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User Topic: One Night Stand Support Thread
karmasnmf
♀ Member
Member # 12370
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

txtrueblue,
Since you just found out in Dec. 07, it is new to you. What prompted him to finally tell you? Is he doing anything to help you deal with your emotions?
Keep posting. We're here for you.

(((((txtrueblue)))))


Posts: 2603 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: New York
2Bforgotten
♀ New Member
Member # 18636
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello everyone, I'm sad to be here but happy I found it. I see that no one has posted in a few days so I hope people are still around. I wanted to say hello and tell you my story.
My H and I have been married for 9 years. we had a pact with each other that we would never cheat. That if there was ever a point where we wanted to move on we would end our marriage first. We have had issues with other women before but never did I believed he had cheated on me until Feb.1 which turned out to be the worst night of my life! We went out with some friends. Our friends brought along a new woman we had never met before. We went to a club and everyone was drinking except me I was the D.D. By the end of the night everyone was completely drunk including my H and we decided everyone would stay at our friends house for the night. All of us were hanging out in their basement and an agrument started between the new woman and another person so she went up stairs. My H followed her. They had been up there alone for about 10 mins when I came up the stair to find him and saw my H running to the bathroom with no pants on and her with her pants undone. Now I don't know if she had just pulled her pants up or if they were just undone but she had fallen to the floor because a chair she was on had slipped out from behind her. I ran after him screaming and when I saw him he was sweaty and (sorry if this is too graphic)had what looked like snot on his face. He was so drunk he didn't know his pants were off or what was going on. I went to her and asked her in a not so friendly way what was going on and she didn't know either. She keep saying I'm so drunk I don't know what your talking about. I got my H in the car to go home and he passed out. The next morning I told him what happened and all the events and he was in complete shock. He couldn't remember any of it and was totally ashamed of himself and couldn't believe that he was that stupid. So because of his reaction to it I decided to stay and work on our marriage but I can't seem to get the things I saw out of my head. I think the hardest part is I don't know what was going on I can only guess and he can't tell me. I don't know If there was enough time for them to have sex or just oral. Either way it is disgusting and I will never know. Because I don't know my mind makes up all the things that could have happened. I feel so crazy because my thoughts are always going back to that night, anything and everything triggers me. I wonder if I would have walked up after them or if I would have gone up sooner I could have stopped it. I can't believe that he would do it with me in the same house. I'm so angry at the complete disregard for me and I don't even know if I should believe that he doesn't remember or believe it hadn't happend before. Maybe he does remember but it is so easy to say he doesn't. I feel like a fool and now I don't know if I really know him at all. He has been supportive and agreed to not drink anymore and to get tested for STDs but hasn't been tested yet. He is ready to move on and put it behind us trying to get back to normal but I can't move on. I feel so sad, betried and so angry that I couldn't trust him and he pushed our marriage vows aside for one momment with another woman. Drunk or not he did what he did and I can't look at him the same at least not yet. I can't believe he would put my health at risk by messing around with someone else. Now if we have sex it is with condoms, but it is hard for me because my mind goes back to that night and he seems dirty. How will I get over this? Is there anyone else who caught their WS in the act?
On a side note the other woman was taken home that night and our friends cut off all contact with her.

Posts: 34 | Registered: Mar 2008
babyblueeyes
♀ New Member
Member # 14603
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2B,

Sorry I just checked in - read my profile. H Drunken ONS with Co Worker - details for him are murky at best with recall of certain parts of the night.

I believe H told me everything. He has no idea why, like yours but he was very drunk and broke boundaries he never would now.

Over the last two years I have watched many people do dumb things when they are drunk, with absolutely no care for consequences, things they would never do sober.

My H cannot drink unless I am around. He is very aware of boundaries with women now and that includes ALL of our friends.

You are not dumb, but you are most probably the one that remembers the most cos you were stone cold sober and caught them, and lucky you did.

He needs to do the STD test, he needs to examine why he did it, my H went to counselling for my peace of mind. He did it, he needs to own it, and work on supporting you.

I have a friend likes to say when he is drunk - "if I can't remember it it did not happen" your H cannot take that stance.

