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User Topic: Long Term Affairs -V I I
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GTMI - I'm sorry I haven't had the chance to welcome you earlier and to assure you that this is a great place to come and get sound advice and lots of support.
I've read your story and have just a few thoughts. First, you mentioned in an earlier post that your H was going to write it all down with a timeline and all the details of his relationship with his XW. Did he do that?
You say he denies having sex with her which you don't believe. You think she gave him bj's. Why do you think this? Do you think it is possible he has the Clinton mentality - "I didn't have sex with that woman"? From your comments, I'm wondering if that is why you are saying this.
Also, my H started having ED around the time of his A. And like yours, blamed me all the time for his trouble. He'd say things like, "You're too sterile." WTF - I'd want to shower before sex, especially before oral sex. Sometimes he'd say, "I am no longer interested in sex, I've moved on to more important things." At the time, I thought he was trying to protect his fragile male ego and, like you, I didn't want to wound him. Looking back, I now know why he was having trouble - IT WAS HIS GUILT. So, my thought here is, that if your H is not being completely honest and knows that is what you need, perhaps his guilt is creating this problem for him.
Also, there are medical conditions that can cause this problem. Diabetes, high blood pressure, certain prescription drugs, alcohol and drug use, so that is always a possibility too.
That aside, my advice to him would be to come clean - to ease whatever guilt he is struggling with, and as you said, only then will you two have true intimacy.
As far as that XW, it is time for her to go. She is poison and since there are no children, there is absolutely no reason for them to maintain contact. The two of you have a real family. He must realize that by continuing any contact with her that he stands to lose all of you. That is a very high price and one I'm sure he doesn't want to pay.
As others on here have said, sometimes the truth comes out slowly. It took months before my H told me the worst - that his A was 8 years. In the beginning he told me it was 8 months long. You are still in the very early stages of discovery. I was most successful in getting him to tell me more of the truth when I could make him feel safe. The night he told me about the 8 years, we were lying in bed being very affectionate and cuddling and I very sweetly
told him it was ok to tell me the truth. That we would be better off once I knew everything. I must have convinced him that it was safe and so he came out with it. Needless to say, I went ballistic but I did have to fake a sense of safety in order for him to come clean. Perhaps others can give suggestions on how this worked for them.
Sending you hugs and feel free to PM me with any questions about the ED problem. We have struggled with this for years.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
Going To Make It
♀ Member
Member # 17010
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fnf, thanks for the welcome. I actually made a comment, in jest right before we went to bed. I know what I said caused the problem. Again, it had to do with a blow job.

As far as admitting anything, he went as far as saying she offered and he told her that would be great, but then he says he changed his mind in the next heartbeat. I just don't buy it. Especially after the comment I made.

He has backed himself into a corner and will never admit it happened, but I would stake my life on it. He normally doesn't have ED, so this is a big sign something is going on in his head, I'm sure he is feeling guilty.

I'm sure I'll be around.


BW 47
M 1982 4 Adult Children
2 Grandkids - the light & loves of my life.
LTA Started before we were married and lsted until 9/02 DDay 4/4/04, TT till 9/24/2011

Posts: 948 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Still Wandering in the Desert
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GTMI - has your H established NC with his X? I think that is the most important thing for the 2 of you right now. I would seriously try to get at the root of his guilt.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
Going To Make It
♀ Member
Member # 17010
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I believe there has been no visual contact since 02. She has continued to send him emails, he can't change his account b/c he is a 1099 contractor. He continues to open them, why I don't know. The last one on or about the 15 said "the only time he sexually rejected her was the last time", he told me right away when he got it, but said he just deleted it, I belive he read it too (I check his email via a backdoor when he's in the shower before he turns on his computer), I can't put a keylogger on as he is to tech savy. Anyway, I believe that is his major source of guilt at this time. I suspect within the next few days (I wrote him another email about honesty) I just might get the 'rest' of the story. I know it in my heart, even though he is still looking me in the eyes and saying nothing happened.

Time will tell.


BW 47
M 1982 4 Adult Children
2 Grandkids - the light & loves of my life.
LTA Started before we were married and lsted until 9/02 DDay 4/4/04, TT till 9/24/2011

Posts: 948 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Still Wandering in the Desert
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GTMI- Welcome

Sorry you find yourself here, but it's a good place to be when you have to be.

