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User Topic: Pregnant/New Parents Support
♀ New Member
Member # 33790
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, December 12th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just found this thread and wanted to share my crappy story. I am now 5 months preg with baby #2. Due April 27. (I have a 2 yr old son. :) The light of my life!!) We had been trying for about a year to get preg when I found out about the A. I had a miscarriage in March and we were going to try Clomid. Well after taking the provera for a week, I found out about some of the A stuff that had been going on (emails was my first bit of info).. a week later I found out the whole truth. Needless to say I never took the Clomid. Instead started taking the pill. Grrrr!! Why the eff would my stupid selfish H tell me he wants to try for another baby while he is out f***ing some other whore??!!! Not even knowing if we'd stay together or not.. I was not at all interested in sex. All I could think about was him and her in my truck. I couldn't even stand to look at him. So I left. He told me she meant nothing to him and what a huge mistake he made and begged me to come home. He promised to do anything to fix our M. When I came home from spending a week at my mom's house.. I decided to give him a chance and we had sex a lot (HB). And that's when I got preg. When I found out in Aug I didn't even tell H for about a week cuz I was not happy about it. He ruined something very special, that we wanted so bad and had been trying for for so long. I hated him for what he did. I really wanted to wait a couple years before I'd even consider trying for another baby. I wanted time to work on everything and make sure I was really going to stay married to H. I do love this baby (a girl!) and she has helped me stay focused on what's important through all this. We are taking things one day at a time. And our MC says this baby came at the perfect time. That she will help to bring us closer. We'll see...

BS (me)- 28
SA FWH (him)- 29
D-day #1 (part of the story) 7/5/11
D-day #2(the WHOLE story) 7/11/11
Married 4 1/2 yrs, together 5 yrs.
Working on R..
~What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!~

Posts: 19 | Registered: Oct 2011
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Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, January 3rd (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

edited: no venting here. just reread rules. sorry about that.

[This message edited by silverhopes at 11:24 AM, January 7th (Saturday)]

Find peace. Or sleep on it.

Posts: 3762 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
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Member # 34537
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, January 16th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got pregnant about a month after the end of WH's A. It certainly wasn't planned. I had hastily made a birth control switch about two months prior in an effort to help "fix" myself as I had been suffering from adjustment disorder for about two years. It wasn't diagnosed until after D day when I got into IC.

Although I wish I had had more time to work on R before this happened, and I do experience some of the same feelings others have mentioned about how this baby keeps me from having the same choices I might otherwise have had, I don't feel strongly like the pregnancy is tainted.

It is a little bit, though. If the A had never happened, I think this time would be much happier.

That said, the biggest issue I've faced is wondering what people think about the pregnancy. For example, WH's mother suspected the A, but has never come right out and said it. When I got pregnant, she was very happy for us, but in the back of my mind, I wondered what she was thinking.

The OW actually did ask if I did it to "trap" him. I mean, really? Should I have to face such questions about getting pregnant by my own husband?

BW 33 (me)
WH 43 (him)
Together 13 years, married 9.
PA/EA May 28 through August 23, 2011. I knew about it the whole time.
D step-son 23 (Just married!)
DD 13, DD six months
Status: R

Posts: 154 | Registered: Jan 2012
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Member # 34507
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, February 2nd (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is anyone else in this boat now?

I'm now 36 weeks along. I found out about my husband's affair about two months ago and have been lurking here reading posts, but finally decided to share my own story.

These last two months have been such a roller coaster. I think I've cried everyday for two months straight. I still think about his affair on a daily basis and feel angry and depressed about it, but IC and MC have been helping. My husband has no NC with the OW and is now much more interested in the baby and in this pregnancy (which was planned and something we both wanted anyway).

How are you all doing? Any new parents care to share their experiences of delivery/post-partum while dealing with the stress of an affair?

Me: BS 37
WH: 40
Married 3 years, together 10 years
1 DD, 1.5 years old
D-day: 11/27/2011; EA/PA for 10 months
Considering all options

Posts: 61 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: East Coast, US
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Member # 34240
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, February 3rd (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Upside-Down, I fear too many of us are in this boat. Like you I have been a lurker and this is my first post to this thread.

I have had a hard time with being excited about this pregnancy with lurking fears that my fWH agreed to have this baby out of some feeling of guilt or fear that I might find out (we had discussed trying for #2 for a while, and we started trying 6 months after the A, but 4 months BEFORE I found out about it). He assures me that he wanted to have this baby for the right reasons, but it has been hard for me to believe him.

