I know of.

4. Do you have kids?
No, just furbabies.

5. Brief description of what brought you to SI?

WS had one main lust of his life for 4 yrs when I busted him via an email / pix, with dating profiles, visiting strip clubs, phone sex. Has been "foggy" ever since & this last Nov when working at same job he just restarted, again cheated, now claims to be a "sex addict".

He spent a ton that we couldn't afford in strip clubs, had one stripper to to breakfast with him, picked up viagra & condoms, set up a dating profile claiming to be "newly single" but hadn't paid yet to be able to get or send messages while claiming to be significantly younger, had dinner with another woman (told her he was "separated"), called those 2 plus someone else to see them again.

He claims he doesn't want a divorce but has had great difficult showing that in actions on a consistent daily basis. I would prefer not to get a divorce but significant changes would need to happen to make this marriage work in a healthy constructive way.

6. What would you say are the biggest barriers to reconciliation / recovery?

WS has long term abuse issues from childhood & long term marriage with (according to him) serial cheater (he claims he was faithful to her).

He disconnected & hasn't been able to really connect with me or the marriage since.

His lack of radical honesty; lack of empathy for me; lack of understanding about the betrayal trauma (despite having gone thru it himself); too many bandaid / token efforts sporadically instead of deep rooted remorseful consistent, daily actions; lack of following thru on promises; his unjustified anger / withdrawal / stonewalling / gaslighting, making unilateral decisions that affect me.

On my side, I'm crushed beneath all the betrayals & lies, angry as hell about what he's done that he shouldn't have while not doing what he should & have hope equivalent to that of a snowballs chance in hell.

We would besides dealing with all the betrayal issues devastation, have to get back into the habit of loving & being loved in a healthy partnership way.

7. Would you say you had a good relationship prior to the cheating & what made it that way?

There were obvious issues with "little white lies" & communication before he DDay. We have had a great relationship early on but has been not just eroded but devatated by his crappy choices. We were best friends, extremely compatible, greatly enjoyed spending time together & had a very passionate physical relationship once upon a time.

That all started to disappear when the cheating came into play & never regained since. That is heart breaking to both of us, but he thinks if I just get over it, put the past behind us without working on the issues that brought us here, everything would be great again. I obviously disagree with that assessment.

8. Current status?

Married with no divorce ever filed, have been separated previously after DDay but lived together without any significant progress. We have really been just in a sort of limbo / new damage hell for now. He has always SAID he's committed to salvaging our marriage, but been unable to prove it by actions. Time will tell...

Also guys, could you please make liberal use of the space bar for paragraphs? Cuz I know my swiss cheese brain has can't follow long paragraphs anymore.


11/02 Busted WH 4+ cheating yrs, 11/06 Busted [Month Long Lustfest]. 2/1/08 admits false version of betrayals, so no full disclosure / "whole truth" yet. '09 Together, great work in progress. '12 Still gladly united.

Posts: 14209 | Registered: Jan 2003 | From: Calif
pebbles
♀ Member
Member # 13870
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, April 3rd (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Most of his adult life. He's in therapy now.

2.No verifying. He has to want to stop on his own. I've never been able to so I give up.

3.Not that I no of.

4.We have 2 grown sons. They were never exposed to what there dad was doing.

5. What brought me to SI is the A. It has been a real struggle for me because it hurt me down to my soul.

6.Biggest barrier is when any woman is present when I'm with him. I get major anxiety attacks. I've been diagnosed with PTSD and am getting therapy with EMDR.

7.The marriage was a good one with the exception of his obsession with other women. I thought that I was just some jealous freak.

8.We are still married at this time. He's very remorseful for what he has done to me. Right now he is the one holding us together.


me: BS
Dday 7/23/05
This former rock has been blasted into a mound of pebbles.

Posts: 1283 | Registered: Mar 2007
pebbles
♀ Member
Member # 13870
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, April 3rd (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Most of his adult life. He's in therapy now.

2.No verifying. He has to want to stop on his own. I've never been able to so I give up.

3.Not that I no of.

4.We have 2 grown sons. They were never exposed to what there dad was doing.