((((HUGS))))


BS mid 40's FWH mid 40's
D Day 30 July 2005
Married 23 years together 26 years
3 Sons 2 adults and one teenager

Posts: 18 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Australia
gromaz
♂ New Member
Member # 18732
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello 2bforgotten I have a long story about a one night stand which if you want to read it I'll send to you. But it is long and does not have ahappy ending.


M 40 years
WS 3 yr Affair 38 years ago and maybe some new ones.

Posts: 16 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Westchester County, NY
hurtbyhwhookers
New Member
Member # 19011
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, April 5th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. I really thought I was the only one to have a H cheat repeatedly with hookers. The amount of deception this took was so incredible. He also "tried" to communicate with postings on craigslist and post his own, but says nothing happened. He also used Myspace to try to meet women. It has been 10 mos and it is just not going away. I still feel like I don't know everything and it is making me impossible to get over it. When is enough enough? Should I just move on knowing he will never admit to everything and hope he changes? He is apologetic, but has always been deceptive and a risk taker by nature. There were more lies than just the cheating. The problem is he is such a great husband in every other way. All the things I hear women complain about never apply to me. But he cheated with whores. He worked very hard at keeping it a secret, and waited just long enough for me to be out of the drive way to make the phone calls. The real problem is he says he did it because he was "bored". What kind of excuse is that. 10 mos and he is still saying the same thing. He says he will control himself by staying busy with other things now. I guess I know he will probably do it again, I am just trying to decide whether I can deal with it again.

Thanks for your postings.


Posts: 1 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: denver
FeistyWoman
♀ Member
Member # 19093
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, April 25th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just thought I would check in to see how everyone is.

This is just one of several forums I check (including teh Sex Addiction forum, the same gender AP forum, Just Found Out, etc).

My WH had 6 ONS with random women while traveling for work. He also spend a year seeing a prostitute weekly(while I was pregnant)--then he ventured into a full body massage with a man he met thru Craigslist.

He obviously has MANY issues - SA seems to be at the root of it. For me, the ONS have really been hard. He obviously planned ahead for them (admits he took condoms with him - or bought them in the city he traveled to).

I have had to ask many detailed questions about the women in the ONS. All, of course, younger, thinner, more well-endowed than me. Obviously fucking whores who would sleep with a married man after 30 minutes of conversation in a bar.

Sorry - I digress.

The year-long hooker arrangement seems more obviously SA-related---he was having major bad things happening in his family (2 deaths and 2 cancer diagnoses in 4 months). That seems more like acting out to ease the pain (not that I am over that by any means----did I mention that I was pregnant!)

But - the ONS seem like such a predatory thing. He was on the look out. He was looking to get laid. He says he had no emotional connection to these women--like that is supposed to help?? It scares me a little that he could seem so cold about sex.

Also --where was the emotional connection to me???? How could he just cut that off and go off on his hunt for a quickie?

In some ways it sounds easier that there is no OW to battle --but with ONS, it kind of feels like ANY woman could be the OW.

How do you battle that?


Me - BS
Him - WH (SA)
Dday #1 3-20-08 Dday #2 4-9-08
2 children
Married 11 years, together 20
Him-3 massage parlor visits starting 1996; 1 yr arrangement w/prostitute;6 ONS(women); 1 full massage with man
Me-Totally clueless until 3-20-08

Posts: 111 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Midwest
Frog
♀ Member
Member # 19331
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I guess I belong here too. :-( Although my ID says I only registered a few days ago, I have actually been reading SI for a few months now. Here is my story (I'll put it in timeline order to make better sense of it all).