To complicate things, his affair resulted in an OC, and he found out about the OC in October- after I was pregnant and just before the OC was born. that child is a girl, and part of me hopes that I am carrying a boy just to differentiate my child, that was concieved on purpose and with love, from the OC (who will be just six months older than this baby). I know that if the baby I am carrying is a girl I will love her just as much, but in my weaker moments I want this clear distinction between my child and the OC.

I too am wondering how others have fared after the babies are born, I am hopeful, but also scared that my fWH and I will lose ground in the strides we have made to strengthen our marriage since Dday.

Hugs to all.

BS (me) 33
WS (him) 31
D Day 12/8/11
Married 8 years, together 12
Daughters, 4 and 9mo
PA resulted in OC Nov. '11

Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2011
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Member # 34507
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, February 5th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh hurt&unsure,

Thanks for sharing your story. I think it is only natural to view your pregnancy in the context of the affair and to wonder what his motives are/were. In your case, since the A was already over, maybe he did want to have this child with you to re-establish your relationship together and bind you closer.

It must have been devastating to find out about the OC. I have asked my WH if there is any chance that the OW could be pregnant, and he's said no. Still, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Have you been tested for STDs? Besides the normal round of testing they do in the first trimester, I asked for STD tests at my 7 month appointment to make sure there was no chance of transmitting something to my baby during delivery.

Sending you strength and hugs

Me: BS 37
WH: 40
Married 3 years, together 10 years
1 DD, 1.5 years old
D-day: 11/27/2011; EA/PA for 10 months
Considering all options

Posts: 61 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: East Coast, US
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Member # 34507
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, February 5th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, does any one have experience taking anti-depressants during pregnancy or while nursing?

I talked to my Dr. about this and did a lot of research online. I've never taken anti-depressants before, but I feel like they might help me to function better and be a stronger mom. My Dr. wrote me a prescription for the lowest dose of Zoloft, but I've decided to wait until after I deliver the baby just in case. I know they can take a month to feel a difference. From what I've read, the amount of medication that can be transmitted while nursing is really miniscule. Still, I don't want to cause my baby any irritation.

Anyone have experience with this?

Me: BS 37
WH: 40
Married 3 years, together 10 years
1 DD, 1.5 years old
D-day: 11/27/2011; EA/PA for 10 months
Considering all options

Posts: 61 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: East Coast, US
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Member # 34844
Default  Posted: 6:05 AM, February 18th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wondering if anyone is still around? I've just discovered SI. I found out about WH's affair whilst heavily pregnant, and had our baby at the time of emotional turmoil shortly after Dday. I don't think it has affected my relationship with baby, but it has affected my memories of the time - I've blanked out most of them, I couldn't bear to take as many photographs, and now I feel sad that this is time we will not get back. I'm really working on myself at the moment, to try to make sure we will all be OK with or without him. But it's very hard.

Re antidepressants - I've talked about these with my doctor. There are some available that are safe with breastfeeding and your doctor will advise. We decided not to bother because the doctor felt that my mood was not out of proportion to the events, and would be unlikely to be lifted by medication.

Me: BW 40ish
Him: WH 50ish
Married 12 years, 3 daughters aged 0-9
OW: 40ish, coworker with WH
EA+PA since April 2011 (during my pregnancy)
Status: limbo

Posts: 59 | Registered: Feb 2012
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Member # 34844
Default  Posted: 6:05 AM, February 18th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oops double post!

[This message edited by uniquorn at 8:33 AM, February 18th (Saturday)]

Me: BW 40ish
Him: WH 50ish
Married 12 years, 3 daughters aged 0-9
OW: 40ish, coworker with WH
EA+PA since April 2011 (during my pregnancy)
Status: limbo

Posts: 59 | Registered: Feb 2012
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Member # 30699
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, February 27th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sadly it looks like I belong here. If you want to know the first part of my story please read it in my profile. I just found out last week that I am pregnant and my WF had a double betrayal going on at the same time. I am now 4 weeks and 5 days pregnant and so stressed and scared. Here is what happened since last fall. WF and his ex, in October, had an emotional affair. I found this out in January. At the same time he was having another emotional affair with a woman he worked with. When I found out about his ex through his ex's mom he promised me he would try. And he seemed too. I had no idea about the second affiar going on. Then mid February I started to get pregnancy symptoms. We have had 5 miscarriages over the past2 years so I was worried and scared and stressed. He told me he suspected I could be pregnant and acted all happy. A few days later while I was making dinner he told me he was no longer in love with me. I was shocked. At first he said there was no one else but then admitted to having another affiar. He said he was in love with her. I demanded to talk to her. He called her and told me that if she didn't want to talk then I would not get the phone. But she did want to talk. And I quickly learned and so did she that he had lied to both of us. She told him it was over. She never wanted to see him agian. Within 24 hours he told me knew he was in love with me and was scared of his feelings. We found out for sure that I was pregnant the next day.

