Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: remembering (43168)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: When Your Wayward Spouse/Partner Works With The Affair Person
redhairtemper
♀ Member
Member # 24716
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, July 7th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's awesome, and he told you about it!

My only solace about the ow is that she developed a strange unknown allergy to their new office and now has to work from home. Granted her home is closer to his home than my new one is... Still, she isn't going into the office anymore (lest she go into anaphalytic shock) so they can't be tempted. My great grandmother was known to cast spells, perhaps a little bit of her gift rubbed off on me? lol.


Solitude stands in the doorway, and I'm struck once again by her black silhouette; By her long cool stare and her silence; I suddenly remember each time we've met; And she says I've come to set a twisted thing straight;

Posts: 1079 | Registered: Jul 2009
hopefulvb
♀ Member
Member # 24353
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, July 13th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am hating Monday, like always-just wanted to check in with everyone- Trying to get through this long day.......

[This message edited by hopefulvb at 9:55 AM, July 13th (Monday)]


Posts: 166 | Registered: Jun 2009
Obliterated9584
Member
Member # 12714
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, July 13th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel your pain Hopful... Mondays are the worst.


Me 39
WS 40
Married 18 years
Together 22 years
2 Great Kids
we were HS sweeties
D-day 9-24-06
mini d-day 11-19-06
FWH no longer working with OW 10/30/09
Working hard at R

Posts: 264 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: Twin Cities
lifesabeach
♀ Member
Member # 15236
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, July 13th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there. Monday's do get easier as time goes on.
I learned today. That FOW is going to be returning to work in a couple of weeks. It has been so nice since she has been gone. Wish it could have become permanent. I am okay with her return. I realized today that I absolutely do not trust her. however I do have some trust in my FWH.


R'd

Posts: 337 | Registered: Jul 2007
Obliterated9584
Member
Member # 12714
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had a bad night last night. All the anger, pain and frustration just came out. Cried a lot. Going on 3 years of this shit...and now that he has lost that selfish arrogance & knows he needs to get a new job, there are NONE to be had...no end in sight. Sometimes its so exhausting holding out hope.


Me 39
WS 40
Married 18 years
Together 22 years
2 Great Kids
we were HS sweeties
D-day 9-24-06
mini d-day 11-19-06
FWH no longer working with OW 10/30/09
Working hard at R

Posts: 264 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: Twin Cities
nooneeverthought
♀ Member
Member # 20157
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and now that he has lost that selfish arrogance & knows he needs to get a new job, there are NONE to be had...

That is where we are at too. He is almost desperate now for a new position and here we are. We are 13 months into R


it doesn't matter where you go in life ,it's who you have the beside you

Posts: 8493 | Registered: Jul 2008
Obliterated9584
Member
Member # 12714
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

JCI... Monday morning torture roll call...


Me 39
WS 40
Married 18 years
Together 22 years
2 Great Kids
we were HS sweeties
D-day 9-24-06
mini d-day 11-19-06
FWH no longer working with OW 10/30/09
Working hard at R

Posts: 264 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: Twin Cities
hopefulvb
♀ Member
Member # 24353
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am here for the Monday morning roll call- I hate it-I am over it-It sucks

Posts: 166 | Registered: Jun 2009
flygirl96
♀ Member
Member # 22954
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, July 22nd (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HI Guys I didn't know this site was here. Long story short my FWH had A with coworker who sold her house and moved 3 hours away a month before I found out about affair. 3 weeks ago I find out she moved back and got her old job back. Now I worry about them running into each other. He did for the first 5 weeks and now he stays clear of her but it just hurts.

what kind of person moves away, gets found out, harrasses the wife and then comes back and gets her old job back?

I want so badly to call her but I haven't. Any help would be appreciated.


Posts: 339 | Registered: Feb 2009
Obliterated9584
Member
Member # 12714
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, July 22nd (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is she married? If so, thats easy TELL HER HUSBAND!


Me 39
WS 40
Married 18 years
Together 22 years
2 Great Kids
we were HS sweeties
D-day 9-24-06
mini d-day 11-19-06
FWH no longer working with OW 10/30/09
Working hard at R

Posts: 264 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: Twin Cities
flygirl96
♀ Member
Member # 22954
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, July 22nd (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

no she is not married. I wish she were. I guess she didn't like living where she was and came back here and her old job just happened to be open. She told my husband she didn't care how he felt about her getting her old job back. After being out of our lives for 10 months......she's back!!!!!