Married 8-98
We moved around a bit for WH's work, but it never seemed to be a problem. We lived in KY for a year, moved away because we didn't like it, then after 9/11 it seemed the only place he could get work at the time, so we moved back there in March 02. WH apparently felt like a failure for moving family back to someplace that we all hated. Sometime during the summer while at work (he's a satellite installer) and doing a job at a customers house, she started talking to him about personal things.... asking if he was married, had he ever cheated, things like that. This progressed to sexual talk, things she had done in her past, asking about things WH likes to do, and he made the monumental mistake of listening AND responding to her questions! He tells her he loves 69 and that he wife (me) doesn't like to do it so he doesn't get it. She takes the opportunity to put her hand on his leg, rub him down, then take him to the couch and give him what he's been missing. She has condoms to protect herself, but WH doesn't think once about any diseases he'll pick up from her skanky girl parts. Ugh! I know nothing about this event.

May of 04 we move to another state. Things are going fine (I think) and he seems a little happier that we are out of that horrible place. But he's still not happy happy. Around July, he starts emailing people from Craigslist in the personals section. Talks sex with them, sends and receives dirty pics with them, and arranges times to hook up, but doesn't follow through... yet. In Dec 04, I catch him with strange people on his IM buddy list. He has some lame story, that I BELIEVED because I trusted him so implicitly! He deletes all those buddies, and then opens a new email account to hide these things from me. Continues emailing people, and around spring of 05 he meets up with women from CL, 2 women, 1 time each, for more of the 69 action. He literally drove to their house, sat for 5 minutes on their couch, then had sex with them, and left in under 20 minutes. But, I guess on the bright side he didn't spend a penny for them. Ugh! Still, I know nothing at this point.

He continues emailing people from CL, and in Nov 06 he contacts his ex fiance and within days of their initial contact they start emailing about sex. She's married also. They spend the next year+ emailing each other, chatting in private rooms together, and in June of 07 we move to the same city where she lives. At this point, they begin calling each other and talking several times a week. Her H is a long haul truck driver, so she has plenty of time to talk. They meet and have lunch twice, but according to their emails (and this is the ONLY reason I believe him) they didn't have any physical contact whatsoever. But just 2 days after their last lunch date, she invited him over for sex on a Sat, and by the Grace of God he didn't go for some odd reason. He hasn't seen her since, and I still don't know about any of this.

Come to Dec 07. I am checking his emails for work (which he has me do every day) and I notice that there are NO work emails, that's odd. But there are a bunch of emails to one person. I decide to open them. OMG! These are SO not work emails! This is his secret email account, he accidentally left it open when he went to work, and now I know all his dirty secrets! He has every email in his saved folder for the past 4 years in there, and I spent the rest of the day reading EVERY email he sent to everyone! There were strangers in there, his ex was in there a lot, and various other things.

So, I confront WH about this, he confesses to the 3 ONS's, and emailing his ex and others from CL, and I tell him to get out and stay with his parents. A back injury the next day, sustained at my home (not by me, dang it anyhow!) causes WH to stay at my home the day after DDay, and we have been together ever since.

Fortunately, WH is VERY remorseful, very apologetic, and a very broken man. Since the fog is gone, I have showed him some of the emails he had been sending (he deleted the emails and that email acct on DDay while at his parents house, but I emailed myself a few before he had the chance to do that) and he is disgusted with how bad he had been and how lost he was and how poor the decisions were that he was making.

Since DDay, he has been an open book. He doesn't even look sideways at me when I'm going through his phone, he volunteered to let me put keylogging software on our PC's so he can't surf for chicks anymore without me knowing, and he has even agreed to having a GPS installed in the work rig. The fact that he would brag over and over again to ALL of these women that he could find "time to play" because he drives all over for work and has no schedule, and the fact that ALL 3 of these ONS's happened while he was at, or supposed to be at, work REALLY makes me nervous and scared! So with the GPS, and knowing where he's supposed to be for the day, makes me feel much better.

It's a work in progress. It's only been 4 1/2 months since I found out, but things are so much better now. He's not on the PC all the time anymore (he would literally sit on the couch 3 feet from me and be emailing with these skanks), he's plugged in to our family, and he's plugged in to me too! He is so much happier now, and I can see that he even walks differently now too.

He was so far into his fantasy of the internet life he was living that he even took the laptop to the park with him when he was supposed to be spending time with the kids and cruised CL while telling the kids to play by themselves. He was crushed when he remembered that.

