ALL- I'm glad you approve of my little moonbeam Without her, and without all of you, I'd be completely lost!
It's tough to put into words what you all have done for me, but I draw such strength and courage from EACH one of you- you're always in my thoughts and prayers. Watching each one of you battle and succeed the way you all do is just inspiring! And when one of us wins a battle, like (((Its))) with the house, I feel it's a victory for us all!
BoB- you did the right thing and should be proud for being the level-headed one.
Here's to us!
To illustrate how *backwards* my area is...there is no 72 hr. psychiatric "hold" for observation!
The cops just wait for ALL our Paranoid Pete's to "break the law" -- then they are hauled off to jail/prison.
Now, I ask the Tribe:
HOW *Neanderthal* is this?
NE NV is NOT the place to have a *mental breakdown*!
[This message edited by dreamlife at 10:44 AM, December 4th (Tuesday)]
These lyrics and song have been playing in my head today. Maybe an anti "NPD Freaks" anthem? Alternate/edited lyrics in bold:
"I Won’t Back Down"
or alternate/edited version
"I Won't Break NC"
Well I wont back down (break NC), no I wont back down (break NC)
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I wont back down (break NC)
Gonna stand my ground, wont be turned around
And Ill keep this world (these NPD Freaks) from draggin me down
Gonna stand my ground and I wont back down (break NC)
Hey baby, there aint no easy way out
Hey I will stand my ground
And I wont back down (break NC).
Well I know whats right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on (Dealing with NPD Freaks that keep) pushin me around
But Ill stand my ground and I wont back down (break NC)
Hey baby there aint no easy way out
Hey I will stand my ground
And I wont back down (break NC)
No, I wont back down (break NC)
[This message edited by bobelina at 11:43 AM, December 4th (Tuesday)]
Thnx 4 posting!
There are soooo many songs that bring back memories or that time. This is a big one:
Slip sliding away, slip sliding away
You know the nearer your destination, the more you slip sliding away
Whoah and I know a man, he came from my hometown
He wore his passion for his woman like a thorny crown
He said dolores, I live in fear
My love for yous so overpowering, Im afraid that I will disappear
I know a woman, (who) became a wife
These are the very words she uses to describe her life
She said a good day aint got no rain
She said a bad day is when I lie in the bed
And I think of things that might have been
And I know a father who had a son
He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he'd done
He came a long way just to explain
He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping
Then he turned around and he headed home again
Whoah God only knows, God makes his plan
The information's unavailable to the mortal man
Were workin our jobs, collect our pay
Believe were gliding down the highway, when in fact were slip sliding away
*her other son tried to commit suicide twice. she didn't call 911 the second time even though he was vomiting up the sleeping pills he had swallowed because he didn't want to be committed. he wanted to kill himself, but didn't want to be institutionalized... or forced to take his meds*
[This message edited by veritas at 2:16 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)]
How about these guys For Mascotts:
[This message edited by bobelina at 2:30 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)]
Luv the cat! LOL However, those Penguins remind me of my N for some strange reason, BoB.
[This message edited by bobelina at 3:23 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)]
Oh, BoB, don't worry...I'll just have "Chloe" do something naughty to Hugh over in F&G!
veritas & Thren~ my N was so paranoid-Pete-ish that his sister told me that after his parents moved out to stay @ her home (inlaw apt built) & he had to live there alone for 2 weeks, he had the house completely *barricaded* with chairs up against the doors, windows all booby-trapped, etc...must've been a sight to see...too bad SHE didn't video that over to me!
[This message edited by dreamlife at 6:51 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)]
I was talking to a lady I hadn't seen in a while today, and the conversation set off this worried thought I'm having.
She told me she had gotten divorced and that things were great - she had a new boyfriend. Then she started telling me all the problems her new boyfriend had and how he really didn't treat her well!
So, I'm really wondering, are all people this messed up? Maybe trading the devil you know for a new one isn't worth it?
My views on life are so skewed now, I don't know what to think anymore!! My WH went to massage parlors, strip clubs, is addicted to pot (still is and still lies about it), and is bipolar.
His continued lying has just destroyed me. Six weeks ago, he begged me to go to an appointment with our MC. I had asked him to separate and stay out of the house for about 10 days at the time. I went, and the MC and the two of us came up with a list of things that he needed to do.
MC said let him come back and let him show you. So, he came back. He goes to AA meetings but has no sponsor. He has no IC and failed to make an appointment with one. He does take his meds now. So, he is half way trying. He still lies all the time about pot and going over to this house to get it and about how much money he is spending.
Am I being unrealistic to think that there is anyone better? Maybe the expectations I had as a younger person were wrong. Maybe everyone is messed up?
Did I just have a foolishly naive view of the world and marriage?
You all know he is NPD as well. Yesterday, he was mad at me and he said sh*t like
"I don't make you bitter, you make yourself bitter. You make yourself angry"
Right, it has nothing to do with fucktard's actions. No one else would be mad being lied to all the time and neglected.
Then he said "Yes, I went to strip clubs and massage parlors (and screwed a stripper) after ten years of no sex life". Total BS. First of all, the earlier years of our marriage our sex life was very busy and he still treated me like sh*t. Secondly, the couple of years before he started cheating, he was always GONE for 7 hours a day on the weekends and when he was home he was stoned out of his mind! I was the one who should have been looking elsewhere!
Oh, and he's not selfish because he gives me 90% of his paycheck. True, but what about love, caring, helping with children, not being nasty, not lying, not doing drugs, etc?????
Anyway, you get the idea, blameshifting crap, not owning things.
Later that night, he admitted he was totally wrong and was just angry. Then he went to an AA meeting and came home and said he finally asked for a sponsor. But I hardly even care. and I don't believe a word he says.
My perspective is completely gone.
In the "NPD Freaks" mind, regardless of their behaviors, their behaviors are "nothing" compared to yours. LOL.
All the lies you told in court and about me not having the truck. All you do is lie, etc...
This from the fucking sword swallower who had at least 5 PA's and 12 EA's going on...and lied about everything, including his family, background, training, military service, etc...
Yep, my lying about not know where the truck was in order to buy myself a week to avoid garnishment so I could keep feeding my child because he won't pay his ordered support is *SO* much worse than anything his sorry ass has ever done...
I think the best way to deal with him is to plant him. OH, a girl can dream...
On another note, my 1st XH called last night (I guess that's what I get for having his sister watch DD sometimes) to ask me if I wanted to go rabbit hunting this weekend (yes, I'm a bunny killer, sorry )
I said, "IF I do, you KNOW you're not getting any, right?" To which he responded, "Yeah, it will be just like when we were married..."
To be honest, it sounds to me like you've given it everything you've got, and you need to retreat and take care of yourself now. Is that possible? Nothing you decide now has to be permanent. You will still have the option of "letting him show you" later. But right now, you are so tired and injured! If you need a break from all this stress, don't let the MC talk you into trying again when you are too burned out to try. Tell him/her that you HAVE to rest for now. You are the only person who can decide whether it's time for you to go. You are the only one who can decide what YOU need. And you know what? YOU HAVE THAT RIGHT! Yes, you have to consider the consequences of your choices, but the consequences of taking care of yourself are NEVER harsher than the consequences of neglecting your own needs.
Listen to others who offer advice, but above all, listen to your own inner self. She is beaten down, but she isn't gone, and she IS talking to you.
I know it's not easy. But listen to her.