I am so sorry that this is happening to your son, and you.
Thats really the big difference between men and women. Guys can take physical abuse well, its the emotional abuse that kills us.
I gotta tell ya, I work with a guy that still stays putting up with his cheating wife. Im not out to change the world but I also wish this guy would just realize you can't change another persons attitudes or desicions. Every week or so he tells me a story about his wife. He thinks staying for her is best for the children. She comes and goes as she pleases, does little to nothing of raising the 3 kids. He blames it off on a mental illness, and sticks by it. Its and up and down ride depending on if she has a BF.
I refuse to be that, I got my own life, and I desearve happiness. I got happiness now. I got a whole future with someone that values me. I love my son and would so love to pull him outta her spiral, but all I can do is what is best long term.
[This message edited by TwiceTorn at 11:46 PM, June 2nd (Monday)]
I do wonder, part of me feels justified in finding out who my son is with at times. But honestly I give a flying fuck who my XWW is with. I don't want my son exposed to it.
Mine was pretty good, I spent it with my kids at a school picnic, then at my parents, setting up my dad's laptop for Wifi.
What happened to all the SI men? Typing fingers broke?
What happened to all the SI men? Typing fingers broke?
Typing fingers okay but shoulder and back sore from too much time at the computer at work.
Well... as of right now I am working on the "forgive and forget" part of this business. I may have made it through the anger stage finally as I am starting to feel pretty good about myself again.
I made a few new friends the past couple of weeks at a worksite and that helps a whole lot.
The WW has been more friendly of late - maybe a little time does her some good also...
Who knows how this wil end up for all of us. It certainly isn't any fun, that's for sure.
I posted this in JFO the other day if any of you want to take a look. I felt it was an important message to send to any of the newer BH's.
You know I have been here and posted buches lately. I just hit delete before submit.
I have been hanging in the darker spaces of the mind and it is just dragging me down, didn't figure too many wanted to join the ride. I am becoming self consious about the loength and depth of this battle for something I am not sure exists anymore.
Actually Fathers day was kind of a bummer, I heard the words three times. Considering I have 12 kids, I'll excuse the dead one. It wqas kind of frustrating.
Anyway, I check here everyday to see if anyone is around.
So Hey all.
this thing that we're all dealing with. we come on here and try. i feel like i couldn't find my ass with both hands and a tutor half the time.
but i'm scared. i got to admit it. it's been hard to.
to tell you the things i've seen and heard would make you all think i'm crazy. i'm scared of that.
cat's already out of that damn bag though so i'll just move on.
i been doin this: ))))
sortof a manhug, kwim?
dam poor guy, lostdoc? had to ask if it was ok to hug another man -
anyway, i think of it as more of a shoulder slap and a loving in the eye i got yer back brutha kind of thing.
just tryin ta hep.
yah, i get it. the helpless tryin ta help. whadda joke.
we got more on our plates than to worry 'bout what we got in here, at SI, right?
here's what i got.
i still practically LIVE here.
dam, i'm busy! i got a stack o' file to prove it! i made the boss laugh his ass off, sayin: "I worked my way out of a parkin spot!"
i thought it was good.
but man! i donlike parkin across the street mondats, wednesdays, & fridays!
but it's been busy, and we don't have room for all the cars!
i waited a long time 'fore i mustered up the courage to pm mh about sending a hundred bucks to this site as a donation and not getting a thanks. like i'm an asshole, right?
poor guy. runnin this shit.
like i had a fuckin right to a moment of his time!
tell u wot.
i think i wanna save money so i can give more to si. what?
i think it's one of the the best bargains on the planet actually.
starting to get out a little, guys.
i joined a local social/hiking club - it's a dam good idea.
playing some softball with some other greyhairs that think they remember how to play lol...
tweaked my dam achilles though
limpin thru a few days
compared to what i've read here at si though.
you look at how it works.
the wise ones help the hurt ones.
the bestest thing we can do - EVAR!
so )))))))) to all you.
My IC said that since I hike already by myself that it might be good to get into a group like that. I'm glad to hear its working out for you, gives me more encouragement. And I know MH is a super busy guy so on his behalf I will thank you for your donation. And again on my behalf, I also thank you. I threw a bit of money myself in ye olde tip jar last week so its good to other men representin'.
I'm scared also dude. I got a lot stacked up against me, even without all this A stuff. Scared of other stuff also but I could write a 3 page list, so I won't.
One of the problems with this site is that we read so many stories of total assholes who apparently have no respect for women. It's important for all of us to remember that while we're not perfect, we are Men, and act the way a Man should. It's important to connect IRL with Men who do more than just hang out at bars trying to pick up women, kwim?
eta: Hopefully this makes some sort of sense
[This message edited by wifehad5 at 6:51 PM, June 26th (Thursday)]
The people you do your life with shape the life you live
puttin aloe on my belly
ol ser's lookin for fishy fishies over in f&g -
i broached the subject of a week off in august - got the green light
like to video some kind of ridiculousness to donate & sell for the tipjar
anybody got ideas?
all i can think of is a *serious* rendition of scotch & soda...maybe the ride on the MTA, or 'it takes a worried man', the merry minuet
silly and fun to do-
(aint wearin no dam dress neither)
but yeah, i appreciate the scared-sharin
much more than i can say.
helps me too
I SOOO wish I could have made a clean break from her but I can't since she pretty much has my son minus 4 hours a week. WTF chanced of that is there, 1 day before dday#2 she gets pregnant with my son. Talk about a total mind fuck that Im still not over. We tryed for the better part of our M to get pregant.
We as guys get fucked through the legal system for custody of our kids. Like somehow their better off with the mother even though they are not right in the head. I don't get it!
See and thats another thing, my XWW want's to remain in control of my son. She won't even accept Child Support, we have been through 3 mediators now on this. I really think her major plan was to leave me high and dry after her father past with whatever POS guy she found, and live trust fund money. I honestly think she had a plan, I was good enough till she had money from her parents passing, and I was a goodbye with red lipstick on the mirror.
I say fuck that bitch! Honestly what kinda person could be that cold and calculating!? She will never be a good mother,to much is about her, and only her... I only have one fight left, and that is for my son, that should have never been thrown into this crap pile...
The internal landscape - how could i have missed the signs of such cold unfeeling calculation? - is an asskicker too. Maybe slightly not as much, because i can at least try to do something to fix my flaw in sucky sight and judgment.
It's a battle on two fronts. Sending you strength to fight it.
I can't do much, but I can send positive thoughts and prayers for you and your son. He's lucky he has you in his life, and as he grows, you'll be a positive influence.