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Newest Member: Elizablue (43208)

I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Women
madseason
Member
Member # 13224
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

mkr - I am semi "on the verge of leaving". I keep telling my friends I'm on a five year plan!

On my 2nd d-day, his shit was packed and in the car and my mom, of all people, convinced me to let him stay. She said "don't let the paycheck walk out the door." Surprising advice from my mom. You'd have to know her.

Anyway, I'm stashing money and figuring out what I need to do to get my butt in school and get a degree. I have been a SAHM for almost 10 years now so I am getting my ducks in a row, so to speak, before I divorce him.


Lose my breath in waves
Knowing that every crash is bleeding the hourglass
And taking the stride
From all our lives

*Somewhere, far away from here, I saw stars. Stars that I could reach.*


Posts: 10283 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Southeast of Disorder
mkr543
♀ Member
Member # 12867
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess I'm fortunate that I only have myself (and my little dog) to worry about. I'm more on the five-month plan.

By the time the leaves leave, I think I will have as well.


Me:BS - 38
Him: FWH - 44
d-day: November 12, 2006

Too long a sacrifice can make stone of the heart. -William Butler Yeats


Posts: 1838 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: New England
madseason
Member
Member # 13224
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know that I would call you "fortunate". I mean, you're here aren't you?

I think that even if I didn't have the kids, I would still have a really difficult time leaving.

I don't like to be alone.

Saying this will probably bring out the 2X4's but, if I could replace him tomorrow with someone who would love me and the kids and take care of us financially, I would.


Lose my breath in waves
Knowing that every crash is bleeding the hourglass
And taking the stride
From all our lives

*Somewhere, far away from here, I saw stars. Stars that I could reach.*


Posts: 10283 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Southeast of Disorder
mkr543
♀ Member
Member # 12867
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess I'm fortunate that I only have myself (and my little dog) to worry about.

What I really meant by that was: I guess it's fortunate that I only have myself (and my little dog) to worry about.


Me:BS - 38
Him: FWH - 44
d-day: November 12, 2006

Too long a sacrifice can make stone of the heart. -William Butler Yeats


Posts: 1838 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: New England
once proud wife
♀ Member
Member # 12706
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Being a spineless chicken, I didn't insist on STD testing for my WH (as if he would have gone anyway) and have had unprotected sex with him over the last several months. My annual well-woman exam is due and I am wondering if I need to alert them in advance of my visit that I would like testing for common symptom-less STDs as a result of my WH's A. Also, do I need to specify the STDs? How is this supposed to work? Thanks. Glad we have a women's only board.


Me: BW (33)
Him: WH (34)
Together 17 years, married 5
Discovery started in late Aug '06 with major revelation mid Oct '06.
New DDay, new OW, mostly EA - 3/2/2008 (later figured out there were more women before we M)
Currently - still M

Posts: 737 | Registered: Nov 2006
Ivette
♀ Member
Member # 6884
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel so betrayed this morning when I was brushing my teeth looking in the mirror I ask myself why do I still deal with my stbxh. I am so hurt he destroyed me. He's cheated on me 3 times as far as I know. From the beginning of this marriage he was cheating on me and I took because I was sacred to be alone and to raise my daughter being a single parent. Know my daughter says to me you should left her dad along time ago. I said I'm sorry I didn't I should of. The other reason I don't know who my father is I was raised by my stepfather. I don't know what fatherly love is. I didn't want her to go thru that but know she is thats the sad part. I'm just so tired of the hurt daughter and I are going thru because of this infidelty.

Know he regrets it tells me he loves me so much. That he's not giving me the divorce that he won't find another woman like me why know. Because I'm the better person when he was without food and money he's a truck driver I sent him money because he didn't dare ask ow money that was his. I did it because I wouldn't let anyone starve.

I told him now you wake up or are you still sleeping when he said about not divorceing me.

Why is he realizing know what he's done and doing.

[This message edited by Ivette at 4:57 PM, April 4th (Wednesday)]


Rather have no company than bad company.

Posts: 1810 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: Massachusetts
stillhurting1
♀ Member
Member # 13564
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{HI}!!

May I join? Not that I really want to be a member, but hey, you gals seem rather nice!

Why cant we have beer and whiskey too?

I'm not on the verge of leaving, but lately I wonder if it wouldnt just be easier to and will I *EVER* get over this??


Me:36 BS
Him: 35 WS
2 kids: age 4 and 20 months
#3 due March 09

Finally had it. I want a D!!

How could I have lived with a liar and not known...


Posts: 372 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: NW
stillhurting1
♀ Member
Member # 13564
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once proud...

Before D-day I came down with BV. While I was humilated, I did ask my Gyno to test me for it all.

I didnt share the A knowledge (b/c at the time I really had no 100% proof) w/the Dr..but I did tell her I wasnt sure if my H has been faithful.
SHE then ordered all the tests.
Do it. You owe yourself that.


