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I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dealing With Depression
stretch13
♀ Member
Member # 26894
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, August 15th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i'm chiming in for the first time. i've never noticed this thread before.

i understand the "taking the edge off" thing with the depression and anxiety. nothing i do helps more than to keep me just barely functional. i have chronic mild depression with situational major depression. my "go-to" thought when i'm not on Anti-d's at all (like when i was pregnant or breastfeeding) is "f-it, i just want to die" or "i should just off myself." i'll think those things in response to forgetting my coffee cup for my morning drive, or because i forgot and left a load of clothes too long in the washer. lol. my psychiatrist and i laugh about that. when i get on anti-d's the suicidal stuff goes completely away. it feels like such an artificial thought pattern...instead of the "normal" way i feel on meds. i was also a bit of a "cutter" or self-injurer when i was young. i was SO surprised to feel that impulse come back. so far i haven't hurt myself. the meds definitely help with that also.

i didn't mean to write this much. i've just been struggling lately. Dday was, well...you know...but that was 8 months ago. paternity results on OC just came in one month ago and i've been a mess. sigh. people think i'm handling this so well. they should see inside my head...or into my living room somedays.

hugs to everyone who needs them. me and FWH did our MSA questionnaire last night to give to the lawyer. it was sad but amicable, like our S has been. i feel like the plain of depression before me is a long, sad, boring journey. but i'll get there. i always do.

[This message edited by stretch13 at 8:38 AM, August 15th (Sunday)]


http://www.facebook.com/hardheadpress
http://www.amazon.com/Eli-Ely-Ezekiel-Tyrus/dp/0986042900/

http://hardheadpress.com/

life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac


Posts: 3929 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: east coast
Yumskers
♀ Member
Member # 28095
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, August 18th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need to go to therapy.At this time I am hoping that either myself or my Husband gets killed. I have already been on anti-depressants for 3 years and I went to marriage counseling and felt better but also more angry. I need to go to individual counseling! I don't know what to do. I just get so angry a lot of times, how do I learn to feel better?


Me(BS)-27
H- 32
Married- over 6 years
A started- Superbowl sunday 2010
Forced Confession March 8th 2010
Reconciliation always in progress

Posts: 103 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Montana
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, August 18th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

stonewall_wife....

Thanks. I am still fighting. Not for my marriage--just for my sanity.

I recently had a bad drug interaction that resulted in me being taken off of one of my ad's. Dr. said if I started feeling too bad, he would put me back on it, at a lower dose...

Guess what?

I am going to see him Monday.

Depression is a battle. One that I will have to fight the rest of my life.

Sucks, huh?


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
Fireball72
♀ Member
Member # 20152
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, September 3rd (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello, everyone. It's been a while since I've posted to this thread, and I wanted to bump it up a little for folks that might not have seen it before. Infidelity is such a debilitating thing to happen to a person that I think it wouldn't be shocking if the majority developed depression after all of the stress and heartache that happens..

As for me, I am still fighting the illness, but I am slowly getting better every day. I am now in psychotherapy with a wonderful doctor (that does Sunday appointments, yet, incredibly convenient for me!!) that encourages me to release all of the anger that I hold, not only toward my XH and all of his doings, but issues that I have had with my FOO as well, things that have completely surprised me and taken me off guard. I had no idea that my upbringing was so dysfunctional!

I am not completely off of the AD's yet, but my dosage has been drastically cut from 3 meds at once to only one pill, once a day. My PT hopes to have me completely weaned off the pills by Christmastime - that would be a wonderful, wonderful present for me, as there is nothing I'd like better than to be med-free.

While I'm still not free of depression, and I still have suicidal ideations from time to time, things are better to the point where I actually have HOPE - the first time since the original (first occurrence) infidelity happened in 2001.

I hope that everyone is safe tonight. I know that things look bleak when you have "the black dog", as Churchill used to call it. But it can be managed, controlled...maybe even conquered. I'm so hoping for the third option.

((((hugs to everyone)))) Hang in there... we can make it through this!


