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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 3
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, July 12th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh! and dad of 3)))))
I always prided myself on not being jealous.
Now I picture myself walking into that room and puttin my foot down like a bear, sayin: "Dam right I'm jealous!" and all sorts of other stuff, but that's because I subsequently read that God is jealous, after all this stuff came out.

After.
So I had to turn around and figure....it was a good thing. I had been not seeing that before.


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, July 12th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and tputer's on the beach in hawaii!
Dam him! Dam him to hell! How'm I doin with the jealous-thing?

Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
limbo-boy
♂ Member
Member # 23710
Default  Posted: 6:46 AM, July 17th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

been on the site a while and only just found you guys...just wanted to say hi from the UK...


BH:47
WW:45
D-Day: 05/08
OM#1 - 8mnth EA
OM#2 - 2wk PA
4 x DS
Trying to R, but detatching on a daily basis

Posts: 63 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: UK
Lonerider
♂ Member
Member # 9205
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, July 17th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi limbo, welcome to the thread.


BS me 43 years old
WS her 45 years old
married 14 years, together 20
2 kids
D-day 7/15/05

Posts: 4225 | Registered: Dec 2005 | From: western NY
Shoestring
♂ Member
Member # 20731
Default  Posted: 3:53 AM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What happening to me/us?

I just can't get affectionate as time goes by. I was right after D-Day and up until about 5 months ago, but not anymore.

We are a year and 5 months out.

I don't want to hug her.
I don't want to kiss her.
I don't want to have sex.
I don't want to tell her I love her.

I just don't......

Her 25 year A seems to be coming between us like she was with me for the last 10 years of our marriage. No affection or sex all that time whatsoever.

She told me she wasn't interested in sex after menopause and couldn't get excited anymore.

Yet she was active with her OMM during all those years.

She won't, can't or will not
give me the words of affirmation that I need so desparetly.

I don't know why?

I also don't know if I want to be with her anymore if this continues. Finacially we can't live separate. There just isn't the funds to split and we have no other place to go.

Besides I take care of my 91 year old Mother....

Anybody have any advice?

I surely need some right now....


H (me) 73 Nov 7th
WS (her) 71 Aug 6th
A lasted 25+ years
Maybe all our married life?
M 53 yrs on Oct 2
OMM - Same age as WS
They were Hi school sweethearts
D-day March 27, 2008
Children grown Son 48 D 44


Posts: 656 | Registered: Aug 2008
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 8:38 AM, July 22nd (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Shoestring)))

You wife just sounds cruel to me. I don't really have any advice, but wanted you to know I've read your post, and I'm thinking about you.


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 35369 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, July 23rd (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shoe,

Its tuff being where we are. With my WWs A it was the same as yours, OM got the great sex and I get to deal with menopause. He got the meat and I get the scrapings from the bottom of the pan.

The $$ shit makes it tuff to. When your married for a long time finances get so tied up that its tuff to find a way to untangle it and build seperate lives. Its easy for outsiders to say "what is the price of your happiness?" and suggest you just cut ties and go your seperate ways. It just aint that easy.

I think the best you can do is just do the 180. Focus on you and build your life the way you want it. At worst youll live with your WW as room mates, but there is also the possibility that she will see your new strength and be attracted to you again. Wether you leave that door open to her is up to you though.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, July 23rd (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shoestring -- are you two in MC/IC?

She won't, can't or will not
give me the words of affirmation that I need so desparetly.

I don't know why?

What does she say when asked??


Have you tried courting her at all? Like start over again from the beginning?

Sounds like a crappy deal all around -- but give it a go and give it your best shot. What do you have to lose?


-t2g


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9145 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, July 24th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hey shoe)))

got somemanhugs for ya, hearin the things here, seems to make me

o hell. alot of things. I hear these things. Some kind of songs.

this one came with a title, dang.
Called it 'your name'.

Is impressive to me,
Being john.

Makes me wonder what my new name will be.
Infinitely.

It is ok guys.
There lasts that which is pure.

God is for sure!

Well, I pray. noobs)))

keep postin! (an watch the drunkpostin).

still, say anything here. is safe.
hugs to the sistahs too. They aint all bad.
I'm puttin my bet on SI-
helps me.
many many many thanks.


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
hurts
♂ Member
Member # 9444
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, July 29th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey guys, good to be back.

Hoping to catch up here soon.

Just wanted to say hey.


Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
--- Charles M. Schulz
SO if I check my pulse, and it is not there, do I get the day off?

