Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Hurtbuthopeful35 (44302)

I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: When A WS Leaves For Their OP
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 6:30 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've spent the morning reading this forum and boy does it hit home.
He's a changed person
This is so true, it is like an alien took over his body. Thank God I don't like the new person he has become. The worse part is he thinks he is os much better now.

she detached emotionally without ever telling me.

My STBXH did the same thing. One minute we are building our dream house and the next he is gone. He says he has a future with her. I hope so and I hope it s miserable.

For those who have reconciled your spouses after something like this- I think your amazing and I hope it goes well for you. I had hope I the beginning but have since lost hope for that fr us.
He is in MLC mode and I m part of his old life.

I lve wth very mixed feeling and hope they will come together in a positive way soon. I dread the first of everything to come. Birthday, holidays, and all the other things that make a persons life. I am trying to look at it as a challenge and enjoy at least some part of each day I have and hopefully I'll enjoy more and mre of each day.


Posts: 120 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
LeftBehind08
♀ Member
Member # 38705
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sleepingbeauty -- it will get better. Take care of yourself. Just know that people here will listen. Will care.

As for your first of everything -- It is a bit dreadful - but only at first. From my personal experience, I started re-doing EVERYTHING in a way to make it MINE. He was not going to have the control to make it awful and I was the only one who could make it wonderful again.

So I did.


Sometimes it's lonely, Sometimes it's only me & the shadows that fill this room...
But it's a great day to be alive & the sun still shines when I close my eyes ~Travis Tritt

Posts: 77 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington
shygirl07
♀ Member
Member # 42972
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my case , it was a WW Boyfriend.. who left me for his WW ex girlfriend who had previously left him .. I spent 7 years with him and he up and did it ...granted we had our rough patches but geez never thought he would do that..

they got pregnant literaly 6 months after.. I think she moved in a week or two after we broke up .. but he had been seeing her or planning it before we broke up.. I never got the full story nor do I care... its just crazy.... but at the same time I needed it to happen.. maybe hes changed but he was a jerk and thank goodness im away from that ...


me:27
him:30

OW was his ex he always convinced was his friend .. moved in her and knocked her up , got together behind my back


Ddays : many in 2009 and 2010
final dday : Sept 2012 after being broken up 3 weeks..
"when you know bette


Posts: 57 | Registered: Apr 2014
shygirl07
♀ Member
Member # 42972
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sleepingbeauty,
my WWEX turned into a completly different person as well.. I had no clue who this person was.. they acted like I was nothing and garbage on their foot and this person who had previously hurt them badly was now god.. so much in a sense that they had a kid with them.... the last words we shared were him speaking to me like a child and telling me to accpet that they were happy and in love and that shes a smoker and lazy like him and hes the happiest hes ever been...

to say I was stunned is probably an understatement. I didnt matter nor did my feelings but him bragging and gloating about his insta-love mattered..... I sent her one message after and told her everything, being careful to not fully bad mouth him. I kept it facts only. Like sweetie this is who you are with. Ive hurt he has been unhappy and other stuff but i really try to not care as much as i can.....

they say u see someones true colors when things END... so true!


me:27
him:30

OW was his ex he always convinced was his friend .. moved in her and knocked her up , got together behind my back


Ddays : many in 2009 and 2010
final dday : Sept 2012 after being broken up 3 weeks..
"when you know bette


Posts: 57 | Registered: Apr 2014
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why do they feel they have to tell us about their new love and how happy they are now?

My stbxh is out in public with it and he is trying to get our son to meet it. So far the son refuse s.


Posts: 120 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
luv2swim
♀ Member
Member # 13154
Default  Posted: 3:50 AM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In the FWIW department, I want to assure whose WS left for their OPs that time really can, and does heal. For us, the bomb drop was in 2006. There was much drama and confusion until I figured out that he was with OW (2007 before I figured out what was really going on). Divorce in 2009. My ex married his OP in 2010. They are still married, but all is not unicorns and rainbows from what our children relate. I honestly hope they will stay together, simple because one of my nightmares is that my ex will show up at my door begging forgiveness.