I just might get the 'rest' of the story. I know it in my heart, even though he is still looking me in the eyes and saying nothing happened.
If he is holding out on you, so has most all of the other H's.
I don't give much advise b/c I'm not real confident in myself to do so. But in this case I'm going to suggest something. My H lied and lied an lied until now at this point he can tell me something in all honesty and I don't believe him. He ruined any confidence I could ever have in him. Try and stress to him that the truth will eventually come out, it will too. But stress to him that if he lies, that each time he does so and you find it out to be a lie, that he is damaging the R more and more each time. He has no idea the damage holding out will do. My H's lies after Dday have done as much damage as the A itself. I find it to be disrespectful for him to lie to me. And I have been disrespected way too much already. Am I making any sense here, I tend to ramble with my thoughts.

We've got another Thanksgiving gathering today. Hope all have a nice day. Mine has started out a little triggery b/c my SIL sent my H an email with jokes about A's. Sorry, but I can just not fine humor in that any longer. And she knows how we are struggling. This gathering is at her house, I just really don't want to go anymore, but I am. I know she did not mean anything by it. But it just kind of pisses me off b/c she was an OW for quite a while with her current H. And if I'm not wrong it was LTA. So to me it's almost like an inside family joke, she had LTA and then H had LTA. Wish I could just stay home, but my kids will be there also, so I'll put on a smile and act "normal" yet once again. But ya know what. THEY CAN ALL KISS MY REAR.

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Must be the holiday wkend that it's so quiet in here.
Welcome GTMI... sorry that you are here but as others said, it's a great place to be if you need it.

She has continued to send him emails, he can't change his account b/c he is a 1099 contractor. He continues to open them, why I don't know.

I agree with FnF that NC is the only way to go and that means no emails, no texting, no phone calls. He may not be able to change his email address but he can block her address so the emails don't even come to his Inbox. There are several options when you 'block sender' depending on your software.

{{{GTMI}}}


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SIL sent my H an email with jokes about A's

FSA - this just infuriates me. My DD's MIL knows about my H's LTA and continually sends me these kinds of e-mails. How f---ing insensitive is that? I no longer open her e-mails. I have told my DD but I don't want her to have MIL problems so I told her that if it continues, I will have her speak to my SIL and have him talk to his mom. It totally pisses me off. What kind of sick person could think we would ever find humor is this?
Good luck today and if I were you, I would drive my own car and if your SIL even starts and your H doesn't step up and speak up, I would pick up my keys and bid them farewell. Just me though. This is when I can get VERY angry and IMO, we have tolerated enough. I'm done tolerating!
(((FSA)))


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine has started out a little triggery b/c my SIL sent my H an email with jokes about A's. Sorry, but I can just not fine humor in that any longer.

FSA... sorry to read that. I have the same problem. I don't find anything funny about A's or 'off colour' jokes. H gets so much of that 'crap' in his email. He says he rarely opens it but I don't know why these people (both sexes) even send it. Of course, they don't know about his online EA and likely wouldn't believe it of him anyway! Have we had this discussion before? maybe it was on General... brain fog reigns lately with the season changing. Hate the cold weather!

Hope you make it through the day without any more triggering. I am one big bundle of triggers right now, even though my H is being caring and considerate. Nothing seems to work and I'm taking the maximum dose of Effexor as well as 2 serotonin tablets at night, plus many health supplements/vitamins.

Lots of errands today so maybe that and the fresh air will be good for me. I need a "Calgon take me away" week or more!!! <GriN>


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FNF, Lost Soul, & the other newbies...

Hang in there, troops. The downs in the roller coaster DO come back up. It's no joke about the getting away part. Find that part of you that you want to cultivate, but "just didn't have time" to before. This was a life saver for me.

As far as admitting anything, he went as far as saying she offered and he told her that would be great, but then he says he changed his mind in the next heartbeat. I just don't buy it. Especially after the comment I made.

