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User Topic: Long Term Affairs -V I I
runoverbytruck
♀ Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, November 21st (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome newbies!

He actually told me today (and started on it) that he was going to write it all out, make a time line for us b/c he doesn't like me feeling as if I'm still in the dark.

I'm in disbelief here. He OFFERED??? HE doesn't like that you're in the dark? Really? That's pretty awesome, actually. Take everything you can get, Going To. I asked my H for a timeline...OH, I don't know...maybe over a YEAR AGO!!! He "can't remember".

Anyway...Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I asked my friend who isn't from this country what it means to her and she said, "It is just a day to practice gratitude." So, Happy Gratitude Day everyone!

Love you all.


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, November 21st (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll chime in and wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving, too!

((((newbies)))) Welcome to the club none of wanted to join. But you will find a sisterhood here and people that understand like noone else can. Be good to yourselves and ask away any questions. As you have seen, you will never be ignored and always get sound advice here on the LTA board.

Heartbroken


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
soverysad
♀ Member
Member # 14594
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, November 21st (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just chiming in with my own Happy Thanksgiving. This is my favorite holiday because it is about giving thanks. For what you have.

And man, I have alot. So many blessings to be thankful for:

Our beautiful COM - who, even if the HO wants to "erase" (and yes, run that was her word) will never go away.

My dear stepdaughter, who is growing into a lovely and thoughtful woman.

My home - it may be messy, still in boxes, but it is ours.

A wonderful family who loves me, the children and H.

Many good friends - in real life and here, onlne.

My health, my heart and my faith. This year of utter humiliation has shown me my weaknesses, but also given me my strengths. I kinda like me now. LOL

Blessings Tribe,
SVS



Posts: 518 | Registered: May 2007
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Question  Posted: 10:34 PM, November 21st (Wednesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the insight Weepy. 2 of our 3 know about the A. they are disappointed in H but have forgiven him, I think. Our oldest may be aware that something is 'off' but he hasn't said anything and we haven't enlightened him.

25W: I can only imagine how an OC will make a difference in your family dynamic. My H didn't want the kids to know. One son was having trouble in his live-in relationship and I slipped and ended up telling him about H. Recently our DD was blindsided by this son's X and we had an elephant in the room for a while but have had a heart to heart since. I have mixed feelings on this but am coping... a day at a time.

{{{SVS}}} So glad to hear the great news that you got a fair judge who sees thru the HO's lies and settled a lot for you.

{{{Ziggy}}} Sorry to hear your news but know that we are here for you and there's a D/Separation group on SI too. What is it with 30+ yrs of marriage and these men? I wish I had an answer for both of us...

Welcome newbies.
{{{LTA tribe}}}

Happy Thanksgiving to those in the US.

Sorry if I missed anyone. 3 pages of messages since I was here earlier and my brain is tired. Typos R me and I'm off to bed.
G'nite.


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 12:32 AM, November 22nd (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just got home from my 1st ballet. The Nutcracker. Went with my DD that just got M. We had a good time.
At one point we both got tickled, you know the kind where no matter what you can't quit laughing. Like for about 5 solid minutes. Luckily we were able to keep it silent, just alot of shaking. Damn that felt soooooo good. Real laughter.

My IC gave me homework this week. She wants a list of what I want. What are my wants out of life.
After tonight I think I know the answer to that. My list will consist of one want. I want to ENJOY LIFE AGAIN. All the material wants and emotional wants that I could list would not matter if I was not enjoying life.

(((((Ziggy))))) So sorry that you find yourself in this situation.

SVS-So happy for you. Glad you've got that much more of the battle behind you.

((((Lost)))) How you doing??

UTC- hope you get to feeling better. Nice to hear from you.

To all the rest (((((LTA Tribe)))))

Happy Turkey Day to All

Wish I could send each of you some of that laughter that DD and I enjoyed tonight. It was so fabulous. I got a taste of what life is supposed to feel like.

LOL
FSA

Sorry I forgot to welcome the newbies. It's late here. But welcome and hope you find what you need here. I know I always have.

[This message edited by Feeling so alone at 12:33 AM, November 22nd (Thursday)]


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 4:12 AM, November 22nd (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good morning all.

