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User
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Topic: For Those Still In The Dark
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dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 |  Posted: 7:04 AM, September 2nd (Tuesday), 2008 |     |
Jitter~ re: beating the crap outa him...well, one can only *dream*
sometimes.....   
I'll put on my thinking cap about that new found OW e-addy & hope everyone here does, too!
That is just too good to lie fallow!  
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25085 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
Kodi
♀ Member
Member # 16237 | | Posted: 9:33 AM, September 3rd (Wednesday), 2008 | |
For all those in the dark. How do you let go? How do you learn to live with the fact that you'll never know what really happened?
Posts: 1263 | Registered: Sep 2007 |
Beautiful
♀ Member
Member # 4723 | | Posted: 10:12 AM, September 3rd (Wednesday), 2008 | |
kodi - I am D, but all the same, all I know is what I guessed.
I don't know anything. I asked him once to be honest with me, but he couldn't even do that.
I live with it knowing that my ex is broken. He is incapable of being honest with me.
Posts: 1256 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: from the land of steady habits |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 2:35 PM, September 3rd (Wednesday), 2008 | |
If we are to recall the grief stages by Kubler-Ross, I guess when we finally arrive at "Acceptance"...& Move forward...& don't give the sneaky Fface any more *energy*...
Yeah, easier said than done, I know!   
It will always be at the nether recesses of my mind forever, I feel.
Its also a form of torture and ABUSE. 
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25085 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294 | | Posted: 11:07 AM, September 4th (Thursday), 2008 | |
For all those in the dark. How do you let go? How do you learn to live with the fact that you'll never know what really happened?
I don't know the answer to this, Kodi, but I'm definitely ready for it. I *need* to let this go. I know it's a waste of time and energy, but it's so hard for me.
I had a talk with my H the other day about how our troubles are affecting our DS. Unfortunately, I allowed the subject to veer off into our marriage. I keep learning the same damn thing over and over again: he's *never* going to be honest with me. I tell myself that's really all the truth I need to know. *That* truth trumps all the details of all the UNtruths he's told me over the years, doesn't it?
Maybe this is my way of not making the decision to end it. Sometimes I think I'm putting so much time and energy into these dead-ends to avoid the real issue: that my marriage is dead.
Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007 |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 7:06 PM, September 4th (Thursday), 2008 | |
I'm so sorry, Jitter...but I have had to face the fact that my M is 100% stone-cold dead...because I cannot accept being with someone (& calling him H!!!) who will keep me *in the dark*-- as the days go clicking merrily by!
And, I know this really, really hurts like Hell!
((((((huge hugs, sweetie))))) 
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25085 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294 | | Posted: 7:29 PM, September 4th (Thursday), 2008 | |
Thank you, dream. It means SO much to me to be able to write these things here. No one IRL seems to understand.
HUGE hugs back atcha!
Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007 |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 9:15 AM, September 5th (Friday), 2008 | |
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25085 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 1:29 AM, September 6th (Saturday), 2008 | |
Well, I did it tonite:
I e-mailed him as to WHO is on the beneficiary of his IRA! He has always kept me in the dark about this, too!
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25085 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294 | | Posted: 9:44 AM, September 6th (Saturday), 2008 | |
I don't know the story behind this, dream. Do you mean you found out who it is and emailed him about it? Did he respond?
((dream))
My H keeps me in the dark about finances, too. Asshat.
Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007 |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 2:09 PM, September 6th (Saturday), 2008 | |
Caught him in yet another smoke & mirrors LIE about his IRA...he told me it was ME & DD...trying to confuse me w/ his life ins. policy which I have no idea if he's let lapse or what!
No, Jitter, I need to know WHO he has named as his IRA beneficiary & since he blatantly LIED & has it PW protected, it surely ain't me, is it?
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25085 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294 | | Posted: 7:32 PM, September 6th (Saturday), 2008 | |
I need to know WHO he has named as his IRA beneficiary & since he blatantly LIED & has it PW protected, it surely ain't me, is it?
Yeah. I get it. (Every damn minute of every damn day!)
Have you looked into a financial forensics person? I mean, you're his WIFE  and you have a right to this information!
My H is *particularly* secretive when it comes to money. *Never* wanted a joint checking account. Huh. Go figure.
Asshats!!!
Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007 |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 10:47 AM, September 7th (Sunday), 2008 | |
Jitter, I can't afford a forensic anything...min. 10K to start.
No guarantees.
I can initiate LS/D to get the ball rolling...
Mine has numerous bank accts that he does not know I have seen.
And, I've only seen the tip of the $ iceberg -- so far.
However, I'm working on a Plan.
Oh, & the IRS has free forensics!
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25085 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294 | | Posted: 7:18 AM, September 8th (Monday), 2008 | |
Wow--10k to start with no guarantees? So much for that. But I'm sure you're right about the IRS being excellent at finding money (I just hope you don't end up being responsible for any unpaid taxes!).
Fingers crossed that The Plan works for you, dream. . . .
Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007 |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 3:29 PM, September 8th (Monday), 2008 | |
Well, que sera sera, jitter.
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25085 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294 | | Posted: 7:45 PM, September 8th (Monday), 2008 | |
Que sera, sera . . .
One of my favorite expressions . . . one of my favorite songs. . .
Maybe I'll get it tattooed on my forehead.
Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007 |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 5:32 AM, September 9th (Tuesday), 2008 | |
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25085 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
Kodi
♀ Member
Member # 16237 | | Posted: 5:52 AM, September 9th (Tuesday), 2008 | |
DL-what's going on!!!
Did you find what you were looking for?
Posts: 1263 | Registered: Sep 2007 |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 5:58 AM, September 9th (Tuesday), 2008 | |
ummm...not exactly, but I am a bit "closer"!
How are you doing, Kodi?
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25085 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
Kodi
♀ Member
Member # 16237 | | Posted: 6:07 AM, September 9th (Tuesday), 2008 | |
Having a not so good morning.
This being in the dark is really eating away at me. I'm tired of all this bullshit and want to be able to get on with some type of normal life. Have an appointment with a new IC today,
So are you still playing PI?
Posts: 1263 | Registered: Sep 2007 |
| Topic Posts: 832 | |
