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User Topic: Agnostic/Atheist Support Group
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Happy  Posted: 3:03 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I have to share this...

I was outside with my 4yr old daughter last night. All the neighbors were out and the kids were playing together. We were hanging out on my neighbor's porch.

A guy comes up and wants to "spread the good news" and invite us to his Baptist church. I am the only atheist (that I know of) and I'm not "out" to my neighbors so I just ignored the guy. My neighbors all politely declined and after he gave his speech about Jeebus loving us all and blah, blah, blah, he moved on. My daughter walked past him, looked up, wrinkled her nose, and rolled her eyes at him, which I found highly amusing. The guy was really weird and he was ranting.

He made his way across the street and managed to corner a poor teenager. As the teen tried to extract himself the nutjob got louder and louder and was basically screaming about being saved and trying to scare the kid.

My husband missed all the fun because he was inside working.

That night at dinner I was telling him about it but hadn't said much beyond saying that a guy was going door to door for the Baptist church, when our daughter says "Yeah, Daddy, somebody SAVED him!" all dramatic like, including throwing her arms out like the nutjob had been. Even the 4 yr old knew high drama when she saw it.

My husband shot milk out his nose and I was laughing so hard I couldn't catch my breath.


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
sss456
♀ Member
Member # 19222
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i almost wish i could believe. it would sure make life easier, sometimes, to be able to blame it on the devil or gods greater plan. BUT, logic takes hold, and all the organized religion garbage starts stinkin up the place, so out it goes!!


I have nothing to lose but my mind, and everything I always wanted. Breaking Benjamin

Posts: 222 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: maryland
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, May 5th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nice to find this thread.

the first thing my new neighbors asked me when we moved into the "hood" was "have you found a church yet?"


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
shellsincanada
♀ Member
Member # 17829
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, May 5th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

has anyone listened to the audio book by Julia Sweeney called "Letting Go of God"?

It's fabulous. It basically talks about her journey from catholicism to exploring other religions to finally becoming an atheist. It is funny and smart and really makes you think in a light hearted way about the big deep issues. It's on itunes to download.


I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
When all I wanted was to be good
To do everything in truth
To do everything in truth
Martha Wainright...

Posts: 71 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Winnipeg
FierceSelfLove
♀ Member
Member # 19276
Default  Posted: 8:22 AM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not sure if I belong here or not, would appreciate some feedback on it, because I am VERY spiritual, but am not monotheistic. I'm American Indian, practice prayer every day (hell every three minutes sometimes) but because I'm not Christian or like I said, monotheistic, it's hard to explan that to some folks without them getting freaked out.

So, I know I"m not atheist, but what does agnostic mean?


Me: BW,
"Take back your lives, heal yourselves. Get revenge by being happy with yourself. Stand proud and say-You have not broke me. I will survive and I will come out of this better than I went in"

Posts: 1861 | Registered: Apr 2008
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Exclaimation  Posted: 3:30 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agnostic
n.
1. One who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God.

2. One who is skeptical about the existence of God but does not profess true atheism.

Atheist
n.
One who disbelieves or denies the existence of God or gods.

also:
"What is atheism?"

Atheism is characterized by an absence of belief in the existence of gods. This absence of belief generally comes about either through deliberate choice, or from an inherent inability to believe religious teachings which seem literally incredible. It is not a lack of belief born out of simple ignorance of religious teachings.

Some atheists go beyond a mere absence of belief in gods: they actively believe that particular gods, or all gods, do not exist. Just lacking belief in Gods is often referred to as the "weak atheist" position; whereas believing that gods do not (or cannot) exist is known as "strong atheism."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you believe in a deity or deities in any form you are neither agnostic nor atheist.


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
erinlc
♀ Member
Member # 14491
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been a self-described agnostic for some time. Came a Christian family full of preaching without practice. I often find myself uncomfortable when the first thing someone asks at a time of trouble is if I have a church, religion, or pray about it. Well, if I did, what would be the need to ask me about it? Either I am or I am not, and asking me about it if I was would serve no purpose, so I figure it's their way of feeling out my beliefs and taking the opportunity to preach their beliefs at my expense.

I respect everyone's beliefs, but have trouble with the judgement that seems to be directed at those that choose not to believe in something, as if it's a requirement to be a moral person. I simply do not feel like I need to answer to a higher power to be a good person, I can be motivated by my own desire to be such.


Me, BS, 36 y/o
Husband, FWS, 36 y/o
Together 19 years, married 17 years

Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter - Lee Ann Womack


Posts: 3145 | Registered: May 2007
FeistyWoman
♀ Member
Member # 19093
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, May 11th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right there with you erinlc.

I think good people come in all packages -and beliefs. And I think "beliefs" can mean not believing in a higher power or believing that it is impossible to know.

I consider my agnostic beliefs to be very well thought out. And I think that being a good person is just as important to me as someone who might be very devout in their faith.



