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User Topic: Military Deployment/Affairs
Piper317
♀ Member
Member # 15330
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, October 21st (Sunday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

but I think the space helps a lot


Can that really be true?? My H is TDY at the moment until February and our DDay was just in July. He left in September and, strangely, I felt fine with him going (well, as much as I could knowing that the skank of an OW is there). We have been in R since DDay and this time apaprt has almost been good for me. Is that weird??


And I know being TDY (stateside no less) is NOT the same as being deployed BUT considering the A happened at all and te relative newness of it all, distance is distance, right?


Married 8 years, together 11
BS(me)-34 FWH-37 d-day 7/3/07
♥R!R!R!♥
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
Let your clarity define you.
"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." ~The Wizard

Posts: 1476 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: New York
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, October 21st (Sunday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can that really be true?? My H is TDY at the moment until February and our DDay was just in July. He left in September and, strangely, I felt fine with him going (well, as much as I could knowing that the skank of an OW is there). We have been in R since DDay and this time apaprt has almost been good for me. Is that weird??


And I know being TDY (stateside no less) is NOT the same as being deployed BUT considering the A happened at all and te relative newness of it all, distance is distance, right?

I was so leary at first. I thought putting our marriage "on hold" and him being free would destroy the little that was left of our marriage after DD2. I was petrified. In the beginning of the deployment, it was very rocky. He had free roam of the internet (and tried to take advantage). I really thought I was going to see my marriage disappear before my eyes. Then one day, it was like he got hit in the head with a sand bag or something. He got it. He got how I felt. Got what was appropriate. And the most important thing, he saw I can live life without him. He saw I was making a life for myself (and DS) and I didnt need him in order to live. And he realized if he didnt step up to the plate now, hed lose me and I could go on. If he were here, he wouldn't see I could do all that. He wouldnt see I can be independent and provide. I swear this deployment is a blessing in disguise (and a major reality check for FWH).


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
Soldiersgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8188
Default  Posted: 5:02 AM, October 22nd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lisa,

Too, they see alot of things over there. Dh has been extremely remorseful lately and I discovere it was because while he was chatting online with me one night, his buddy was on the phone and had found out his girl was cheating on him. Seeing that pain from his friend, and knowing that he did that to me, and that even though he had done that, that I was still here supporting him, forgiving him, loving him humbled him.

It feels nice to be appreciated. And yes, sometimes I think it scares them to know that they aren't the be all end all. We can live life without them. After all, hasn't the military trained us to be self reliant single mothers?


You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman
No man was ever shot by his wife while doing the dishes. ~ Anon
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. ~ Herbert Samuel

Posts: 1375 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Louisiana
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, October 22nd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dh has been extremely remorseful lately and I discovere it was because while he was chatting online with me one night, his buddy was on the phone and had found out his girl was cheating on him. Seeing that pain from his friend, and knowing that he did that to me, and that even though he had done that, that I was still here supporting him, forgiving him, loving him humbled him.

Kat,
Same thing with me. His friend got a "Dear John" and I think he understands the devestation because he empathizes with him.


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
Drowning
♀ Member
Member # 13057
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, October 24th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm just checking in to see how everyone here is doing, particularly those who have a spouse that's currently deployed/TDY/In the field, etc


D-Day: 10/16/2006
2007-RECONCILED
We're Happy, Content, In Love, and just had baby #2! CLOUD 9!

Posts: 718 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Cloud 9
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, October 24th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im hanging in there. FWH and I are doing great.. Its my family thats making me nuts.. How about you??


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
Soldiersgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8188
Default  Posted: 3:12 AM, October 25th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he finally got to call home after a month. It was really nice hearing his voice. Still going slightly insane because I have morning sickness that is out of control and preventing me from doing anything, and now I get to break in a new FRG leader. probably wouldn't annoy me so much but her hubby is a PV2, they're brand new to the army, and I just know that some of the NCO wives are going to pitch a big fat fit. I DO NOT have time to babysit some 19 year old who probably doesn't understand what she just got herself into. We have a huge company with over 300 spouses, some stateside, and different plts deploying at different times...

