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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: The N.P.D. Thread Part IV
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
NoControl
♀ Member
Member # 14961
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Threnody- your evil genius is unparallelled! You SLAY me!

ALL- I'm glad you approve of my little moonbeam Without her, and without all of you, I'd be completely lost!

It's tough to put into words what you all have done for me, but I draw such strength and courage from EACH one of you- you're always in my thoughts and prayers. Watching each one of you battle and succeed the way you all do is just inspiring! And when one of us wins a battle, like (((Its))) with the house, I feel it's a victory for us all!
BoB- you did the right thing and should be proud for being the level-headed one.

Here's to us!


"I Became Insane With Long Intervals of Horrible Sanity" -E.A. Poe

Posts: 483 | Registered: Jun 2007
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG! Too veritas & Thren!

To illustrate how *backwards* my area is...there is no 72 hr. psychiatric "hold" for observation!

The cops just wait for ALL our Paranoid Pete's to "break the law" -- then they are hauled off to jail/prison.

Now, I ask the Tribe:

HOW *Neanderthal* is this?

NE NV is NOT the place to have a *mental breakdown*!

[This message edited by dreamlife at 10:44 AM, December 4th (Tuesday)]


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Tribe and Little Babie Luna (is Little Babie Luna are Mascott and our symbol to/for survive of sorts? LOL. And sorta seriously. For us and all our kids?) ))))

These lyrics and song have been playing in my head today. Maybe an anti "NPD Freaks" anthem? Alternate/edited lyrics in bold:
--------------------------------
Tom Petty
"I Won’t Back Down"
or alternate/edited version
"I Won't Break NC"
-----------------
Well I wont back down (break NC), no I wont back down (break NC)
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I wont back down (break NC)

Gonna stand my ground, wont be turned around
And Ill keep this world (these NPD Freaks) from draggin me down
Gonna stand my ground and I wont back down (break NC)

Hey baby, there aint no easy way out
Hey I will stand my ground
And I wont back down (break NC).

Well I know whats right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on (Dealing with NPD Freaks that keep) pushin me around
But Ill stand my ground and I wont back down (break NC)

Hey baby there aint no easy way out
Hey I will stand my ground
And I wont back down (break NC)
No, I wont back down (break NC)
--------------------------------

BoB

[This message edited by bobelina at 11:43 AM, December 4th (Tuesday)]


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, BoB, too *COOL*!!!!

Thnx 4 posting!

*applauding*


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BoB, it's so funny that you should post that. BizarroX and I both adopted that as our anthem back when I was halfway out the door.

There are soooo many songs that bring back memories or that time. This is a big one:

Slip sliding away, slip sliding away
You know the nearer your destination, the more you slip sliding away

Whoah and I know a man, he came from my hometown
He wore his passion for his woman like a thorny crown
He said dolores, I live in fear
My love for yous so overpowering, Im afraid that I will disappear

Chorus

I know a woman, (who) became a wife
These are the very words she uses to describe her life
She said a good day aint got no rain
She said a bad day is when I lie in the bed
And I think of things that might have been

Chorus

And I know a father who had a son
He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he'd done
He came a long way just to explain
He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping
Then he turned around and he headed home again

Chorus

Whoah God only knows, God makes his plan
The information's unavailable to the mortal man
Were workin our jobs, collect our pay
Believe were gliding down the highway, when in fact were slip sliding away

Siiiggghhhhhhhh........


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
NoControl
♀ Member
Member # 14961
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BoB- PLEASE don't make my child a mascot, and doom her to a life of nerdy hyperactivity! (no offense to anyone who may actually have been a mascot... )


"I Became Insane With Long Intervals of Horrible Sanity" -E.A. Poe

Posts: 483 | Registered: Jun 2007
Threnody
♀ Member
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my God, it's Veritas's WS!


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14039 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Threnody: Ya know, as other people dream of a White Christmas, with snow and glistening treetops, I dream of a White Christmas, too, the one where the men in white coats come and get him and put him in a white padded cell. His mother will probably bust him out, though...

*her other son tried to commit suicide twice. she didn't call 911 the second time even though he was vomiting up the sleeping pills he had swallowed because he didn't want to be committed. he wanted to kill himself, but didn't want to be institutionalized... or forced to take his meds*

[This message edited by veritas at 2:16 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Babie Luna))) No offense intended.