I believe there is hope for us, I believe there is hope for any family where the WS is truly repentant and remorseful for what they have done. I thought I would never stay with a man that cheated on me, and my heart was softened in a BIG way the day I found out. Now, if he does it again... well, I can't be responsible for my actions then. ;-)


Me, BS 33
Him, FWS 35 (MrFrog)
Married 10 years
DDay 12-11-07

Posts: 834 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: NW US
FeistyWoman
♀ Member
Member # 19093
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, May 2nd (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Frog)))

I am so sorry that you have to be here. It must have been horrible to find all of those emails. I had a similar experience about 6 weeks ago--just came across an email account.

I did't see a lot of the emails--just from about a week and that was enough.

It sounds like things are better--so I hate to bring up something to worry about --but have you considered whether your WH has a sex addiction? My WH is just getting started seeing a IC with SA experience so I don't know a lot --but your WH's behavior sounds like it fits some of the patterns.

If so--it would be important for him to get into therapy and explore some of the 12 step programs. From what I understand, SA's can often put the behavior on hold for a while but if they don't deal with the underlying issues it often comes up again later.

I obviously don't know your WH but it might be something to think about--so that you can work together to make sure things don't go bad again.

Here is one site you might check out if you want more info: www.sexaa.org

Again-I don't want to put worries into your head--but sometimes more information can help.

It sounds like your WH is really committed to your family so you have a good foundation to work from.

(((Hugs))


Me - BS
Him - WH (SA)
Dday #1 3-20-08 Dday #2 4-9-08
2 children
Married 11 years, together 20
Him-3 massage parlor visits starting 1996; 1 yr arrangement w/prostitute;6 ONS(women); 1 full massage with man
Me-Totally clueless until 3-20-08

Posts: 111 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Midwest
Frog
♀ Member
Member # 19331
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feisty, thank you for your comments! Yes, we had already explored that reason. We both, and MC, don't feel like it was a true SA though. Here is a little bit more.

After the first ONS (which was not initiated by him, he just let it happen, not any better, but he wasn't out looking for anything) he felt incredibly guilty and worthless and like he was going to lose everything he had (W, kids, friends, family, job, house, etc.). He became so consumed with those negative feelings that he thought he didn't deserve to have a loving W, kids, friends, etc. Well, what kind of person doesn't deserve those things? "A liar and a cheater, so if I don't deserve those things, then I must be a liar and a cheater, so I will go cheat then. That's all I'm good for, right?"

So WH let himself fall into this very dark, very undeserving place. He became very sad, angry, withdrawn, all sorts of things. The day I found out about all of this, he was completely broken, literally. Within about a week, he started to smile, within about a month, he started to feel like he wasn't worthless, but still not worthy either. Now, today after 4 1/2 months he feels like he does deserve to be happy and that he does deserve to have my love. He is a different man completely! MC and I have both been working on seperating his self worth from the value of his paycheck (which he thinks is all he really is... a paycheck) and he is making great progress.

He hasn't searched CL since that day, he deleted all the other email accts, he has accounted for all his time, he has agreed to have a GPS put in his truck, he lets me go through his cell phone anytime I want, he doesn't even turn on the computer unless he asks first and tells me what he is going to do. He is a stellar example of a remorseful WS.

He never did anyting physical with anyone other than the 3 ONS's, he's never so much as (sorry if TMI) pleasured himself to any of their pics or anything either. I really feel, in my heart of hearts, that he made a SERIOUS error in judgement on the first one and was too weak and had too low of a self esteem to say no, and that the others were because of his feelings of inadequecy as a human and a partner. Does that make sense?

But don't worry, I WILL be watching him very carefully and very closely for some time.... and I will always check up on him from time to time no matter what. Trust but verify, right? ;-)

Thank you so much! If I sound like I'm in denial and those above things are all SA signs too, please let me know and I'll check into it more than I have. I don't want anything like this to happen again!


Me, BS 33
Him, FWS 35 (MrFrog)
Married 10 years
DDay 12-11-07

Posts: 834 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: NW US
healingtree
♀ Member
Member # 15467
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, May 4th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Frog...I am in a similar position in that my FWH, after the first stupid ONS, just dove straight into "I'm a worthless POS" hell...combined with alcohol, made cheating again and again (3 ONS over the course of 7 months - right under my nose no less)just self-fulfilling prophecy.