I suppose I should just pop some popcorn and enjoy the show..


You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman
No man was ever shot by his wife while doing the dishes. ~ Anon
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. ~ Herbert Samuel

Posts: 1375 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Louisiana
angm123
♀ New Member
Member # 16731
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, October 25th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whats up Y'll
I have had a good few laughs today reading some of your posts, of course not at the issues, just some of the things you have said. eg. DICKS BEFORE CHICKS , I havn't heard that one yet.

Well I have got out, we have got out of the military, it wasn't for me and I think if I was ok with it, he probably would have stayed in. Im british, met my american sexy H 8 yrs ago. Found out he cheated on me 2 1/2 yrs in...my daughter was 6 months old. This happened whilst TDY, then he went to Iraq but stopped in Cyprus on the way and fucked a prostitute or 2. Then 1 yr later because I still couldn't feel settled, I wanted the truth, He confessed to 3 more which are all ONS by the way, apart from the first in TDY, which she was 18 yrs old and hadn't a clue he was married, I spoke to her. He actually left me for a week and was AWOL legally but his flight chief covered for him. He didn't leave me for her, but he thought the marriage was over and I still dodn't know about it until he returned a week later and I saw a text saying " I hope your ok and I'm glad we had these extra few days together"
Its funny how you remember EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of EVERY SINGLE Deceite. My H couldn't really keep up with the lies he was telling me, and fuck me, there was loads.
The last time he cheated was the most hurtful one, after the confession 3 yrs ago, we were doing great. Then just before he deployed to Iraq again, I found out, but I found out the night the M'fucker got on that plane, so he was home-free, didn't have to face me....First He didn't come home til 4am a couple of weeks before he left to go and he swore down that he just went to the club, I flipped, because of our past CLUBS WERE OUT. Then he went away to Iraq and I saw an email, He set up a new account whilst over there, stupid M'fucker told me the password whilst on the phone to me and I quickly typed it in and saw 1 email from this bitch....I wish I could see her, I have never met her. First he said, it was just online silliness, flirting, then it was the girl he met in the club, but nothing happened, then he finally admitted he fucked her twice. Y'll don't need all the details, but yes I have been through hell, yes I have been to MC, I didn't know WTF to do about this last one, I knew that I had to leave and was scared shitless, I was weak and sometimes now I feel weak, especially when I post my story, its so embarrassing to be with a man like that. I have not done SHIT to him the whole time I have known him. He called everyday from Iraq, the 1st SGT told him he could, I didn't give a fuck mate, I would say anything over the phone, I'd say stupid shit like " well I hope Osma bin laden don't come and bomb y'll" and I'd be screaming down the phone details about what he had done, I didn't care, and still don't. I didn't say hardly anything at first, like for 3 weeks, I didn;t have nothing to say, me and my H have said everything there is to say about CHEATING, what could I say? why did u do it? how could u? what are we gonna do? I didn't want to say all the things I have said before, so I knew I had to leave. 9 weeks went by and I knew he was coing home in about 3 weeks or so, I found myself missing the shit out of him, buying sexy underwear, (crazy arn't I )He came home and we went to MC for 3 months, which isn't shit, it helped a little but I really knew all the things were supposed to be doing etc. The only answer my H has ever gave me and sticks to is that HE WAS SELFISH AND TOOK THE OPPORTUNITY, I believe that to some extent, the night he sneaked out to the club, I was with him at home and we were supposed to go out togetherm we couldn't get a babysitter so we stayed home, I went to bed and my daughter woke me up, I walked her back to her room and saw him gone. I also have my darling son too who is 3 now. We got out of the airforce and its bloody hard being a civilan without the military to wipe our asses!!! but its worth it, no I do not blame the military for what he done, but believe me, my H wouldn't have got all this attention in the states, hes good looking but not drop dead gorgeous, he is in my eyes, but I know good lookingm I used to go for them and that shit didn't get me anywhere lol. Women in england loooove americans, he met me when he just broke up with his first wife, he was faithful to her, they were together for 3 yrs and he met her when he was 20, he had only been with a few women when he had met me. Coming over to the UK and finding himself another serious relationship too soon, I think this had an impact on what happened, that just loved the attention and shit. But this last time he did it, which is now 14 months ago that excuse where he wasn't ready to settle down shit wasn't gonna fly. we had had another baby and been together 6 1/2 yrs, so fuck that.
Its been really hard and we are still together. I have not regretted being with him, he still makes me laugh, I love his smile, he takes care of us and does everything a wonderful husband should be doing, helps with chore (by the way he's always been like this) always. I never understood, how a man who is great o me and the kids can turn and do this to us. I never will.
I don't trust him yet, don't know how long thats gonna take. But we in the States now.
You know its scary to see that many people going through this, its awful, what world are our kids growing up in?
There should be a list of all adultry offenders, like there is paedophiles.
I bet I know a few of your H or W, who knows, I don't mean I've know them know them, but you know just in passing, or my friends who have slept with some of these married men who came over from the states to england, so anyone who has been based at RAF MILDENHALL AND LAKENHEATH HOLLA BACK.

