Have you confronted her with evidence?
I think my only option is to dump my cheaterboy and hope he misses me so much that he'll finally take my feelings seriously and give me the answers i need to feel like i can actually trust him again.
I went to work 24/7 (pretty much) searching. There was not a piece of lint in my house, a remote corner, that wasn't scrutinized each and every single day. I went through months old trash. I did everything I could, spent money like water, and it all came down to him napping one night and me going through his wallet ... again.
Found his checklist of things to say to OW#1, the 20 year old who told him she was pregnant. The same day I got his Yahoo password and had evidence of MOW#2. Five days later he emailed her and we were through.
Patience and ceaseless vigilance. If they won't give you truth and you need it, do what you have to to find it. You cannot live the rest of your life with their lies lying there unexamined.
Relentless, ceaseless vigilance ... and luck. Eventually they will slip up and you will find what you need.
- Christian Bovee
"It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard."
- Dorothy Parker
I'm so tired of hearing "we're just friends", they sound like a couple of parrots repeating it. I don't care if they are "just" friends, they've spent so much time together it's ridiculous. I'm such a tool.
[This message edited by 2yrsinthedark at 1:50 AM, March 16th (Sunday)]
Married 18 yrs
two yr EA (maybe longer, maybe w/ more than one)
4 Kids 15,13,8,8
That "parrot" thing resonated with me. That is what WH sounds like (stock, pat answers concerning $, memory).
Sometimes I want to just go up to him and scream: "Just WHO the fuck are you fooling, creep?!!"
Its all part of psychopathic *duping delight*...so when he asks me anything, I gaslight right back.
Ummm, how irritating! hehe
Welcome to our thread, 2yrs.
[This message edited by dreamlife at 7:46 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)]
Yup I'm still in the dark, well actually let me say he "tries" to put me in the dark, with no luck.
Let's see, 3 years ago I all of a sudden had a gut feelings he was cheating on me. I snooped, found some pretty good evidence...a phone number he called late at night over and over and over, I called it..girl answered..I hung up (regret that 100%) I called him and confronted him..said it was his boys number. Well I don't know of any man who would call their "boy" over and over late at night unless they are gay (which he isn't), he said the girl who answered was his girlfriend...yea ok *eyeroll*. Even though I didn't believe a word of it..I let it go, well I just didn't say anything more about it. One day after work says he's going to Walmart to buy new sheets for the bedroom set he surprised me with (guilt gift?)...thought it was kinda odd he was bringing his 3 friends with to go to Walmart..but whatever. He left around 5pm, 6pm rolls around, then 7pm, then 8pm..till finally 10pm rolls around and wow...Walmart closes at 10...still no H. Mind you when he left, he left me with our 3 kids (at the time ages 5, 2 and 6months) to take everything out of our room (like I said it was a "surprise" so I had no warning to clear the old bedroom set out) and put the new one in (that was blocking my whole kitchen). AT 10:30 my neighbor/friend says that she will drive around to look for him, 30min later she calls saying no luck...no longer then we hang up she calls back "you're H is at the strip club down the street!!!" I go down there, he's standing out front...gives this story that his friend needed him there *eyeroll again*...didn't believe him but let it slide...again. 2 weeks later, bank statement came in mail, H opens it, looks at it puts it in a trash bag and takes it to the dumpster. H had not taken out the trash in months. He leaves, I go to the dumpster, crawl inside (yes I was INSIDE the dumpster!!!) get the bag, read the statement and wow what would you know, a charge for a hotel room. I leave, go to my moms, call the bank to get all info. Call him, confront him...all he can say is "you climbed in the dumpster???" Denied everything, I ask him if he has his card...he says yes. So I ask him, "Ok so you're saying someone must have took your wallet out of your back pocket, took your card out, put your wallet back, bought a hotel room, went back to your wallet and put your card back?" And he said "YES!!!!!" Later that night he tells me that he did buy the room but it was for a going away party for one of his friends. *eyeroll*.