5. What brought me to SI is the A. It has been a real struggle for me because it hurt me down to my soul.

6.Biggest barrier is when any woman is present when I'm with him. I get major anxiety attacks. I've been diagnosed with PTSD and am getting therapy with EMDR.

7.The marriage was a good one with the exception of his obsession with other women. I thought that I was just some jealous freak.

8.We are still married at this time. He's very remorseful for what he has done to me. Right now he is the one holding us together.


me: BS
Dday 7/23/05
This former rock has been blasted into a mound of pebbles.

Posts: 1283 | Registered: Mar 2007
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, April 3rd (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure if I belong here or not since H is in denial, but self-recovery? Weird shit!

1. How long has your WS been a sex addict, have you known, & what are they doing to deal with that (SA, etc)?

H's problem began with prostitutes in 1994. He added a LTA (free whore) to the mix somewhere in the middle and ended all of the other women sex in 2001. (His timetable, I have no verification except lack of evidence).

2. How does your SA act out & how much verifying do you do?

My H now acts out (MBs) with porn, VS catalogs, my Shape Magazine, anything with the female form. No computer, no real women. Avoids sexual intimacy with me when he's doing this.

3. Has the SA had relapses / slips?

No women, but after a prolonged period of being "good" about not viewing porn, self-love etc, he's acting out again since becoming unemployed. Too much time on his hands.

4. Do you have kids? Two young adults.

5. Brief description of what brought you to SI?

Discovery of the LTA and more evidence of his use of prostitutes when he lied about his whereabouts in 8/05 and I busted him. Confession came 3 weeks after starting MC believing he had started cheating on me.

6. What would you say are the biggest barriers to reconciliation / recovery?

Long term undiagnosed depression, self-esteem issues, continued lies, non disclosure of affair information, "sweep it under the rug" attitude, lack of empathy, blameshifting, gaslighting, # of women, kind of women, length of affair period, his paralysis about moving toward me, his admission that he only lets me into 25% of who he is. His lack of vulnerability, his assumptions, his "jabs", his voice, his breathing, his sleeping, his lack of ambition, his hair, clothes, his weakness, his anger, his profession, his lack of boundaries with women, the way he "people-pleases" except with his family.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
Queeny4082
♀ Member
Member # 5903
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, April 3rd (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. How long has your WS been a sex addict, have you known, & what are they doing to deal with that (SA, etc)?
My H has been acting out since his teens. It wasn't until D-Day (Nearly 3 years ago) that I found out. We also learned about SA shortly after. He'd never had a name for what he was doing. We've done MC, IC, and a twelve step program.

2. How does your SA act out & how much verifying do you do?
My H acts out through compulsive masterbation, internet porn, phone and cyber sex, as well as meeting his phone/cyber sex partners in person. I really don't do any verifying any more. I believe he is sober.

3. Has the SA had relapses / slips?
He's been clean and sober since shortly after D-Day in Nov. 2004.

4. Do you have kids?
Two wonderful dogs.

5. Brief description of what brought you to SI?
While doing a routine computer check I came across some disturbing emails. I quickly found more information and confronted my H. He denied he had done anything wrong. He claimed he had a crazy online stalker. He also told me he had been sexually abused as a child. I had no idea until that day.

Still not quite satisfied with his story of a crazy stalker, I hacked into his email and found the truth. He admitted everything. Which includes affairs with three women in person, cyber/phone sex with them and two others, as well as compulsive masterbation and anonymous online encounters over the years. I found SI w/i 24 hours.

6. What would you say are the biggest barriers to reconciliation / recovery?
If you're lucky enough to have a remorseful spouse who acknowledges his problem, the hardest part is helping him to heal from the trauma that contributed to the addiction in the first part. You're hurting so badly yourself, but you still have to help them deal with the past and do the hard work to stay sober.

7. Would you say you had a good relationship prior to the cheating & what made it that way?
At the time I would have said it was good. He seemed happy all the time, but it turns out that's not such a difficult thing to pull off when you're constantly anesthatizing yourself to actual emotions. It was all just an illusion. I believe we actually have now, what I thought we had before: True Intimacy.

