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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: When Your Wayward Spouse/Partner Works With The Affair Person
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Coming to the Dark Side with you all...

No one knows about the A

How does this make you feel? I see emails a lot from his co-workers that have both their names...(they are *friendly* notes, not business related - spritual refs as they were both in a bible study together jokes and stuff like that) He says he doesn't think anyone knows what went on between them...

I swear the other day I was very close to responding to one of those emails and tell them to no longer send anything with BOTH their names... and suggest they ask HER why as she walks around with her head held high because her woose of a BH accepted her blame-shifting and my FWH feels like shit all the time...

And how can the co-workers not know? I mean the 2 were inseparable... coffee breaks, lunch together for years and now they avoid each other like the plague...


~L2HM~
Every Storm Runs out of Rain ~ Gary Allen

Posts: 5475 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They all think that they're descreet - they're not. They're idiots.

FWH is at a meeting today with FSOW. He told me that they just scheduled another one for tomorrow. (it's not just him and FSOW, it's their whole group, about 10-15 ppl). Ugggh. I fucking hate this. I'm going to go have another cigarette.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays - 1 was too many
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15133 | Registered: Jun 2006
stillhurting1
♀ Member
Member # 13564
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{Hurtbs}

Sometimes I think that if I were not pregnant, I'd take up smoking and drinking again. UGG is right.



They officially moved into the new office space this week and OW is there now too, I'm sure.
H hasnt mentioned anything about it and its killing me.
I wish I could go in disguise and see how the office is situated.
I just want to
Oh to be a fly on the wall, eh? I'd love that.


Me:36 BS
Him: 35 WS
2 kids: age 4 and 20 months
#3 due March 09

Finally had it. I want a D!!

How could I have lived with a liar and not known...


Posts: 372 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: NW
Emerald Eyes
♀ Member
Member # 7977
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How ya doing, hurtbs?

Posts: 1235 | Registered: Aug 2005 | From: Texas
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm still here. Another meeting tomorrow. he and I are going to have lunch at his office later this week. I'll survive. I've made it this far.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays - 1 was too many
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15133 | Registered: Jun 2006
sharim
♀ Member
Member # 11937
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, April 4th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with hurtbs - they all think noone knows but believe me EVERYONE does. I try to not let "cheated on wife" label get to me but I just hate it. Sometimes I think a lot of my issues is my pride - that I stay after this. If it weren't for the kids............

Posts: 1379 | Registered: Sep 2006
achingheart
♀ Member
Member # 9179
Default  Posted: 12:42 AM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone.
FWH works for the same place as the FOW, but his office was moved into another building after A was "found out".

He does have to go over to the other building occasionally for meetings, but has no reason to have any significant contact with her. Does have to walk past her desk to get to his bosses office, and if possible he goes when she is at lunch.

He has called to tell me whenever he has to go over there and if he even sees her.

I still worry about phone calls and lunch time rendezvous.
I hate this.


i wish you enough...

Posts: 366 | Registered: Dec 2005 | From: NorthVA, formerly FL
Emerald Eyes
♀ Member
Member # 7977
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sharim, you're right, everyone there knows. Mr. EE said no one did but I told him not to kid himself.

#1, she was only 23 - heck, she's probably writing his name and drawing puffy hearts around them. #2, at first she didn't know he was married and that she was supposed to keep it a secret.

I have no doubts that she gushed to all her little work buddies about him.


Posts: 1235 | Registered: Aug 2005 | From: Texas
casio
♀ Member
Member # 10668
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the people at his work knew five years ago when ow was jealous when my H talked to any other females at work. Today they avoid each other and hope nobody knows. what fools! When you make you bed you must lay in it.


casio

Posts: 56 | Registered: May 2006 | From: washington
NeverWillForget
♀ Member
Member # 7735
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Present.

Lucky2HaveMe: ditto on everything you said. I hate the emails with both their names in it!


Divorced!

Posts: 636 | Registered: Jul 2005
sharim
♀ Member
Member # 11937
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

#1, she was only 23 - heck, she's probably writing his name and drawing puffy hearts around them.

EE - you cracked me up with that. Today H and I are both working at home. I am holed up in my office and he is in his -- I'm getting a ton of stuff (this is my water cooler break) since I'm not all antsy about him being at the office. I wish it could always be like this.


Posts: 1379 | Registered: Sep 2006
Emerald Eyes
♀ Member
Member # 7977
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad things are good today, Sharim. Good days are a nice break from days, aren't they?

Hurtbs, how you holding up, hon?


