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User Topic: For Those Still In The Dark
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, Jitter, and few psychopaths are really & truly violent.

WH is not just "intelligent"...his psychiatrist, in front of me, called him "BRILLIANT".
(He's a Neurologist as well).

I was just on the site...chilling!

Remember "Mr. Helpful" Ted Bundy who wore a fake cast to get victims to help him, who worked on a rape crisis hotline, etc., etc, ad nauseum?

WH reminds me so much of him!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This worries me, dream. Are you safe?

Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 1:50 AM, July 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, Jitter, we r physically seperated going on 2 years.
He's just very CREEPY...in fact, he would creep around silently behind me when he lived w/ me and just make me feel very, very unsettled.
In retrospect, he's very content living like a secretive paranoid hobbit without anyone "monitoring" his Dual Life constantly.
He gets to wear his cherished wedding band and dupe the world that he's STRAIGHT.
I'm not concerned about him being violent...he is not into hunting, guns, etc. Far from it.
But, he would destroy my SANITY so he can never come back into my home and he seems just fine w/ this.
Besides, he's afraid of my 2 dogs (if he did try to do *anything* to me, the Pack instinct would kick in and he'd be like beef jerky strips to them)...& my huge Siamese male cat, believe it or not.


But, if I allowed him back into my aura, he'd thrive on GASLIGHTING ME TO DEATH, slowly but surely.

PS And, furthermore, I am physically STRONGER than he is.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, July 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he's very content living like a secretive paranoid hobbit

That's quite the visual there, dream.

He gets to wear his cherished wedding band and dupe the world that he's STRAIGHT.

Good grief. Talk about living a lie.

And, furthermore, I am physically STRONGER than he is

I'm betting you're stronger than he is in every way.

Glad you're safe.



Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, July 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for caring.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, August 1st (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, we've marched into August now...any progress to report?

I might have a bit of a "break through" shortly!

big hugs, everyone, & try to not be discouraged!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Gullible
♀ Member
Member # 20005
Angry  Posted: 11:34 AM, August 1st (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Jitterbug, Capri, Dreamlife, and everyone else still "in the dark." Don't have a lot to update, but...as for that phone number, I haven't brought it up again to my H, but I recalled having called some of the questionable numbers in the past and on occasion even spoke to some of the people at the other end. I went back through my cell bills and realized that I did talk to a woman at this number back in April. I should document things better! From what I remember, the person I spoke to said she didn't know my H and had even talked to me for quite some time (which I found a bit strange.) From what I remember, she was even apologetic for what I was going through. Now I am thinking that she probably knew something about me, and was just playing along. I remember when I asked her name, she told me some African name I could barely pronounce! When mom of 2 looked up this number for me, it was a weird african name. The real sticking point that there is something fishy to this woman and this number is that there is some obvious connection to my H. This was the number he called at 2:30 am on Xmas and he claimed was a number he saw on his phone and just "called back" but was a wrong number. Funny how that same number showed up a few days later trying to call him (just a 1 min call) but the biggest deal breaker is when he brought his work phone home on accident and I saw that same number when I pressed re-dial!!! Meaning, he obviously called this person from work! I asked him yesterday if he works with any African people (not African-American.) He told me "no." So, then , who is this African woman? I called a few times to hear who answered and it was an african woman. I hung up. The other night, I couldn't get a hold of my H and he came home very late- went out after work, didn't have cell phone (conveniently left it at home), and didn't call me. Got off of work in the early afternoon and came home at 2 a.m. I called the woman's number again that night, and got her voicemail msg. for the first time. Maybe she was out w/ him? She definately had and african accent. He claims he was at some bar playing pool. Yeah, for 6 or 7 hours? AND he "forgets" to call me??? Blah!!! another big fight. Sick of his inconsideration! And again, after I chewed him out for 2 days he still tried to tell me how "controlling" I am, and how that is not normal! I find it funny that he is trying to judge what is normal, since he has no clue! I told him that it is "normal" to be able to get ahold of your spouse if you need to, and to know where they're at and what they're doing. How annoying that he turns this around on me!!! So, I still want to do more research on this number and try to get an address before I approach him or her again about this number!

Posts: 124 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I might have a bit of a "break through" shortly!

Go dream! I hope *somebody* around here gets a breakthrough!

Not much new on my end. I've once again started keeping track of his comings and goings and, as usual, things don't add up. I'm looking into GPS's at the moment. I hate the very idea, not to mention the expense, but the stress of all this is really getting to me.

Gullible: HUGE red flag with this woman, I'd say, and kudos for not bringing it up to your H. (I know how hard that is.) Have you read the first thread in I-Tips yet? I'm sure there's something in there will help you get to the bottom of this.


Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007
Gullible
♀ Member
Member # 20005
Shocked  Posted: 1:42 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Jitterbug,
I just printed the whole 73 page I-Tips threads... I am going to start with the cell phone number and name and try to use some of those web sites to see if I can link it to an address. I am also thinking of getting a couple of GPS units...haven't looked into the expense yet, but they're probably worth it. Anyone know if African women (not African -American- from here, but actually directly here from Africa) are into married men, or if they are often escorts? Just wondering....

