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I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Agnostic/Atheist Support Group
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You been out on your bike lately?

I need to put a new clutch in it. Plus, it has been 110 degrees here, which isn't exactly ideal motorcycle weather. I'm hoping to get it back on the road sooner rather than later.

I just don't get how someone can make FUN of someone who has been through something like this.

I agree with you but at the same time, without the experience, you have no way of knowing how deeply it effects someone. I really don't think they're doing it with any malicious intent, I just think they are clueless.


Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My brother and his fiance just had a baby and every time I'm around them, she bugs me about finding someone and having babies and then they make fun of me for turining into "Uncle Harold", who is a perfectly nice, harmless guy with really bad OCD who hasn't been in a relationship for as long as anyone in our generation can remember. Apparently he was engaged in the '70s, had a really traumatic breakup and was never the same.

You could turn around and bug her to go clubbing to the wee hours and leave the baby home with your brother so you guys can cruise for dudes and party like it's 2199, then make fun of her for being a sour old gramma when she says she can't do that.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7488 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Solid plan, SG. Upvote.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would agree, but I somehow can't see h0peless retorting with an equally asshole response. I mean, um, sassy response. Sasshole?

(I can, however, see SG, Rebreather, and myself easily popping off with something like this. )


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - Franšois-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also second that plan. I'm in a better mood today!


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2175 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's true, Razzmatazz. My inner bitch often forgets she is supposed to stay inner.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
SelfishHusband
♂ Member
Member # 43174
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, what's the deal here? Do I need to read the first 29 pages of this group first? Or can I just post my rant/vent about how I think my godlessness might have contributed to my selfishness? :)

It looks like there's a conversation in progress here. I don't want to hijack :)

I'd post over in wayward but, honestly, I don't want to offend anyone religious by my lack thereof..


Me: FWH (39)
Her: BW (34)
DDay 1: March 2013 (EA/PA that *I* rugswept)
DDay 2: April 2014 (PA with double betrayal. OW was wife's friend)
Married: 13 Years
1 Handsome and Amazing Son (10)

Posts: 388 | Registered: Apr 2014
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@rebreather: Meh. We still get invited to parties.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 3:16 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - Franšois-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Or can I just post my rant/vent about how I think my godlessness might have contributed to my selfishness?

You can post that and I'd be happy to poke holes in your argument.

[This message edited by h0peless at 3:26 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Or can I just post my rant/vent about how I think my godlessness might have contributed to my selfishness?

I don't think anyone is going to get upset about you posting, but your responses are going to vary based on your motives. If you want support for a personal experience that has to do with atheism then you'll get support for that. If you are going to blame it for cheating then you probably want to take that back to the WS forum because the 2x4's you'd need are all lined up over there.

eta:

By "blame" I don't mean "My thought process got all fucked up and I figured since there was no afterlife I should go crazy and do what I want, then I thought better of that" I mean "I HAD NO MORALS BECAUSE I WAS A ATH╦IST AND YES THATS HOW METAL I WAS IT HAS A UMLAUT" kind of thing. Which would still be a fun conversation but I don't think it would be very productive.

eta again:

fucked up the grammar so it was consistently fucked up.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 3:55 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7488 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
SelfishHusband
♂ Member
Member # 43174
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My thought process got all fucked up and I figured since there was no afterlife I should go crazy and do what I want

Yeah, it was something along those lines.

I deleted what I wrote. I tend to be too wordy anyway.

The rest of it was not relevant to my infidelity and just negativity in general about religion and how we're treated by others who are religious and about making friends in general.

Maybe I do need to read all 29 pages. I guess I'm not the first person to stumble in here saying something like that?



Me: FWH (39)
Her: BW (34)
DDay 1: March 2013 (EA/PA that *I* rugswept)
DDay 2: April 2014 (PA with double betrayal. OW was wife's friend)
Married: 13 Years
1 Handsome and Amazing Son (10)

Posts: 388 | Registered: Apr 2014
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

***Posting as a member***

We strive not to complain about religion in here so much as to support each other through non-religious means, SelfishHusband. You probably see us horsing around in here a little bit but it is coming on the tails of serious conversation.

You are allowed to post your feelings on how religion has influenced your behaviors either by its presence or lackthereof, but we still try to keep it respectful as a sign of support to the rest of the membership.

I think this thread was inspired by those who needed somewhere to turn but didn't feel that prayer or God was a solution. I myself am a bigtime waffler so I appreciate prayer as a gesture that is meaningful to different people on different levels. This is a space that is stepped outside of those kinds of solutions.

I hope that makes sense.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - Franšois-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, it's just a predictable and really lame excuse. Even six year olds know that there are certain things they're not supposed to do because they aren't nice. They have empathy for the person they would be hurting and they act to avoid trampling on another person's feelings for their own selfish gain. Sometimes the threat of punishment is a deterrent but usually, it boils down to empathy versus selfishness.

To further the point, research has shown that an abstract punishment that may or may not come sometime in the undefined future is very little deterrent. When I was little, I "knew" deep down inside that if I pulled my sister's hair in February, Santa might remember in December and give me coal in my stocking. It wasn't enough of a deterrent to keep me from doing it (ask my sister!) and as an adult, I don't think the threat of retribution from some unseeable deity would be enough to keep me from knowingly hurting another person if my own sense of human empathy would allow it.

[This message edited by h0peless at 8:41 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think the threat of retribution from some unseeable deity would be enough to keep me from knowingly hurting another person if my own sense of human empathy would allow it.

Amazingly insightful. I read this ten times.

Crazz swore on his beloved recently deceased mother's soul that he never touched AP - then copped to sex the next day. In retrospect he says that he had a general belief in souls but just convinced himself for that split second that swearing on them didn't matter.

Click.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - Franšois-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exactly Hopeless and Jrazz. Exactly.

I feel like my desire to do right by others is stronger because it is self-directed. It isn't because I am afraid of some invisible being striking me down if I don't do it in just their particular way. I do it because doing right by others is the right thing to do. Full stop. It is the same way I have attempted to raise my children; that they will strive to do right because being a good person is their goal, not that they are afraid of me and what kind of retribution I may deliver upon them.

There are some wonderful guildelines and teachings by an assortment of religous leaders, Jesus included. When all of that got managed into a book and an assortment of other issues is when I lose the thread of how it relates to me specifically. I don't need or want that. Don't buy it. But the underlying principles are of great value. More of a Marcus Borg person than a Dobson person, I guess is what I'm rambling.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, it was something along those lines.

I deleted what I wrote. I tend to be too wordy anyway.

The rest of it was not relevant to my infidelity and just negativity in general about religion and how we're treated by others who are religious and about making friends in general.

Maybe I do need to read all 29 pages. I guess I'm not the first person to stumble in here saying something like that?

If you aren't bashing anyone or debating religious beliefs then I don't think it'd big deal so long as it maintained respect for peoples beliefs in general. Except for agnostics. I don't believe in them anyway.

I'm kind of curious though, how isn't it related to your infidelity if it was a contributor to it via a rationalization process? Also, I'm sure whatever you wrote wasn't too wordy. Use the words man.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7488 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't believe in them anyway.

Prove it.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If an agnostic fell over in the woods...never mind. That was me working outside earlier .


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4005 | Registered: Dec 2011
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't believe in them anyway
.
Prove it.


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2175 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tred.

I had a good one, but I don't want to offend any dyslexics or dog people.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - Franšois-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
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