Had a long telephone chat with H last night.I had planned the letter out in my head, but didnt get a chance to write it as he called.

I let him take the lead - he said he wanted to know what has been going on with me for the last week, how I felt etc, but could I please not make it accusatory.Just talk about my feelings. This was big for me because he usually never wants to know about my feelings, as they make him feel bad.

So I calmly went through the last 2 weeks with him, starting with how I felt bad because he hadnt made a deal about my registration, through to how good the weekend was and how confident I had felt about him doing the letter.After all hehad staked his family on it, so for me, that meant he really got it.

Then how on Sunday how totally offguard he caught me by not doing it--what that made me feel--that he had delib sabotaged us, that we were not worth his effort, and that he had thrown us away on purpose.How numbed and shocked I was initially, and then how I slid into panic and hurt and despair, when he hadnt made any positive moves by 2 nights later.

I told him that it was worse now.After dday 1, the kids and I were not used to having him around, so we didnt feel it when he left.But this time around,we have grown so close as a family in the last months, that we felt his abscence, that our family was incomplete without him. I told him how DS kept asking about him. How youngest DD had made him a card every night...this is the same DD who prev has NEVER made him a card, when he asks her she would give him one she had made for me, and just scratch my name out!
Eldest DD as usual missed her F ALOT.

Then he spoke about his week. He said that he knew he had to write the letter, but stalled because thinking about his past made him feel so bad.BUT he said that he had forgotten about his ultimatum.I find this so hard to believe.How can you forget something like this??

So he only remembered when I mentioned it that night. HE said he went into a panic kind of survival mode where he has been for the whole week.He said he just couldnt believe this was happening, and he didnt know what to do esp as we were spiralling out of control. Write the damn letter maybe?
He said how he had missed me, the kids, being a F and H, how diff it was living in a hotel now compared to before etc.

So then we spoke about what next.HE said that he wanted to come back home and that I will def have the letter in the am.If what he wrote was lacking, he was prepared to add on my suggestions.So I agreed.He came home this morning, I have the letters, the kids are so happy...and I am so ambivalent.

*I feel weak for crashing the way I did. I thought I would be stronger.

* I am so angry with him for jeopardising our family like this.

* I am disappointed and hurt that he didnt tke action immediately

*I am so pissed off at the amount he spent at the hotel. He maxed the credit card! He didnt even try to find cheaper option esp knowing our financial status. That just reeked of selfishness to me, and reminded me of how he was before.

*He didnt even think that chosing that hotel might hurt me.(it didnt actually which is surprising.I am just pissed at the cost!)

*He showed me the side of him that I had thought was gone. Now I know its still there.And maybe its always going to be there.And that scares me so much. How can I ever trust him? How would I ever feel safe with him knowing this?

However I am pleased he is home. It feels right.

So what happens next? Just take it each day as it comes.

******
Thank you all for your support.We dont do Thanksgiving here, but I think the principle of it is just awesome.A day for giving thanks.

I am humbled and grateful to all of you.You are my online family.Thank you.
I hope you all had a peaceful and blessed Thanksgiving celebration.

((((Tribe))))


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 4:50 AM, November 22nd (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now for the rest of you!

FSA, The Nutcracker!
Wouldnt have anything to do with WH's would it?
Just joking...we love that story!And I am so happy that you are finding happiness and laughter with DD!

((((((((SVS))))))))
That OW is one nasty piece of work. What a mean awful bitch.

How are you and H doing? Do you 2 get to spend time together non-court related?

((Lost Suol))

when she'll be back for the busy season

Do you mean OW? Would you both have to have contact with her? Yikes!

(((ziggy)))
I am so sorry.
But if I were you, I would keep the phone.I know you are not ready to see whats on now, but trust me, you will want to later when the dust has settled.Please take care of yourself.

(((newbies)))
Pull up a chair and settle down.Welcome.
Ukgirl, yes I am still in London, and so not enjoying the crappy weather!

BT

Anyone else see anything in their kids that scares them?

My DS also reminds me of H in his PA behaviour too.Also his sense of entitlement.
To be honest I havent looked too deep into it.I have unfort neglected the kids alot in the past year, and keep thinking I would get back on top of it when things settle down, but...

