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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: The N.P.D. Thread Part IV
NoControl
♀ Member
Member # 14961
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

trying again...


"I Became Insane With Long Intervals of Horrible Sanity" -E.A. Poe

Posts: 483 | Registered: Jun 2007
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Funny  Posted: 11:44 AM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NoControl: What a cutie pie our little Luna is!

longlost: It sounds like you had a really beautiful weekend! I am so glad that you were able to put some more pieces of the puzzle together.

[This message edited by veritas at 11:51 AM, December 3rd (Monday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
NoControl
♀ Member
Member # 14961
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, chica!
Sorry your weekend was so...eventful You have the patience of a saint (((Veritas)))

Longlost- how courageous to take that trip. I am so glad you found healing there. You are wonderful and you deserve the peace. So proud of your taking that big step!


"I Became Insane With Long Intervals of Horrible Sanity" -E.A. Poe

Posts: 483 | Registered: Jun 2007
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((NoControl)))) ((((Babie Luna))))
Beautiful Babie !!!!

((((veritas))))
Trolls, NPD Freaks, suck.

((((LongLost))))
Wow !!! That sounds like a very healing and a discovering/rediscovering trip. Awesome, that you got so much from it !!!

((((All the Tribe))))

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Luna! I can't stand it! Gotta reach through that monitor and touch those chubby lil' cheeks!

Auntie Longlost


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
Threnody
♀ Member
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Must... kiss... baby... chin!

Longlost, I'm astounded. I know how much courage that trip took. I don't have that courage yet. I may never have it. I don't want to talk to anyone from that period of my life, ever again. I kept contact with the people who truly matter, but there are some question marks over the heads of a few folks still that perhaps, perhaps, they were more on my side and aware than I thought. However, I'm too weak to willingly open myself up that way. I simply cannot do it.

Veritas, I laughed out loud when you wrote about Paranoid Pete and the transmitter. That's just too damned funny. I suggest his Christmas gift consist of a tinfoil hat and a copy of "Catcher In The Rye."

Dreamlife, hang in there. The whole financial disclosure situation is confusing and a little frightening, since you don't know what he has up his sleeve. It's hard, but trust your lawyer. Give your lawyer the information you have and tell him your concerns and what your husband's past habits and level of deception are, then try to let go. I think that's all that can be done without driving yourself mad.

Bob, you're the dad. MIL is not in any way obligated to do what is ultimately in the best interest of your daughter. You are. You did the right thing. Huffy in-laws and a semi-upset daughter are shitloads easier to deal with than a tragedy. You keep doing what you're doing. It's all good.

I had a triggery night last night b/c of my FIL coming to dinner. I posted about it in F&G last night, and I still can't even write out what little things set me off. It all just sounds so wacky.

Just to update you all, I haven't heard from xNPD in a couple of weeks. I'm hoping his plate is so full he forgets about me. Oh, please. Please God. Please.

Mr. Threnody and I are going to a marriage counselor this Thursday for something that is totally unrelated, but I'm pretty sure this past relationship is going to come into play in a big way. The issue we're going in for is his high sexual drive and my low one. We're fixing the issues with that already. It's the emotional and psychological component that we want a counselor involved in. I think Mr. Threnody is treating me the same way his whole family treated his mother (don't stress her out, she's too fragile). I think I've been reacting to the pressure(s) in the same way I reacted to xNPD. I shut down a bit and retreat behind my psychological walls. I feel guilty about that.

If the topic of the ex comes up in counseling, I'll do my best to report to y'all what's said and what I find out about myself. I'm still a work in progress. I'm not a shining example of anything except a woman who is still healing from a relationship with an N. If I learn anything of value, though, I want to pass it on to those of you who will be down this road eventually.

Hugs for each and every one of you, even the lurkers (except Mr. DD123 ). I know there are folks who are lurking here for insight. Every person who has been through this has the right to answers about how their lives ended up this way. Even if the answer is, "We're not sure, but you're not alone."