It is not that I can NOT forgive him. It is that I no longer care so much. I hope that he finds all he is seeking in HIS life. But I am not willing to be his doormat, on his journey to that happiness (does this make sense?).

We have children who find their father "different". They tell me he has few friends. They say that OW is "passive aggressive" and that their father is "strange".

After 24 years of marriage and now, 4 years divorced I can say there is space. Space to look upon this human and simply wish that he find whatever it is he is seeking. And, I know this is his journey. I am not willing to be his excuse, blame target, or ... mate. He WAS a fabulous husband and father, until he was not. I used to blame OW. Now, I believe this is HIS journey. She is just one of his tools. Maybe they will stay together. Maybe not. Meanwhile, I have my own life to life. FULLY... and, I believe because my beloved X husband is married to OW, I am greatly spared the tangles of a mixed up mate.

I kind of want to send her roses! And I suppose this sentiment is not so popular here. But in time, perhaps for many of you it will be!


Me: BS
Him: NPD WS
Married 24 years
incredible kids
D day: 2006 ... he left to live with OW.
Divorced: 2009
WS + OW: Married 2011

Posts: 350 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: US
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wanted to send her roses with his wedding ring but decided to pawn it instead.

Posts: 120 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
LeftBehind08
♀ Member
Member # 38705
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wanted to send her roses with his wedding ring but decided to pawn it instead.

Yea, don't waste a single cent on them - go buy yourself those beautiful roses!!


Sometimes it's lonely, Sometimes it's only me & the shadows that fill this room...
But it's a great day to be alive & the sun still shines when I close my eyes ~Travis Tritt

Posts: 77 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wanted to send her a thank you - I did everything BUT send it.

She wouldn't have appreciated it. 😊


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4855 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
LeftBehind08
♀ Member
Member # 38705
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wanted to send a big bad Karma present directly to their doorstep every day for years. Sadly, I haven't seen one delivery


Sometimes it's lonely, Sometimes it's only me & the shadows that fill this room...
But it's a great day to be alive & the sun still shines when I close my eyes ~Travis Tritt

Posts: 77 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got to see them in action in public for the first time ever. It was really strange. At first I was slightly pissed, not even truly pissed. I had to sit and wonder at my reaction or lack of reaction.

They put on quite a show he was groping her and they were practically having sex on the dance floor. I don't know how much was for my benefit but I didn't have the reaction I believe my STBXH was hoping for. I believe he wanted me to make a hell of a scene and cause all kinds of trouble. I did nothing not even when I came face to face to him.

MY IC says I have detached. Probably a good thing. My GF however was a different story. I had to stop her. from going after him.
She kept telling me his AP wasn't all that. I already knew that but my GF was amazed at how truly all that the AP isn't.

He looked pathetic trying to keep up with his young thing and I could think was what an old fool he is.


Posts: 120 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
Numb2014
♀ Member
Member # 43919
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Third time I've been left for the OP. Its ok. Third times a charm. I know my worth, and she can have him, because guaranteed, he will leave her for OP as well.

From what I have heard, she acts like her shit doesn't stink. She has a huge head, and just overall isn't a nice person to those around her...she thinks she's better than everyone, which is funny, because the last 14 years I spent with xh, he was never like that and despised people like that. Plus, due to her culture, I have heard that her culture of women take NO SHIT from men, and if this is the case (she was raised in her country), then he is in for one hell of a ride! He thought *I* was bad??

I know that the best revenge to is be happy and live a fulfilling life. I try to remain as NC as possible. I am not looking forward to the day that I have to pick my dd up from "their" house.


BW-me (31)
WXH-him (30)
DD-4, DS-14
High school sweethearts. 14 years gone. He doesn't even care. It meant nothing to him.
False R-3/2011 to 6/2014
Found evidence going back 2 years. He's moving in with OW.

Posts: 145 | Registered: Jun 2014
Topic Posts: 832
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42

Return to Forum: I Can Relate Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.