He is completely sober now, which is why I stay...BUT there is always the question...will he break down and allow that weakness to overwhelm him once again? How do I really know he is not still lying and screwing some chick in the bathroom somewhere, kwim?

I have been on the look out for more truth, and what I have found is consistent with his story, that the only time these terrible things happened was when he was hammered beyond belief...

But one of the other posters was right...when your WH has a series of ONSs, the OW can be anyone...

I've been working on healing, and growth, and FWH does seem like a changed man.

But there is always that big question mark - is there more I don't know, is he really a SA?

Full trust in his "truth" evades me even now.


FBS 1st D-day 7-11-07, 2nd DDay Post-Breakup in 8-12
HIM - Doesn't Matter Anymore
The only thing we can change about the past is how we look at it.

Posts: 8329 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Here and Now
TurnipTruck
♂ Member
Member # 19475
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, May 10th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Appologies....Hides under rock!!

[This message edited by TurnipTruck at 6:50 PM, May 12th (Monday)]


ME 48
WW 42
DS 12
Together 17 years
DDay 12/06
Separated 11/07
OM...55yo
It must be love, he aint got anything else to his name.

Posts: 481 | Registered: May 2008 | From: USA
healingtree
♀ Member
Member # 15467
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TurnipTruck - I'm just going to come out and say it...

If someone was asking for opinions about this on a general thread, well heck thats one thing...


PLEASE think before you post.

Thank you

[This message edited by healingtree at 8:48 AM, May 13th (Tuesday)]


FBS 1st D-day 7-11-07, 2nd DDay Post-Breakup in 8-12
HIM - Doesn't Matter Anymore
The only thing we can change about the past is how we look at it.

Posts: 8329 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Here and Now
lastimada
♀ Member
Member # 16522
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Turnip Truck,

What possesed you to post HERE about how much easier a ONS is???? How would you know? Did you even read any of the posts here? I doubt it because if you did it you might have more insight into how horribly painful a ONS A can be.

I hope you realize you are out of line!

[This message edited by lastimada at 12:15 PM, May 12th (Monday)]


The worst things that every happened to me were the best things that ever happened to me.

Posts: 563 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: California
TurnipTruck
♂ Member
Member # 19475
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My apologies to all!

(hides under rock again)


ME 48
WW 42
DS 12
Together 17 years
DDay 12/06
Separated 11/07
OM...55yo
It must be love, he aint got anything else to his name.

Posts: 481 | Registered: May 2008 | From: USA
hangingontohope7
♀ Member
Member # 20024
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm new and just found this thread today. My husband had a ONS right before we were married. The full story is in my profile but basically he went out with friends from work and got drunk and ending up sleeping with a CW. He cut all ties with her and hasn't spoken to her since. She no longer works with him. This happened well over two years ago and I just recently found out. Its been so hard to deal with the betrayal. I don't know if its easier or harder that it was a ONS. Cheating is cheating. I just can't comprehend how can you throw away almost 7 years for one lousy drunken night, that you barely remember, with someone you barely know. To let down the one person who has CHOSEN to love you through it all. I guess I would be this confused no matter what the relationship was. I don't even know if any of this post makes sense. I'm just trying to sort out my feelings with people who can relate.

[This message edited by hangingontohope7 at 10:54 PM, June 26th (Thursday)]


Me: BW
DDay #1 Tried R
DDAY #2 Divorcing

Burn everything love then burn the ashes.


Posts: 247 | Registered: Jun 2008
healingtree
♀ Member
Member # 15467
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hangingontohope...

Hello and welcome...

ONSs IMO, may be different than an A, LTA, but no less difficult.

When your WS is "involved" with another person...with an emotional connection, then incredibly painful yes but also there was something more than just a fuck...kwim?

And unfortunately like many of us here have found out, the ONS turns into several...or more...