XBS - 42 and fabulous :D
I may not say much, but I'm always happy to be of help to anyone in need. :)

Posts: 592 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: The Chesapeake Bay
FindingNolia
♀ Member
Member # 28518
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, September 7th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does anyone have experience with children with severe depression?

My WH is on meds after finally seeing a psychiatrist when suicidal thoughts starting forming into plans for action. He's struggled with depression since he was a child but never talked to anyone (including me) or dealt with it.

I see many of the same behaviors in our DS12 and I know he's struggled with periodic depression based on various events, but I'm wondering if it's more than that and he doesn't know how to express it to me. DS admitted tonight that he does think about killing himself, but thoughts of family, friends, and dog keep him from pursuing it. I'm going to take him in for an eval with a psych, but this is a whole new level of scared and lost for me.

If anyone has recommendations for books I can read, resources I can turn to, please help me out.


married 18 years
separated 7/2010
divorced 11/2011

Posts: 199 | Registered: May 2010
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 3:36 AM, September 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have not dealt with it in my children, but I would, from my own experience, encourage you to get him in as soon as you can.

It truly is a chemical imbalance that can be treated with the right meds in addition to counseling. It is something that has to be monitored by those around, but can definitely be treated with the right meds.

Sending up some prayers for y'all....


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
ScribblingMum
♀ Member
Member # 20097
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, September 9th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi All. Sadly, I can relate to MANY of you. My WH has major back tax issues/. I know someone else in this thread mentioned this...), also...we can't even get through the bankruptcy until we can pay/do the taxes. He has his own contract. business but never kept things straight & it's VERY $$$$ to PAY the tax lady! Now, w/ little work we are in a horrendous $ situation. Not much Hope.

I am a SAHM/home school special needs kid...wish to God I could support myself. Sigh.
ANYWAY, I am on Celexa ( been for a while)...makes me kinda nauseous & other side effects were throat-closey feeling in begin. /night sweats). I actually don't have enough appetite ...think the Celexa has made this worse..(underweight)...severe situational stress...

and recently have begun to have major anxiety/dread even ON the Celexa! I have an old RX for Xanax for sleep but it makes me too tired to take it in the day for anxiety. I've also been waking up 3, 4, 5 a.m. so I took the Ambien I have for occasional use last few nights. Awful. I can't shut my thoughts off. My life has NEVER been this horrible/no hope/ financially wrecked.

If the anxiety/appetite suppression/nausea doesn't get better soon, I might try & ask doc. to switch me back to Zoloft from sev. years ago. Maybe it will help me GAIN weight! I need it.

ANYONE have more exper. w/ Celexa's side effects? Nausea espec.?

Does Xanax WORK for some of you with anxiety?
Sorry for the ramble...am really down. I think this is normal when one's 24 year marriage & life gets destroyed (sex addiction)...: Too much loss...



~ScribblingMum~
D-D 1: 12/23/06 - Porn (dd bust him on-line)
D-D 2: 4-25-08 - Massage P.'s(new act. in pretend recov.)
D-D 3:9-9-08 Caught call m. girl
D-Day 4: 6/30/09 -: free MP g.f./prost.
D-Day 5: 1-10-10: new mp prost's.
~DONE!


Posts: 1529 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: S .CALIF.
notasaint
♀ Member
Member # 28465
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, September 9th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Didn't know this thread existed, glad it does though!!

I was on Lexapro and xanax both taken at night. This made me so exhausted all the time. I thought the side effects would go away but still I was just so tired, it was annoying.

I went back to the dr and got Wellbutrin taken in the morning and stayed on lexapro and xanax at night. It started working better that's fore sure but I had a feeling the lexapro was not what I neeed.

I cut my lexapro in half and had already been doing 1/2 xanax for a couple of weeks. So far it's been a week and I can say I'm nowhere near as tired anymore. I don't egt hysterical but I do have down days, talking w/ FWH is helping with that. I really want to get off meds all together but the Wellbutrin I think is going to be the one I stay on for a few months.