Trust your gut, here. As the others have said, sometimes in the "fog" the WS's are either still in denial, don't want to think about it OR think that YOU can't handle the "full truth." This process is shame-filled for the WS since they have to own up to what they've done and face the person they betrayed. Not that I am excusing the A, just giving an insight into how they see this & might feel. But the important thing to stress to your H is that you NEED to know the truth, no matter what. My H used to get upset because he'd tell me A-related stuff that I asked and it "upset" me.
I don't know if he really ever got it, as he sort of viewed continuously talking about it as me "picking at the scab." Anyway, I always told him that it was part of the process. I truly believe that in order to recover from an LTA you HAVE to know exactly what you are recovering from. Because of the length of the A, they may not remember bits and peices. But the "biggies" they either do or should remember and share those with you.

FSA & FNF

What kind of sick person could think we would ever find humor is this?

One thing I found out after my precious baby boy died, after any kind of a trauma you really DO find out who your true friends are. A true friend is someone who watches out for your feelings and actually listens. These persons may be a part of your "extended family" but you should NOT trust them, and you need to put up those boundaries with them. You should NOT have to subject yourselves to their insensitivities. After my son died, there were people I truly just could not be around because they were so insensitive and wounded me too deeply. And you know what, you NEED to do that for yourselves. If they continue the behavior, let them know you do not want any JOKES about this subject. And after that, if they do.... implement whatever protective measures you can to protect YOU. Getting through and recovering from a LTA is hard enough without having to deal with people that know your situation and are still ignorant or willfully hurting you.

Can you tell I've had some of these lessons learned the hard way?

Really, I am protective of our little group here. So take my words with the grain of salt and understand they are said with a very sincere heart.

Heartbroken (aka HB)


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
25wimsey
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Member # 7816
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Re: the ED problem--my H also began having some problems in the years right before the infidelity started, and at the same time I was starting perimenopause/menopause. It was also the time Viagra came out--we used that and it was okay, but my libido was down as my body was adjusting to the change in hormones, and it was just that--okay.

Then the cheating started, with a new, younger, different woman, and it jump-started his own sex drive--says "there were problems sometimes", used Viagra with her as well, but it did improve for him,, a big ego boost.

Now, things have changed for us both. Don't exactly know why, H still has some problems but they seem to be more related to depressive mood swings now, guilt, etc. My body seems to have found a new source of estrogen somewhere, and with a little more time it's pretty good now. And H doesn't use Viagra or any of the others now, when he's on, he's on. Still hard for me to not, in the recesses of my mind, think that it's me somehow when he's not on--not being desirous enough, but most of the time, I just think that it's life approaching 60 for both of us, and take the good when we can.

One of the lingering affects of the infidelity--my self-esteem, while improved, will never be the same.

The ED problem is a bitch--and like someone said, you don't want to pressure the guy, just makes it worse, so we wind up trying to be "understanding"--and look where that got me! So now I try to at least talk about stuff if it's on my mind or causing a problem. Gingerly, but ask I do.

I also hate affair jokes--and am just now able to watch a tv or movie with infidelity in it, as long as it's not the main story. We had started watching Deadwood, from HBO, on DVD and got up to the the second season where the infidelity occurs with the protagonist--by then I was so invested in the characters and the story, that I said--we will watch this, not trigger, and see what happens. That has worked so far--but for the most part, jokes and stories about infidelity are still taboo in our house.


Posts: 695 | Registered: Aug 2005
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FNF, Lost Soul, & the other newbies...

HB - I don't know if you meant to include me with the newbies but actually I've been around a while. Sometimes though, when I read something that sets me off, I'm sure I don't sound like an old hat at this. I just can't believe how insensitive some people can be.
I'm so sorry that you lost your beautiful baby boy. I truly cannot imagine anything more heartbreaking than that. (((HB)))
FSA - I hope all went well today. I think if I had to go to the dinner and she said anything even remotely triggery, she'd be wearing anything left on my plate. Let us know how things went.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

25Wimsey - my H also had to use the little blue pill with the OW. I mean, really, what was the point?
It wasn't like he had any more luck with her than with me. In fact, it was probably his guilt and if he just quit early on, maybe we could have gotten "our groove back." Instead, he kept it up (not literally - or literally with V )
for years and now he can only perform with it. I think all of us suffer with the questions about whether or not we are enough for them but truthfully, after 33 years of M, I'm not always turned on by him either, especially knowing now what I know. I have to psyche myself up too and that's without any assistance from a little blue pill. A friend asked me a few months back how I could continue to have sex with him after d-day. I told her I didn't believe we could R if we didn't try to work on our sex life and I truly believe that. I think it's naive to believe that after so many years of M we are going to have the same hot, passionate sex that we had in the early years of our M. That's what makes me so angry about the whole situation. At what point do they wake up and realize that sex shouldn't have to be hot and heavy to be beautiful. My MC asked me a couple of weeks ago if my H ever held or stroked my face while making love to me. Sadly, I had to say no. I think this speaks volumes about how some men think of sex vs. the way I think most women want sex, IMHO. And I think for the LTA S's, it's the transition from hot and heavy to intimate and loving that they can't handle and what ultimately leads them to keep searching for the quick and easy.