Posts: 8381 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: At Home
Lonerider
♂ Member
Member # 9205
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, July 29th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome back hurts, I hope you had a nice break.


BS me 43 years old
WS her 45 years old
married 14 years, together 20
2 kids
D-day 7/15/05

Posts: 4225 | Registered: Dec 2005 | From: western NY
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, July 29th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome back hurts! Looking forward to seeing your pictures


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 35369 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
INeedaBandAid
♂ Member
Member # 24869
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, July 29th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lol @ betrayed men .... i guess its funny because in most cases, one would think its the man who ruins everything.

But I guess there are some good dudes out there in the world who try to do things the right way.

I'm 37 and I say barring any bullets or plane crashes, I have 30 years left on earth. 2009 is like my All-Star Break. The middle of the season.

Seems like every month something has gone wrong when this was supposed to be the year that put me over the top.

January - Laid Off
February/March - Wife goes to trip to see OM
April - A few D-Days
May - My pastor dies
June - Had a pretty good June. The Lakers won so that helped
July - watching bills stack up.

It's been tough. I once thought I was bulletproof. That, my friends, is bullshit.


Posts: 286 | Registered: Jul 2009
dirk pitt
♂ Member
Member # 22167
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, July 29th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

INBA, You need stitches.

because in most cases, one would think its the man who ruins everything.

If anyone who knew my W and I as a couple, heard one of us had an affair, I would have been the guilty one.

You just can never say never.

Gnite all


Me=BS
Her=WW (ilovemyhusband)

Posts: 2127 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: ottawa ontario
lingerdog
♂ Member
Member # 24459
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, July 30th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

INAB

Seems like every month something has gone wrong when this was supposed to be the year that put me over the top.

January - Laid Off
February/March - Wife goes to trip to see OM
April - A few D-Days
May - My pastor dies
June - Had a pretty good June. The Lakers won so that helped
July - watching bills stack up.

Last two months for me. WW grows distant, catch the A, D-day, WW leaves tells me she never loved me and isn't coming back. Have to lay brother off from work because of finances, work truck blows engine, have to take on third partner in company, I get marginalized and take a pay cut, but am doing the same work, while majority owner gets a raise and does less work. A/C breaks in house. WW stops letting me see our son. Have power cut off at house by WW. Living in shop at work for the past week and having to take cold showers at the house. Nearly have a heart attack do to high BP from stress, that was thankfully caught in time. Have dropped three belt notches from weight loss.

But things are looking up for me now, I did take a really good crap this morning and thought about OM the entire time.


What lies behind us & what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Oliver Wendell Holmes -Stolen from Uni's page

Posts: 8921 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Awesomeville
hurts
♂ Member
Member # 9444
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, July 30th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow linger, I mean crap - glad you can see the good things that happen.

Hang in there man, I know it is so old, but things have to start to improve soon. I hear the hard times, I'm back to looking for work also, just trying to keep the shop open right now.


Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
--- Charles M. Schulz
SO if I check my pulse, and it is not there, do I get the day off?

Posts: 8381 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: At Home
lingerdog
♂ Member
Member # 24459
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, July 30th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Things are improving, I leave in a few minute to look at an apartment, and I quit this job friday and start a new one monday, already lined up. My brother who was laid off, I'm giving him my interest in the business so he will also have work again.


What lies behind us & what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Oliver Wendell Holmes -Stolen from Uni's page

Posts: 8921 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Awesomeville
hurts
♂ Member
Member # 9444
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, July 30th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cool, sounds like you've got yourself on a good path for the moment. Best of luck to you.


Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
--- Charles M. Schulz
SO if I check my pulse, and it is not there, do I get the day off?

Posts: 8381 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: At Home
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, July 30th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

linger.
prays your brother can make a go!
to the rest of the lurkers and noobs, whent puter gets back from the beach dam his hide, we're gonna fig
sigh
guess i won't figure it out till the end.
Then i'll have the rest of eternity to forget, anyway,
that's where i wanna go.
))))those anonymous ones

Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
TwiceTorn
♂ Member
Member # 13895
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, August 3rd (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey guys, hope things are well with ya all. I did here a song today that kinda made alot of sense, I hadn't heard it in a while, but now it kinda makes a whole lot of sense.

Sponge Plowed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHjdmNLs0go


You've got to trust your instinct
And let go of regret
You've got to bet on yourself now star
'Cause that's your best bet~311 All mixed up


Posts: 3597 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Minnesota
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