Sorry to post sooo long, but once I get started I can't stop. I also get very very emotional when I talk about it to people, its there deep inside me, but It doesnt dominate my life no more. If it happens again, I will TOTALLY BLAME MYSELF, and walk away.
take care


Posts: 20 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: tx
Drowning
♀ Member
Member # 13057
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, October 25th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Eh, I'm having good days and bad days here. Sometimes I think the time apart is nice because it gives me time to contemplate things, time for myself etc. (well not really, I do have a child so no time is time to myself LOL)
and then other times I hate being apart and don't think I can stand it for another day. Back and fourth, back and fourth.


D-Day: 10/16/2006
2007-RECONCILED
We're Happy, Content, In Love, and just had baby #2! CLOUD 9!

Posts: 718 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Cloud 9
NCaliGrlatHrt
New Member
Member # 16775
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, October 25th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello~

I posted in the just found out forum and was told this thread existed so I'm here. I just found out that H had drunk sex with my cousin during r and r while we were on vacation to california visiting family. I found out like 2 days ago. This happened back in June. Supposedly out of love for me and not wanting to hurt me they decided not to tell me, however, my cousin told me a couple days ago because well, she realized that she just did it to get back at me for supposedly stealing her boyfriend in high school. uh, we are 33 now. so anyway, H is deployed to afghanistan and has been since Jan. not coming back until springtime. Confronted him, he admits, remorse, blahl blah, there was some discrepencies in the stories since of course, i wanted to know everything. since i cut off the cousin she has changed her story like 3 times now claiming he forced her and she is trying to somehow get him kicked out of the army. he is a repeat offender - cheated right before he left for basic with his ex girlfriend and it was a forgive and forget thing. we never went to MC or anything like that. that was 3 years ago and i am just realizing during the last 48 hours and readng a lot on the website and praying, that i have never even dealt with the original offense. ever since he did that the first time, we have basically just been existing together. all respect, everything was gone and even though i kept saying that i forgave him, i really didnt. i never let it go ever. always reminded him of it, etc. anyway - we have really been hashing things out as much as possible over the last couple days. i'm just not sure how much we can actually do being so far away and having only email, IM, and limited phone contact.

it may even sound crazy but after getting everything out and talking about it, i almost feel closer to him now than i have in years. is that crazy? he says he feels the same?!?!?! he says that he felt like nothing to me before, that he just took up space, that i didnt find him attractive or care much if he lived or died. well, maybe i didnt actually - since i never dealt with the first incident.

where to now? i am still deeply hurt. he has been going to the chaplain to talk the last couple days and wants to continue doing this as it is available... do i go to individual counseling? what are all of you doing to deal with this during a deployment as far as Reconciliation???

thanks - sorry so long.