With eldest DD, I see me which scares me.I see her willingness to be a good girl, to please everyone, to put aside her needs for others.Whereas before I was so proud of her for being a good girl, not it just makes me sad.I try to get her to stop, but it doesnt always work.

What I esp despair about is her future relationship with men, and how H and DS's behaviour affect her.

She adores them both. No matter how crappy DS treats her (and sometimes he goes beyong the big annoying brother routine, she still hangs onto his every word.

She loves H so much, it painful to see.

She is so intelligent and bright and charming. I fear she has caught some of my bad traits and I dont know how to get rid of them.

As for DS,he only started showing this behaviour in the past year. Before that in Australia, he used to annoy the girls, but now it seems like he wants to hurt them.And I wonder if that is his way of getting out the pain and hurt he feels inside??

Hope my mini-thesis answered your question BT!


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 5:15 AM, November 22nd (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Lost Heart. Itís okay, you will get through this. My H also said his A was a huge mistake. He was with his first love who he went out with for four years at school and the first year and a half of uni. They went to different unis and I think geography broke them up. So I have big issues with feeling second choice, second best. He had told her he had waited 25 years for her to come back into his life and that makes me feel my whole marriage has been a masquerade, he spent all that time in limbo. She had kept all his gifts to her, including the engagement ring, and all the poetry he wrote for her. And I found recent poetry about her which was pretty explicit, that was really tough for me, saying about the rush of adrenalin, their mental, physical and emotional chemistry, their intimacy and passion. It was a really bad time. He also says he was ďlostĒ, but lost to me and our family because of what he was doing. I really can identify with you and I also wonder if it is worth trying. I canít forgive him, this is just too big and he has made me feel utterly worthless. I was never the most confident of people in the first place. Maybe your H has found it hard examining himself and facing up to what he has done, which is what he had to do in order to write the letter. And he hadnít forgotten the ultimatum, he just didnít want to believe it.

Has he said what you want in the letter? Are you going to send it or has he done it already? As to the trust, well thatís gone. It doesnít help that all the facts didnít come out in the first place, but then if they had and you had all that information at the time, donít you think you would have simply thrown him out and been divorced by now? After my H confessed his A, about once a month something new would come out and everything would be thrown into disarray again. I know I wouldnít have begun to try.

But one thing. This site is a fine place to visit. Iím not alone!!!

[This message edited by UKgirl at 11:59 AM, November 26th (Monday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 5:32 AM, November 22nd (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Has he said what you want in the letter?

The one thing I knew from the onset is that the letter would not be what I would have liked him to write. I asked him to be honest and to mean every sentence, not write what he thought I wanted to hear, KWIM?

So bearing that in mind,I am quite happy with what he wrote.I have asked him to be less generic in the 2nd one, and he agreed to do that tonight.Hey, I might as well strike now right?

He hasnt sent them. When we do, will do it together.DDay#2's 1 year is coming up. Thats when I found out my whole M had been a sham. I think it would be quite poignant if we did it then.

but then if they had and you had all that information at the time, donít you think you would have simply thrown him out and been divorced by now?

Honestly, I dont know if I would have survived, let alone the M.It would have kiled me to have found out about both A's at the same time. I am not exaggerating.

Hang in there Ukgirl.
It does and WILL get easier. And when the going gets tough, you know you can lean on us.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, November 22nd (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost Heart: I think you held up quite well in your talk with H. I hope your day is all you'd like it to be and that your H has come out of the fog so that he will realize how lucky he is to be let back home.

Do you mean OW? Would you both have to have contact with her? Yikes!

OW is a seasonal worker at H's company. He is her boss so he will have contact with her. He says it will be limited but this is still a sore subject. I don't have to as long as I don't go there during overtime hours.

FSA: I could sure use some of that laughter. What a special evg with your DD.

I am down in the black hole, struggling to get out. I can't seem to get a foothold up. I want to sleep around the clock! But I don't want to dream anymore. I don't know how to shut off the thoughts crowding my brain and my heart is aching.

Think I'll go see what's over in Inspiration.



Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, November 22nd (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just woke up from my after Thanksgiving dinner nap. Yawn....
am down in the black hole, struggling to get out. I can't seem to get a foothold up. I want to sleep around the clock! But I don't want to dream anymore. I don't know how to shut off the thoughts crowding my brain and my heart is aching.
I have to say that laughter always works best for me if I can let myself enjoy something. Sometimes I have to fight myself though. When I'm down at times, I choose to stay there. Ugh. Sleep. That has always been my escape, just don't like to do it too often. I have been blessed that snaggletooth bitch does not invade my dreams. Only once. So, when I get really bad, I sleep to make it go away.

Gotta go. got some errands to run and then FSA has 24 hrs to herself. WOO HOO. This rarely ever happens and I so enjoy a little quite time to myself. H is gone to his other job that he goes to occasionally and he took DS with him. DD is going to a friends house. I'm off for the night and day.

LOL
FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 3:39 AM, November 23rd (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost S,
How are you?
If OW is a seasonal worker, does she have to still be employed by you?

The best tonic for getting out of the dark hole,for me is just getting out of the house. Go visit someone, meet up GFs for coffee, do some window shopping (Xmas is around the corner!), go to gym, anything.

When I am at home alone, I seem to struggle more.I need to get out and be focused on something else.How about starting a new class?

And like FSA said, laughter is a GREAT tonic!

Hope everyone else is doing ok.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, November 23rd (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks, Lost for the reply. I didn't pay much attention to my kids either the first year or two after d-day, but I am looking now and some of the things I see really do alarm me. And my H, too.

We're both working on it and on them and trying to help them learn the things we never did. Coping skills and understanding themselves and their feelings and learning how to express them.

I'm glad to see you and your H were able to come to an understanding. You are both making huge changes in your core selves. That takes a while and you will make mistakes along the way.


Ziggy, I wanted to saw I was sorry for what you found. That is horrible. How are you doing today?

FSA, did you see the nutcracker by the Delta Festival ballet in a special performance by chance?


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, November 23rd (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the support FSA and LostH. I appreciate it so much esp. knowing you are going through your own rough times. I know you are right about getting out, etc. and I'm trying to do that. I've been walking but need to get to the gym too. Today it's snowing so I need to dig out the winter accessories. Unfortunately the outing is to a funeral.

My H doesn't own the company but he's in charge of the operation here. OW's job is specific - training someone new is not an option so I have to live with her being there when conditions warrant it. H and I haven't talked about how we'll deal with the situation this season yet... avoiding conflict as long as possible.

Ziggy... how are you doing?

I hope the quiet on the forum means that the tribe had a peaceful Thanksgiving.
{{{LTA tribe}}}


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, November 23rd (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are both making huge changes in your core selves. That takes a while and you will make mistakes along the way

BT, I hate to put you on the spot, but how do I know that this is what he is doing? How do I know if the real reason he finally wrote that letter was because he found that living in a hotel wasnt that hunkydory,and he is just did what he had to to get home, and bide his time? How do I know that if he was so quick to throw us away just a few days ago, that he wont do it again, when his circumstances are better?

And why am I feeling so numb about him? Could he have just killed off whatever love I had for him? I just dont know how I feel bout him, I dont even know how I feel about myself?

I am feeling adrift and lost...something I havent felt in a long time.I want to hold onto something, but I dont know what. Before despite everything, i held onto the fact that I loved him. Now what do I have left in this M?

Nothing.

I think I have lost faith in the belief that everything will work out.

*****
(((LostS)))


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, November 23rd (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA, did you see the nutcracker by the Delta Festival ballet in a special performance by chance?
Moscow Ballet
It's my 1st ballet so I know absolutely nothing about who that is. But we did enjoy ourselves.
Don't anyone laugh, but I did not realise that the ballet had absolutely no talking. I guess I expected something more like a musical play.
Live and learn!!! DD lives in a city where she can watch for more, and we will probably go again. But, they won't catch us off guard next time. We were under dressed. I knew it would be something nice, just didn't know that you couldn't go dressed like you were going to a movie theater. But it didn't bother us one whit. We had even purchased very nice seats, so we go to sit right in with the best of them. I still smile everytime I think about our fit of laughter. It was so bad that at one point I knew better than to turn to where I could see DD. I was actually blowing out of my mouth (kind of like during child birth) trying to stop.

