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User Topic: Infidelity During an Illness or Chronic Illness
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Member # 21861
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, April 15th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I started to suffer with depression in 1998, after the death of my father.
Up to this time I was a successful, highly qualified professional.

I had drug treatment and counselling, but eventually I could not take the pressure of the job any longer, and was pensioned off at the ripe old age of 41.

Within a year, my FWS decided that she couldn't handle this, despite being a nurse, and basically left me to sort out my problems, while she started a long-term EA, and worked on her career.

After 6 years on medication, I finally got better and stopped it, ironically just as the EA became a PA.
It took another two years for my brain to de-fog and realise something was wrong in our marriage, by which time the A was long over, though they still kept in touch regularly, and this was how I found out.

We are trying hard to R, but I am still bitter about being left without any emotional support during the worst time of my life.

I am also in fear of getting ill again. I am worried too about going back on antidepressants - FWS is dead against it - she says I have come so far and don't need them now. I think it is more to do with her feeling guilty if I needed them because of the A.

Me BS 50
Her FWS 49 - Joystring
M 26 years
2 grown-up children - one hers, one ours
D Day 20/04/2007

Posts: 226 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: London, England
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Member # 20940
Default  Posted: 2:55 AM, May 27th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I am living the same story, just different details. I have the same fears you have with one exception...I know I will get worse (no cure for agressive MS).

WH sat in doctor's office and told me I was making everything up, but now denies he said it.

I watched my mother die slowly from heart disease. She stayed with my alcoholic father (who cared nothing about her) because she needed health insurance. Ironically, I am now in the same situation and know I cannot stay in my marriage. I am fortunate that my sister will take me in when the time comes.

You are still a young man and in basic good health which is a blessing. Do you have extended family that would help you out if needed?
Do your laws permit you to appoint someone other than your wife to make your medical decisions? Would this make you feel more in control?

I am also going to suggest that you do some volunteer work. No matter how bad our situation is, there is always someone worse off. I plan to heed my own advice once I am settled. Think about being more of a "joiner" in general maybe church or the local dart or bowls league.

I am around on a daily basis, just don't always post. Feel free to pm me any time.

P.S. I lived in the Ipswich area for four years during the mid 80's so I have many fond memories of your country.

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."

The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you're not wor

Posts: 368 | Registered: Sep 2008
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Member # 24422
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, July 24th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just noticed this thread. It isn't very active, but figured I'd post and offer support to anyone who might need it. I guess we all do or we wouldn't be here... duh.

I was Dx'ed with Relapsing/Remitting MS last year. I have a spinal lesion that causes a lot of pain. Like so many of you, I had allowed my disease to get the best of me, even though most people would say that my attitude was amazing. I gave myself too much permission to be sick, if that makes sense.

The details of the A are in my profile, and while it took place after diagnosis, my illness wasn't really a factor. Our marriage had been in trouble for several years, although I honestly didn't see it that way. FWH admits that he decided I didn't love him and gave himself permission to be selfish. You could say that he entered the fog years before the actual A.

We are in R and doing very well, even though DDay wasn't all that long ago. I attribute this to the work of the Lord in our lives. Also, SI has been an enormous help in giving me practical advice and hope. I pray I can give back in some way.

BW (me) 43
WH 44
DDay May 31, 2009
M 21 yrs
C Three 17, 15, 11
Reconciled? - "I will sing of Your mercy that leads me through valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy." ~Jars of Clay

"This too shall pass.... like a kidney stone."~Mom

Posts: 343 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: USA
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Member # 25525
Default  Posted: 3:00 AM, September 25th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess I kind of fit in here. WH had his affair while my baby was undergoing active treatment for his Cancer. I had to be my son's nurse, mother, caregiver, advocate, legal advocate- everything.

I tried so hard to keep our family together and ignite some romance with my H (We boinked in the hospital for chrissakes!) but he wanted no part of me. I was the human sacrifice, it didn't matter what I was going through.

Ugh. He took so much from me and my son. I was so depressed and suicidal and every day was such a struggle. I made pacts not to kill myself until my son no longer needed me for his absolute survival. Thankfully I survived that period and I now want to live for me, but I'm left with all of this mess and I'm still responsible for my son's care and all of the impact that it has on the rest of our family. (I also have two five-year-olds, one of whom is special needs due to neurological issues.)

I just want some GOOD to come our way for once!