Posts: 9 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: North Carolina
Piper317
♀ Member
Member # 15330
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, October 25th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone.
Thanks, Drowning, for checking on us all.

The past few days have been up and down for us. It is hard for me to make FWH understand that I am still going to have bad days...hell, we are only 3+ months out from DDay. I am still in IC but at the moment, he is off the hook (bc he is TDY) and I sort of resent that. I feel like I am finding myself and realizing that perhaps I lost myself in our realtionship. Anyway, I know he has to focus on training right now but all I want is some unprovoked acknowledgement that I am hurting and that it is HIS fault. So we had it out over this last night. I told him that he had the time to have a relationship with and screw someone else but can' deal with a down day or just be romantic for no reason?(Really, how long does it take to drop a card in the mail or even an email??)I told him I might not come see him for Thanskgiving and I may have finally gotten through a little.

Okay, sorry for the vent....but I feel a little better now bc I know you all GET IT and I don't have to explain.

Hope all is well elsewhere......


Married 8 years, together 11
BS(me)-34 FWH-37 d-day 7/3/07
♥R!R!R!♥
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
Let your clarity define you.
"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." ~The Wizard

Posts: 1476 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: New York
Kuwaited
♂ Member
Member # 5491
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, October 25th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There should be a list of all adultry offenders, like there is paedophiles.

Now there is an idea!!! Sort of a high-tech Scarlet Letter!!


"For every trip to the vet, there's a car ride.", Satchel Pooch.

"At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost." -- Tad...from Craig's List


Posts: 8487 | Registered: Oct 2004 | From: North Atlanta Burbs
Soldiersgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8188
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, October 25th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First off, **hugs** to our new, well our new partners down that path of recovery. I am so sorry that you have to be here, but I am so grateful that you have found us. Lets face it, the military "rallies" around each other, except for this. If you choose to work it out, then people think you obviously deserved it. Or that you were doing it too. It's annoying, but I digress, again. I'm good at that...lol.

angm, Can I just say I can almost hear your accent in your post? I'm utterly fascinated by British slang. Well, mostly the curse words but still. Everyone has a hobby. I have several friends at Lakenheath. I don't think they ever want to leave England.

NCaligirl, I'm a nor cal girl too. So of course your slang, I will totally get. Even if nobody else does. And are you sure we aren't related? I have petty cousins like that too. Remember, friends are gods way of making up for the family he gave you. I remind myself of that when I have to deal with mine. But again, digressing...lol.

I get what you both are saying. My FWH too was the "perfect" husband and his cheating was right out of the blue. To this day I cannot understand how such a wonderful loving person could just forget his family for a few nights of fun. But the good news is that he is learning from his mistakes, and finally began exploring the WHY of it. Until they do, then you can't really reconcile. It's like slapping a band aid over some gangrene and hoping the limb doesn't keep rotting off anyway.

Ncaligirl, Reconciliation during a deployment is very difficult. I didn't' even find out about the A until after he came home. But there is an absolutely wonderful lady on this thread who is a dear dear friend of mine, LMigs, who is also going through this process during a deployment. I'm sure she'll have some wonderful advice for you.

Sometimes I wish that these people who write these "surviving an affair", "what to do when he cheats" type of books would write one that deals with military. Especially recovery during a deployment. it usually seems that we all have the same questions, but nobody but those of us who are living that nightmare have anything close to answers, and even then we're not sure if they're the right ones.

But, needless to say, we are here to pick you up when you stumble, give you loving 2x4's when you need it, and to be a shoulder when you need one. Never hesitate to PM me. I'm here for all of you guys in any way that you need me to be.