Me - BW 36
Him - FWH 38 SLA (newlywednupset)
M < 1 year
D-days 8/2009 and 4/2010 TT to 10/2010
3 OW over the course of 2 years, all older, one married.
* My husband was in an open relationship from day one, he just failed to tell ME this.*

Posts: 1048 | Registered: May 2010 | From: FL
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 12:47 AM, September 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

scribblingmum,

xanax works for some for anxiety....it works for my niece...

For me, xanax doesn't work, but ativan does, without the sleepiness.

If the celexa is not working for you, please do see your dr. If the zoloft worked for you in the past, it may be what you need now. I have learned from experience, if whatever I am taking isn't working for me, I take myself in to the dr. and ask for something else. Not everything works the same for everyone.

Sending good thoughts your way,..


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
ScribblingMum
♀ Member
Member # 20097
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, September 11th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Someone here mentioned dealing w/ pain meds. confusing the depression...??? I was in a car accident in 06...and am wondering about this issue.
Anyone dealt w/ this?


~ScribblingMum~
D-D 1: 12/23/06 - Porn (dd bust him on-line)
D-D 2: 4-25-08 - Massage P.'s(new act. in pretend recov.)
D-D 3:9-9-08 Caught call m. girl
D-Day 4: 6/30/09 -: free MP g.f./prost.
D-Day 5: 1-10-10: new mp prost's.
~DONE!


Posts: 1529 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: S .CALIF.
JustWantHimBack
♀ Member
Member # 29485
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, September 16th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, I'm hoping I could get some advice. It's about my BF, hes had depression all his life, and now its gotten worse after what I've done to him. He taken over the counter sleep aid/pain relief almost everyday since April so he can go to sleep. Hes a pretty big guy and has taken them in the past so he takes way more than the recommend dose so they actually affect him.

I've been trying to get him to stop and he has a couple of times, but the past week and a half he's gone back to feeling like he doesn't want to be alive any more. He's not directly suicidal, just kinda hopes that eventually the pills will kill him even though I've told him that it will take a long time for that to happen, even if it ever does..

Anyway, I've tried getting his family involved, hasn't really helped. I've tried convincing him he should go to IC or something, but he's had bad experiences with them as a teen and wont even consider going to one.

He's stopped taking them some days when things are going good between us and I ask him not to. Some days, it doesn't matter if I ask, he takes them anyway.

We're in limbo right now, he's not sure whether he wants to be with me or not. Not quite sure what I'm asking advice on, just figured this was a better place to talk about this kind of stuff. I guess, does anyone think I'm going about this the right way? I can't physically stop him from taking them, I've thrown bottles out in the past and he just keeps buying more and hiding them. I'm hoping that if things keep going good between us and he's going out and socializing he'll stop taking them on his own.

I know I can't force him to stop if he doesn't want to, so is it reasonable approach I'm taking?

He's not having any side effects or anything, he just sometimes didn't remember if we had been intimate the night before if he had taken the pills so we've both agreed not to do anything for a while until things are settled down. Him not always remembering made him feel like crap and he didn't want to lead me on when he's still not sure what he wants.

If anything is unclear, just let me know, I'm not the greatest at explaining situations sometimes and I apologize in advance if I have made things unclear.


Me(WGF/BGF)- 24, Him(XBBF/XWBF) -26
D-Day#1 - April 7, 2010. Full Disclosure - May 27, 2010. My D-day - October 10, 2010
He had a EA/PA August-whenever.
He's now moved on to someone new. Still giving me mixed signals. Sigh.

Posts: 166 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: New York
elad
♂ Member
Member # 29497
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, September 16th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all,

Sorry, I just couldn't get through all 24 pages.....

Does anyone have any experience/comments about Citalopram Hydobromide?

I googled it and I have the gist of it, but is there anything you can tell me about it? Personal experiences??????


Me-BS
Her-WS numerous, countless A's
7 Years
7 year itch?

Posts: 173 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Winnipeg
Cliche
♀ Member
Member # 18659
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, September 17th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been on it for several years now. I started at 20 mg, went up to 30 for awhile, back to 20 and now I take 10 mg every night. I think I've had some general anxiety and off and on depression most of my life. Citalopram made a HUGE difference in my recovery after Dday. Do you have any specific questions you would like me to answer?