The hard part about onss, unless the WS immediately confesses, is that the likelyhood that there have been more, and you only found out about one, is huge.

If the WS confesses without being caught, that is a different story.

What has killed my ability to fully R the most is not knowing how far down the rabbit hole my H went...

And now when I look at women he has been friends with, or strangers on the street...

I wonder, did he sleep with her too?


FBS 1st D-day 7-11-07, 2nd DDay Post-Breakup in 8-12
HIM - Doesn't Matter Anymore
The only thing we can change about the past is how we look at it.

Posts: 8329 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Here and Now
reallyhurting
♀ Member
Member # 19305
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Any form of betrayal hurts just as bad as the others. About seven years ago, I caught my H doing inappropriate things on the internet. Since then I never truly trusted him. Two months ago, I found out he had an A for a year and a half. While talking to the OW, she informed me that he had a ONS seven years ago (while we had a baby at home in the crib that I was taking care of). To top it off, the ONS was with a lady from my work...nice, huh? Then, I found out that he had a profile on an online dating service. He was strictly looking for sex. So...many betrayals, many hurts...I just don't know if I can get past any of it. Only time will tell. If feel like if we do get past this he will feel that I will accept anything and he will once again betray me and then I'll completely go crazy. What to do...what to do...


BS (me)
WH
Children: 2

Divorced and absolutely loving life
D-Day: 4/14/2008


Posts: 264 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: East Coast
healingtree
♀ Member
Member # 15467
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((reallyhurting)))

I think the "unconfessed but discovered" ONS can be the most fearful/questioning place ever sometimes...

Just like in your story, the initial "discovery" of what seems like a one time thing can lead us to see that it is only the tip of the iceberg...the title of one of my first posts almost a year ago, when I myself thought it was only a single ONS with a total stranger at a bar...

And when you find out you are wrong, and there was more, it is so difficult to find any kind of trust...

It could happen anywhere, at any time, with anyone...

Make a decision that is right for you.

If he has been acting out this long, recovery most likely will take a long time as well.

Big Hug


FBS 1st D-day 7-11-07, 2nd DDay Post-Breakup in 8-12
HIM - Doesn't Matter Anymore
The only thing we can change about the past is how we look at it.

Posts: 8329 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Here and Now
gillianbx
♀ Member
Member # 18465
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess this is not good news for those who are trying to reconcile. My Xhusband's one night stands justified in his mind that he could have a full-blown affair. He never got caught in the ONS so he didn't think he would get caught in the affair. In fact I only found out about the one night stands after he went to go live with his filthy whore girlfriend.
Apparently, every cute cocktail waitress in town knew my husband in intimate, oral ways.
(I was in the grocery store one day with my children and one of these trollops recogonized me and came up to me to apologize for what she had done with my husband. Puke. Another time I went to a mutual friend of my X's and mine to talk about college admissions paperwork because she worked at the college that I wanted to attend and she apologized to me also. I stared at her completely aghast and then I asked her if she knew of anyone in this town who had NOT slept with my X while I was married to him.)
On top of that, I think it is scarier to realize the amount of danger with STD's that the ONS puts on the BS.


"If you want to change your reality, change your focus. If you want to change your focus, change the questions you ask yourself. Questions control your focus, therefore questions control your own experience of life." -Kobi Yamada


Posts: 128 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: missouri
dmf56379
New Member
Member # 20068
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hi, I just found this sight and am hoping I can get some support, compasion and maybe good advice. I have been dating a man for two years (I am 47 so no spring chicken). Last January he went out of town on business and reconnected with a seven year relationship. I caught him in several lies and than finally found out the truth. He slept with her. He claims he immediately felt terrible and couldn't wait to drop her off and get out of town. He never wanted me to find out...but I did. He has gone to counceling and we both went a few times together. He has cried more than I have ever saw a man cry but I just am having a difficult time letting go. I found this out on March 17th so it has only been 3 months. I sometimes make mean remarks to him and there are times I can barely stand looking at him. I know we aren't married but I believed we had a committed relationship. I just don't know how to put this behind me and move forward. thanks, Deb

Posts: 1 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Minnesota
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