I hope you get full custody, your ex sounds like a train wreck about to happen.
Sorry your into this, Have a great time with DS.
Thinking about you man
I am finally feeling a bit up, and W comes beck this week. I just don't want to fall back into the dark hole.
Hows everyone else.
The home front here all is going well. SO and I drove up to the cities and spent some time with my old nieghbors. Was great reconnecting with them. Stayed at a nice hotel. That morning we headed out to a wildlife preserve along the river. Alot of Bald Eagles all hunting on the river side. It was good to break out the old camera after this long winter. Got some great shots. My SO had never been around Eagles like that in the wild. So it was exciting for her.
Hey, you gonna share a pic or two. Would love to see them.
Thought I'd come in here with a request for some kind of - I don't know - male support? yeah, that's the ticket.
I feel sometimes like a beat up fucked up mess. Here I try to go around & maybe be funny & offer help -
& shit! I end up wanting to go fucking postal on all these mofos!
Just a bad glitch I guess.
I hope I'm not permanently fucking damaged by the awfulness that's happened - that's CONSTANTLY going on.
WTF is wrong with people???
I don't know if I'll ever understand -
heh - I'm looking at not even WANTING to understand -
I'm looking for a big fucking rock, to either throw,
or crawl under.
jjct Glad ya made it here. Its betrayed men only, so vent away we SO understand all BTDT.
Yea, I love to see some of the other shots. I am wanting to go up to Montana to a couple of nesting areas.
But I have to go by myself, my W has no patiance to wait out a shot.
African Fishing eagle
I get the news from people talking (no TV). It's funny how being away from the noise (no radio either), seems to make things clearer.
It's counterintuitive, but I think not being "in it" somehow allows for different, "outside" perspective.
I think of the silences you must enjoy out there - in eagle-land.
I find a craving - a need, a desire; as if for a good thing - for silences within.
So, emerging from under the silent rock - I hear...you know what I hear?
I hear this world is swimming in a sewer,
enjoying the fecal view of this infidelity or that new nudity,
this peccadillo, that new vogue -
Anciently, no army defeated the soldiers of Joshua's army,
but honey-dripping lips.
Sigh shrug swim.
Sigh shrug swim.
Infidelity, the iceberg-tip of the lathered filth of worldwide, in-your-face lasciviousness-
is a flood.
Hell, at least I can swim.
The audible undertow of emotional murder, the humming holocaust of drowning children, men & women - all innocent!
deafens my silence with its noise.
I think I know exactly why Vincent- POOR VINCENT! - cut off his fucking ear.
Where's my fucking rock....
Wondering how the guys are doing. Are youe getting any support from WW?
Me I am swirling 4 and a half months from the bid D-Day and various minor ones since. Kinda lonely being in this place.
jjct - you know there is so my truth to allowing the world consume your very being. The trick is how mailtain the solitude of self and also being able tosurvive the turmoil of the physical world - and the racetrak wrecking values it promotes.
hefty - hey man, good to see you. Yea, it is a tough go of things. I guess the magic is how much fight you have in you. I would hope that you and the W have found some kind of medium to work from.
As to support, well I am still in the place of no talk no problem. She now gets more upset if I even mention SI. I question if it is wise to keep coming here - but you know what - it is the only support system I have, So for my own sanity, I will continue to come here. It is a lonely subject because I so need for her to be "there" for me, but I have learned through very hard experience that she is not capible of that. I think she wants to be there, she just doen't know how to. And the trip for would involve too much pain - and it is something she just is not cpaiable of. So sad.
SO how's everything else happening for you.
I don't get much support from my DW, her major depression pretty much sucks up most of the energy from the family.
So, I support myself, no matter what, I can count on myself.
This far past d-day, the A doesn't really affect us anyhow. It's just dealing with life now.
how is your wife treating you? Is she coming out of teh fog?
One thing I wanted to share is something I found in an unexpected place (for me at least).I'm not religous at all. Guess I could be considered agnostic but for some reason I was driven to pick up a bible and as I was reading, I came across an interesting section in the book of Proverbs (ch. 6). The passage below just really connected with me and I wanted to share it with you guys, although I'm sure it won't be new to some.
Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?
Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?
So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.
Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry;
But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold; he shall give all the substance of his house.
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.
For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.
I'm about 16 months out from my FWW ending her second affair. I still struggle with anger sometimes and somehow just reading that passage calms me down, even though I'm not really spiritual.
Anyways, hello to all of you and here's hoping to better days ahead for all of us.
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow." -Albert Einstein
"Think of a
I hope you get that 50% custody. I know my girls keep my focused on R, I would not trust another man around them.