Your WH is still in the fog, as SI would call it. Give it (and him) some time. I hope he doesn't get demoted but maybe a local move will be good for him, no? Could his boss talk to the hospital commander and suggest leniency for the kids sake?
I am very thankful I started an antidepressant before I felt depressed.
Last year (2013) while in Afghanistan, my H found some time to spend with another young female reserve airman. I caught him looking her up on Facebook and I knew that meant trouble. I asked, he denied.
I was pregnant during this deployment. I started to have complications from stressing out too much. In the end, all was fine. My WH returned home the day before I gave birth. He let me know two weeks later about his EA with this airman. He TT down to what I know now, which is they "held hands". I don't believe that's all that happened. We aren't in the 4th grade.
During that deployment, she invited him to drink alcohol, which is obviously not allowed in Afghanistan. He said he refused. She also turned in 3 other men for sexual harassment: An officer, who is not allowed to reenlist, A SSgt, who was sent home, and a civilian who had to be moved to another section. Never did the command think about HER being the problem.
So, here I sit with him gone again and my nerves shot to hell. He's already lied to me since he left a few days ago. He is training right now before the deployment starts in 6 days. So, he's not home and training with the Army. However, there are females there (can't avoid it). He lies about them being there and was hanging out with one the other night when I tried to call and he ignored my call.
At this point, I feel like I am only staying married to keep my kids from having to live in poverty. I am finishing school so I can work, but I gave up my career to follow my WH and have kids. We agreed I would stay home since he is gone all of the time and now I am stuck. I HATE this!
When people say there is no time to cheat when they are deployed, they are LYING! It doesn't take much time and it's happened over and over again. Everyone thinks my WH is the most amazing man ever. They would be surprised to know he is a liar and a cheater! ugh.
DD 1: 9/30/2010 --PA
DD 2: 10/31/2013 --EA (Unconfirmed PA. He said the "Held hands" I think it was more.)
[This message edited by muddled at 6:23 AM, April 21st (Monday)]
I have just been having a really hard time dealing with my feelings concerning a partner of DH's.
I know that there is a level of intimacy that comes with basically trusting someone day in and day out with your life....as well as being burdened with also knowing you would be protecting someone with your life if needed.
As far as I can tell, they have not crossed any hard lines. I am sure that they talk about there days, what they like don't like. The texts that I have read are friendly and if they were between two men i wouldn't bat an eye.
He does not talk about our issues with her, and as far as I can tell, there is no blatant sexual innuendo's, again, if it was between men I wouldn't bat an eye.
The thing that gets me is the sheer amount of texting they do...on work time and off work time. The other thing that gets me is that they actually talk to each other via texts....all i usually ever get are yeahs, fines, oks, and stuff like that.
My gut says that they are closer then they should be, but I honestly don't think that they are in any kind of physical affair. I can't tell if this is normal with partners.
[This message edited by HateLove at 7:57 AM, May 24th (Saturday)]