Fast forward 3 years to now.He gets home from his 3rd tour in Iraq in Oct. Starts going out every weekend sometimes not coming home at night, tells he all kinds of "stories". Finally he says he has enough of me accusing him, he moves out. Tells me there is no one else, he isn't sleeping with anyone..so we continue sleeping together..sometimes everyday. I start having a gut feeling plus some small evidence that he is seeing the girl who lives next door to his friends he is staying with. The girl is married,actually the Friend and this girl live right down the street from me...I know this girl. I find out that this girls h is in Iraq. For about 2 months I accuse H of having an A with her...denies denies denies. One night I find texts from her to him..him to her. None of them say too much, but I KNEW then that I was right. He denies anything, says that it's a weird situation over there, that he wishes I only knew. OK whatever. He started coming over more..using the PC here, I get into his Myspace one night. I find a letter that the girl had wrote him 2 days before. She says that she knows he doesn't want her to call or text but she had to e-mail him.She says that she is going to miss holding him and kissing his lips, she talks about how she thinks they fight because they had to sneak around etc... I confront him, he denies it all!!!! At first he says I wrote the letter!!! Then he says the girl is crazy...he has NO IDEA why she wrote this!!! *eyeroll* I told him wow people are really out to get you? He said YES! So That's where I'm at now, haven't gotten any answers. He did move back in.Says he loves me etc.. I bring up the whore almost everyday, and he gets pissed. He will not admit to anything!!!!!!!
That's my story...My long depressing story!!!
D-Day~2-10-08 *Even though I "knew" before then...
~~~He can't stop cheating, and I can't stop loving him~~~
~You ruined me~
~How do I start a new life when all I've ever known is you in
I don't bother asking questions anymore. Waste of my time.
Have you tried the 180? It might help you (keyword being *you*).
Sorry you're going through this. It's a helluva place to be. . . .
He reminds me of a runaway freight train loaded with black coals of lies n deception.
He made out his "Will" which looked very good on the surface. Its hard to fathom WHY he would go to all this trouble of notarizing, printing it out, spending $...just to continue on "duping me"?
(I did respond by telling him via e-mail that I never liked Easter eggs hunting at my age...)
And, it/Will never addressed any of the *hidden assets*!
He never replied back to my e-mail as is the usual in his passive-aggressive Game. Instead, he suggested I find out about the over 2K he invested n I lost in a bank IRA...to see if bank ins. will cover this.
As my friend pointed out, he already KNOWS this "answer"...just more "hoops" for me to jump through!
Awww, fucker!! Loathe the POS!
Awwww, screw him and just cannot wait to feed him to The Tax Man.
They won't stand for "being in the dark" too long.
[This message edited by dreamlife at 1:22 PM, March 22nd (Saturday)]
If it had NOT been for some great techie help in my early days here plus my key logger, I would TOTALLY BE IN THE DARK.
But the little I was able to get...wow, its such a relief!
There is nothing like having some info vs. being in a virtual blackout!
Keyloggers/techies couldn't help me, since H doesn't use a computer at home.
I keep reading posts that say the truth always comes out, eventually. Not sure I believe it, but you never know.
Anyway, you sound strong, girl! Brava!
I probably wouldn't have appreciated it right after dday or anything......but I'd lmao now!!!
"I did not do it".
"I don't know".
"I don't recall."
"It wasn't me".
I don't remember..."
"I wish I could recall, but I can't..."
Ad nauseum, over & over.
How does one spell Frustration??
*Luv my key logger*!
This is all of my “evidence” but I am still in the dark. He swears there is no one else. I told him the odds were not in his favor and he said he is the exception to the rule. HMMMM. Guess I’ll never know.
In fact, a whole lot of it sounds just *classic*.
Good for you that you found the clarity and strength to quit wasting your life over a man not worthy of you!
sadtoo, here, has a great Sig line...you might want to read her profile.
I will probably never know the names of the women, and men, my psycho WH cheated with...however, just to know he was being secretive, ignoring me, & lying constantly, and disrespecting me and our vows is now...enough!