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 2:33 PM, November 24th (Saturday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FNF,
Actually I see our ddays were pretty close- end of 2005. Alrighty, I stand corrected and will refer to proudly as a veteran here

Hugs to all,
HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
Going To Make It
♀ Member
Member # 17010
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You gals are the greatest! Thanks so much. I have nothing to lose, so I can now be myself for the first time in 3.5 years. Screw anyone who doesn't like it.


BW 47
M 1982 4 Adult Children
2 Grandkids - the light & loves of my life.
LTA Started before we were married and lsted until 9/02 DDay 4/4/04, TT till 9/24/2011

Posts: 948 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Still Wandering in the Desert
Zolotas
♀ Member
Member # 15271
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Tribe...

I've been busy but lurking, reading..thought I'd drop by to say "HI".

Welcome Going to Make It...sorry you have to be here..but like others have said, you're in good and safe caring company here. Lots of good wisdom from the members.

Just a few comments.

The off color jokes about infidelity and cheaters..big ass NO-NO in my house..even my husb doesn't think they're funny. Anyone that knows and still sends those jokes to you FSA certainly aren't friends or decent relatives..ugh! A little off topic here..but, a few weeks after d-day, when I was really losing it, I confided in a friend..someone I totally trusted. I needed some support so bad, someone to talk to. I went to this friend, she took it all in, blah blah blah...two days later she calls in a huge hurry telling me to watch the Oprah show and then said she had to go and hung up. I turned on Oprah...the theme that day "Seven Cheating Husbands Confess"... Now seriously, why would anyone tell someone that was hurting and suicidal to watch a program with the cheaters confessing,,why on earth would a friend think I would want to relive that?..No friend of mine!! That was the last time I spoke to her.
It wasn't a thought provoking show, or an educational show, it was complete entertainment for people that have not been through this horrible experience. I realized right then that this so called friend was reckless with my feelings, careless in her own thoughts and a real friend wouldn't have done this. A real friend would have protected me and supported me.

As for the discussion on the ED. I found this interesting. My husb never had that problem, except with Slut Monkey. He confessed to me that she used to get really upset that he had problems at times with her, that she took it personal. He also had health issues in which he never had before..like indigestion to the point of taking meds for it for a couple of years. I truly believe it was guilt doing this. Since he confessed on d-day, he has not taken any meds for indigestion, and hasn't had a problem with ED either.

FSA, congrats on your DD wedding. Glad it all went well. I'm glad to know you enjoyed yourself...a nice "mind vacation" from this LTA crap.

I'm almost 3 yrs out..I just wonder if all of this will leave my mind. It always there..I admit that I cope okay now..I have my moments, still have my tears. I trust again which is a big one for me..I honestly trust him. My marriage is good..very good..but I still have my moments of complete sadness. I also realize that since returning to work..I hadn't worked in over 3 yrs, that my patience is zero! I notice that I get easily agitated when things don't go right, almost to the point of being emotional. I try desperately to maintain and when things get too bad, I leave my office and go outside for air. It's almost like an anxiety attack. I am most definitely a changed woman from all of this.

I hope the rest of your weekend is peaceful and good.

Hugs to all of you...keep moving forward.

Zolotas


Posts: 339 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: On my chair
25wimsey
♀ Member
Member # 7816
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Z, funny I was thinking about something along that line just today. I don't think we will ever be without "it" somewhere in our minds. I too cope, have my moments, still have discussions with H, and am acutely aware of the past at all times--and I do think it's cuz I'm a changed person. Not only stuff that you wrote about, but other things for me as well--cynicism, impatience with petty troubles others complain about, lack of interest in a lot of things I was interested in before, general mistrust of good intentions in people--stuff like that.