8. Current status?
We've been in R since D-Day. We have a strong marriage and I don't regret forgiving him and starting over.


FBW- Me, 29 + 1
FWS- H, 33, SA and working hard in recovery

Forgiveness is giving up the HOPE that anything in the past could have been any different.


Posts: 1583 | Registered: Nov 2004
pebbles
♀ Member
Member # 13870
Default  Posted: 10:32 PM, April 3rd (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH should go to group therapy. All the groups in our area are mixed company.

I would rather he go to an all mens' group.

I don't trust a mixed company sex addict group.

What do you think?


me: BS
Dday 7/23/05
This former rock has been blasted into a mound of pebbles.

Posts: 1283 | Registered: Mar 2007
unicornsearcher
♀ Member
Member # 912
Cool  Posted: 11:22 PM, April 3rd (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh heck no I wouldn't be at all comfortable with a mixed SA group for long if at all. When people are carrying gasoline in their underwear, you don't have them sitting next to lighters...


11/02 Busted WH 4+ cheating yrs, 11/06 Busted [Month Long Lustfest]. 2/1/08 admits false version of betrayals, so no full disclosure / "whole truth" yet. '09 Together, great work in progress. '12 Still gladly united.

Posts: 14209 | Registered: Jan 2003 | From: Calif
sweets2u
Member
Member # 2409
Default  Posted: 4:43 AM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"When people are carrying gasoline in their underwear, you don't have them sitting next to lighters... " Unicorn! Totally agree.


With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26
Me: BS
Bubba WS,SA

Posts: 1840 | Registered: Oct 2003
sweets2u
Member
Member # 2409
Default  Posted: 5:42 AM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. How long has your WS been a sex addict, have you known, & what are they doing to deal with that (SA, etc)?
My husband,Bubba56,SSBubba (he used to post) has been a sex addict since he first got his hands on porn at about 12 years old. I found porn on his work computer,and realized that problem in June 2002, 10 months later,after daily questioning and searching for “the rest of the story”, he admitted to strip clubs,adult book stores,massage parlors,escorts and “leering” at women in public places. That was April 2003, and he got into therapy with a Sexual Addiction counselor. He went for 1 ½ years, and “we” also went to MC’s who also dealt with SA issues. He is not in any program now and I suppose I am his “accountability” partner. He tells me when he is tempted. Temptation is not to go to strip clubs or sex workers, but masturbation and leering and a few times porn has been a temptation. Doesn’t really have a hard time with it, from what he tells me. Although he quit acting out right away, the lies about his past kept coming for a few years. It has been living hell. The lies causing so much more damage than what he did.
2. How does your SA act out & how much verifying do you do?
He doesn’t act out now, nor has he since therapy, unless you count a few times he masturbated or leered.I verify always. The lies he told have killed all trust.
3. Has the SA had relapses / slips?
No, not really.If he ever went to a strip club,sex worker of Adult Book store,I would divorce him. He has stated that it will never happen and he would expect me to divorce him if he did that. I don't think he'd respect me if I put up with that.
4. Do you have kids?
Yes, 4. Three are grown and have moved out, 1 middle school daughter still at home.He sat the 2 older ones down and told them about his problem and that Mom was not at fault for mood swings after dday.He apologized to them for any pain he may have caused them.
5. Brief description of what brought you to SI?
Was searching for someone to confide in about the hell I was living, just happened apon SI.One of the best things I've gotten from SI was confirmation that my reactions to the situation were normal, that I wasn't crazy.

6. What would you say are the biggest barriers to reconciliation / recovery?
The lying,minimizing,gaslighting and such has possibly damaged the marriage beyond repair of what is a happy marriage for me. He says he’s happy and seems to be. Not me.Also, he got cancer/NHL in 2005 and although in full remission, the prognosis is not good if and when it comes back. Dr. said it will most likely come back. So the stress of the uncertainty of living with a SA and his cancer is terrible. My sad little life.