How about these guys For Mascotts:

BoB

[This message edited by bobelina at 2:30 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)]


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very *clever*!

Luv the cat! LOL However, those Penguins remind me of my N for some strange reason, BoB.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Dream))) I'm sorry... Please forgive me.

BoB

[This message edited by bobelina at 3:23 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)]


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
NoControl
♀ Member
Member # 14961
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, BoB...the penguins remind me of Trail of Tears too...as he was also an undercover butt pirate
Some days I just crack myself up.
I wasn't offended! (((BoB)))


"I Became Insane With Long Intervals of Horrible Sanity" -E.A. Poe

Posts: 483 | Registered: Jun 2007
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, December 4th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

there's a new meaning to "bp" now, NoC!

Oh, BoB, don't worry...I'll just have "Chloe" do something naughty to Hugh over in F&G!

veritas & Thren~ my N was so paranoid-Pete-ish that his sister told me that after his parents moved out to stay @ her home (inlaw apt built) & he had to live there alone for 2 weeks, he had the house completely *barricaded* with chairs up against the doors, windows all booby-trapped, etc...must've been a sight to see...too bad SHE didn't video that over to me!

[This message edited by dreamlife at 6:51 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)]


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
IDeserveBetter
Member
Member # 16602
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, December 5th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so messed up and confused right now. Sorry this is long, I'm having an existential crisis!

I was talking to a lady I hadn't seen in a while today, and the conversation set off this worried thought I'm having.

She told me she had gotten divorced and that things were great - she had a new boyfriend. Then she started telling me all the problems her new boyfriend had and how he really didn't treat her well!

So, I'm really wondering, are all people this messed up? Maybe trading the devil you know for a new one isn't worth it?

My views on life are so skewed now, I don't know what to think anymore!! My WH went to massage parlors, strip clubs, is addicted to pot (still is and still lies about it), and is bipolar.

His continued lying has just destroyed me. Six weeks ago, he begged me to go to an appointment with our MC. I had asked him to separate and stay out of the house for about 10 days at the time. I went, and the MC and the two of us came up with a list of things that he needed to do.

MC said let him come back and let him show you. So, he came back. He goes to AA meetings but has no sponsor. He has no IC and failed to make an appointment with one. He does take his meds now. So, he is half way trying. He still lies all the time about pot and going over to this house to get it and about how much money he is spending.

Am I being unrealistic to think that there is anyone better? Maybe the expectations I had as a younger person were wrong. Maybe everyone is messed up?

Did I just have a foolishly naive view of the world and marriage?

You all know he is NPD as well. Yesterday, he was mad at me and he said sh*t like
"I don't make you bitter, you make yourself bitter. You make yourself angry"

Right, it has nothing to do with fucktard's actions. No one else would be mad being lied to all the time and neglected.

Then he said "Yes, I went to strip clubs and massage parlors (and screwed a stripper) after ten years of no sex life". Total BS. First of all, the earlier years of our marriage our sex life was very busy and he still treated me like sh*t. Secondly, the couple of years before he started cheating, he was always GONE for 7 hours a day on the weekends and when he was home he was stoned out of his mind! I was the one who should have been looking elsewhere!

Oh, and he's not selfish because he gives me 90% of his paycheck. True, but what about love, caring, helping with children, not being nasty, not lying, not doing drugs, etc?????
Anyway, you get the idea, blameshifting crap, not owning things.

Later that night, he admitted he was totally wrong and was just angry. Then he went to an AA meeting and came home and said he finally asked for a sponsor. But I hardly even care. and I don't believe a word he says.

My perspective is completely gone.


Posts: 754 | Registered: Oct 2007
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, December 5th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((IDeserveBetter))))
There is better out there. We're living breathing proof.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, December 5th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Hey Tribe))))
Peace of mind alert:

