i understand the "taking the edge off" thing with the depression and anxiety. nothing i do helps more than to keep me just barely functional. i have chronic mild depression with situational major depression. my "go-to" thought when i'm not on Anti-d's at all (like when i was pregnant or breastfeeding) is "f-it, i just want to die" or "i should just off myself." i'll think those things in response to forgetting my coffee cup for my morning drive, or because i forgot and left a load of clothes too long in the washer. lol. my psychiatrist and i laugh about that. when i get on anti-d's the suicidal stuff goes completely away. it feels like such an artificial thought pattern...instead of the "normal" way i feel on meds. i was also a bit of a "cutter" or self-injurer when i was young. i was SO surprised to feel that impulse come back. so far i haven't hurt myself. the meds definitely help with that also.
i didn't mean to write this much. i've just been struggling lately. Dday was, well...you know...but that was 8 months ago. paternity results on OC just came in one month ago and i've been a mess. sigh. people think i'm handling this so well. they should see inside my head...or into my living room somedays.
hugs to everyone who needs them. me and FWH did our MSA questionnaire last night to give to the lawyer. it was sad but amicable, like our S has been. i feel like the plain of depression before me is a long, sad, boring journey. but i'll get there. i always do.
[This message edited by stretch13 at 8:38 AM, August 15th (Sunday)]
life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac
Thanks. I am still fighting. Not for my marriage--just for my sanity.
I recently had a bad drug interaction that resulted in me being taken off of one of my ad's. Dr. said if I started feeling too bad, he would put me back on it, at a lower dose...
I am going to see him Monday.
Depression is a battle. One that I will have to fight the rest of my life.
there's just too much that time cannot erase
And the more I know, the less I understand
Because of you...I am afraid...
As for me, I am still fighting the illness, but I am slowly getting better every day. I am now in psychotherapy with a wonderful doctor (that does Sunday appointments, yet, incredibly convenient for me!!) that encourages me to release all of the anger that I hold, not only toward my XH and all of his doings, but issues that I have had with my FOO as well, things that have completely surprised me and taken me off guard. I had no idea that my upbringing was so dysfunctional!
I am not completely off of the AD's yet, but my dosage has been drastically cut from 3 meds at once to only one pill, once a day. My PT hopes to have me completely weaned off the pills by Christmastime - that would be a wonderful, wonderful present for me, as there is nothing I'd like better than to be med-free.
While I'm still not free of depression, and I still have suicidal ideations from time to time, things are better to the point where I actually have HOPE - the first time since the original (first occurrence) infidelity happened in 2001.
I hope that everyone is safe tonight. I know that things look bleak when you have "the black dog", as Churchill used to call it. But it can be managed, controlled...maybe even conquered. I'm so hoping for the third option.
((((hugs to everyone)))) Hang in there... we can make it through this!
My WH is on meds after finally seeing a psychiatrist when suicidal thoughts starting forming into plans for action. He's struggled with depression since he was a child but never talked to anyone (including me) or dealt with it.
I see many of the same behaviors in our DS12 and I know he's struggled with periodic depression based on various events, but I'm wondering if it's more than that and he doesn't know how to express it to me. DS admitted tonight that he does think about killing himself, but thoughts of family, friends, and dog keep him from pursuing it. I'm going to take him in for an eval with a psych, but this is a whole new level of scared and lost for me.
If anyone has recommendations for books I can read, resources I can turn to, please help me out.
It truly is a chemical imbalance that can be treated with the right meds in addition to counseling. It is something that has to be monitored by those around, but can definitely be treated with the right meds.
Sending up some prayers for y'all....
I am a SAHM/home school special needs kid...wish to God I could support myself. Sigh.
ANYWAY, I am on Celexa ( been for a while)...makes me kinda nauseous & other side effects were throat-closey feeling in begin. /night sweats). I actually don't have enough appetite ...think the Celexa has made this worse..(underweight)...severe situational stress...
and recently have begun to have major anxiety/dread even ON the Celexa! I have an old RX for Xanax for sleep but it makes me too tired to take it in the day for anxiety. I've also been waking up 3, 4, 5 a.m. so I took the Ambien I have for occasional use last few nights. Awful. I can't shut my thoughts off. My life has NEVER been this horrible/no hope/ financially wrecked.
If the anxiety/appetite suppression/nausea doesn't get better soon, I might try & ask doc. to switch me back to Zoloft from sev. years ago. Maybe it will help me GAIN weight! I need it.