Me:36 BS
Him: 35 WS
2 kids: age 4 and 20 months
#3 due March 09

Finally had it. I want a D!!

How could I have lived with a liar and not known...


Posts: 372 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: NW
madseason
Member
Member # 13224
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once proud - when you make the appointment for your yearly, just tell them you wanted to be tested for anything and everything sexually transmitted.

Just to forewarn you, it is a humiliating thing to have to go through. To actually hear the words come out of your own mouth is horrid.

When i went for my testing, I cried the whole way there, I couldn't sit in the waiting room because I was sobbing, and I cried through the whole exam.

Hugs to you.


Lose my breath in waves
Knowing that every crash is bleeding the hourglass
And taking the stride
From all our lives

*Somewhere, far away from here, I saw stars. Stars that I could reach.*


Posts: 10283 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Southeast of Disorder
madseason
Member
Member # 13224
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ivette - i know exactly how you feel. I'm scared to death to be alone and be a single parent to my three boys.

But, at the same time, I know I *have* to.

There's nothing that says you have to throw him out tomorrow. If it's what you truly want, work out a plan and carry it through. It doesn't matter how long it takes.

Hugs to you.


Lose my breath in waves
Knowing that every crash is bleeding the hourglass
And taking the stride
From all our lives

*Somewhere, far away from here, I saw stars. Stars that I could reach.*


Posts: 10283 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Southeast of Disorder
madseason
Member
Member # 13224
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

stillhurting - I'm drinking whiskey as we speak.

Jack and coke to be exact. My drink of choice lately.


Lose my breath in waves
Knowing that every crash is bleeding the hourglass
And taking the stride
From all our lives

*Somewhere, far away from here, I saw stars. Stars that I could reach.*


Posts: 10283 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Southeast of Disorder
PlayItForward
♀ Member
Member # 13995
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey everyone. Count me in.

In R but struggling. Remorseful, but non-communicative WS, presumably formerly so, but who knows?


Me-53
FWH-56
Married 29 years
D-Day - October, 2005
LTA - 5 years; discovered by teenage son...oh yeah...
R - since 1/06...we're just playing the recovery forward as far as it will go.


Posts: 297 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: The Heart of Dixie
lra90
♀ Member
Member # 9281
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 18129 | Registered: Jan 2006
baltimore
♀ Member
Member # 13766
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, another place I belong....


Posts: 392 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: baltimore
madseason
Member
Member # 13224
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sad, ain't it Baltimore?


Lose my breath in waves
Knowing that every crash is bleeding the hourglass
And taking the stride
From all our lives

*Somewhere, far away from here, I saw stars. Stars that I could reach.*


Posts: 10283 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Southeast of Disorder
mkr543
♀ Member
Member # 12867
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ok, I know it's still morning, but how about I make us some nice Mango Martinis?? With umbrellas!!

For those of you that don't or can't drink....cheesecake!


Me:BS - 38
Him: FWH - 44
d-day: November 12, 2006

Too long a sacrifice can make stone of the heart. -William Butler Yeats


Posts: 1838 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: New England
madseason
Member
Member # 13224
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll take one and keep 'em coming.

I'm having a crap day.


Lose my breath in waves
Knowing that every crash is bleeding the hourglass
And taking the stride
From all our lives

*Somewhere, far away from here, I saw stars. Stars that I could reach.*


Posts: 10283 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Southeast of Disorder
mkr543
♀ Member
Member # 12867
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What's wrong, madseason? Anything specific or just everything??


Me:BS - 38
Him: FWH - 44
d-day: November 12, 2006

Too long a sacrifice can make stone of the heart. -William Butler Yeats


Posts: 1838 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: New England
madseason
Member
Member # 13224
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

See my post in General for the specifics.

I'm having one of those days where I am reading in the divorce forum just to remind myself of why I don't want to kick his sorry ass out of the house tonight.


Lose my breath in waves
Knowing that every crash is bleeding the hourglass
And taking the stride
From all our lives

*Somewhere, far away from here, I saw stars. Stars that I could reach.*


Posts: 10283 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Southeast of Disorder
mkr543
♀ Member
Member # 12867
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H won't "talk" to me unless he's drunk off his ass, and then I'm told how he's so sorry he's treated me like such shit and I'm so wonderful, just the best, yadda yadda. Sometimes he drunkenly informs me that HE'S not so bad himself.

Or if something happens and one of us "flips out" and there's "drama", then he'll talk about "things" in the aftermath. I hate drama! If I want some drama, there's Lifetime TV and I have Netflix. I don't fucking need it from my husband!

Other than that he has nothing to say about the A or about what's going on with us.

He's such a nutcase all of a sudden.


Me:BS - 38
Him: FWH - 44
d-day: November 12, 2006

Too long a sacrifice can make stone of the heart. -William Butler Yeats


Posts: 1838 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 319
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