Posts: 1235 | Registered: Aug 2005 | From: Texas
Emerald Eyes
♀ Member
Member # 7977
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My Peeps! I've have several margaritas and its a 3-day weekend!! wooo-hooo!

I hope y'all are all in a good place tonight.


Posts: 1235 | Registered: Aug 2005 | From: Texas
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, April 5th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lucky! I have to be up early tomorrow


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays - 1 was too many
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15133 | Registered: Jun 2006
melody
♀ Member
Member # 12344
Default  Posted: 5:29 AM, April 6th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EE, hope those Margaritas are sitting well this morning

hurtbs, did you have a good lunch w/ your H?

Sharim, I've been getting indications that the people H works w/ knew what was going on--they work pretty closely together and would go get coffee together. Now, no more flirting, no more breaks together. His co workers seem to go out of their way to be nice to me or say nice things. They've always been kind, though, so I don't know if I'm reading into it more than there is. It doesn't bother me, though. If they are doing it because of his EA, then they are letting me know they are there and sympathetic to our marriage. If they are doing it because they found out about my A, and are still kind, then I think they want me to know they are still sympathetic. Either way, kindness never bothers me! It's the digs that masquerade as kindness that make my skin crawl


M 20 yrs
4 kids

H-EA, d-day 1-06
W-PA, d-day 9-05
so both of us are WS & BS
working hard on R
"Sorry is looking backwards, worry is looking around, and faith is looking ahead"


Posts: 385 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: New England
OurLifeBack
♀ Member
Member # 10620
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, April 6th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey gang! I haven't been on in a while and couldn't imagie what y'all had done to get locked!

Things going well here except I think OW is having some trouble with her job...now that H is not there to coach her. H and I have not discussed exactly what is going on.

Glad everyone is doing well. On the everyone knowing topic -- no duh! I don't know what these people think. I look back at several clues I was given. One was my former friend who was working for my H who gave me a book about Sexual issues -- I thought What? Then his assistant abrubtly quit last year.

I wish my friend had been more direct....

So glad it is Friday! Hope everyone has a grest weekend!


Me: BS 50 Him: WS 46 Married 15 years / Together 19
DDay: 4/28/06 & many more after that -- there are still a lot of blanks & I dread the telling
01/28/08 - renewed EA with OW. SA confirmed. Taking a time out.
06/13/08 - discovered EA with OW#2.

Posts: 1141 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Florida / Chicago - Whatever!
sharim
♀ Member
Member # 11937
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, April 6th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What bothers me kinda about everyone at work knowing is that I was on real good relations with a lot of the work people years and years ago but as kids came and I was working, I didn't see anyone much unless we bumped into each other accidentally around town. I know it was not their responsiblity to alert me but I sure would have appreciated it.

Funny incident though - I think OW and H got into a "fight" about getting an additional rental car for one of his staff that is going on the trip next week (she holds the purse strings on this trip). I guess she thought the two women should share (H is driving our car) and H didn't want them to have to do that since the trip is over 4 hours away plus they are there for 4 days. OW would have had to pay for flights plus extra rooms if they flew instead of drove so the additional car was cheaper. H tried to tell me the "fight" was with someone else but he must be getting old I guess cuz he tripped up on something he said and then I knew for sure it was OW. He got really pissed off when she escalated it to their boss. I just acted dumb about it and like I hadn't figured it out


Posts: 1379 | Registered: Sep 2006
stillhurting1
♀ Member
Member # 13564
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, April 6th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{SHARIM}
Dont you feel like an FBI agent at times, figuring things out....

My friend at work calls me the *F'ing KGB*...because I know it all..find out anything. LOL!

sometimes I think I'd make a damn good PI.


Me:36 BS
Him: 35 WS
2 kids: age 4 and 20 months
#3 due March 09

Finally had it. I want a D!!

How could I have lived with a liar and not known...


Posts: 372 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: NW
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, April 6th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope that everyone has a great weekend!

Had lunch with FWH at work today. No FSOW sightings, but was prepped for it. Ahh well. I guess that once was enough.

I hope that you're all doing well.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays - 1 was too many
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15133 | Registered: Jun 2006
melody
♀ Member
Member # 12344
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, April 7th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all,
Haven't posted much lately--SI was starting to feel like an addiction! My H was uncomfortable w/ the time I spent on it, so I was trying to cut back.


M 20 yrs
4 kids

H-EA, d-day 1-06
W-PA, d-day 9-05
so both of us are WS & BS
working hard on R
"Sorry is looking backwards, worry is looking around, and faith is looking ahead"


Posts: 385 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: New England
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