XWH died Dec. 2010
And so far - she is still working there. The last time she answered the phone - I just hung up. I didn't feel like talking to her.
For the record - I am a stay at home Mom - so if I walk away from this I will give up everything. I am completely trapped!
[This message edited by brokendreamz at 12:33 AM, March 7th (Friday)]
As far as being trapped, I understand how you feel but if you live in a community property state then it is possible that 1/2 of everything is yours. Yes, your standard of living may go down but it may be better then living in this torture. We all have what we can tolerate or not tolerate. It is different for everybody.
Good lick in finding out everything that you need to.
It's been going on since August and I found out about it in October. She tried breaking it off, however, she in her head made me out to be a villian that she can't take being with me. She would dread coming home on Friday nights and returned to see the OM, than come home after she had her "cake," if you know what I mean.
I got pretty good at tracking her whereabouts when she wasn't with me, however she reconnected with him in January every Friday afternoon by leaving work early. She than started saying she couldn't stay with me and needed her autonomy.
Well, we've split and now she's in relationship with him. She's worried about disclosure and says she's going to be very discreet because he is a work mate.
She worked very closely with him on a deal and it started with an emotional affair that went too far. Now she's in the fog, and f'ging this good Christian guy.
She seemed happiest during the weekdays when she got to see her boyfriend and really dreaded our relationship and our weekends together. She wouldn't even participate in fun things with me. At the end it was awful because she was just outright being selfish and taking care of "her" needs.
I've been thinking of outing her at work with her boss as I have a way to get her email address.
Wounded in so. Jersey.
D Final 8/31/2009
P.S. Jersey girl here, too.
Thanks for your support.
My WW started this off with an EA, which I believe took place leading up to her saying, I want out of the marriage.
It than progressed into a PA although she says it's not about that. Of course it is because she only had relations after me finding out about the A during the holidays then she stopped completely. It killed her to have sex with me because she felt like she was cheating on the OM. Can you believe this bullshit.
She is in a deep, deep fog, so over the barrel it isn't funny. She says he's brought forth feelings in her that have been dormant for years. He understands me.
Our MC and I call it an addiction and a fantasy. She doesn't see it that way as the stories in the books don't align in her mind with her A.
I'm diclosing every chance I get and have been considering out her and him at work. I have her bosses email and some colleagues that would really sting them.
I also have information relative to the OMXW who he divorced because of her affair. You think he would have learned.
All I can say is it's two weak people stroking each other to make them feel good.
I saw my IC last night and I spoke to him about disclosure of the affair at work. He didn't recommend it becauses, while it may hasten the end of the affair he didn't think it would help with bringing her into reconciliation.
His point is that this is our second marriage, we have no kids together, we've been together for only a short time and the foundation isn't strong.
He recommended manipulative strategies that wouldn't push WW away further. He told me to be very cautious.
My WW works at a major defense contractor. It's a man's world and she's an attractive lady. Guys hit on her a lot. The OM approached her and they worked very close, however, he didn't look threatening. He works his way in and my WW let her guard down.
All who have viewed this see it as a fantasy relationship. I have not outed them, in fact, I am looking forward to seeing her fall on her face within the next 12 months. I know her boss, Mr. Wonderful, he ain't.
I am moving on with MY life. She can have her sordid, crappy little affair. Since the A, I have lost forty pounds, running, lifting, I actually can see my abs--yay!
I have met so many women since we separated; guess what, I am viewed as a good catch! I am enjoying my freedom.
Divorced: March 18, 2008.
I recommend all BS get a "Livestrong" bracelet and wear it; its helped me tremendously!