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Newest Member: steve2020 (43223)

I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dealing With Depression
Lonerider
♂ Member
Member # 9205
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, March 24th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been dealing with a $2200 bill for my DW's antidepressants, at least we should meet our deductible.


BS me 43 years old
WS her 45 years old
married 14 years, together 20
2 kids
D-day 7/15/05

Posts: 4225 | Registered: Dec 2005 | From: western NY
heartache101
♀ Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, March 24th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I will post here too!
Why? Because I was just diagnosed as major depression disorder with some anxiety. Ya Think?
The crying spells were horrid. I would just cry and cry. Yes that dark hole is terrible terrible place... I never never want to be there again!!!!! No matter what I don't want to be there ever....
I don't think I have functioned appropriately for over 4 years myself. I think my WS was purposely trying to drive me nuts!
But upside is I am in counseling YaY!! I have drugs Yay!! And I quit crying all the time... Still cry still hurt... But ya know what I truly feel indifferent about this whole damn situation... I just want a new and better stage of my life!!!
Sooo thanks to my WS for fn up my life and now I am on drugs because he got himself some on the side!! YaY!!!
Isn't life full of crap!!!
But guess what I will survive!!!
Soooo hows everyone else today???


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3141 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
survivinglies
Member
Member # 19376
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, March 25th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On Celexa and Xanax here for about 2 years. I have been really struggling with fatigue lately. I can't tell if it's depression or adrenal fatigue after dealing with stress for too long.


BS (me)
WS (him)- ONS 1995, 3 month EA 0708
Married: 18, Together: 20, DS & DD
"Onlies" until ONS
95-98 trickle-"we didn't have sex"
D-day #1 (1/23/2008- EA OW#2)
D-day #2 (5/1/2008- ONS OW#1)
Isaiah 40:31

Posts: 1397 | Registered: May 2008 | From: U.S., just a few miles south of insanity
heartache101
♀ Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, March 29th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I am very pleased with the paxil results so far. Only been taking it for a week and 2 days. I have not had any bad side effects at all. Just a little tired. Other then that I am not dwelling on the negative all day. Actually able to function and trying to get a little organized even. Nice little pill it is...


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3141 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 4:27 AM, March 30th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone here...IC seems to feel I'm "depressed" when I start feeling anxious or upset when the sun sets. Or, at least, this is caused by depression.

Has anyone experienced this?

I always used to look forward to the cozy short dark days of Fall & Winter-- but now I don't.
Thanks.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
2xbit
♀ Member
Member # 26783
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, April 9th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's perfectly normal to feel depressed when dealing with this. I do believe in professional counseling and meds. My IC suggested that I find two things I've always wanted to do, then DO THEM ! I came up with one. It has given me more joy than I could have imagined. That led me to joining an exercise group, nothing too strenuous lol. The companionship, getting out, and pure distraction all combined to helping me feel better, a lot better.

I don't want to make it sound like I don't cry anymore, or have times when I don't know why or how to get through this forest of towering trees, but it gives me respite. I highly recommend you try to do something pleasurable purely for YOU. Take care of YOU ! You deserve it. Oddly enough, it would never have occurred to me to do this on my own, it was IC's idea. So I am passing it on to you...

Do something you've always wanted to do or learn... you'll be surprised. Good luck to you, and to me


Posts: 61 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: NY
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 5:57 AM, April 10th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just checking in...hope everyone is doing well...I haven't been on SI much lately, but I wanted to drop in and see how everyone is doing, and to say, once you get the right med, or combo of meds, it makes a huge difference. I am actually feeling normal again!


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, April 10th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

glad to read a positive post from you, Its. I've wondered about not seeing you on SI.

Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, April 23rd (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks. I haven't been on much lately. I've been taking time to focus on me, my family, and my marriage. Things are still hard sometimes but I am stonger and am able to handle them better.


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
phatchance12
♀ Member
Member # 28280
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, April 24th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went to my doctor the other day and was too embarrassed to even tell her what I was going through. Cried all the way home for 100 miles for being so stupid in not telling her.


Me: Faithful Wife.
Him: Who gives a shit, really.
Caught him on Feb 22nd, 2010.
Who the fuck does he think he is changing my life forever without asking me?


Posts: 426 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Hell
thisismylife?
♀ New Member
Member # 28372
Default  Posted: 2:14 AM, April 26th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Phatchance12))

There is a lot of shame and a sense of failure in all of this. Shouldn't be as we did nothing wrong, but those are some of the emotions to work through. I hope you can get another appointment sooner than later and over time, it will be easier to talk about it. I had a really hard time...took months before I could discuss it with anyone. I am now almost a year out...it just all takes a lot of time. Did I mention time?