In the "NPD Freaks" mind, regardless of their behaviors, their behaviors are "nothing" compared to yours. LOL.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
NoControl
♀ Member
Member # 14961
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, December 5th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((IDeserveBetter)))
Take a deep breath, sweetie. Your perspective *may* be completely gone, but that is because you have been with someone who delights in playing mind games with you. And even if your perspective IS gone, your core values and beliefs are still in tact. That is why you are struggling with believing him and staying with him. Because you want to believe, and you want to trust, but you *know* in your heart that something smells funny, and is contradictory to your core, and what you need to really be happy.
I read and re-read your post, and I can see your perspective shining through in nearly every sentence, it's just that you've probably learned *not* to trust your instincts (something NPD's are EXCELLENT at training us to do!) so that you can continue to stay and try...and try and try and try...
No, your perspective is very much in tact!
And IF you had a naive view of the world and marriage (as I did) then it was only because we view the world and measure others by our own yardstick- we have nothing else to go on. And clearly your yardstick is one where you believe others are honest because *you* are honest, and you believed people could be happy and stay in love because *you* were willing to do the work and you are a happy person willing to dedicate your life to this man, so you expected the same.
You didn't know that he wasn't wired like you are, and not worthy to be measured by your yardstick.
That's what has been so difficult for me, also; realizing that there *really* are these soulless shells of humanity walking among us...passing themselves off to us as all we ever wanted. But that is because *since* they are hollow, they are only our reflection looking back at us, and we're pretty f*ing great! That's how they fooled us. It is *NOT* your perception of the world that got you fooled. He did the fooling.
So you've been victimized, as all of us here have been. That's OK. You're gonna be stronger for it, and smarter too. But please don't forget to view the world as beautiful and full of promise, just because of what one person has done to cloud your previous views.
And I know, there are a lot of screwed up people out there, as that woman you spoke with yesterday seems to be...because of your experience it's easier for you to spot them, and avoid them. There are still so many amazing souls out there worthy of your friendship and time.
Don't let him take that from you! (((HUGS))) -NoC


"I Became Insane With Long Intervals of Horrible Sanity" -E.A. Poe

Posts: 483 | Registered: Jun 2007
NoControl
♀ Member
Member # 14961
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, December 5th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BoB- I couldn't agree more! What I've done is *so* much worse than anything Trail of Tears could have spat out from his black hole of a cursed soul...for instance, the last text I got from him was this:

All the lies you told in court and about me not having the truck. All you do is lie, etc...

This from the fucking sword swallower who had at least 5 PA's and 12 EA's going on...and lied about everything, including his family, background, training, military service, etc...
Yep, my lying about not know where the truck was in order to buy myself a week to avoid garnishment so I could keep feeding my child because he won't pay his ordered support is *SO* much worse than anything his sorry ass has ever done...

I think the best way to deal with him is to plant him. OH, a girl can dream...

On another note, my 1st XH called last night (I guess that's what I get for having his sister watch DD sometimes) to ask me if I wanted to go rabbit hunting this weekend (yes, I'm a bunny killer, sorry )
I said, "IF I do, you KNOW you're not getting any, right?" To which he responded, "Yeah, it will be just like when we were married..."


"I Became Insane With Long Intervals of Horrible Sanity" -E.A. Poe

Posts: 483 | Registered: Jun 2007
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, December 5th (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((IDeserveBetter)))
You have been so hurt by this asshole that you are having a hard time feeling anything else right now except pain. And you are (as we all do) blaming yourself for much much more of the "mess" than you could ever really be responsible for. You know this. But right now, you can't feel it. In one sense, it is true that everyone is "messed up." Life scars us and breaks us, and most of us recover and find a way to heal that DOES NOT HARM OTHER PEOPLE. I like to refer to my scars and broken places as "texture." :-) But there is no harm in me. And there are many, many others out there who, like me--like you, have been hurt and yet mean no harm to others. And there are even a few out there (like Mr. Longlost), who have sustained remarkably few injuries. People who mean no harm are in the majority, but those others, simply because they look like the rest of us, do SO MUCH HARM!!! But, as NoC, says, you are armed now. You earned your new knowledge with great pain and many tears. It has great value. USE it. Keep on looking for the light. It IS out there.

To be honest, it sounds to me like you've given it everything you've got, and you need to retreat and take care of yourself now. Is that possible? Nothing you decide now has to be permanent. You will still have the option of "letting him show you" later. But right now, you are so tired and injured! If you need a break from all this stress, don't let the MC talk you into trying again when you are too burned out to try. Tell him/her that you HAVE to rest for now. You are the only person who can decide whether it's time for you to go. You are the only one who can decide what YOU need. And you know what? YOU HAVE THAT RIGHT! Yes, you have to consider the consequences of your choices, but the consequences of taking care of yourself are NEVER harsher than the consequences of neglecting your own needs.

Listen to others who offer advice, but above all, listen to your own inner self. She is beaten down, but she isn't gone, and she IS talking to you.

I know it's not easy. But listen to her.


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
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