You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman
No man was ever shot by his wife while doing the dishes. ~ Anon
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. ~ Herbert Samuel

Posts: 1375 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Louisiana
Piper317
♀ Member
Member # 15330
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, October 25th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Remember, friends are gods way of making up for the family he gave you.

SO TRUE!! That made me chuckle.


Married 8 years, together 11
BS(me)-34 FWH-37 d-day 7/3/07
♥R!R!R!♥
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
Let your clarity define you.
"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." ~The Wizard

Posts: 1476 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: New York
babywyble
♂ New Member
Member # 16781
Concerned  Posted: 7:04 PM, October 25th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi I am new so bare with me.My H didn't have and A during a deployment but I found out before he left for a deployment. We have decided to stay together and went to three conciling appts before he left. I have good days and bad days. I am just really stuggling with the A and him being Deployed. I am feeling lost at times. I am glad I have a place to come to share and not feel alone. Because right now it seems no one understands my situation of the A and a deployment on top of it...

Posts: 1 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: austrailia
phillygal
♀ New Member
Member # 16764
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, October 26th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all,
I am so glad they gave a forum just for us!
For those that want the full story I have posted in just found out under "is it just an excuse"

I am a AF spouse of 16 years and my WH is Security Forces, so as you can imagine over the years we have spent many months apart with long deployments.

WH came back from a remote tour in Jan 2007 after spending 1 year in Korea, We were stable, happy and in love, then in July of this Aug he tells me he is in love with a 25 year old woman (also active duty) whom he works with and is deployed with now, they have been having a PA since June and he doesn't know what he wants???

WH and the OW left for Iraq the beginning of Oct and won't be back until the end of May 2008, meanwhile I am left holding the fort, taking care of the day to day military wife stuff and he still expects me to be here and give him support while he is in Iraq...go figure.

My head tells me to just move on, get my own life and accept that I am no longer needed, my heart tells me to wait, he may come back from Iraq and realize he made a huge mistake?? I have read others posts and feel the same on some issues, I believe with him and the OW being deployed together they will have more in common and more to talk about, this will only bring them closer together and push us further apart.

Our Squadron is aware of what is going on and I have heard rumor that they are going to push a "no contact order" on them, however if 2 people want to be together then they will find a way to do so, I do not want him to get into trouble and possibly lose rank as I am looking out for my future, after this long I know what I am entitled too if he divorces me and I'll take the 50% and walk away.

Any advice???


BS - 43
XH - 35
OMW - 25
MARRIED 15 Yrs together 16 Yrs
KIDS - DD 25, DD 23, DS 22, All from my previous marriage and adopted by my XH
DD - 08/22/07
D - He filed Dec 07, D final 03/31/08 - Heartbroken all over again :(

Posts: 28 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: UK
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, October 26th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey All! I see a bunch of new faces (names lol). I hope everyone is doing as well as they can. I saw a few of you guys have Hs deployed and you are trying to R. My FWH and I are doing the same right now.

I would say we have been is partial R since April/May and total R since July. The military is a funny thing, for something with so many rules, it sure contains its fair share of cheaters. This is something thats always baffled me until this July. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks (well this and that he had emailed FOW and been internet phishing). Its the freedom and revolting. Freedom to do what one wishes because lets face it they are apart more than they see us and revolting from rules and boundries the military gives them. Add in a deployment, our youth, a baby and new lifestyle and it really is a forumla for destruction. But now lets get realistic. We all love the person we married. We knew (majority) of our Hs career. We probably had no idea of the lifestyle and the suprises God would give you (For me, it was my son... God was stronger than my birthcontrol lol). And we NEVER thought our H was capable of doing this. And for me, thats what hurt the most.

When I needed him the most (see profile for entire story), and he needed me, I manned my ship by myself and he decided to take on a first mate. That twisted my stomach in knots. I did my 180 (moved ALL of my stuff from WA back to NY) and he stayed out there by himself with a deployment lingering and our marriage in shambles. Those few months up until the day he left caused me so much stress that I stuffed my face and put on about 60lbs. When he left.. literally the day he left, his FOW and her "friend" decided to out all the details. Oh, did I tell you she was "pregnant" too (She ended up losing the baby).