BS - me 55
WS - H 56
DDay 3/28/07 I was 53, H 55)
3 kids 23.21.18
married 31 years
together 30
reconciling....


Posts: 580 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: California
elad
♂ Member
Member # 29497
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, September 17th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the reply! There is no question in particular... I just had questions about it effectiveness, or if anyone had anything good or bad to say about it.


Me-BS
Her-WS numerous, countless A's
7 Years
7 year itch?

Posts: 173 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Winnipeg
going2surviveit
♂ Member
Member # 5716
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, September 21st (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I posted this in another area but I just stumbled on this area.
I went back to work in September and I was feeling very stressed. I was having problems sleeping and got momentary panic attacks at work and at home.
My doctor gave me Pristiq and told me to come back to the office in two weeks. Well, that was a week ago and I still haven't taken the medication. I went on the Internet and read some stories about the side effects. I wasn't happy to read what I read.
Anyone have any experience with this drug? I have to say that since last week, I have been functioning better. Now, I am not sure if I should go on this or stick with Melatonia that I have been taking. I discovered that at a organic food store and it's been helping. Sometimes, I have a take half a Xanax along with it when it's not. Any thoughts? thanks!


D-Day 11/22/04 (JFK got shot in the head and I got shot in the heart)
Me-BS
Her-WS (and a BIG FAT LIAR)
Children- 2 kids in the single digits
Finally divorced in 2006

Posts: 1095 | Registered: Oct 2004 | From: New York
Fireball72
♀ Member
Member # 20152
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, September 29th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

JustWantHimBack: Welcome to the forum...

Let your BF know that it's dangerous to keep taking those "Tylenol PM" style drugs for too long. They're not addictive, but at the same time, they can cause severe damage to the liver, up to and including liver failure, which is NOT the way he wants to go out, trust me on this. The danger is increased if he regularly drinks alcohol or beverages containing alcohol.

Resorting to hiding the pills from you in order to sleep, there's a big problem that I think needs to be addressed, as well as not being able to remember events of the previous night. Huge, huge, huge worry, in my opinion. If he's having that much problem in getting to sleep, he should see a doctor for something that will work better, such as Lunesta or Ambien. Continuing on the path that he's on now wlll only cause potential problems for him later down the road.

You can also tell him that OD'ing on Tylenol PM-type drugs will not kill him. Trust me - unfortunately I have experience. It won't do a thing.

going2: I've never tried Pristiq, but a couple of people that I know say it works well for them. The problem with any AD is that it's going to work differently for everyone - this is truly a case-by-case thing, unfortunately. What works for me may not work for the rest of the forum, and vice versa.

Melatonin is nice for getting to sleep, but it causes me to have really weird, vivid, whacked-out dreams. It bothered me enough so that I quit taking it after a while. Wish I could go back on it, because it did knock me out cold when I wanted to rest.

Now down to one Wellbutrin a day. So happy!


XBS - 42 and fabulous :D
I may not say much, but I'm always happy to be of help to anyone in need. :)

Posts: 592 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: The Chesapeake Bay
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 1:42 AM, October 7th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know what it is but when it gets dark @ dusk...I get really gloomy.
I wake up fine, but as the day goes on
I used to love the short days before and get depressed in the heat of summer.
My whole world is upside down since multiple D Days.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, December 19th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This thread seems to have kind of died...is anyone still out there?

I am REALLY struggling with the depression right now. Suicidal thoughts, and for the first time, thoughts of cutting.

I just had a med change, and am in weekly IC (I go tomorrow). Just trying to hang in...


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 1:35 AM, December 25th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Depression...and infidelity...are trying to ruin my Christmas.


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
DespicableMe
♀ New Member
Member # 30491
Default  Posted: 4:39 AM, December 25th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Try to enjoy this blessed day surrounded by family and friends who support and love you.


Me: 44
WH: 45
Married 14 years
14 year old son w/Autism
D-Days: They have never really stopped long enough for me to heal. He blames all affairs on my lack of libido. (Which, of course, I blame on his multiple affairs).

I am working on my 180.


Posts: 33 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: PA
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