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I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dealing With Depression
BlindlyTrusting
♀ New Member
Member # 20151
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah, thank you sunlil. That bit of validation went a loooong way I feel like I second guess myself all the time, especially since the infidelity... the meds are one thing I don't need to second guess. You are right-- they don't alter my mood, just help with consistency and the low, low feelings.


Me 28
WS 32
Married 4 years, together 6
No Kids
DDay 2/19/08, totally out of the blue
Trying to reconcile, I'm not sure yet... am I too young for this?!?

Posts: 33 | Registered: Jul 2008
Lurksalot
♀ Member
Member # 2162
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm currently in the process of changing and adjusting meds to fight a major depressive episode.

Like many of us here, my history with diagnosed clinical depression began long before infidelity first touched my life. My first diagnosis was about two years after a severe (untreated) post-partum depression. In hindsight from that vantage point, I realized that I had been dealing with depression since my teens.

I think that I have the "tools." I've been through years of counseling; I keep a journal; and I do take care of myself. Even so, this episode totally "blindsided" me. I didn't see the usual warning signs. There were no changes in my life, no new stresses or losses to deal with. But I still didn't get help until I was so depressed that I couldn't function at all, let alone function normally.

My questions for this group is, what are your guideposts for seeking medical help for your depression? How do you know when you are not just "sad," but truly in need of medical help?

Thanks,
Lurks


BS, WS, mostly healed, mostly reconciled.

Posts: 2907 | Registered: Sep 2003
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, August 26th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what are your guideposts for seeking medical help for your depression? How do you know when you are not just "sad," but truly in need of medical help?

My IC figures I'd probably had a low-grade depression since my father left. His death and my mother' death exacerbated it and by the time DDday came along I was prime for a huge drop.

I fought going on meds for a year. What got me on them was my therapist pointing out that I was still obsessing and thinking about death after a year of talk therapy.

Now I adjust my own meds. I dropped the dose down a while back and waited to see if I'd have a huge drop. I didn't.

I think my guidelines are: 1. thoughts of suicide or homicide.
2. return of excessive obsessive behaviors like snooping or setting the VAR
3. not caring about my appearance or caring WAY too much
4. inability to stop crying


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
SophieKnows
♀ Member
Member # 20839
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, August 30th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I sought help for depression when:

1. I kept having anxiety filled insomnia.
2. I started to want to be hit by a truck.
3. I cried a lot.
4.I felt numb all the time.
5. Others started to urge me to get help (my brother is studying medicine and has a keen interest in psychiatry).

My doctor prescribed ad's and IC and exercise. I have been doing all three and it really has helped.

Sophie


Me: BS - 33
WH - 33 SA, Multiple D-Days, Multiple OWs, Multiple Profiles on Dating Sites

False R - Was Separated - Now in Limbo while he's going through IC.

Mother to a wonderful 4 year old daughter.


Posts: 108 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Canada
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, October 18th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been dealing with depression for years now. First went on AD in 2002, shortly after 9/11. My husband is a pilot, so that event kind of rocked my world. Took AD for about a year and got off.

Mood was okay for a few years, then a couple of years ago, I realized I was hanging on to the edge of the pit by my fingernails, so asked my dr for ADs again. He initially put me on zoloft, we increased the dose once, then he added wellbutrin, and after a while we dropped the zoloft.

I was doing very well, the depression was under control, until DDay. 9/11 of this year.

All the depressive symptoms are back in full force. Some more so. I had to see the dr. a couple of days ago for something else, and told him I found out my husband cheated. (Yes, he slept with a flight attendant). Dr.questioned me about my mood, appetite, etc., then suggested adding Celexa temporarily. I agreed because I am so tired of feeling this way. I have only taken it for three days, so can't tell yet if it's going to do the trick, but I so need the help right now.

This is the first time in the history of my depression that I have started to think it would be easier to just not be here anymore. I won't hurt myself because of my kids, but I do find myself thinking that at least it would end my pain.

[This message edited by itspjw at 7:36 PM, October 18th (Saturday)]


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
SRVfan38
♀ Member
Member # 19338
Default  Posted: 11:06 PM, October 19th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does anybody suffer from seasonal depression?

I'm usually ok until just after Chritmas, then it seems to go downhill. I hate the cold weather, I hate it when it gets dark at 5:30, I just hate the whole winter thing. Hate having to feel constricted by all the layers. I would love to live on the equator. I was in a 2 year depression after the loss of a good friend and my BIL. Plus I had a horrible job. I started to notice prior I was getting depressed in the winter. I finally have broken out of the 2 year depression this last April/May. I've been pretty good all year, but now we are approaching winter and although I'm not feeling it yet, I'm scared it will hit. As soon as spring hits, life feels new and rejuvinated again and I feel better. In the past, I have found that going to a tanning bed helps, but we all know what that does. But it sure did help with the seasonal depression.

