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User Topic: Military Deployment/Affairs
Piper317
♀ Member
Member # 15330
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, October 5th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, so I did not mean to rile things up on this thread by saying what I said about those defending our country. But I look at it this way: I could never do it. And I commend those who can.

I was really more aiming at recognizing that WE (militaryBS) downright deserve recognition for all we have done by being supportive (even though it bit us all on the rear). We have all lost so much under the guise of something that should be so noble. Does that make sense?

And I have to admit that I still feel proud of what many men and women do to ensure that I can go about my daily day freely. Maybe I am the minority, but that is just how I feel.

It is unfortunate that so many find themselves here in this beyond crappy situation, but for me, I have to believe that there are those who don't use deployments/TDYs as a means of being unfaithful.

I am just the type who needs to see the glass half full sometimes. Especially lately.
I hope I did not offend anyone too much. Honestly, that was never my intention.


Married 8 years, together 11
BS(me)-34 FWH-37 d-day 7/3/07
♥R!R!R!♥
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
Let your clarity define you.
"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." ~The Wizard

Posts: 1476 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: New York
FindingHope
♀ Member
Member # 15761
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, October 5th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Piper,

Just speaking for myself here - I don't think you riled things up or caused any offense. I'm not always the most perceptive person - especially in online forums, but I'm not riled up or offended by anything you said.

I would be curious to see statistics for military marriages and infidelity. I wonder how rampant it is in that segment of the population. Or maybe it happens much less than what I'm thinking.

I remember a time where I felt such pride for my H. When he got called to go, he went. He served his country, taking part in an effort so we can do the things that we do on a daily basis. I don't know if that feeling will ever come back. And that's because of the price that I paid with H's most recent deployment.

Just tonight, we took a walk. We passed by a section of trees that had yellow ribbons tied around them. H kept on talking about the ribbons - asking our son if he knew what they were for. And there I am - I could feel an awful expression on my face, but I couldn't turn that expression into words.

I know that it's ridiculous to assume that every one in the military cheats on their spouses. I'm sure there are people who manage to remain faithful and serve their country at the same time. It's just that I used to think that my H was one of them.

Now I'm hoping that I didn't cause any offense...


Posts: 456 | Registered: Aug 2007
Kuwaited
♂ Member
Member # 5491
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, October 5th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Piper and FindingHope:

Nothing was riled up. Speaking only for myself....it just hit a nerve, that's all.

My ex used the expression "doing the honorable thing" to further her deception. That totally took away any and all respect I had for her relative to her "serving her country". She was serving herself...and using the fact that she was in the military fighting a war as a cover.

Unfortunately..I can't help but occasionally transfer those very personal and specific events on others. I'd rather I didn't do that..but I admit sometimes I'm not quite strong enough to avoid it.

KInd of like when you see a guy at the park..or at McDonald's with his kids. Don't you sometimes just "assume" he's divorced and he's on his weekend with the kids? Maybe he is..maybe he's not.

Very frequently in my job I deal with the military (domestic and foreign). So...I am working on my issues in this regard. And...a good bit of the guys I work with are former military (or reservists). I have the utmost respect for them.

I do believe the vast vast vast majority of our service men and women are honorable. We have an all volunteer military. These folks chose to do what they do. I respect them for that.

As I said....just hit nerve.


"For every trip to the vet, there's a car ride.", Satchel Pooch.

"At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost." -- Tad...from Craig's List


Posts: 8481 | Registered: Oct 2004 | From: North Atlanta Burbs
Piper317
♀ Member
Member # 15330
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, October 5th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do believe the vast vast vast majority of our service men and women are honorable. We have an all volunteer military. These folks chose to do what they do. I respect them for that.

Thank you, Kuwaited....for eloquently putting what I was trying to say into a cohesive statement.


Married 8 years, together 11
BS(me)-34 FWH-37 d-day 7/3/07
♥R!R!R!♥
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
Let your clarity define you.
"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." ~The Wizard

Posts: 1476 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: New York
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, October 6th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No riling up here and I agree with Kuwaited too.. Its just like I always feel like "Sure, we look perfect on the outside but if you only KNEW what was going on on the inside."It is very noble and honorable to serve our country BUT not everything FWH has done reflects his "noble and honorable" traits, kwim?


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
Piper317
♀ Member
Member # 15330
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, October 6th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"It is very noble and honorable to serve our country BUT not everything FWH has done reflects his "noble and honorable" traits, kwim?