Posts: 339 | Registered: Feb 2009
hopefulvb
♀ Member
Member # 24353
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, July 23rd (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why was she talking to your husband to even give him that information? How do you k ow she said that- Did he tell you? Just curious-

Posts: 166 | Registered: Jun 2009
flygirl96
♀ Member
Member # 22954
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, July 23rd (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes he told me that he was walking out and she was at the desk for her interview and he went up to her and asked what she was doing there and told him that. It was a 2 minute conversation he should of never had but he did.

He now knows that he can't even say hello to her as it only hurts us. I'm sure if I saw my ex lover at my work place I'd also want to know what they were doing there. However, it upsets me to even know they are in the same building and he has to see her walking around.


Posts: 339 | Registered: Feb 2009
jc1092
♀ Member
Member # 11374
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, July 23rd (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi there. Another member here. Don't take it personaly, I wish I weren't here.

WH works out of the house, account manager/sales. He travels overnight here and there but different places, maybe 3-4 hr drive. His "main company" is out of state and he doesn't go there often but it is a repeat visit and he's only been in the job for 9 months. His first visit there was a whole 10 days but hopefully won't have to do that long a visit again. Well my intuition told me something was wrong/going to happen and after being involved with MOW through emails only (started out as proffessional, no idea how the conversations turned personal, whatever) they met in person for the first time about 4weeks ago (a 2.5day trip for him there). They met at company dinner and went to her room that night. As far as I know it was a ONS. His guilt, I think, made him keep in touch with her... texts, emails for 3 wks but I've felt funny, snooped and found them. (NC now, initiated by her after she and I talked an hour on the phone!)...

Anyway. Currently I am numb and have no idea if we are going to work it out or D but if we DO work it out... can someone help me with "boundary" ideas or what, if anything, I can do to feel better or suggest to him to help me feel better? He is extremely mortified by what he's done (but I had to find out first) and is working hard to figure himself out and still wants to stay.

Thanks so much for any advice.

(edited for typos)

[This message edited by jc1092 at 1:51 PM, July 23rd (Thursday)]


WH:41, BW:45(m), M:17.5y
3 kids (16,11,8)
PA- May 2006
~Reconciled VERY nicely for 3 years...
PA- June 2009 (new OW)
Kicked him out Aug09
I'm done.
In process of D.

Posts: 247 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: East Coast
hopefulvb
♀ Member
Member # 24353
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, July 27th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Its Monday and for the first time since D-day I feel nothing. Guess its the walls people have beeen talking about- I am losing my love for my WH- I am not even caring he has to go to work and be with the ugly whore-Kinda like I dont care who he is screwing anymore- He has already broken the vows, cant do any worse!!! Crazy feeling like this-

Posts: 166 | Registered: Jun 2009
AnnaMaria
♀ Member
Member # 24900
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, July 27th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((hopefulvb)))


Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced. - James Baldwin
DDay - 05/30/09

Posts: 442 | Registered: Jul 2009
nooneeverthought
♀ Member
Member # 20157
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, July 27th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((hopefulvb))

How ya doing now?


it doesn't matter where you go in life ,it's who you have the beside you

Posts: 8493 | Registered: Jul 2008
dirk pitt
♂ Member
Member # 22167
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, July 27th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am just wondering how many of the WS had sex at the workplace. In the offices lunchrooms wherever.

I feel that the only time I can feel truly safe is when she is home, beside me.

Mondays don't mean anything to me, She had sex with the om at the workplace on two different occasions, both were Saturday nights.

Just needed to vent,

tc


Me=BS
Her=WW (ilovemyhusband)

Posts: 2127 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: ottawa ontario
Katieisfree
♀ Member
Member # 22930
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, July 27th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My FWH claims to have not had anything happen at workplace. Just met her there and had meetings outside work. He claims now not to even look at her there which seems far fetched to me. I could not work under those conditions.


DD 6/6/08
Sep 5/8/08
R 16/12/08

Posts: 485 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Australia
sharim
♀ Member
Member # 11937
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, July 27th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

JC1092 - My WH and I have not set up any boundaries - we've done the whole R thing wrong so I can't really speak from actual experience but I believe the book "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass addresses it.

Unfortunately I think a lot of us here have learned to just grit our teeth and hate Mondays. If there is any way to not be in the same workplace I strongly reccommend it. This is really no way to live.


Posts: 1379 | Registered: Sep 2006
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.