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Agnostic/Atheist Support Group

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Stangfreak posted 4/27/2013 16:08 PM

Thanks for this thread. Despite my tag line, I am a humanistic agnostic deist (or at least that is the best description I have come up with).

I wish that I had the faith to know that someone was looking out for me and that I was being protected, but I haven't seen any evidence in my personal life. Kudos to those whose faith helps get them through, but I guess I am not built that way.

catlover50 posted 4/28/2013 05:31 AM

I find it easier to not believe and to support myself than to believe in a higher power that is so fickle.

Ascendant posted 6/20/2013 11:50 AM

Was wondering if any of you guys/girls know of any books on codependency that feature an Atheist perspective? I'm reading "Codependent No More", but it seems like it ultimately boils down to "Let go and let God".... which is obviously problematic for me.

Maxiom posted 6/25/2013 09:50 AM

I am curious about this myself given that Beatie has cornered this genre. None of her books seem to be as secular as advertised.

cdnmommy posted 6/25/2013 21:14 PM

I read codependent No More and I barely noticed the religion, and I'm about as committed an unbeliever as possible. I find the "let go" message works just as well without any spiritual qualifier. :)

h0peless posted 6/25/2013 21:22 PM

I've found that a lot of the lessons that are taught from a religious perspective work just as well for an atheist if you ignore the religious parts. I've found that replacing "submit to a higher power" with "fuck it, it will either work out or it won't" works for me.

Maxiom posted 6/26/2013 22:21 PM

The issue I find.. and I truly do not mean to offend anyone of faith.. but for me personally.. anyone who directs me to "offer it up to a higher power" loses all credibility. To be fair.. I would have similar reaction to someone stating things like... " the universe unfolds as it should" or "everything happens for a reason" No and no.

'not that I don't think Beatie isn't knowledgeable in the subject but statements like that are simply dismissive and lazy.

doodley posted 7/9/2013 17:38 PM

Just wanted to put this out there for you guys -

This service puts together secular therapists and clients and does so confidentially. Fantastic resource.

Tred posted 7/9/2013 18:33 PM


Thanks for the link. The brain trauma specialist I'm seeing luckily believes in "spirituality" but not so much religion. It's not that I have a problem with religion, it seems to have a problem with me . I have a problem with submitting to a higher power as well - might as well tell me to give all my issues to Santa. Just my opinion.

h0peless posted 9/23/2013 22:06 PM

I've had to move back in with my very religious mother temporarily. There have been a few interesting moments. The other day, I read this really cool article about how Google was working on a computerized system where your entire consciousness could be uploaded and you could "live" (in a sense) forever, or until there was a really bad power outage or something. I thought it was a really interesting concept.

I'm telling my Mom about this article and she's looking at me like I'm totally batshit crazy. "That's impossible. A computer can't hold your soul." Now I'm looking at her like she's batshit crazy. To me, we're just a series of electrical impulses who happen to exist by the remotest of chances. To her, we're endowed with a unique consciousness by a creator. Totally different world views.

I'm glad I had this moment with my Mom because it's helped me to not break the rules here once or twice over the past couple of days. There have been a few things posted that struck me as way beyond ignorant and well into the dangerous category. I just reminded myself that to the person who posted, that worldview makes as much sense as mine does to me.

It doesn't mean that what they said is any less idiotic but it has helped with my impulse control.

StillGoing posted 9/23/2013 22:20 PM

Man if Google builds the Neuromancer I am gonna move to one of the square states and buy a whole fucking lot of guns.

I try to remind my kids that people believe different things. They get upset when kids occasionally tell them things like they're bad because they don't believe in god or that they aren't really people because they don't have souls and are going to hell, etc, but it is easier for them to understand because their grandparents are very, very religious and they love their grandparents. It's kind of a life lesson how beliefs are only as good as the believer. I hate my in laws but I am glad that my kids love them, and they all have a good relationship.

Also I figure if I can be polite around them I can manage it around anybody.

Ascendant posted 10/12/2013 17:35 PM

They get upset when kids occasionally tell them things like they're bad because they don't believe in god or that they aren't really people because they don't have souls and are going to hell, etc, but it is easier for them to understand because their grandparents are very, very religious and they love their grandparents.
I worry about this as well. We're raising our son as an atheist, but not in the aggressively anti-religious vein. I'm atheist, but I'm fairly subdued...I know some atheists who make it their life mission to argue with and ridicule every single religious person they know. We just don't talk about god(s) or religion of any sort in our home...I'm sure at some point there will be some questions regarding it from my son, but it hasn't happened yet as of first grade.