ANYONE have more exper. w/ Celexa's side effects? Nausea espec.?
Does Xanax WORK for some of you with anxiety?
Sorry for the ramble...am really down. I think this is normal when one's 24 year marriage & life gets destroyed (sex addiction)...: Too much loss...
I was on Lexapro and xanax both taken at night. This made me so exhausted all the time. I thought the side effects would go away but still I was just so tired, it was annoying.
I went back to the dr and got Wellbutrin taken in the morning and stayed on lexapro and xanax at night. It started working better that's fore sure but I had a feeling the lexapro was not what I neeed.
I cut my lexapro in half and had already been doing 1/2 xanax for a couple of weeks. So far it's been a week and I can say I'm nowhere near as tired anymore. I don't egt hysterical but I do have down days, talking w/ FWH is helping with that. I really want to get off meds all together but the Wellbutrin I think is going to be the one I stay on for a few months.
xanax works for some for anxiety....it works for my niece...
For me, xanax doesn't work, but ativan does, without the sleepiness.
If the celexa is not working for you, please do see your dr. If the zoloft worked for you in the past, it may be what you need now. I have learned from experience, if whatever I am taking isn't working for me, I take myself in to the dr. and ask for something else. Not everything works the same for everyone.
Sending good thoughts your way,..
I've been trying to get him to stop and he has a couple of times, but the past week and a half he's gone back to feeling like he doesn't want to be alive any more. He's not directly suicidal, just kinda hopes that eventually the pills will kill him even though I've told him that it will take a long time for that to happen, even if it ever does..
Anyway, I've tried getting his family involved, hasn't really helped. I've tried convincing him he should go to IC or something, but he's had bad experiences with them as a teen and wont even consider going to one.
He's stopped taking them some days when things are going good between us and I ask him not to. Some days, it doesn't matter if I ask, he takes them anyway.
We're in limbo right now, he's not sure whether he wants to be with me or not. Not quite sure what I'm asking advice on, just figured this was a better place to talk about this kind of stuff. I guess, does anyone think I'm going about this the right way? I can't physically stop him from taking them, I've thrown bottles out in the past and he just keeps buying more and hiding them. I'm hoping that if things keep going good between us and he's going out and socializing he'll stop taking them on his own.
I know I can't force him to stop if he doesn't want to, so is it reasonable approach I'm taking?
He's not having any side effects or anything, he just sometimes didn't remember if we had been intimate the night before if he had taken the pills so we've both agreed not to do anything for a while until things are settled down. Him not always remembering made him feel like crap and he didn't want to lead me on when he's still not sure what he wants.
If anything is unclear, just let me know, I'm not the greatest at explaining situations sometimes and I apologize in advance if I have made things unclear.
Sorry, I just couldn't get through all 24 pages.....
Does anyone have any experience/comments about Citalopram Hydobromide?
I googled it and I have the gist of it, but is there anything you can tell me about it? Personal experiences??????
Let your BF know that it's dangerous to keep taking those "Tylenol PM" style drugs for too long. They're not addictive, but at the same time, they can cause severe damage to the liver, up to and including liver failure, which is NOT the way he wants to go out, trust me on this. The danger is increased if he regularly drinks alcohol or beverages containing alcohol.
Resorting to hiding the pills from you in order to sleep, there's a big problem that I think needs to be addressed, as well as not being able to remember events of the previous night. Huge, huge, huge worry, in my opinion. If he's having that much problem in getting to sleep, he should see a doctor for something that will work better, such as Lunesta or Ambien. Continuing on the path that he's on now wlll only cause potential problems for him later down the road.
You can also tell him that OD'ing on Tylenol PM-type drugs will not kill him. Trust me - unfortunately I have experience. It won't do a thing.
going2: I've never tried Pristiq, but a couple of people that I know say it works well for them. The problem with any AD is that it's going to work differently for everyone - this is truly a case-by-case thing, unfortunately. What works for me may not work for the rest of the forum, and vice versa.
Melatonin is nice for getting to sleep, but it causes me to have really weird, vivid, whacked-out dreams. It bothered me enough so that I quit taking it after a while. Wish I could go back on it, because it did knock me out cold when I wanted to rest.
Now down to one Wellbutrin a day. So happy!
I am REALLY struggling with the depression right now. Suicidal thoughts, and for the first time, thoughts of cutting.
I just had a med change, and am in weekly IC (I go tomorrow). Just trying to hang in...
Try to enjoy this blessed day surrounded by family and friends who support and love you.
I am working on my 180.