Absolutely! There should be no hiding behind the nobility of their job/career when the truest colors were shown to the spouses and families when they decided to cheat. This is all so unacceptable.


Married 8 years, together 11
BS(me)-34 FWH-37 d-day 7/3/07
♥R!R!R!♥
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
Let your clarity define you.
"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." ~The Wizard

Posts: 1476 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: New York
Soldiersgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8188
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, October 7th (Sunday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We had a "dumbass" moment today. FWH has been telling me how much he misses us, loves us, etc, incessantly since he left for this deployment. This is very unlike the last deployment so I thought something might be wrong and asked FWH about it. He hadn't noticed it but when I mentioned it he said he realized that unlike the last deployment, the kids and I are what he thinks about morning noon and night.

I get a cookie because I resisted the urge to jab at him. The evil SG in me wanted to retort about how it must have been hard to think about your wife when you were screwing around. But I didn't.

I'm grateful that his thoughts are with us. It's a sign to me that we are stronger now. Both of us. And I can't tell you how happy that made me.


You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman
No man was ever shot by his wife while doing the dishes. ~ Anon
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. ~ Herbert Samuel

Posts: 1375 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Louisiana
letting_go
Member
Member # 13774
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, October 7th (Sunday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I die before you wake...


Back home now I know you're probably sleepin'
Over here it's the middle of the day
I finally found the time to write a letter
Sittin' here a half a world away


I heard about all them folks protestin'
As if I really want this war
But that don't stop me from believin'
There's just some things worth fightin' for

CHORUS
And if I die before you wake,
I pray the world will take
A good look at what God's given us
That we could only understand,
everything is in his hands
All we need is a little faith and trust
I want you to know it ain't too high a price to pay
If I die before you wake

Tell everybody that I miss them
And I can't wait to get back home
But until then I'll serve my country
And be proud to wear this uniform

CHORUS
No it ain't too high a price to pay
If I die before you wake

Many who post in this forum never receive a thank you for ALL that you do and sacrifice. I salute you.

Thank you for all you do.

She is used with the understanding that there are men who support their military wives.

She stands in line at the post office waiting to send a package to her husband, serving in Kuwait , Iraq , Afghanistan , etc. Envelopes, pens, paper, stamps, sunscreen, eye-drops, gum, batteries, powdered Gatorade, baby wipes and Twizzlers.

He said he needed the sunscreen and baby wipes. She threw in the Twizzlers.

There's a common bond at the post office in this military town. People aren't just sending letters and packages; they are sending smiles, hope, love and just a touch of home. People look around at the others, sharing their concern, fear and pride. They take comfort knowing they are not alone.

Passing through the gate leaving the Base, she enters another world. A world filled with pawnshops, surplus stores, barbershops, fast food galore and, of course, "Loans, Loans, Loans."

This is a life that includes grocery shopping at a place called the Commissary. A life that has her venturing to the Post Exchange, referred to as the PX, instead of heading to Wal-Mart. This is where you come to learn, appreciate and respect the ceremonious traditions of Reveille and Retreat, and of course, the National Anthem from a completely different perspective.

At 6 a.m., or as the soldiers call it, 0600 hours, Reveille can be heard across post. The bugle call officially begins the military workday. At 1700 hours Retreat sounds signaling the day's end. Soldiers render salutes, chatter fades and all eyes are drawn to the nearest flag. At 2300 hours, the bugle sounds Taps, denoting not only the "final hour" of the day, but also honoring those we have lost.

When the national anthem plays in a military town, a special aura fills the air. Men, women, and even children stop to pay their respects. Civilians place their hands over their hearts. Soldiers salute. In this world, the anthem isn't just a prequel to the echo of "Play Ball."

Since she married her Service member and experienced the Star Spangled Banner from this perspective, she's noticed how people in civilian towns react to the national anthem. She notices the people who continue to talk, the hats that stay on, the beer that doesn't get put down, and even the jeers at the person singing the anthem. The meaning seems to be lost to a majority of people. But if she looks closely, she can see who has been blessed enough to learn this lesson. Some are grandparents, some are parents, and some are young children.

At first glance, children growing up in this world of aircraft, artillery, tanks and uniforms are the same as any other kids from any other town. They do the things that kids do. They play sports, go to school, and play with their friends. The difference is that their group of friends may change once a year, or more, due to a change of duty station.