In January of 2011 he was diagnosed as being borderline personality disorder. We learned that basically the way he sees things is he tries to surround himself with people or events that will confirm to him that he is a bad person because that is how he sees himself. And that when he knows someone is healthy for him or someone truely loves him then he will do all he can to destroy that since it is too scary to handle the unknown. If not for the diagnoses I would be gone. But I also suffer from mental illness (post Tramatic Stress Disorder from a rape, Bipolar - low scale, agoraphobia and anxiety/panic disorder). If I expect him to accept me with my mentle health issues then I sould stand by him as he tries to over come his.

All on his own last week he quit the job he works at where he worked with the other woman. He then went out and bought a wedding ring to wear on his finger. All his choices. He says that this will remind him that he is taken and show other women that as well. He has also be talking more and listening more and has been b\very concerned about how I am feeling both physcially and mentally.

I don't know why I am posting other then I feel very alone right now, very stressed and very scared. I know I love him. As long as he wants to try then so do I. I know what it is like to be udge and deserted by people you trusted when they learn about your mental illness. I just don't know what else to do. I just feel lost and alone.

Me - 36 -BF
WF - 43
dd1- 04/10 PA, dd2- 06/10 EA, dd3- 07/10 PA, dd4- 09/10 EA, dd5- o5/11 EA, dd6- 01/12 EA, dd7- 02/12 EA & PA.
He is a Serial Cheater.
We are expecting soon.

Posts: 80 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Canada
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Member # 34911
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, February 27th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I recently found this thread and sadly belong here also.

I found out in september 2011 that I was pregnant with baby #2 for WS and I, we were both scared since I had just suffered a miscarriage a few months earlier in late july. When I was 20weeks pregnant I found out that my gut feelings were true and WS was having an affair with one of his managers.
How did I find out? I asked the OW what was going on between them. She told me that they had been dating for 2 months and he said I knew. When I told her that I had not known and that he was actually cheating on me with her she was apologetic and very open and honest with me about anything I wanted to know. He had failed to tell her that I was pregnant and that he had started his affair with her when I was only 12weeks pregnant. Of all the ways in the world he could possibly hurt me I never in a million years thought he would do this, especially while I was pregnant with HIS second child.

kids- 2yrs and 2nd due 5/27/12
DDay- 01/06/2012
Still unsure about R....

Posts: 11 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Louisiana
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Member # 34960
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, March 2nd (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I belong here too, sadly. I found out a week ago about his PAs- I still don't have all the details as we are waiting for counselling. We have a lovel DS who is nearly 2 and I am 29 wks pregnant. Apparently the PAs started when I was pregnant 3 years ago! I am so mixed up and have been reading lots of information on here but feel a bit frozen at the moment. I know I should contact my HV to give them a heads up but due to financial pressures we'll be moving across the country about 2 months post baby. Everything is such bad timing- although it would never be a good time to know, would it?!

Posts: 7 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: United Kingdom
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Member # 34240
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, March 5th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feeling better about being pregnant now and looking forward to this baby. For quite some time since our "situation" exploded I was unsure about how I felt about having another baby- what my H's motives were, how it would affect our attempts to reconcile, if I would be "there" enough for the baby when I am still such a mess myself, and how all of this stress is affecting our little person- but for the past week or so, things have been looking up!

I ordered some baby stuff from the internet that I had been planning to get, worked on setting up the baby's room a little bit, and took some "third trimester" pictures (that was hard, I know I am supposed to get bigger while pregnant but the infidelity combined with the pregnancy body is taking a toll on my body image). My H and I have been talking more about the baby, some serious and some funny conversations, and overall, I am just feeling more optimistic than I have since D-Day. this baby is a mover and shaker, too, and feeling (and seeing) the kicks and pushes has helped me feel more of a bond.

Just wanted to share a positive post, I am sure there are MANY more ups and downs to come, but I wanted to share one of the "ups"

BS (me) 33
WS (him) 31
D Day 12/8/11
Married 8 years, together 12
Daughters, 4 and 9mo
PA resulted in OC Nov. '11

Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2011
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Member # 34958
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, March 9th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't believe there are so many of us...