D-Day 05/09/09
D-Day #2, 31/01/10 Same OW earlier affair.
Now STBXWH- LTA with my mate-poaching "BF" during my son's cancer journey.
"Nothing is a greater impediment to being on good terms with others than being ill at ease with yo

Posts: 241 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Canada
♂ Member
Member # 10807
Default  Posted: 3:54 AM, September 25th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It does seem that there are some people who take from a relationship. They may give in other ways (work, money, housework etc) but emotionally and in terms of the relationship they are takers rather than givers.
If their partner can no longer provide them with the emotional support and instead demands or needs it they just seem unable to do that. It is as if they are driven by a need to find that support elsewhere, or find more support and validation than one sick partner can provide.
Infidelity at times of crisis or illness seems to be very common.

Me BS 48, WW 47 Three sons

Posts: 1494 | Registered: May 2006 | From: UK
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Member # 26797
Default  Posted: 3:44 AM, December 17th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, yes, too much time on this forum tonight! LOL.

It's funny because the reason my DH got involved with me was because I was so sick and wouldn't make as many sexual demands on him as a healthy woman would.

Yeah, I know, a really f***ed up situation.

The reason I stayed involved with him (even after years of pity sex) was because I watned to believe that his love for porn would (somehow) translate into sex with me.

Wish I knew then what I know now. (Think, Mirry and Zack Make A Porno)(Only in reverse order.)


By the time we're old enough to figure out what love is all about, we're too feeble to protest what it's done to us.

Posts: 5 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Colorado
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Member # 23060
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, January 13th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First of all, my thoughts and prayers to all of you that have gone through such crises.

I was diagnosed with Stage II ovarian cancer in 2003. I had a complete hysterectomy & 6 chemo treatments. It became physically impossible for me to have sex for a while. 6 months after my last chemo, my WS was shopping for sexual partners on the internet and found a treasure trove. Even though I eventually could have sexual relations again with him, he continued with his new found "hobby" until I discovered his emails to his various partners.

Even though we have R, I will never forgive him for what he did.

As I told him, the pain of his infidelity was worse than finding out I had cancer.

Me - BS 61
Him - FWS 60
M 28 yrs, together 30 yrs.
2 adult offspring
D-Day: 8-2-07, TT for 6 weeks
15 random sexual encounters over 4 years.

Posts: 891 | Registered: Feb 2009
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Member # 26894
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, May 10th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my WS's first EA was during the three month lead-up to the removal of a bleeding ovarian cyst. man i was sick. it took a while for the docs to become convinced the giant thing wasn't going away on it's own (4 months & 4 ER trips). i guess it was stressful on WH and he probably got laid slightly less than normal (like less than 2-3 times per week). he was writing superb*@ch the night before our first anniversary. DDay was just day's later. it made me want to burn the sweet anniversary present i worked so hard on, and take back all the little "treats" he got that night. i remember coming from a stressful doc appt to have lunch with him at work and he wasn't there. he had "forgotten" that we made plans and already had lunch with another "coworker." yep.

second A was a PA when i was 8 months prego. that resulted in an OC with a foreign, nasty girl who's been through 3 guys since. i was pregnant, so apparently then he was also not getting quite the sexual gratification he needed. he was still going for it 3-4 times a week with an unenthusiastic me as big as a houseboat. guess i could have given it up and kept my family together. yeah. i think only guilt kept it in his pants during my recovery - that and all the texts from psycho pregnant foreign scam girl. funny thing is that he "blames" his A on being freaked out about becoming a first time dad. the irony makes me want to vomit.

he wonders why i don't think i could survive another pregnancy with him (TRIGGERS???). or god forbid i get a chronic illness of some kind. hello elizabeth edwards! let's start a club!

life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac

Posts: 3929 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: east coast
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Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, May 14th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am more than 3 yrs post dday. And, have spent a lot of time on SI and on other Infidelity sites.....and I definitely see a pattern....and , unfortunately it seems that it's mostly men that have affairs during an illness or crisis in the family.
Women tend to rally in a crisis....and men...well, it seems that when the going gets tough....the men have affairs to escape it!
In our case we were dealing with very serious medical issues with our daughter... I was completely consumed by it all...running from one specialist to another...meanwhile my husband? not so much... a few months after my daughter's diagnosis...he started a 5 yr LTA with MOW co-worker....

Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA

Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
Blue Monday
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Member # 28176
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, May 21st (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have shied away from posting in here on several occasions because of the nature of my ongoing illness. And that I've struggled with both admitting it's real and with my defensiveness over the inability of most of my doctors to label what is wrong with me, as well as some of them saying it doesn't exist.

But I'm just going to out with it and trust that those of you on here will understand...

Off and on over the past 7 years I've had severe chronic pain. This is coupled by unexplained sudden and severe weight loss. Some days I'm great and functioning like any normal person. But other days I have pain attacks that will leave me floored until I can pass out for hours.

In the past it has been diagnosed as everything from epilepsy to hypochondria. I have begun a new round of tests during this period to try and find some better explanation. And hopefully treatment.

My WH keeps telling me that my sickness has had nothing to do with his A's. It's pretty hard to believe when I am in the depths of feeling like shit and unable to even stand up on my own. I mean, who would want to be with a person who can't engage fully with them and can't even quantify why they are sick and what that means? Not to mention that sometimes I get so mentally foggy during and after the pain that I can't even speak coherently.

I'm still early on in the latest rounds of doctors, but at least some of the news is promising. We now know again that I don't have hyperthyroidism, anemia, rheumatoid arthritis, or celiac disease. My new doc. has (thankfully) thrown out the epilepsy diagnoses. But still all we do know is that I have a severe vitamin D deficiency and a hip that ends up twisted out of socket on it's own every other week or so. There is talk of fibromyalgia, but as a last resort blanket term. And not all of the symptoms fall into line with that diagnosis. And beyond the times that I am in pain, I am incredibly strong and resilient.

What has been really hard lately, after WH's A's is that he has been trying really hard to actually take care of me in meaningful ways when the pain hits me. Not just letting me pass out but actively trying to do things that help my pain level. He's even picked me up and carried me on a couple occasions. And on one really bad day he let me cry on the floor and just sat with me and ran his fingers through my hair.

And some of this just feels compromising. Like I'm not strong enough to set the terms and that some days I do need help. And it hurts that he has been there for me now. And is being here for me now. I know that on a few occasions when I had passed out on the couch from all of it he had gone online and engaged in sexual activity while I was reliably out and down for the count. I know he can't do that now, both by his throwing out his cell phone and computer and me locking my computer out by password. But the old feelings of betrayal still surface and I wonder if he would if the opportunity was there. Even though he has removed it from his own life himself.

And it's so confusing that I do want him here, and don't want to refuse his help. But that I also don't trust him. It's a really hard place to be. I don't know if this is who he really intends to be, if he means everything he is doing for me right now. Or if it's just some sort of in.

He is supporting me through this latest round of doctors and physical therapists. Encouraging me to keep going and to stand my ground on what I am willing to accept as treatment options.

And part of this is all centered around me feeling guilty for being sick. Like it's unfair of me to burden another person, albeit someone who has thoroughly betrayed me, with my own inability to function sometimes. And I'm worried that my decision to either stay or leave may be colored by my health. And that just feels like one of the biggest bad compromises I could make of myself. Because even though I do have these problems, I am still a full fledged human being who does not and should not be judged by their sickness. And I'm also so scared that if he really does take his IC seriously and finds his path to mental wellness that he'll definitely not want to be saddled with my problems. Even if I do decide to stay. He may not.

It just complicates everything so much.

And I guess the most fair thing to say is that I still struggle with not wanting to take anything on the terms of what is wrong with me physically. But somewhere also knowing that I have to. It's almost like I deny myself the permission to really be sick. And in doing so make it all even that much worse.

Has anyone else here struggled with allowing their WH to help them after the A? Or have any advice on how to tell if it's really genuine help?

I don't know if I'll ever get better, and I don't know if I could ever really believe that another healthy minded person would choose to stay in a relationship with a chronically ill partner. Does anyone here have advice?

Sorry for the long rambling post, but I hope some of what I was trying to say has come through.

And thanks.

Posts: 55 | Registered: Apr 2010
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Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, May 21st (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before I found SI, I often felt like my chronic depression drove my h to having the most recent A. That was part of his excuse right after DDay.

When I found SI, it was like an ah-ha moment. It wasn't the depression that caused the A. It obviously caused problems in our M but it did not cause the A. My h made the choice to talk to another woman. He made the choice to create a relationship with her. That had nothing to do with me or the chronic depression.

Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11465 | Registered: Dec 2009
Blue Monday
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Member # 28176
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, May 21st (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH has been really careful to not cite my illness as reason for his multiple A's.

I like how you put that, how it obviously caused problems, but was not the cause of the A. That's kind of hard to keep in mind sometimes, but really true. Thank you.

I do sometimes wonder, too, if he chose to be with me because he could get away with it around someone who is sick. That I may accept less from a person because I am ill sometimes. I know this is something that I have to address both in IC and MC, but I know this is going to be one of my major issues.

But I do feel inferior because of it sometimes. And I struggle with that, which I'm sure is part of the problem. And I do have a lot of defensiveness and feeling the need to continually prove myself sort of issues. And truth be told, I can see how in some sense that helped to push him away and make him feel useless in the face of my pain.

And now it's almost as if I don't believe that it's not a big issue for him because he insists it isn't a big issue for him. I just don't get that.

Posts: 55 | Registered: Apr 2010
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Member # 20940
Default  Posted: 1:11 AM, May 25th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been hoping for this thread to heat up for three years. Woohoo!

The link above describes me to a T. Diagnosed with now SPMS in 2004 after 5 years of tests. On day of diagnosis WH of 30 years turned on me when doctor left the office to look for radiologist's report and hissed, "See she didn't mention MS...this is all in your mind, there is nothing wrong with you". He now denies ever saying this.

He had already told me my tests were costing him too much money. I was working full-time and carrying my own insurance. WH had his employer's insurance and we had basic Tricare from the military years. At the time of the $$ comment he had paid $200 out of pocket (for 12 weeks of PT on the arm I could not use)and when the company audited their books at the end of the year they refunded him $180. My response was that if it was his health I would think it worth any cost (I was a sucker before the A)

My father passed in January 2008 and my sister and I inherited two very small, totally paid for homes in our hometown (WH's hometown, too). I am executor of the estate and have struggled to keep houses because they are in poor shape in a bad part of town, hence nearly worthless except to the tax man who seems to think they are mansions.

We also inherited enough cash to keep things going for a while. I live in one and am trying to rent the other.

In October 2008 WH removed me from joint checking and savings (which he has done before) and has sent me no support since. He failed to change his bank password and does not know I can still see that he spends an average of $1000 a month in "cash".

Since my credit cards are almost maxed out I have two choices. One is to remain here, file for divorce in order to force him into paying support, lose his great insurance (convert to COBRA, I guess) and eventually lose all my inheritance paying medical bills OR stay here, continue draining my inheritance, show my face at "home" once in a while (cross-country plane trip) and hope that since I don't interfere in his life I get to keep his insurance and he gets to keep filing joint tax returns and my half of our estate (my family money will go to my sister) when I die. It's a lose-lose for me.

For those of you who are in R how much did the insurance issue influence you? After 37 years of marriage losing medical insurance scares me more than losing my cheating spouse.

Do you trust you WS to make your medical decisions? I have made changes to my will to ensure my sister has my medical power of attorney. WH was barely able to make medical decisions that benefit me before the A and I certainly do not trust him to do that now. Neither of my adult daughters would be any good at medical decisions either, especially since I am the B that is mistreating Daddy (no they do not know).

Here's to the Elizabeth Edwards club!

[This message edited by realgood2u at 1:15 AM, May 25th (Tuesday)]

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."

The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you're not wor

Posts: 368 | Registered: Sep 2008
Blue Monday
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Member # 28176
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, May 29th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That was a good link, thank you.

During my last round of doctor's visits I took him off the list of contacts and reverted my contacts to my best friend and my parents. He is also off my ICE contacts in my phone.

It's a jumble in my head whether or not I think he would do what was in my best interest, and that's why I took him off. I hope he would, but I just don't know. And if it comes down to an emergency that not knowing is both confusing and sad. But also not worth the risk.

As for the money aspect, I suppose I am pretty lucky to be in the place that I am. I work full time and carry my own insurance. There is debt there for me, but right now it is debt I have some handle on.

I have not told him that he is off of all my medical contact lists.

Posts: 55 | Registered: Apr 2010
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Member # 29084
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, July 24th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My story is a little different my WH is the one with the illness. I have taken care of him for 12 years and then he leaves me for her. The worst thing is that she does not even care about his medical issues I went to every doctor app. i could he has been with her for 4 months and has yet to meet a doctor. Instead she brings her kids and sits in the car why he goes in. I dont understand why he would want a women that does not even care enough to learn about his illness.