They don't have any say in this. They could be two years old and not remember a thing about it, or they may be 16 years old getting ready for prom and having to up-root and move again. They're known as "military brats," a harsh misnomer for those who learn a lifestyle of sacrifice at such a young age. Yet, it makes them strong.

The little boys become the men of the house and the little girls become the ladies. They adapt to these different situations. They live with the reality that one, or even both parents, may not be around to celebrate birthdays and holidays. They know there will be times when they will look into the stands during Little League games and see only an empty space in the bleachers.

At the same time, these kids have a sense of overwhelming pride. They brag about their daddies and their mommies being the best of the best. They know their Mom's been through deployments, changes of duty stations, and the ever- changing schedules military life brings. While Dad is away, she takes care of the house, the bills, the cars, the dogs, and the baby.

To cope with it all, she learns military families communicate via the Internet so he doesn't miss out on what's happening back home. But he does miss out. He won't be there for the baby's first steps, and he may have to hear his son or daughter's first words through a time delay across a static-filled telephone line.

She remembers what it was like before he left, when everything seemed "normal." Normal except for the pressed uniform, the nightly ritual of shining boots, the thunder-like sound of the Apache helicopters flying overhead, and the artillery shells heard off in the distance. OK, relatively normal * when they occasionally went to the park, spent holidays together and even enjoyed four- day weekends when he could get a pass. But, the real challenge began with the phone call.

She relives the moments before she kissed him goodbye. A phone ringing at 0400 hours is enough to make her heart end up in her throat. They've been expecting the call, but they weren't sure when it would come. She waits to hear the words, "Don't worry, it's just a practice run." But instead she hears, "Here we go."

So, off he goes to pack, though most of the packing is finished because as a soldier, he is "always ready to roll." She gets the baby, but leaves his pajamas on because it is just as well that he sleeps. She takes the dogs out, she gets dressed, all the while trying to catch glimpses of her husband. She wants to cherish his presence because she doesn't know when she'll see him again.

She knows that in other homes nearby, other families are enacting exactly the same scene.

Within 15 minutes, the family is in the car heading to the "rally point." As they pull up, they see soldiers everywhere, hugging their loved ones. While people love to see tearful, joyous homecomings, fearful, anxious, farewells are another story.

Too soon, with his gear over his shoulder, he walks away. She is left behind, straining to keep an eye on her soldier. As the camouflage starts to blend, only his walk distinguishes him from the others.

She takes one last look and takes a deep breath. She reminds herself she must stay strong. No tears. Or, as few tears as possible. Just words of encouragement to the children, to her friends and to herself. Then she turns, walks back to the car, and makes her way home to a house that is now eerily quiet.

She mentally prepares for the days, weeks, even months ahead. She needs to focus on taking care of her love while he is overseas. Her main priorities will be the care packages, phone calls, e-mails, and letters sprayed with perfume. And, she can't forget to turn the stamp upside down to say, "I love you."

Taking care of her family, her friends, even strangers * this is her mission as a military wife to do these things without a second thought. At the ripe old age of 22, (younger or mature) she knows the younger wives will turn to her for advice. "How do you balance a checkbook? How do you change a tire? When are they coming home?"

Only when she knows everyone else is OK, the bills are paid, the cars maintained, the lawn cut, the kids asleep, the pets calmed down, and the lights are off, does she take time for her self.

Alone at night, she runs the next day's events over in her mind to make sure it will all get finished. She reviews her checklist of things to do, things to buy for his care package. Once again, she checks the calendar to count down the days. Before turning in, she checks to make sure the ringer is on for the late night phone call that might come in from overseas.

Before she falls asleep, a few tears hit the pillow. But even as the tears escape, strength enters her mind, body, spirit and soul. She remembers why she is here. She remembers the pride and the love that brought her here in the first place, and a sense of peace comes over her, replacing, if only for a second, the loneliness, the fear and the lingering heartache she feels while her soul mate is away.

This is what it means to love a soldier.

She wouldn't have it any other way.

If only our WSs and their APs appreciated and respected what we do.


[This message edited by letting_go at 10:11 PM, October 7th (Sunday)]


"To change and to improve are two different things."
Anonymous. German proverb.

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." Frederick Douglass (1818-1895)


Posts: 3704 | Registered: Feb 2007
2trustful
♀ Member
Member # 16542
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, October 10th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow I am thrilled to see this thread. I just posted on just found out. But here is same back history.