7. Would you say you had a good relationship prior to the cheating & what made it that way?
Yes. Very good, we always got along good,best friends-the whole bit. We always put each others needs first. Family is important to both of us. He led his “other life” during work hours and is extremely good at compartmentalizing, so that he could come home at night and be the man he wanted all to see. His seedy side was well hidden.
8. Current status?
Just trying to find a way to trust him. Things are like before- before when he did his crap, before when there were no red flags. So I watch...carefully.I figure that the length of time he continued lying,has something to do with the length of time it takes to heal.

[This message edited by sweets2u at 5:45 AM, April 4th (Wednesday)]


With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26
Me: BS
Bubba WS,SA

Posts: 1840 | Registered: Oct 2003
1Forward1Back
♀ Member
Member # 11057
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. How long has your WS been a sex addict, have you known, & what are they doing to deal with that (SA, etc)?

My H has been a porn addict for as long as he can remember. I have known he looked at porn most of our married life. I thought it was a sporadic thing, to be honest. It all blew up last June when I discovered evidence of a 4 month affair with a woman he met on the internet. He tells me he started with real live women by joining Adult Friend Finders. He had ONSs with two other women before he met this one on Paltalk. We are in MC.

2. How does your SA act out & how much verifying do you do?

Looking at online porn. I do have access to all his accounts, but I'm tired of monitoring him. As they say, I can't control it or cure him. That's up to him. I'm getting on with my own life as much as I can. I know when he's doing it anyway; I can feel it. He gets more and more disengaged.

3. Has the SA had relapses / slips?

He struggles with not looking at porn every minute of every day. He says he literally feels withdrawal symptoms.

I have set boundaries. I know he's working on it. He is in counseling. If he acts out with an affair one more time, I'm gone.

4. Do you have kids?

2 grown children.

5. Brief description of what brought you to SI?

The discovery of the affair sent me reeling. I came here in a desperate attempt to understand how one gets over such a betrayal. I have progressed from focusing on the affair to recognizing the porn addiction is at the center of all this.

6. What would you say are the biggest barriers to reconciliation / recovery?

No question--his refusal to do *whatever it takes* to get clean. He claims he will do this, but I'm not totally convinced. He has a hard time dealing with feelings. He grew up with an alcoholic father and a disengaged mother. He learned to deal with his emptiness and pain through porn.

7. Would you say you had a good relationship prior to the cheating & what made it that way?

I think so. We have always enjoyed each other's company and worked together as parents etc. Looking back, we have had intimacy issues for some time. As is typical with SAs, I blamed myself primarily. He has had problems with ED and inability to achieve orgasm. We thought it was physiological. But hey, when you 'whack off' numerous times a day, you become incapable of doing so during real sex, non?

8. Current status?

We are in MC. I am working on getting on with my life and not focusing on him and his porn addiction. He has to do this himself. I'll be there for support, but I'm really tired of monitoring him.



Me: 60 Yrs. (BS)
Him: 60 Yrs.(FWH- life long sex addict)
-2 ONSs followed by an A-2005/06
-cheated while we were engaged
-seems to stray every 30 years or so
D-Day-June 10, 2006
Working on own recovery. His is his!
Married: 37 yrs. Grown ch

Posts: 966 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Canada
cocoabean
Member
Member # 76
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Re: same sex support groups. The only groups in our area are also mixed and husband's counseler refuses to send him to one. His counseler can't understand why anyone would bring together a group of female and male sex addicts. He thinks it is crazy.


“There are only two types of women - goddesses and doormats”
*Pablo Picasso*

"I am a goddess"
*Cocoabean*


Posts: 1637 | Registered: Jun 2002
pebbles
♀ Member
Member # 13870
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's what I thought.

I like the gasoline and lighter analogy.


me: BS
Dday 7/23/05
This former rock has been blasted into a mound of pebbles.

Posts: 1283 | Registered: Mar 2007
sager
♀ Member
Member # 173
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd like some input on telling children about the SA. My kids are 16, 14 and 12 1/2. When they ask about where my H is when he is at SLAA meetings I just say that "he is at his men's meeting, beating drums and talking about their feelings." We just have always been rather vague. But the kids read now ( ) and my daughter asked about a book that had been left in the bathroom about healing from sex addiction. So, do we share a sanitized version of his addiction? Is it something we do together? Do we talk to each child individually?