I've never been on an anti-d, I'm not much of a user of meds. I have to have a really bad headache before I will take anything. It seems if a drug has a side effect, I will eventually get it, so I just avoid them as much as I can. What are some of the side effects anybody has experienced? One of these years, I may consider trying it, just a little scared about side effects. But it may help through the winter.


I want to become the person my dogs think I am.

Posts: 265 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Wannabe in Tahiti
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 5:19 AM, October 20th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SRV - I don't suffer from SAD, but my H does. His IC suggested he get one of those "sun" lights, You sit under it for like 30 minutes a day and it's supposed to help.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
SRVfan38
♀ Member
Member # 19338
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, October 20th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe thats why going to the tanning bed helped. I don't want to damage my skin, but it sure did work. I will see if I can find a lamp.


I want to become the person my dogs think I am.

Posts: 265 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Wannabe in Tahiti
Lonerider
♂ Member
Member # 9205
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, October 21st (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DW uses one of those lights, as does my mom. They both say it helps.


BS me 43 years old
WS her 45 years old
married 14 years, together 20
2 kids
D-day 7/15/05

Posts: 4225 | Registered: Dec 2005 | From: western NY
beach
♀ Member
Member # 7533
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, October 21st (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello, everyone.

(I didn't realize that the thread was dedicated for Dealing with Depression until today.) Anyways, I was diagnosed with depression in August.

I started experiencing the following symptoms from February and I finally went to see a family physician at the end of Jul.

low energy

apathy (existing with no purpose)

lack of concentration

lack of motivation

loss of interests

slow thinking

(no sadness or suicidal thoughts though)

MD prescribed me Effexor RX 37.5 mg. Side effects I experienced were yawning, sleepy, my head felt heavy, so I took it in the evening. Side effect lasted for a week though.

It took me 4 - 8 weeks to feel functional, but it amprified my social phobia. Made me very uncomfortable self-conscious, if someon is looking at me. Like being judged and looking down on me.

MD doubled my doses last week and I can feel that it is helping finally.

In the mean time, I am working on my low self-esteem issue through IC.

[This message edited by beach at 10:57 AM, October 21st (Tuesday)]


If you don't find peace with yourself, you cannot find anywhere else.
Appreciate and cherish what I have.

Posts: 8680 | Registered: Jul 2005 | From: midwest
sadskittles
♀ Member
Member # 21232
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, October 21st (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. I have short periods of time where life seems content and happy, but I fall into depression soon afterwards.

I have never been to IC in my life for it. I justed started MC last night... I am unsure if I can handle IC and MC at the same time. I have so many old demons and I don't think I am ready to face everything all at once.

I hate feeling like this all the time, but I am used to it... I know that is a bad thing, but I need to worry about saving my relationship before I dig out all of my old ghosts.


Moving on... without him and stronger for it.

Posts: 359 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Wisconsin
SRVfan38
♀ Member
Member # 19338
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, October 21st (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel the older I get the more depression shows it's ugly face. Most of the time I have good days. Last week, my mother disowned me again. I have eaten very little all week, it started messing with my stomach. Finally started eating again, I'm feeling better. My biggest fear is I will be like her. I have tried all my life to always do the opposite of her because I did not like that person and didn't want to be it. I've done a pretty good job. But the constant rejection and now my kids being rejected by her has got me down a little bit. But we will make it through. I think I will have to try one of those lights this year, sounds like it works. Thanks for the responses on that.

Beach-
I've experienced that social phobia thing. I feel that a lot. Like somebody is watching me, like they are judging me. When I have my kids or H with me, I'm fine, but alone, I feel uncomfortable in public. I try to avoid public situations alone. I start feeling a panic attack coming on. Although, I have to say, I recognized it and have worked on it the last few years and I'm not as bad as I was 3 or 4 years ago. I remember panicking so bad in Walmart one day, I couldn't finish my shopping. I had to take what I had and get out. I came back the next day and finished the shopping and was fine. It's better now. Still hits every once in a while and when it does hit, it's not as bad.


I want to become the person my dogs think I am.

Posts: 265 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Wannabe in Tahiti
beach
♀ Member
Member # 7533
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, October 21st (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SRV, yes it was painful for me, too. I was afraid of being in the huge group at the seminer or being greeted at the store. I couldn't even go inside to shop.


I am slowly working on my self-esteem. I am reading "Anxiety, Panic, and Phobia" book and it has helpful information. I just need to change self-dialogue to positive conversation with myself (in the head).

[This message edited by beach at 11:21 PM, October 21st (Tuesday)]


If you don't find peace with yourself, you cannot find anywhere else.
Appreciate and cherish what I have.