DH had an A while in Iraq. Lied when I kept asking what was wrong blah blah blah... in Sept 05 he asked for a divorce then came home on R & R and changed his mind. We R for along time, thank god we PCS'd becuase when I found out I let everyone know. Even the COL. What got me is that EVERYONE knows that this is happening but those in charge turn a naked eye on it. WTH? I know they have mportant missions, but come on don't you think it's more distracting for these soldiers to sneak about etc.. when they should be thinking about their brothers safety?

I'm sure I am rambling but it pisses me off.

Well just about two weeks ago I found out my DH has a "friendship" with a former cadet,(she still attends the school) he is an ROTC instructor now. I trusted that up until this moment they were just friends but told him all things concidered he needs to end the friendship nad that if he couldn't or wouln't do that then we are over.

He said he stopped it but when the cell phone bill came I found out otherwise. So I told him he had to move out that night. That was Monday.

I know I'm crazy but I miss him so much! We are truely good friends and enjoy each others company.

I will not make excuses but I know that he gets a thrill when these young girls flirt with him. He hates getting older! He is 35 now and this girls is probably 21. When he was 32 the OG (can't call her a woman) was 19.

I am calling his bluff and right now he hates it. But as I told him until I come first we can't even concider R.

I am glad and sad that there are so many of us.


Me~Bs 40 Him~stbxh 35 OW ~ 20
DS 10 yrs old
D Day #1 9/18/05 D Day #2 10/8/07
he moved out 10/14/07 moved stuff out 10/20/07

Posts: 58 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: NC
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, October 10th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome 2T! Im glad you were able to find us and hope we can help! My FWH did some STUPID things!

What got me is that EVERYONE knows that this is happening but those in charge turn a naked eye on it. WTH?

The military doesnt care. They cover each other. My FWH was seeing his OW (BTW- For me thats Other Whore) for months while I was in another state taking care of my ill son. She subsequently got pregnant (And "lost it" -- I think she aborted after trying to extort money from us and didnt get it). Anyways, there was lots of drama. I went looking for her, there was many confrontations, etc. His COC got involved. She got banned from being on post (not that she had a reason on there anyway, she was a barricks whore), we got a MPO, etc. . His COC mandated we went to the Chaplin. All the while, he was still in contact. Mind you by now EVERYONE knew because I went nuts in his building. Well I left about a week before FWH left for Iraq. He of course still continued to see her. Heres the point of my story: SHE SAW HIM OFF TO HIS BUS! TOOK PICTURES, I HAVE VIDEO FROM A FRIEND AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so mad. I called up his CO in RD. He said they thought it was me!! Can you freakin believe that! Thats such BS! They knew what I looked like! Not everyone "overlooks" this but lots do. As much as it is "illegal", no one cares. It took my FWH to be in Iraq and me to tell him that I was going to live my life and do for me (for the first time in 6 years) and when he came back if he fits in MY life, he does and if he doesnt he doesnt. I then decided to go back to college and make promising steps for myself and THEN he got the big picture.. I didnt NEED him. My life goes on. He has to EARN me and appreciate me. I think thats something common in military families tho. The spouse (us) are no longer appreciate and our value goes extinct. They are taught to worry only about themselves and cant differentiate whats acceptable for selfishness. Well good luck and many hugs!! PM me if you have any questions!


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
Betrayedbookworm
♀ Member
Member # 16289
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, October 10th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I
know they have important missions, but come on don't you think it's more distracting for these soldiers to sneak about etc.. when they should be thinking about their brothers safety?

Oh, 2trustful, I am sorry you have to be here but it is of course a comfort to hear someone who shares the same feelings!

I absolutely agree...finding time to sneak away to fool around etc has to detract from a soldier's focus on the mission...and why the F does everyone ignore it?

All that talk about honor and integrity and then no one has the balls to take action when a soldier is cheating on his wife?

(In case you were wondering why I'm so fired up, my husband is deployed and boinking a married soldier he works with).

"I know I'm crazy but I miss him so much! We are truely good friends and enjoy each others company"

Not crazy at all, that makes absolute sense to me.
Again, I'm sorry that you have needed to land at SI but glad that we can commiserate together and give each other support!
((((2trustful))))

[This message edited by Betrayedbookworm at 7:31 PM, October 10th (Wednesday)]


Me - BS
Him - WS

Posts: 200 | Registered: Sep 2007
Soldiersgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8188
Default  Posted: 12:42 AM, October 11th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As sad as it may seem, if the soldier is otherwise a good joe, yes they're going to overlook marital discretions. Considering many in the chain of command indulge themselves it would be the pot calling the kettle black. Now of course when it becomes a matter of security ((and I've seen that happen only once)), or of the joe is just fucked up in general, then they will do something about it.