Me - BS
Him - WH (SA)
Dday #1 3-20-08 Dday #2 4-9-08
2 children
Married 11 years, together 20
Him-3 massage parlor visits starting 1996; 1 yr arrangement w/prostitute;6 ONS(women); 1 full massage with man
Me-Totally clueless until 3-20-08

Posts: 111 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Midwest
north of nowhere
♀ Member
Member # 18849
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I discovered my Church going, praying before dinner husband is a bold faced liar, manipulator,deceiver and hypocrite, I became an agnostic. Sitting in church wondering how many of these pious people are just like him, I quit going. Anyone asks, I'll tell them.

Posts: 80 | Registered: Mar 2008
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i've been a life long questioner of organized religion. i probably fall towards the agnostic side rather than the atheist side of things. but not by much.

i've had the pleasure of working with people from around the world with a very very diverse range of religious beliefs. when i was fresh out of school, a hindu colleague of mine said "our religion is at least 3000 years older than christianity, what makes christians so sure that we're wrong?"

i thought that was great point. it didn't make me believe in god but it sure made me think about organized religions.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
notworthless
♀ Member
Member # 18943
Default  Posted: 3:30 AM, May 15th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I questioned organized religions, too, after meeting friends of every religion, many much older than the cristianity I was raised with.


I will survive....

Posts: 1154 | Registered: Apr 2008
Skye
Member
Member # 325
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, May 15th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do have to say that questioning organized religion and not being a believer are not the same. I know many true believers who struggle with organized religion.

Lucky me, I find organized religion very troublesome and I don't believe!


Posts: 5621 | Registered: Jul 2002
PTRN
♀ Member
Member # 19730
Default  Posted: 6:10 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone,

Does anyone else have a spouse who is an sex addict? I was not sure which thread to raise this topic.(Oh! I think I recognize one, actually. Hiya!) All of the literature and sites I've found so far are very 12 Step-ish, and focused on using religious beliefs as a way to heal and cope.


Posts: 214 | Registered: Jun 2008
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi PTRN!
Yup, my FWH is SA and he's an atheist. He is working the 12 steps he just ignores the "god" stuff and substitutes his "higher power" which is his family and his desire to be a good person. He also found secular 12 steps online, I need to get that from him and post it. There are NO secular groups though so he just takes what he needs and leaves the rest (all the God references).
7


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
PTRN
♀ Member
Member # 19730
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, June 9th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks again, 7.

What about books and resources for spouses? I can ignore a certain amount of religious reference, but jeez a pete, it seems the primary coping mechanism in much of what I've found so far.


Posts: 214 | Registered: Jun 2008
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, June 9th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey PTRN,
Yeah, no. Since everything is patterned from AA and Al-Anon and they are uber-religious we just have to sort through it. It's frustrating. Very.

I will say again, that with the exception of the chapter specifically on the 12-steps, I found that "Mending a Shattered Heart" by Stefanie Carnes was not overtly religious in its tone and I found it extremely helpful and validating.

Oh and you'd just love my support group (note the sarcasm) I am the only one in the group who is not a Christian. It's interesting to say the least. Actually, there are a couple of women that I actually feel really bad for, they are just pinning everything on praying that God will "cure" their husbands. It's so sad to see someone so caught up in it that they can't even help themselves. They also all thought that their husbands were immune to porn, masturbation and cheating because they were such "Godly" men. One was a deacon in his church. I honestly think this might be harder for them than for us non-believers.

[This message edited by 7yrsbetrayed at 5:59 PM, June 9th (Monday)]


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
PTRN
♀ Member
Member # 19730
Default  Posted: 4:30 AM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your support group sounds like fun!

And while I can see now how porn can be a gateway, and find the exploitation of women involved very troubling, I never believed that some higher power was giving my H the ability to resist. Before all of this, I didn't care if he watched occasionally.

Being able to pin everything on a higher power has never appealed to me. I need control.


Posts: 214 | Registered: Jun 2008
Marcia
Member
Member # 6503
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, June 15th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank God for this Thread!

Okay, that was a tad ironic.

But I am glad to see this because I see RED when people start invoking supernatural creatures when dealing with their lives. Or dealing with our nation's policies, whatever

FWIW, I have studies Buddhism and if I had to be religious, that would be the one for me. Ironically (again), I admire the central tenets of Christianity too, but so few people even try to practice them.


WHEN DID THE RULES CHANGE?
How did I miss the memo???

People: Read up on the 180!
Oh, and I'm boycotting Nike forever ;)


Posts: 225 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Washington DC
Marcia
Member
Member # 6503
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, June 15th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^ That was actually just a convoluted bump! This thread was in danger of falling off of Page 1 and I need it where I can see it! It's my crutch! Kind of like religion, you might say! Okay, I'll shut up now


WHEN DID THE RULES CHANGE?
How did I miss the memo???

People: Read up on the 180!
Oh, and I'm boycotting Nike forever ;)


Posts: 225 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Washington DC
Sandcrab
♀ Member
Member # 10067
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can I ask where a Wiccan may belong?


I ♥ LostJim

Adopt a chihuahua in your area
http://adopt-a-chihuahua.adoptapet.com/


Posts: 5618 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: wishing I was on an ocean beach somewhere...
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