I'm learning to live with all that, and it's a price to pay for living and having my life happen to me the way it did. What I'm really hoping will change is the undercurrent of sadness, mostly over the things I'll never have--a H who was only mine and who was satisfied with our M through thick and thin. That sort of thing. I know a lot of people live with some depression and sadness all the time--but I didn't have that personality, and now I do, and I'm finding it difficult to live with. I have much more empathy with those who suffer from clinical depression now--suppose that's a good thing. But it's tough.


Posts: 695 | Registered: Aug 2005
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, November 24th (Saturday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I made it through the day. But the day totally sucked. SIL lives in the same town as snaggletooth bitch. Just knowing that I was remotely close to her made me sick to my stomach. Of course SIL said nothing out of the way. She's really nice and would not do something to me on purpose. But I know that she could never understand from my shoes. Like I said earlier she is M to a man that she was the OW with for years. H got a call out (job related, remember he's a cop) and had to leave. Made me real triggery b/c we were in ow bitch's territory. I'm still pretty pissed about that. I know the call was for real, it's just the thought that b/c of his LTA I have to be trigger over nothing.
Just a sucky day!!!!

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
Going To Make It
♀ Member
Member # 17010
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, November 25th (Sunday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why does it bother me that she was better sexually (he's told me so) & why don't I feel better now that his attention is focused 100% me?

Just another rough day for me


BW 47
M 1982 4 Adult Children
2 Grandkids - the light & loves of my life.
LTA Started before we were married and lsted until 9/02 DDay 4/4/04, TT till 9/24/2011

Posts: 948 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Still Wandering in the Desert
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, November 25th (Sunday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Going to Make It,

Why in the *insert cuss word* did your H EVER tell you the OW was better sexually than YOU if he wanted to R with you? IMHO that is downright cruel.

Sex with the OW is just different than with the wife. The thrill, excitement of getting caught, a newness ,etc. What your H SHOULD have told you is that there is NO way to compare the two. That's the God's honest truth, sweetie. And really and truly there is no comparison of cheap, dirty sex of an A with the spiritual and physical connection of two people who are truly committed to one another on more than a sexual level.

Did you ever tell your H how YOU rated him sexually? Did you tell him how he could have helped you, as his partner, become more sexually in tune with him?

YOU did nothing wrong, my friend. Do NOT let your H's comments rip at your self-esteem here more than the discovery of the LTA already has. Sex is two people. He had his part in it, too, not just you. And going OUTSIDE the M is no way to solve any problems in the sex department. My H complained that I didn't have sex with him a lot pre-A and I didn't realize that was tied to his self-esteem. The OW was always, and I mean always, ready and willing. Part of her own insecurities that she couldn't say no. Anyway, that was the lure for him. Was she better in bed than I? In some ways yes, in some ways no. She was more willing & that's about IT.

Today, I want you to try to remember all the great things about YOU. Make a list here if you want and we can all validate you!

I'm on the way out to a long trip but will check back on you later.

HUGS,
HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
Zolotas
♀ Member
Member # 15271
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, November 25th (Sunday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Going to Make It,
Why does it bother me that she was better sexually (he's told me so) & why don't I feel better now that his attention is focused 100% me?

It bothers you because it is a horrible blow to your self esteem and your spirit..and you still don't feel better now that he has focused his attention on you 100% because what he said to you cut you to the core and one can't take back words..not even with his good actions.

Look past what the Slut Monkey offered him...it was sex and it was the only thing she could offer him. Realize how pathetic is must be to get a man and keep him by being a Slut Monkey tramp...you have more to offer in every way...you have morals, ethics, and you are genuine in your heart and spirit...on the other hand, she is emotionally bankrupt, disgusting and a conniving POS loser that can't get her own man, nor can she ever have a healthy 'real' relationship.

Sorry, I don't know your entire story..I've been lurking and reading off and on this week...however, it took me 2 long and painful years to look past the Slut Monkey, to be indifferent to her and to realize she was nothing and is still nothing and will be nothing forever.

I told her to her face, she couldn't get and keep a man with her looks, her charm, her personality, her intelligence...she didn't have any of those things..she only got a man, and someones elses man because she was cheap and easy...sucks to be her!

In any case, I am sorry you are feeling down right now...it will get better..bit by bit..keep going forward.

Hugs,
Zolotas


Posts: 339 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: On my chair
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