D-DAY #1- 11/12/07
D-DAY #2- 12/1/07
STARTED R 3/19/08
D- Day #3 07/23/08
I was 7mos. preggers when I learned of EA and H walked out on me and 2yo dd.
Wasn't until 2 weeks after delivery, I learned of full-fledged PA. I didn't want to see before then. Hell, still don't want to see.
Take deep breaths. Just give your baby girl tons of snuggles. They work for your benefit too.
I'm sending you hugs right now. You and you kids are in my prayers, as well.
Try to keep your stress levels in check. I wound up having some difficulties in the end and delivered a few weeks early by induction. But, my own baby boy came out perfect.
This was not my choice, but it will not be my undoing either. ~~yewtree
[This message edited by dlesthae at 2:43 AM, January 16th (Wednesday)]
I was 7mos pregnant when I found out about my H's A.I found out by discovering. there was OC (4mos old).Our daughter was born 10/01/07 and is gorgeous; but the feelings of betrayal are still there.Now..I am 6wks pregnant and we haven't gotten resolution with the OC issue yet.
SOmetimes I think its possible that not all men know how to deal with the hormonal changes of their pregnant wife.
ALso, lets be honest, bringing a baby in the world can be stressful, and some husbands act out in the most horrendous ways.
I am not excusing my WH behaviour, because there is no excuse. BUT, sometimes I think it helps explain some aspects of the reasons behind the affair.
Anyway, my question for those who were pregnant when they learned of the affair. Whose last name did you give your child when it was born? I am so pissed off right now that I am contemplating giving my baby my maiden name. Any thoughts on this issue?
Having a new bambino in June 2009!
[This message edited by nomorelove at 12:08 PM, March 27th (Thursday)]
What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
Life is a test.
My husband abandoned myself and our four children late in 2006. It was a horrible few months, where I filed for divorce and we were approaching our first court date. He called and asked to see me in person...something he hadn't done in well over a month...to see if there was any hope of reconciliation.
Wow! I was so elated. I was so happy. My four children and I would still have the man I loved in our lives. I did so much work on myself that few months and he was amazed at the difference...and I kept it up!
I had heard he had taken a woman to a party...so I asked point blank about her and said we could lump that transgression in with the abandonment if an affair did occur. Well, he denied it. I trusted him.
The month after he returned, we found out we were expecting #5!!! It wasn't expected...but I was so happy. I believed God was giving us a second chance...a new beginning...and I threw myself into staying positive about the pregnancy and taking care of myself and my husband and our other children like never before.
Fast forward to D-day...Oct. 07. Day after my birthday. That morning I got a phone call from a woman. It was OW's mother, who had found out about the affair and was calling to inform me. A part of me died that day and remains dead.
I didn't kick him out...the baby was due in less than a month and I was basically numb. He tried to deny it at first, saying the mother was crazy and didn't know what she was talking about. Then she sent me some emails...where he expressed his "love" for her and he finally confessed. The affair had started while we were separated and continued until Sept. 07...with emails and phone calls continuing until Oct. 07 when I found out.
Today, he is saying he was a mess when he came back. I was a new woman and he loved me so much...but he didn't want me to know about the affair. He continued it to keep the OW happy (so he says) so she wouldn't tell me before she moved away (as she had plans of getting a new job). I always thought my husband was a smart man...guess not. Why in the world would you do something more in hopes of hiding it?
I love my baby...she is 4 months old. But it isn't the same. What I thought was the happiest pregnancy of our marriage was all a sham. I can't help look at her and think: "Gee...she represents the best time and the most horrible time of my life."
It is now 5 months past d-day, but I am sinking fast. This news on top of the PPD I always have when I give birth are making for a miserable existance. I'm trying to make it through for my kids, but have a hard time when pain and depression fill my heart and soul.
So, that is my story.
With time, and support from my wonderful mother, I've come to accept this baby as a good thing in my life and am happy to be having it. That doesnt stop the disappointment of the surrounding emotions the baby will be born into.
We are trying to R. He says he will never go there again. He says he'll never hurt me - but he said that before, and all the while this was going on.
I am fearful of how I will cope with the R, and my trust issues once the baby arrives and all the complications of new born babies hit - hormone cocktails, fatigue, breast feeding issues, sleeping issues ..... etc etc.
(((Hugs))) to everyone in a similar situation.
I am remarried to a wonderful man who raises this boys as his own. More than that, he loves them as if they were his own. I wanted to offer encouragement to you that there is peace on the other side. Even with newborn babies in tow. Stay Strong.