Catching up on some housework while I'm alone. I've actually got a little bit done. Guess I better get back to it.

Have a nice day all.

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, November 23rd (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BT, I hate to put you on the spot, but how do I know that this is what he is doing? How do I know if the real reason he finally wrote that letter was because he found that living in a hotel wasnt that hunkydory,and he is just did what he had to to get home, and bide his time? How do I know that if he was so quick to throw us away just a few days ago, that he wont do it again, when his circumstances are better?

I hate to say this, but you don't know it and you will never know it. You can look at what he does, at how well he keeps his promises and meets your needs and contributes to your joint life, but you will never know 100 percent that he will not go off the deep end again. That's part of the risk that is involved when allowing someone else to matter to you.

Getting involved with another person is an act of faith -- in them and in yourself. You have faith that they will be and say and do what they have promised, and you trust yourself to do the same. And then you live your life. If things begin to feel wrong, you trust yourself and your instincts and you investigate.

I think that is the great difference between now and then. We realize now that there are no sure things in life and are more aware in the world and in our relationships because of that. We don't trust blindly, we don't ignore problems and we don't take what we have for granted. We know now that promises -- even vows -- do not equal guarantees and that it is encumbent on us to watch out for ourselves. And we understand that being part of a team does not mean forgetting about ourselves as individuals.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, November 23rd (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that is the great difference between now and then. We realize now that there are no sure things in life and are more aware in the world and in our relationships because of that. We don't trust blindly, we don't ignore problems and we don't take what we have for granted. We know now that promises -- even vows -- do not equal guarantees and that it is encumbent on us to watch out for ourselves. And we understand that being part of a team does not mean forgetting about ourselves as individuals

BT...WOW.

I know what you say is true.I have to start believing this. I think I am finding it hard to let go of my naivete and innocence (or maybe those are just other words for blindness).

God I want so much to love and trust this man.I want so much to feel safe and cherished and loved.

BUT I must protect myself. I have to realise that I am too precious to be fucked around with.
I must learn that I deserve to be loved and cherished.
But first I must love and cherish myself.
I have to learn this.

Thanks BT.
You came through again.

(((BT)))


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, November 23rd (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost, find a copy of The Four Agreements. For me, that was a good way to focus on becoming someone I could be happy with and proud of. It made me devote a lot of time and attendion to myself and my own life, which is just what I needed to do. Not that I was such an awful person, just that I had neglected myself for so long that I needed to put a good bit of time and effort into me.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
Going To Make It
♀ Member
Member # 17010
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, November 23rd (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know everyone here is hurting as much as I am, but I could really use a shoulder to cry on.

All day he has flirted, kissed and hugged me. I haven't mentioned anything since the day before Thanksgiving - I told him let's take a break and have some good old fashion fun.

Anyway, I was frisky back, he was turned on (tmi) and told me several times before my shower that he was hoping for intimacy.

He couldn't get it up (again tmi) and then started to blame me. I was putting to much pressure on him. WTF?

I know what the problem is. Mind you, he still insists that no sex happened, that his body didn't touch hers through clothes or out of them.

My final dday I intercepted an email before dh (not dear husband either), the subject line said "No Sexual Rejection" this is in regards to a NC letter I insisted he send in July. He said in the letter that the only reason he seen her all those times was to "show" her what she didn't have.

In the email (which he doesn't know I read) she said the only time he rejected her sexually was the last time. He told me he received an email that day and told me a bit more info to appease me, but he said nothing about the other times she said he didn't reject her. She also told him in the email "good luck getting it up the next time you try the same thing with your wife"

I fully believe she gave him bj's. Way to much tmi for me i'll tell ya. I offered this evening to start the night off right he was all for it, that is until he just couldn't preform. He even took a little blue pill - daddy's little helper and all.

The thing that hurts the most is he is pushing this all off on me and is now sleeping like a baby. He did say not to read to much into this.

God, you can't live with someone for 25 years and not know their body! AHHHHGGGG


BW 47
M 1982 4 Adult Children
2 Grandkids - the light & loves of my life.
LTA Started before we were married and lsted until 9/02 DDay 4/4/04, TT till 9/24/2011

Posts: 948 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Still Wandering in the Desert
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