After I left my XH for his MASSIVE infidelities, my CSM came to see me. He and the Xo together seemed to think that they were my surrogate parents and were responsible for me. Since they didnt' think that I could find a decent guy on my own, my CSM tok it upon himself to set me up on a blind date with another CSM's son. When I calmly pointed out that I was still legally married as my divorce was not final yet, he told me that as long as nobody complained, nobody cared. That's the point of this story. If nobody complains, nobody cares.

Andsadly, adultary isn't actually listed in the UCMJ as a punishable offense. When it is punished by the military, they classify it as "General Misconduct" and so they can get away with NOT prosecuting it as it is not specifically listed. And it is hard to prove guys. If they're gonna drag their heels, you have to show evidence that there was sexual misconduct by means of video, pregnancy, photographs or confession. Just because they confessed to you does not mean that they will confess to their CO. And honestly the only time I advocate going to the CO and dragging his career through the mud is when it endangers his security. For example, there is a lovely woman on these boards whose husbands AP was his Iraqi interpreter. That's a big security issue.

Basically, you still have your family to think about. And if you have any intention of reconciling and moving on, letting everyone in his CoC know is generally not a good idea. Of course in a case like yours Lisa it's kind of mandatory considering she was preggo. But yeah, it's not so much covering each others asses as having bigger fish to fry. It's a sad truth, but a truth nonetheless.

Sometimes I wish I didn't know so freaking much about the military though.


You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman
No man was ever shot by his wife while doing the dishes. ~ Anon
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. ~ Herbert Samuel

Posts: 1375 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Louisiana
DownNotOut
♀ Member
Member # 10076
Default  Posted: 7:06 AM, October 11th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

While do I feel like I'm coming home here?

While FWH was deployed to another country for a year, I found out about all his A's and AP's. Some military, some civilian, some married, some not, some while home, some while deployed. Serioulsy, there was no rhyme or reason.

And I found out about them all in a three month span of time.

He was home on leave when I found out the truth. Oh, I knew, in my heart, in that secret place you lock away when you don't really want to deal with the pain, that he was cheating. So many red flags, so much gaslighting and then, A's of my own (here's me owning my shit).

After this explosion (I can only call it that) we decided to work on R. He went back to said caountry and it seemed like we would be working on us for quite awhile.

He comes home for leave last July. And I was brutal. Angry, bitter, hurting. You know the drill.

He left and began a whole new A with an officer's wife who has 3 children. I'm not sure why she and the kids got to be in that country and I couldn't go (probably length of tour) but there it was.

In the space of a few months they had fallen "in love" with each other.

He came home, and we moved cross country. I was none the wiser until I found an e-mail. Then it all came out. In January of this year he told her it was over.

I thought that would be the end of it.

I thought wrong.

Somewhere in April or May, one of them contacted the other and began the A again, this time from a distance of about 12 hours by car.

She flew up here in July and they had sex in a hotel(while her kids were in the other room) on the 16th.

Not knowing this, but having seen yet another e-mail after months of NC, I told him I wanted a divorce. He agreed, at first.

Then he bagan thinking and eventually came to me and asked for one last chance. I still didn't know about the sex.

I said yes to the one last chance (I do love him and I want our M to work) provided he follow the ground rules. He agreed and on July 20th, with me sitting next to him, he told her it was over and to never contact him again.

The very next day she sent him broken CDs, notes and a shirt. The front of the box said "You owe me. Open this!" He never did. I did.

I found out about the sex a few weeks later and I was crushed.

We've been in lots of MC and IC since. The past few months have been very good, but hard.

And he lust left for Iraq about a week ago.

And I can only think of two things.

Please let him be safe.
PLease don't let there be any more A's. I don't think I can take it if there is.


"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."
~ nimbyone

"Beauty is between one's ears anyway, isn't it?"
~ bkewidow


Posts: 1606 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Unemployed and Hating It
2trustful
♀ Member
Member # 16542
Default  Posted: 7:24 AM, October 11th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree he does have to earn back my love and trust not the other way around. I have started the 180 and we will see how it goes!