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14039 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bob, you're the dad. MIL is not in any way obligated to do what is ultimately in the best interest of your daughter. You are. You did the right thing. Huffy in-laws and a semi-upset daughter are shitloads easier to deal with than a tragedy. You keep doing what you're doing. It's all good.

Thank you T.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 3:26 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bob - I wish my ex was half the dad you are. I admire how you set out the boundries and stuck to them.

Nc - you have a beautiful baby. Enjoy her.

LL - What an amazing journey. It sounds like you reached a resolution to many of you unanswered questions. Good for you!

Thren - I am sure the ghost of an ex-npd freak will follow most of us into our next relationships. But that is all he is: a ghost. However, all ghost must be put to rest and I am sure you counselling will do this.

As for me - I had my last counselling session today and she said I have made an amazing progression in a month. Obviously this month includes getting the decree absolute and getting the house in my name. The counsellor said I am ready to take on the world! I still have to use my cognitive behaviour strategies etc but it is as if I have built a wall around me that he cannot get into. He can't! It's invite only and he's not welcome! Seeing the counsellor has made an amazing difference to me; I felt like I was going around in circles before and now she has put me on the right direction.
Everything is falling into place now and I am beginning to feel (dare I say it) HAPPY!! Like LL said there is light at the end of the tunnel!!


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

O-M-G!!!!!!!!! What a gorgeous BABY!! I just want smoooooch her up! She is just adorable. So cute, cute, cute.

I'm so glad you posted the picture of precious little Luna. I've been trying to imagine what she looks like. She's even more beautiful than I thought. She's so lucky to have such a special mommy.

Wook at that wittle grin.

[This message edited by sadtoo at 4:27 PM, December 3rd (Monday)]


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
cjonesjag
♀ Member
Member # 10617
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NoControl...Can_I_Please_Have_Her???? She is *beautiful*, and she looks like a happy baby. She looks like she's smart (I know that sounds weird, but there is *something* about her)...You must love her like no other...

veritas..... Wives of Orange County
You seem almost amused by all of his antics ~ which is a *very* good way to look at it. I am very *amused* quite often by my situation too. Being detached enough to FIND the craziness and humor in the situation definitely helps to survive it. Especially when you're living "in it" like we are.

LongLost....isn't it empowering to "do" those things that you KNOW you need to, yet just couldn't find the courage until now? I think its wonderful, and the after-effects of you 'conquering' this hill will carry over into other aspects of your life.

Good job.

bob....You da man. You da dad. Don't ever feel like you owe ANYONE an explanation when it comes to a decision made regarding the safety of your own child. It was a wise decision, even though your daughter was sad to miss the event. Thats what parents are far (to wreck all the kids fun )

Threnody...good luck at MC, and good luck with FIL! Some of your stories about how you "handle" him have been HILARIOUS!

itsa....Awesome for you!! Seems like everything's falling into place for you. I'm happy for you!

sadtoo.. HI

Dream...HI

[This message edited by cjonesjag at 5:09 PM, December 3rd (Monday)]


Me (BS):50
Him(WTFH):51 Married: 05/26/2002
DD#1: 09/2005 (EA) DD#2: 09/2006
Mini-DDays: Many. Mostly online
DIVORCED 10/20/10
It's not what you've got, it's what you give.
It ain't the life you choose, it's the life you live

Posts: 6400 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Michigan
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Itsa))) I'm so happy for you!


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thren, a bunch of us ought to get together sometime and do a KICKASS tour. We could visit all the NPD assholes' stomping grounds and STOMP 'em!!!!


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, CJ. Yes, it really is empowering. And I'm amazed at how UNdepressing it was. I couldn't have done it without the tribe! I still have some hurdles to leap, but I'm a lot lighter on my feet these days!


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From:
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tribe
(With BoBeLiNa EdItS in bold. LOL.)
-----------------------------
Noun
tribe (plural tribes)
1. A socially, ethnically, and politically cohesive group of people, such as NPD Freaks survivors.
2. The collective noun for various animals.
-----------------------------

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cool! Both definitions apply to me. I yam certainly a various animal! Just ask Mr. Longlong!