Me BS 39
Him Wh 44
Ow 24
Dday 02/06/2008 had know before but got proof
married 12 years
WH moved out moved out 03/30/2010
WH moved home on 1/2/2011

Posts: 4 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: missouri
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Member # 29137
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, July 24th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Recently found out that my H had an out-of-state A 10 yrs ago. (He went on 2 "Business trips" to see her over the 1yr period; the rest of time they communicated via chat/cell phone). His A occurred during the timeframe that I was very sick with an auto-immune disease. He had a 2nd A 7 yrs ago with a local woman. (lasted approx 3 months). He indicates he's had no contact with either of these women since the PA's ended. My fear.. and I've told him this multiple times... how do I know that he won't seek out someone else if I get sick again? BTW.. I've been in remission for 10 years. He's indicated the A's weren't triggered by my illness, but I have so many doubts.

Me - BS, 49
Him - WH, 49
Married 19yrs
D-Day, 5/29/10
1st A - EA/PA, 1998-2003(??) Long Distance
2nd A - PA, 2003-2004(??) Local

"You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul"

Posts: 187 | Registered: Jul 2010
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Member # 20940
Default  Posted: 1:10 AM, September 12th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


There was an episode of House where one of Wilson's friends was dying. He had left his wife of many years and their child for younger woman.

The ex and daughter came to his bedside. Ex made the medical decision he could not. He sent younger woman away. Happy ending? No.

Of course, House cured him and Wilson was stunned to find younger woman back at his bedside instead of ex and daughter. He told Wilson that his ex was strong and always able to make the hard decisions. BUT, new honey was the one he had fun with.

Speaks volumes to me.

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."

The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you're not wor

Posts: 368 | Registered: Sep 2008
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Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, November 22nd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't post here @all. fWH has a chronic illness. We are attempting R#3 right now for past 2 years. fWH's health has taken a turn for the worse. I know I am supposed to be supportive. He is going to see ILs this afternoon, not sure what he'll say to them, but decided to not take COM.

I know it's stupid, but I know he loved (loves?) OW. I keep wondering if he'll try soon to go see OW this week (or tonight)...even though she's supposedly newly Christian as of about 1 year ago. I'm scared he will need to see her...tell her he lied, that he still loves her, & how sorry he was for not leaving me for her & OC.

And, I'm scared he will die. I have never been able to forgive him, as he feels no remourse for 2 of the 3 As w/OW....and does not regret giving OW OC, even though she isn't a good mother.

A#3 occurred several years after fWH was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident. After being his caregiver, when he wasn't able to do all the things he used to, I don't think OW would've ever stuck by his side had she been there instead. OW called ILs when fWH was hurt (she was mOW by then & carrying BH#2's child)...and told them how much she loved fWH & that SHE should've been the one taking care of him in the hospital instead of me. MIL said neuroICU was only for family & she wasn't family. Well, that was the story I was told many-many years later.

He cheated during A#3, because he wanted to feel like a man our lovelife had dwindled after about 2 years after his accident due to my low sex drive & stress over being caregiver & feeling underappreciated.

Do you make nice & try to forgive incase he passes away soon? Or keep going business-as-usual & just keep praying he will survive & some day you might have forgiveness in your heart?

Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
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Member # 32015
Default  Posted: 5:34 AM, May 13th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I belong here. I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast cancer in April of 09, and just found out that my WH started an affair 12/09, just 2 months after my double mastectomy and full hysterectomy. I am trying to find the truth of if it even started before that, but it's hard to prove without proof as you all know. I felt like a freak all last year, like nothing and made excuses for his behavior. I didn't want to believe that he would actually do that to me in such a horrific time in my life. I still have not had reconstruction as I only recently became eligible.

Me BS 32
Him WH 40
Whorefaced gutter pig: Old HS gfriend, single (thanks SI for the name:)
DS 5 yrs, DD 4 yrs

DD1 1/11, DD2 4/11 and the TT just keeps on coming.. but is slowing down

Posts: 346 | Registered: Apr 2011
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Member # 28362
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, May 21st (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Take care yourself. This crap can bring a healthy person down, so be careful.


Posts: 787 | Registered: Apr 2010
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