Posts: 8680 | Registered: Jul 2005 | From: midwest
pcisconfused
♀ Member
Member # 19583
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, October 22nd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My dr has decided to switch me from Lexapro to Celexa (stupid insurance company). Does any one have any experience with this type of switch? I am kind of nervous about it but $90 to $4 is a huge difference.


BW (43)
WS (44)
together 14 years
4 kids together
Separated but seeing Counsellor to see if we can R

Posts: 73 | Registered: May 2008
stateofshock
♀ Member
Member # 21287
Default  Posted: 1:44 AM, October 28th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been a strong willed, healthy, smart person all of my life. All of a sudden, since my DDay, I am a total mess, cry constantly, have NO control over my emotions, and feel generally hopeless about my future. I honestly cannot imagine ever being happy again. My work is suffering terribly (I'm in commissioned sales and I am just unable to focus...I don't care.) And that's bad, because now I'm on my own and I need my income more than ever, but I can't seem to care enough to go out and get any business!

I've never been depressed before, and I am embarassed to go to a doctor and tell them I feel like this. But I feel every day like I can't function much longer like this...it has been just under two months...should I just wait it out longer and I'll feel better? Shouldn't I be at least able to work by now???


Married 17 years.
Me-41
Him-45
D-Day 9/9/08
1 Daughter, 15 yrs old
OW is ex-wife from 22 yrs ago
He's been out of the house since 9/20.
R seems to be impossible now...

Posts: 277 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Southwest
pcisconfused
♀ Member
Member # 19583
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, October 28th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stateofshock please go see your doctor. There is nothing to be embarrassed about at all. It is only temporary to get you thru this awful situation. My doctor was very understanding and is more than happy to work with me to find something that works.


BW (43)
WS (44)
together 14 years
4 kids together
Separated but seeing Counsellor to see if we can R

Posts: 73 | Registered: May 2008
breathing
♀ New Member
Member # 21307
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, October 28th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't really grasp that I was dealing with drepression. A couple of years ago I discussed with Dr. told him I just need time. Always had a cloud over my head.. Couldn't laugh and enjoy life. Been on meds for over 2 weeks. Wake up with a smile and just want to dance... I hear the music now. Things just seem to roll on my shoulders now. I see life in a different way now. H used to call me Debbie Downer.... Have down times but not many....I'm ready to live life to the fullest


Married 20 years been together 21. Children 19 and 13. DD ?

Posts: 21 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: K noxville Tennessee
sportsfan
♂ Member
Member # 9918
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, October 28th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sos; i would strongly encourage you to see your dr b/c you don't have to live this way. meds will help. i'm in sales and battle dep as well. since dday i probably lost $300K in commissions which could've been avoided. it's not just business you're losing - you'll continue to lose time which you'll never get back. do it now!

Posts: 1915 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From: PA
newday2day
♀ Member
Member # 21318
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, October 28th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have struggled with Depression my entire life. When I was teenager I was hospitalized twice for attempting suicide. Since my last visit (at 17) to the hospital I've been able to recognize the warning signs and get help.

Through my first divorce and first experience with infidelity I went on meds. I survived and things went back to "normal".

This time (with my 2nd H) it's different. I was able to walk away from my ExH and be sad, depressed, and move on but my current WH (gosh that's sad that I've now had two WH's) is addictive to me. I cannot walk away no matter how hard I try and want to.

Maybe this time it's true love? Or (more likely) it's my self-esteem and codepenance.

Either way the doctor put me on Celexa from day 2 after D Day. That was the first thing I did the next morning was call the doctor. He also put me on Ambien for 15 days to help me get through the first couple of weeks without having to deal with not sleeping. I'm not yet feeling the effects of Celexa but it's only been a couple of weeks and I know it takes time but I'm desperate to get some clarity in my mind.

Thanks for listening. I'm not sure that I clarified or helped anyone but please do not be ashamed to need AD's. They can do miracles to get you through the lowest times in your life.

[This message edited by newday2day at 3:20 PM, October 28th (Tuesday)]


BS 31
WS 36
Married 9/1/07
D Day #1 1/21/08 - personals ad response
D Day #2 5/15/08 - created 2 personals ads
D Day #3, 4, & 5 10/08 - personals ad response, phone sex, calling escort services
Newest D-Day 1/1/2010 - Will it ever end? This tim

Posts: 95 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Michigan
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, October 28th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm also waiting for my Celexa to kick in! I have been on Wellbutrin for a while, and my depression was under control until...you guessed it...DDay. At my next dr visit he added Celexa. Hoping it will just be temporary till I get through this, but who knows.

Don't be ashamed of needing ADs. I am not ashamed of being on them. No one should be. It is medication used to treat a medical condition (Yes, it is a medical condition). If you have high blood pressure, you take medicine for that--if you have depression, there is no shame in treating it.


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
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