I honestly don't want to ruin his career, no matter how hurt I am I've worked just as hard as he has for all theat he has. (ok plus we've been married for over 10 yrs and since he hurt me I don't mind hurting him back where it counts) and yes he is well aware of this!
and says I do deserve it! go figure...

I would like to go to MC/IC but from what I am being told is that Tricare doesn't cover MC! We are remote
so I don't know how to fight that issue, I was hoping to see if we could get it covered under PTS because I believe he does suffer from it. he is infantry and has seen alot and we have lost friends as well.

I am so glad to be able to actually talk to other's about this!


Me~Bs 40 Him~stbxh 35 OW ~ 20
DS 10 yrs old
D Day #1 9/18/05 D Day #2 10/8/07
he moved out 10/14/07 moved stuff out 10/20/07

Posts: 58 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: NC
DownNotOut
♀ Member
Member # 10076
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, October 11th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would like to go to MC/IC but from what I am being told is that Tricare doesn't cover MC! We are remote

2trustful: We have seen MC and I was (and still am) seeing my IC. Both have been covered by Tricare for us so far. We've been paying about $10 a session in a co-pay, but we've been able to do it.

I think it might depend upon whether or not you have Prime or Standard (I have Standard).

We see civilian therapists. FWH's IC was a counselor on base though because the military would not cover IC for him.

And, of course, there is the sticky wicket of if he went to see the base shrink and told him about the A's he could be written up and discharged.

I'd double-check, perhaps speak to a Tricare supervisor (not just a call center person).

Good luck and let us know how it goes.


"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."
~ nimbyone

"Beauty is between one's ears anyway, isn't it?"
~ bkewidow


Posts: 1606 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Unemployed and Hating It
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, October 11th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would like to go to MC/IC but from what I am being told is that Tricare doesn't cover MC!

Go to Armyonesource.com . They will give you 6 free sessions and then Tricare will pick up the rest!! Hugs!


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
2trustful
♀ Member
Member # 16542
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, October 11th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go to Armyonesource.com . They will give you 6 free sessions and then Tricare will pick up the rest!! Hugs!

I'd double-check, perhaps speak to a Tricare supervisor

Thanks! I will do that now! You guys are awesome!


Me~Bs 40 Him~stbxh 35 OW ~ 20
DS 10 yrs old
D Day #1 9/18/05 D Day #2 10/8/07
he moved out 10/14/07 moved stuff out 10/20/07

Posts: 58 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: NC
Soldiersgirl
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Member # 8188
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, October 11th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tricare doesn't cover it. But army onesource does. And once your six sessions with a therapist are over, generally they will either begin six sessions with your H as the beneficiary ((even though it is MC)) or they will diagnose you with something like anxiety or whatever so they can keep bringing you in and charging tricare. Tricare doesn't know what happens in the session. They only care about the DSM IV code.

((Can you tell my last job was in a Marital Counseling facility??))


You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman
No man was ever shot by his wife while doing the dishes. ~ Anon
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. ~ Herbert Samuel

Posts: 1375 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Louisiana
DownNotOut
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Member # 10076
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, October 11th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is this a military branch thing? Because Tricare DOES cover it for me (Navy wife). We have a Tricare book of providers, with a heading for "Marriage & Family Therapists". As long as I am listed as the person receiving the services, we're covered.

Is the Army Tricare different than the Navy Tricare? I thought they were one and the same?

However, If both of you are active duty, then I can see how Tricare wouldn't cover it. I believe you would have to go on base, post, etc. for mental health services.


"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."
~ nimbyone

"Beauty is between one's ears anyway, isn't it?"
~ bkewidow


Posts: 1606 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Unemployed and Hating It
2trustful
♀ Member
Member # 16542
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, October 11th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is this a military branch thing? Because Tricare DOES cover it for me (Navy wife). We have a Tricare book of providers, with a heading for "Marriage & Family Therapists". As long as I am listed as the person receiving the services, we're covered.

Husband is active duty, we are covered under Tricare Prime Remote, we are more then 50 miles from a military base.

I went to Armyonesourse and couln't find anything except articles etc...

During my search I again asked WS if he would go he paused long then said yes.. I said why the long pause...he said we will talk tonight. Not looking forward to this!


Me~Bs 40 Him~stbxh 35 OW ~ 20
DS 10 yrs old
D Day #1 9/18/05 D Day #2 10/8/07
he moved out 10/14/07 moved stuff out 10/20/07

Posts: 58 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: NC
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