My WH says his A started in Sep 2011 - I was about 7 months pregnant. Cell records show they started communicating outside of work just a few weeks after we found out we were pregnant. And it wasn't a surprise pregnancy or anything - we had been trying to get pregnant for 6 months!

Seriously, what kind of man cheats on his pregnant wife?? It just disgusts me.

Me: 34
WH: 35
DS: Born 11/2011
D-Day: 2/26/2012

If someone wants to be with you, there's nothing you can do to make them go. If someone doesn't want to be with you, there's nothing you can do to make them stay.

Posts: 79 | Registered: Feb 2012
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Member # 35427
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, April 27th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Late, but yes, you can take AD's while pregnant or nursing. Just get a psychiatrist and OB who can communicate.

My pg story is almost creepy. My WH met his AP LITERALLY between the time we conceived our third (surprise) baby and the time I actually found out I was pg. So I was pregnant with our daughter, he met OW, was pissed about the baby, consummated the affair shortly after the pregnancy was revealed.

The whole thing was pretty awful.

That baby has been the light in my life, truly.

Me: BW 37
Him: WH 47(I think a formerly)
three children under 12
OEA 2005
PA 10/09-4/10
We separated, I refused to reconcile. He stayed with OW while still pursuing me. We are now tentatively in R.

Posts: 20 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
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Member # 34797
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, May 2nd (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugly, sordid story...WH waited until the birth of our 2nd son to confess everything and leave. It was about an hour after we brought him home from the hospital; WH managed to take enough time to get son #1 down for a nap and wait for grandma to leave. The A started while I was pregnant, although the numerous anonymous ONSs occured throughout our marriage (and yes, both babies were totally planned).

Me: BW, 34
Him: WH, 32
2 beautiful baby boys
DDay 1: 2/8/12
TT til DDay 2: 3/3/12
Status: R as of 5/6/12

Posts: 66 | Registered: Feb 2012
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Member # 35529
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, May 15th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been reading a lot about pregnancy after the A. I thought I'd write about my situation:
This last fall, after about half a year working on reconciliation, my H and I decided to try for another baby. It was a very vulnerable thing for me to do, but I felt like I needed to take a leap of faith with him, and if I waited for the trust to be rebuilt, it might be too late. So we tried, and on our first go round, succeeded.
When we went in for our first OB appointment, the nurse couldn't find a heartbeat with the doppler or the ultrasound. The OB came in, moved us to a different room with a better ultrasound machine. On our way, she told us that things didn't look good. She confirmed that our baby had no heartbeat. She scheduled a D and C at the hospital for the miscarriage (for safety concerns and because we live in a cabin without running water and that would have been really sad and messy and cold to deal with in a sub-zero outhouse!) I was disappointed and upset, and though all the logical reasons a miscarriage happens were explained, being human, I couldn't help but think of all the non-logical reasons why it may have happened.
After processing and grieving (which I'm still doing), I realized that this miscarriage was so painful to me because of what the pregnancy had represented for our reconciliation. The pregnancy was a way for me to tell my partner I was on the path to trusting him again. It was also a way I might have let other people who knew about the affair, know that we were serious about reconciling.
I thought of the pregnancy as a nice, tidy bow to tie on the end of our "rough patch". So when the miscarriage happened, I lost this tidy milestone in our couplehood that I had latched onto.
I began to blame the miscarriage on my doubts, my lack of trust, my uncertainty about the future and strength of our relationship.
It was a sad, sad winter. But the trees are finally greening out up here in the Far North and it's getting better.

Me: 32, BS Him: 33,(f?)WS
Married 5 years, together 8.
Kids: a 2 year old and miscarriage
D-day 6/1/2011
EA fall/winter/spring 2010
ONS (OW from Craigslist) 4/30/11

Posts: 12 | Registered: May 2012 | From: far north
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Member # 35640
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, May 25th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Anyone still here? I posted my story in Just Found Out but to recap, I found out in Sept 2011 that I was pregnant with our 3rd child. It wasn't planned & I had suspicions of an A but WH always denied it & things between us were going pretty well. However, he moved out shortly after we found out about the pregnancy & has yet to move home. The A was confirmed by the OW 2 days before I had our son. I was worried the entire pregnancy that I wouldn't feel bonded to this baby or I would be too depressed to care for him but he has honestly been the best thing that has happened to me in the past 9 months. I am so in love with him & there is nothing like newborn snuggles to cheer you up. No matter what happens with WH, I know having this baby is the best thing I could have done (termination was suggested by several family & friends early on) & just wanted to share this with anyone newly pregnant & having doubts. The baby has brought me more joy in the past 2 weeks than I have had in a long time!