From then until July things were rough. I mean, heck, I would have loved for him to be here so I can hold out sex and make his life miserable. I wanted him to see and live with me during triggers or plain old bad days or the baby's Dr.s appts. and surgeries. But on the other hand, he got his reality check. His Joes were getting Dear John's, he was seeing disturbing things, he was alone and scared and most of all, he had nothing else to do but think. And he has. And he has read. And he has wrote. And he has talked (even to his Joes). He has done things I would have never expected.

Utilize your deployment. Send him books. I sent him Dr.'s Phils Relationship Rescue, and a few others (I cant remember). Write him a letter. Just recently I got help from some awesome SIers and wrote him a 15 page letter letting him know how I felt about everything-- past, present and future. Take this time to get your life together. See an IC, go back to school if you have too (I did-- best thing ever), live life. When my H realized I no longer NEEDED him, it clicked in his head.. I have to make her WANT me. When I graduate next year I can be making almost 3X his salary. If it wasnt for the finances, what would I NEED him for?? Most importantly (more for military reasons, not marriage), keep yourself busy. Pick up a hobbie, if you have kids join a Mommy and Me, go shopping (My Fav :)) Make friends! I have a great friend Soldiersgirl. She has helped me thru a lot and is full or wisdom!! Dont be afraid to find someone who can understand you (military or marriage wise). Its very hard to go thru a deployment alone without a marital conflict. You cant let youself sit around and wallow not only in marriage pity but deployment pity. If you do, next thing you know your in the kitchen standing at the freezer with a half gallon of banana split ice cream and a spoon shoveling it down your face like theres no tomorrow and the freezer door is still open-- all because you saw something on the news, he didnt call, someone called you, etc. Dont lose sight of ignorance (mostly civilian but some military). People will say things to you that are imagineable, that ask stupid questions and just plain dont think. Remember where it is coming from. And for anyone new to the Military life, it really makes no sense and its full of double standards (cheating is ILLEGAL in the military but yet it always is turned a blind eye). Good Luck and Hugs!!


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
NCaliGrlatHrt
New Member
Member # 16775
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, October 26th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the warm welcome and all your posts!

I am having a serious issue though. Okay, my husband is up for promotion and he just asked me yesterday not to mention the A in anyway that could be traced because apparently all their activity on the internet is being monitored!!! well, that is fine but where does that leave me??? i can't even express my feelings because he doesnt want to get an article or put his career in jeopardy. well, i understand, however, he did it!!!!!! hello???????? i understand that our whole family will suffer if he gets an article and loses rank, etc. also with all the threats that the W ia making he doesn't want to put anything more out there than he has to. so now i am stuck talking in code to him!?!?!?! grrrrrrrrrrr - how is this going to help me with recovery???????

anyone else???????


Posts: 9 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: North Carolina
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, October 26th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NCG- FWH and I talk about his A all the time and he is getting ready to go to the boards soon. Also, we have a MPO (Military Protection Order) against the FOW because she was harassing me. Personally.. there is no reason you should walk on eggshells and prevent yourself from healing/living because of all of this. What is he saying, his career is more important than your health? kwim?? And they wont do anything to him while hes over there so he is just trying to submissively threaten you.. Hugss!


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
NCaliGrlatHrt
New Member
Member # 16775
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, October 26th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks LMiggs, I don't think he knows anything - he is going to Special Ops when he gets back and I think he doesn't want to mess it up. Well, frankly, he should have thought of that before!

He did agree that my health and wellbeing was more important than his career and if he had to make a choice "of course" he will choose our marriage over the army, etc. I did do some research on the net though and I found hushmail which is super encrypted free email accounts so I think we are going to start using hushmail from now on just in case.


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