Would love to hear from others that have told their children about SA.

Sager

PS: I'm still working on answering Unicorn's questions. I've been doing SA for a really, really long time.....

[This message edited by sager at 2:48 PM, April 4th (Wednesday)]


married 21 yr.
d-day #1 8/17/01
d-day #2 7/9/11
3 children - 20, 18, and 16
H in addiction recovery
"Well-behaved women do not make history."

Posts: 1192 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: Upstate NY
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. How long has your WS been a sex addict, have you known, & what are they doing to deal with that (SA, etc)?

He says since he hit puberty. I have known since midway through the year he gaslighted me after Dday #1. He is in weekly IC with a sex addiction specific counselor and attending a weekly SA group meeting through his counselor's pracice. I see my IC every other week and we go to MC on my off weeks.

2. How does your SA act out & how much verifying do you do?

Currently, he is sexually sober. When he was acting out he compulsively: used online porn & masturbated, looked at online profiles (yahoo, AFF and others); online chat; and ultimately he met and had sex with 40 women over the course of 7 years. Our entire relationship. I closely monitor his computer usage.

3. Has the SA had relapses / slips?

None since his true sobriety date. (knock on wood)

4. Do you have kids?

A 3 yr old daughter and I may be PG again, don't know yet.

5. Brief description of what brought you to SI?

Google. Too brief? I was looking for support and none of the co-sex addict groups appealed to me. I am not a co-addict. We do have some co-denpendency issues but I'm not a co-addict and there is a huge difference.

6. What would you say are the biggest barriers to reconciliation / recovery?

No matter what he does, I'm not sure I will ever truly trust him again. Ever. That is really difficult. I also still have a great deal of anger that I need to deal with.

7. Would you say you had a good relationship prior to the cheating & what made it that way?

This is where my situation always greatly differs from others. I see people talk about their relationship prior to the cheating and they have that to look at and rebuild from. I don't. He lied to me from the moment he met me and cheated (ONS) within one month. I thought we had a good relationship for the first 4 or 5 years we were together but now I know he was lying and cheating that whole time so that kinda kills it, ya know?

8. Current status?

As stated above, he's in recovery and doing well and I'm coping the best I can. We're working on it.


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Exclaimation  Posted: 5:52 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As for mixed groups. Check them out. Odds are there are some or even one that has no women in it. The percentage of male to female sex addicts is way tipped toward male, like astronomically. I doubt that you'll find there are actually any women at all in the groups. They mix them because they don't want to exclude any women who might want to come but it's stupid to have a separate meeting when no one will show up. It can't hurt to actually check it out.


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
1Forward1Back
♀ Member
Member # 11057
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

7yrs...I agree with you. The literature talks about how many female sex addicts exist, but I am dubious about the stats. Perhaps it's less acceptable for women to admit it, but I'm wondering just how exact these statistics are.


Me: 60 Yrs. (BS)
Him: 60 Yrs.(FWH- life long sex addict)
-2 ONSs followed by an A-2005/06
-cheated while we were engaged
-seems to stray every 30 years or so
D-Day-June 10, 2006
Working on own recovery. His is his!
Married: 37 yrs. Grown ch

Posts: 966 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Canada
unicornsearcher
♀ Member
Member # 912
Cool  Posted: 10:36 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with not letting the fact that it's mixed alone stop you from checking it out at least. As was mentioned, there may not actually be any women that attend but the option is open for them.

I would call from a blocked phone if there is a number to call & if women have joined that group & ask how many women regularly show up.

I have to admit I'm not a huge fan of 12 step groups, but at least it's free & is a good starting point to stop the madness. I really like the 2 questions every RCA mtg started with too...


11/02 Busted WH 4+ cheating yrs, 11/06 Busted [Month Long Lustfest]. 2/1/08 admits false version of betrayals, so no full disclosure / "whole truth" yet. '09 Together, great work in progress. '12 Still gladly united.

Posts: 14209 | Registered: Jan 2003 | From: Calif
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