Posts: 124 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gullible~ a ho is a ho is a HO.

huge hugs, sweetie!

[This message edited by dreamlife at 10:17 AM, August 2nd (Saturday)]


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well! How is everyone doing?

Gosh, I hope I did not kill this thread here!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Kodi
♀ Member
Member # 16237
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm here lurking. Still in the dark. Thought I could learn to live with it but not sure. I have no proof. Only what my gut tells me.

Posts: 1333 | Registered: Sep 2007
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to our dark little club, Kodi. I'm sorry you're here, but I and the others here sure sympathize. I've been in the dark a LONG time--not in my gut (or even in my brain, for that matter)--but I have yet to get the conclusive proof that I SO want to shove in his lying-ass face.

Funny thing is, I came here because of an A he had years ago. Recently, I've started to suspect he's up to no good again. Give them enough rope, I guess, and they'll hang themselves (unless I beat him to it).

This. Just. Sucks! ((Kodi))


Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007
Kodi
♀ Member
Member # 16237
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks JBR.
Just got a lot going on in my life right now. Feeling really down and stupid about the fact that he got away with it on top of everything else.
My IC once asked me if he was smarter then me and I give her the wrong answer when I said no because here I am with no proof so I guess he's is the smart one.

Posts: 1333 | Registered: Sep 2007
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Kodi,

Does he use a computer?

Perhaps the I Forum could be of some help.

I find what your IC asked you...rather odd.

(((((hugs))))


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Kodi
♀ Member
Member # 16237
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DL-No he doesn't use a computer. I have used the I-tips for back door phone numbers. That's about all I had to work with.
He's been off work for a few weeks and is headed back tomorrow. Of course now I'm having panic attacks.
Thanks

Posts: 1333 | Registered: Sep 2007
Hurtsadangry
♀ Member
Member # 9294
Default  Posted: 11:52 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I "just felt" that something was amiss - couldn't put my finger on it but just knew that something wasn't right. No phone calls (believe me I checked all phones, records, etc.) Come to find out my FWH? is a transvestite - this is what he's been hiding - this is why I just felt in my gut that something wasn't right again - this is what he tried to cover (both to himself and to me) with his A's. I don't even know how to begin to deal with this - I could deal (with great difficulty) with the OW's, but how to deal with this??? Unfortunately, I guess we need to keep these types of things in mind when we KNOW that something is wrong and can't put our finger on it.


Happily Divorced as of 7/13/2009 at 2:30 pm!

Posts: 1387 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Limbo
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, August 18th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HSA, my WH also liked dressing up, likes Gay porn, and God knows *what* else!

Is he straight~ or bi/gay?

Hang in there!

(((((huge hugs)))))


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Gullible
♀ Member
Member # 20005
Frustrated  Posted: 11:24 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone. I'm still around and I *think* in the dark, too. My H has been around alot when I have time to use the computer, so I haven't been able to post as much. I did start a couple of threads I didn't get responses to!! Does anyone know if there is a phone directory for US Cellular phone numbers? I have the name and number, but I want to find out the address linked to them. Also, I have a picture that my husband was "given" by a friend of some woman, and I am wondering if there is somwhere on the web I can post it to see if anyone recognizes her? It is a nude pic, so I might just have to crop off the body! He had different pics of women, but this one is particulary questionable. An update...the newest occurrences... I found a lip gloss (tinted, in a tube) which wasn't mine next to the passenger seat in my H's car, right next to the seatbelt. When I questioned him about it, he said it was his!!! Then I said to him, yeah, right, even if it was, why would it be next to the passenger seat, unless there was a woman sitting there! He claims he did not have any women sitting in his car, and that the gloss must have fell out of his pocket when he was taking the T-top off his car or putting it back on. He told me that there was a customer at his work (a store) that was trying to sell them to some of the employees (women) there, and left some samples. He says there were a bunch in the break room and he took one, and so did some other people he works with (supposedly including his boss, who is also male- he claims that his boss made a joke about using it to moisturize his lips-"don't question my masculinity.") I am wondering if anyone else has heard stories as odd as this, with strange little details that come out of their husband's mouth as if they are true? When I told him that I didn't believe he would use a lip gloss like that, he said it didn't have any color when you put it on. I actually made him put some on! It didn't have much color, really, but it was shiny!!! It was like one of those little vaseline tubes for your lips, only more glossy and with a pink tint. The really worrisome thing to me is that it was next to the passenger seat! My logic tells me a woman would have to be sitting there and have it fall out of her pocket or purse. Would you guys believe his story? Now, since I've been questioning him again, he has tried to turn things around on me and start accusing ME of having cheated on him! Projection, I guess. I told him that he is trying to get the focus off of himself- he has no reason to suspect me, but I have plenty of little things which I consider suspect!

Posts: 124 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Gullible--

Have you tried searching the names on whitepages.com? That might give you an address.

And the lip gloss story? Um, no, I don't believe it, especially given all the other red flags.

This brings home the point once again, though: don't confront unless you have *indisputable* evidence. This will only push him further underground. Read those tips in the I-tips forum (sounds like you ought to plant a VAR in his car).

Sorry this is happening. It sucks, I know.


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