Me: BS 40
Him: WS 38
Married 10 yrs, together 13
DS-7, DD-5, DS- 1
D-Day 5/9/12, 2 days before #3 was born
Filed for D 8/12; D final 4/13

Posts: 187 | Registered: May 2012
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Member # 34336
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, May 26th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi. Sadly I belong here too.
I have a beautiful 4 month old daughter. I found out at 8 months pregnant that my husband of 7 years ( partner of 17) had been having an affair from the time I was three months pregnant.
We are still together - hopefully for the long term. I don't know if I believe any of what he says about the affair. It doesn't really matter anyway. I will doubt any answer he can give because I now know he can lie to me.
We tried for over a year to conceive and both really wanted this baby.( almost started IVF.) He totally freaked out about the responsibility when we finally were. I spent the last half of my pregnancy feeling unloved, unattractive and not knowing why until almost the end. Such a contrast to the happy time I had been anticipating. when I found out I was distraught and cried almost non stop. My best friend hurt me more than I could comprehend.
I now have a baby girl and will never be sorry for that no matter what happens. She will always come first.( I suspect that would have been the case even without the affair). I am more in love with her than I knew was possible.
I was not depressed despite my sadness. I was grieving... For the loss of my fairy tale romance. I now know fairy stories don't exist. Silly me for thinking it was possible. I am older and wiser. Leaving my husband would not change that. I used to think we had the perfect marriage. There was nothing identifiably wrong before we became pregnant. I did more for my husband than I should have. Changing men won't make how I feel better. I would always suspect that another man could do the same. Once I thought I knew my husband had my back. Now I only think that he does. He will have to spend the rest of his life showing me hecisxworthy of me. Because I deserve better than the behavior he showed. I also know deep down he is a good man and this was entirely out of character. Still- I will not stay in our relationship unless I am happy. I promise to do my best to maintain it, but some of the loyalty has gone. He will not come first again. I will always remember what happened even though I am trying to forgive it. He has forced me to plan for a life without him. I have started a bank account - he knows- a running away fund if needed. Sad. Necessary. I hope our daughter will get to grow up with both parents. I know she will not be happy if we are not happy together. We have a long history and are going to try to work things out. I will no longer be afraid to stand up for my terms. I deserve better than I was given. My husband acknowledges that.
Here's hoping...

I still would not change a thing because I have my daughter. For those of you still expecting- just wait. It's hard- but your baby is worth it. Good luck.

I have never felt so unwanted, unloved and vulnerable. I am trying to make myself stronger.
Me: BS, 34yo
Him: WH, 34 yo
Married 8 years, together 17.
D-day: found out dec1st 2011 when 7 months pregnant with first child
A:? Emotional, lasting >

Posts: 12 | Registered: Dec 2011
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Member # 36542
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, August 18th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A few weeks ago, 7 weeks after the birth of our first child, I found out that my husband had been having an A with an old friend of mine. The HW forwarded me some nude photos of my husband that he had sent to her. Up until I recieved this email, I didn't have any clue at all that something was amiss. The A began last November and her emailed marked the end of the A. My husband and I have had issues in the past, he's depressive and self destructive, but things appeared to be looking up. Throughout my pregnancy, I felt great about my marriage and the family we were starting. Now I am crushed. My whole life feels like a lie. It took me a few weeks to recover from the baby blues, but I did have a few weeks where I got to enjoy my daughter and my new life as a mother, so I know how great being a mom can be. Now I feel too depressed to deal with the stresses of having a newborn. I'm overwhelmed by guilt on days when I can't muster the joy and energy needed to take good care of my daughter. My husband seems to geninely regret his actions and he is committed to R, but no number of "I love yous" or "I'm sorrys" seem to help. As anyone with a newborn knows, getting enough sleep is a real issue. Now, with all the anxiety I feel, it seems impossible. In a week I return to work and I worry that I'm going to screw up my job because I'm so anxious, depressed and exhausted. I have a large and loving family, but we have agreed not to tell them about his. They would never forgive my husband and I think they would discourage me from forgiving him. At this time, my MIL, SIL and his best friend are the only people who know about this. They want us to work it out, but I worry that it is out of concern for him and not because they think it's in my best interest. I feel lonely, isolated, lost, afraid, angry and depressed and I don't know what to do with all of these emotions. We started MC, but it's a slow process and I'm not a patient person. Any advice that people can offer with regard to where to begin my recovery and our R would be greatly appreciated. Also, how do you find the time and energy to be an new parent, to take care of yourself and to work on R?

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