Sammy2013 posted 10/23/2013 17:35 PM

Ok, Agnostic/Athiest here. I'm new to this site. I am so glad to see this group. So far this site has been a life saver for me. I have little support in real life around me. One person I confided in told me "Oh, God let you see his email to catch him!! He did that for you!!" Ugh, I got upset. I usually don't and just let it roll off my back. But I'm an emotional basket case right now. I said "If got has that kind of power, why couldn't he keep my husband faithful to me and prevent this hurt to begin with? What is the point of this pain?" She went on to tell me it makes me stronger, God is testing me, won't give me something I can't handle. It sure feels like I can't handle it right now!!

Sorry, vent over. I know she meant well and I apologized for jumping on her. She was just trying to help. I'm just an emotional zombie right now and super sensitive.

Tred posted 10/23/2013 17:48 PM

My favorite quote:

Say nothing of my religion. It is known to God and myself alone. Its evidence before the world is to be sought in my life: if it has been honest and dutiful to society the religion which has regulated it cannot be a bad one. - Thomas Jefferson

I think it fits every situation. If your religion is atheism, agnosticism, or a belief in some great narrative, it's how you live your life that defines your beliefs. You don't get credit for believing in something you don't practice.

Abbondad posted 10/23/2013 19:37 PM

Love peeking into this thread. One of the reasons my STBXWW claimed to be unhappy with me is because I "turned out nine-year-old into an atheist." I explained--or tried to explain--that I was merely teaching him critical thinking skills.

"Then what is this!" She asked, shaking a children's introduction to evolution at me.

Clearly I am in league with satan himself. :-)

Boy is it going to be fun when she wants him bar mitzvahed.

embee posted 10/25/2013 07:28 AM

Really happy to see this thread! I'm brand new here, and trying to take it all in - just paged through this thread quickly and didn't see anything similar, so please forgive me if this is repetitive. A lot of the book recommendations I've been seeing are very heavily religion-based, and I know that's going to be a turnoff for me, and even more so for WH.

So, does anyone have recommendations for their favorite books that DON'T come from that perspective? It's not that I can't gloss over some mentions of faith, I just want something from a progressive viewpoint so I feel I can relate to the advice.

ascian posted 11/19/2013 11:53 AM

Let me bump this up since I've seen some...let's call it friction, in a couple of threads in other forums.

Personally, I call myself an "apatheist." I don't find faith a requisite to being decent. As I told my 7 year old, who's hearing a lot about religion from classmates: "I'm going to be a good person in my life because that's something that everyone should do. If I die and there's heaven, that's great, but if I die and there's nothing after then that doesn't mean the good in my life was wasted."

Anyway, hope folks are doing alright this week.

h0peless posted 11/19/2013 12:12 PM

I'll be perfectly honest, I've been biting my tongue (so to speak) around here a bit recently. I try to remind myself that some people feel that believing in that sort of stuff gives them strength, although it's insulting when they post about how their particular superstition is the only way through this mess.

I think I've just been a bit grumpy recently.

ascian posted 11/19/2013 13:31 PM

I understand that entirely, I've had to bite my tongue a few times and not engage. I guess if they are content to keep their religion their own religion, I don't need to jump in and tell them they're wrong. At least not so long as they're not using their religion as a weapon against other people.

Kierst13 posted 11/19/2013 13:54 PM

How have I never noticed this group? I often feel like the odd man out in threads in General and R. It is nice to see you all!

[This message edited by Kierst13 at 1:54 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)]

Kierst13 posted 11/19/2013 14:14 PM

Also wanted to comment on atheists not having morals. I consider atheist morality to be the truest kind, since we are expecting no reward or punishment.

I have thought long and hard about right and wrong and feel that I have a strong moral code. Not just avoiding hurting others but actually trying to contribute to their happiness.

I am necro-posting that quote from Catlover from last Spring.

I hate when people act like I am amoral because I do not have a Biblical world view or derive my morals from a book. I do not need a book to tell me what is good vs. what is hurtful.

Why is it assumed one book is "truth" and therefore I am incapable of knowing right from wrong?

My STXH has always gone to a Protestant church and look where it got him (and me).

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