1st DD: 4/30/09
2nd DD: 10/5/09
In house Separation
Together 17 years, two sons

Posts: 4 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Washington State
heart_in_a_blend
♀ Member
Member # 24191
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, April 26th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm still in the fight/flight mode. Actually, I want to run away from it all. I know that you take your baggage with you.

I feel like most of the time I'm pretending. That I'm just trying to get through another weekend. I hate weekends.

I feel like I have wasted 38 years of my life. Put all my eggs in one basket and the bottome fell out.

Nothing makes me happy any more. I went to an Eagles concert and found that I could not even consentrate on the music. I can not focus on much of anything.

I go to church but can't even remember what the sermon was about. I have pretty much given up on praying.

I feel too tired all the time and just want to spend the day in bed.

I have tried drugs and they do not work for me. Can't tollerate them.

I feel sad and lonley all the time. There is no joy to my life.


In life, much of what one grieves one never had.

Posts: 3036 | Registered: May 2009
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, May 1st (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just can't seem to get a real grip on it. I do really well, and feel really good for a few days, then it is like the bottom falls out from under me...

grr...hate this.


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, May 21st (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is closing in on me again.

I don't want to go back to that place.

I am fighting so hard against it.

I don't think I can fight hard enough.


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
twicedestroyed
♀ Member
Member # 28197
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, May 21st (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've suffered with depression all my life. Been on several different drugs, most recently Zoloft (safest for pregnancy and nursing...been on it since after the birth of my 5 year old) It has helped (a lot) but even though the dose has been increased, it's really not helping enough anymore. My first IC told me I wasn't "depressed" because I was still able to get up and function. I had 2 small children and a teenager at the time! I can't even stay in bed if I had the flu, c'mon!
My current IC doesn't even talk about depression. She actually told me I'm doing well...doing better each time I come in...HA, I don't feel that way. I feel as confused and depressed as I did right after DDay. I'm thinking of finding a new one.
Yeah, I've thought about suicide more times than I care to admit...I still do, but when it comes down to it, I couldn't do it to my kids.


Me-BS 35
Him-(F)WS 38
DDay 5/09 with TT all month after 7 years of marriage
3 month EA/PA with MOW (co-worker) while I was pregnant and during/after her birth/death
Living children, 4...currently 17 (mine/his step daughter), 8, 6, 3 (product of HB)

Posts: 106 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: East Coast
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, May 21st (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to admit, the only reason I never really considered suicide is because of the kids.


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
wiswounded
♀ Member
Member # 23928
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, May 21st (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It really is hard not to go through something like this without "depression". The key is knowing that it is "situational depression". It is not a flaw in who you are, it is a flaw in what you perceived your life to be. Your recovery will be different from someone who suffers from "clinical depression" as a result of brain chemistry. It will be somewhat different than PTSD (but not much).

Different drugs work for different people and for varying time periods. We are all unique.

Before you all think "what the hell is she talking about"...

I did attempt suicide two days after D-day and ended up in a 72 hour hold for my personal safety in a mental health facility. I have had IC twice in my lifetime for "situational depression" with medication prescribed on both occasions. The other "situation" was something equally, if not more agregeous as infidelity.

To quote my DD22..."you are the strongest woman I know and I also know you'll get through this...you always do. Don't ever try to end your life again because you are my role model."

Powerful medicine...so use it.

wis


XBW - Me
XWH - Creep I used to be married to
Divorce 7-13-09 (State of WI fastest)
"You cannot stop the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you CAN stop them from building nests in your hair"

Posts: 822 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Wisconsin
GreenT
♀ Member
Member # 27996
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, June 17th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi friends,

I was wondering if anyone can recommend any natural or herbal remedies for helping depression? I've done some searching on the internet, and have seen various things, like SAM-E, St. John's Wort, Magnesium, etc.

Has anyone had any positive experiences taking these natural supplements or any others for depression? For various reasons, I really don't want to go down the road of drug prescriptions.

TIA


Absence is to love what wind is to fire: when it is a small fire the wind kills it, but when it's a real fire the wind intensifies it. - DVF

Posts: 205 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: partially here but almost there
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, August 8th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

depression sucks...

I'm tired of dealing with it.


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
stonewall_wife
♀ Member
Member # 20932
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, August 10th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((its)))

Me too.

I'm on meds and they're taking the "edge" off but still the fight is SO damn hard!!!!

I'm exhausted.

But we have to keep fighting.

We have too.

We will.

No matter how tired we get.

Keep fighting.


SW

I know that I've got issues, but you're pretty messed up too- Kelly Clarkson


Posts: 488 | Registered: Sep 2008
Topic Posts: 498
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