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, December 3rd (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! Luna is such a Doll! Sending kisses n hugs!!!

NoC, I'm having a heck of a time w/ Photobucket so am going to set up another picturetrail.com & link it here once again. (Thnx, sad).

Tribe, I am SOOOO EXCITED that I can hardly type this!

After YEARS of keeping me "in the dark"...I have *IT* & its a huge start! Its over in the I Forum (just in case he's being another cowardly Mr. DD type! )

Thren, thnx. I am hanging in here...its hard to explain about the attys up here, but picture *not too bright*...everything is:
"You need a Forensic Tech...& they start at 10K...& NO guarantee they will FIND anything..."

veritas~ that is exactly what I found out when using my VAR, too! One learns to detect their voice subtleties indicative of lying, subterfuge, deception, & chaos.

Longlost, & itsa~ Bravo!!!

cj, I got ALL the cards mailed off but I still had a very difficult time *thinking*, ya know??...yup, writer's cramp! Maybe I just cannot pick up a pen & write cursively any more...Hark! Ole QWERTY has destroyed my penmanship!!

To be honest, I'm looking at *IT* right now & having Great Difficulty concentrating...so near, yet so far, KWIM?

Aha, but its a start...& to know that I am NOT Crazy, etc.

(((((hugs, Tribe, & baby L.))))


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Dreamlife))))
Kewl for you !!! Your post reminded me of these lyrics for some reason. Maybe because the N's always try to make us seem "crazy":
--------------------------------
Suicidal Tendencies
"Institutionalized"
--------------------------------
I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized
They stuck me in an institution, said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help, to protect me from the enemy, myself
--------------------------------
BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 2:11 AM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup! thnx, BoB.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Threnody: I do hope that Big Brother is transmitting subliminal messages to him, and I have a few things I'd like for them to whisper in his ear:
give your wife and kids a fair shake in the divorce! it's not an apology if you don't say you're sorry! if you're okay with taking medicine to make your wing-wang hard, you should be okay with blood pressure medicine! in fact, if you take the bp medicine, you might not need the other one!

Paranoid Pete is now convinced that someone is siphoning gas out of his car. Are they doing this at work, where there have been incidents of petty crime, including gas siphoning? Where he parks next to a warehouse for equipment and seeing someone walking around with a gas can is not out of the ordinary?

Alas no.

In the high crime neighborhoods with a lot of people walking the streets where he goes 3-4 nights a week? And nobody would call the police because they have too many things to hide?

Certainly not.

The thief is apparently in our neighborhood, which is on a 1-block street in the middle of a circle (so no through traffic) where everybody with a window can see them sneaking around with a tube and a gas can. S/He slips into the 1-foot gap in between our two cars, takes a few gallons and moves on. Despite the fact that he drives all over heck, he could not possibly be using so much gas.

I hope that everything goes well for you and Mr. Threnody in counseling. You both really deserve the best -- he sounds like a heck of a guy.

cjonesjag: I have to laugh; I have no other alternative.

Good morning and felicitations to all!

[This message edited by veritas at 11:20 AM, December 4th (Tuesday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
Threnody
♀ Member
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Veritas, go to a seed & feed store and buy up a few of those 5-count bags of moustraps. Have him put them all around your driveway and bait them with, oh hell -- what'd be funny? -- a pieces of dried alphabet pasta so they spell out "Siphoners of the Petrol of Paranoid Pete, I banish thee to the Pit of Doom!"

Once it's set up, lean out your window and throw pebbles at them until they're all set off. Get all of this on tape.

When the snapping starts, and he's jumping up and down excited about having caught the bad guys, calmly dial 911 then hang up. The cops will be there soon.

Just point at Paranoid Pete and whisper, "I couldn't talk on the phone. He's scaring me. Go look what he did outside!"

He'll be so excited about having nabbed the siphoners with moustraps and alphabet letters that spell something... they'll have no choice. They'll haul his ass in for a 72 hour watch.

Remember, record all of this. Then upload it so we can hear.

[This message edited by Threnody at 8:48 AM, December 4th (Tuesday)]


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14039 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
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