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When A WS Leaves For Their OP

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SI Staff posted 4/5/2007 18:40 PM

Support for BS's that have been left for the OP.

lra90 posted 4/5/2007 18:44 PM

Me Me

dante_hicks posted 4/5/2007 19:49 PM

Me too, but I'm told she's no longer with him.

lra90 posted 4/5/2007 19:53 PM

Mine's still seeing HER. Out with HER tonight I suspect.

He moves out of here, in with his parents and then has sleepovers with HER when he feels like it.

His parents are fully aware of what's going on but are reluctant to get involved.


eeyore56 posted 4/5/2007 20:15 PM

Well, I fit in here.

I have 2 kids away at college and even when they come home for a visit he takes off to be with her. Neither son has met her yet and I am thankful for that but I know it will happen someday. I am not looking forward to that day. Lucky for me it is mainly her that is holding back. She says she isn't ready yet.

lra90 posted 4/5/2007 20:17 PM

My 5yo has met her, even played with her kids.

My older girls say they'll never meet her; don't want to. Have also told their dad if he forces HER on them, all Hell will break loose.

If I were him, I'd believe them.

eeyore56 posted 4/5/2007 20:24 PM

I have said this before but my youngest (19) has said that the only reason why he wants to meet her is to tell her to go to hell. He stays with XH when he comes home for a visit (still feels like home to him). My oldest (22)stays with me when he comes home for a visit so chances of meeting her are much less. The oldest barely speaks to my X.

It is difficult for kids no matter what age.

tech453 posted 4/5/2007 20:29 PM

my ws moved in with om about two months ago just a little over a month after d-day seems like there moving real quick she has gotten real close with oms s we have no kids of our own cause i cant have them and i feel like this is one of the reasons why she is doing this. we will be m 18 years next month so needless to say this has been really rough to handle. and then today i seen the three of them together so my day has been really messed up.

followedmyheart posted 4/5/2007 20:30 PM

Mine has been living with the whore for over a year. Moved 1000 miles away without even a goodbye to DDs.

lra90 posted 4/5/2007 20:37 PM


Our 17th wedding anniversary is April 21. I know how hard it is to have those special dates looming out there waiting to bite you in the ass.

tech453 posted 4/5/2007 20:38 PM

the om is (was) a friend of ours and my ww has talked about how she thought he was weird and didnt keep his house clean and now shes living with him does that make any sense

tech453 posted 4/5/2007 20:43 PM

what do you plan on doing that day i've been thinking about that the closer it gets cause i know it is going to be a very bad day i was thinking about going to tulsa to visit my coisin but i dont know if thats the best thing to do or not i dont want to be that far from home and depresser at the same time whats your thoughts?

Ivette posted 4/5/2007 20:43 PM

My stbxh is still with the ow. I'm still dealing with it don't know how to feel or what to do any more.

[This message edited by Ivette at 10:03 AM, July 24th (Tuesday)]

lra90 posted 4/5/2007 20:44 PM

Not at all. But then, cheating on someone you're "supposed" to love more than life itself doesn't make much sense to me either.

lra90 posted 4/5/2007 20:49 PM


I have 3 kids and that just happens to be my weekend with them. My 5yo son is playing T-ball and he has a game that day. As such, I'll see my E(stranged)WH that morning. Not sure how to handle that one yet.

It will bother me more than I probably realize rigt now, since he goes with HER to get her kids (2 hours away) on the Friday nights he doesn't have his kids-which will be the night before our anni.

Actually, I think going to visit your cousin is a GOOD idea. It gets you out of town and you'll be spending the day with people you know love and care about you.

tech453 posted 4/5/2007 20:50 PM

you bring up a very good point ira. my ww still says she didnt cheat on me cause nothing p happened until after we S even though she had been lying to me and was starting to have feelings for him before we S oh and its my fault too isnt that amazing!

tech453 posted 4/5/2007 20:52 PM

do they really believe the CRAP they tell us!

tech453 posted 4/5/2007 20:55 PM

oops i think i was starting to vent anyway i wish you the best of luck on the 21st.

lra90 posted 4/5/2007 21:15 PM

OK...first off, if the 2 of you were still married (even tho separated) and she stepped out on you, it's STILL cheating. No matter what she says.

Second, (saying this VERY sarcastically) It's always OUR fault. No matter what, it's our fault. The sooner we BS's realize this, the better off we'll be.

Yes, they do believe the crap that comes out of their mouths. If they didn't, then they'd have to actually see what their actions and decisions have done to those around them. And it's not a pretty sight.

My EWH actually told me shortly after D-day that he had a hard time looking at me because he could see the pain in my eyes and to know that he was the cause of all that pain was too much for him to bear.

He also said shortly after that, that he just couldn't stay in this house anymore because he knew that he would never be able to "live it down"-meaning that he was afraid I would never forget that he cheated and therefore never let him forget that he cheated.

Thanks about the 21st. I'll need it to get through the morning.

SithGoddess posted 4/6/2007 08:53 AM

SithGoddess checking in.

click4it posted 4/6/2007 13:10 PM

me three checking in.

Thank you DS and MH and mods for putting this in.

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