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Newest Member: iknowiwillbeok (43219)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affairs -V I I
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, December 10th (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow NAS, glad to see you. Hate you've been on a low, but we always find our way back up. We are strong. We are woman. We are the LTA Tribe.

NMS, so let's just think about this holly shit for a few minutes here.

How about we combine holly shit with Frosty????

Holly the whore bitch
Was a mighty nasty slut
With a corn cob up her ass
And a butt ugly face
And two eyes cold as snow

Ho Holly the whore bitch
Was a mighty nasty slut
And the children knew
What she was when they saw her

It must have been some nasty shit
That she wanted to pass around
For when she did it was hell on earth
And she passed it all around

Ho Holly the whore bitch
What a mighty nasty slut
With a corn cob up her ass
And a butt ugly face
And two eyes cold as snow

How was that?

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
no mor surprises
♀ Member
Member # 7678
Default  Posted: 11:19 PM, December 10th (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fsa, you missed your calling. You need to be s songwriter. Do you also sing?

A HUGE welecome back to numb and scared. I really missed you. I am happy that you and h are working as a team. the two of you have had much to contend with. Don't fret set backs, they happen, hopefull less and less as time goes on.


Posts: 1768 | Registered: Jul 2005
runoverbytruck
♀ Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 1:40 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((((((numb)))))))))))

I've missed you very much. I'm so glad you're back. I'm sorry to hear you experienced such a low point, but hope that coming here helps you. Your coming here helps me!


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 6:09 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to be s songwriter. Do you also sing?

Another one of those that couldn't be further from the truth. I've been trying to get up enough courage to sing a special at church, but I'm not any closer to doing it today than I was a couple of months ago.

Another busy day ahead of me. Hope everyone has a great day.

Lost, where you at this morning? For the longest I would get up in the morning and check to see what you had to say through the night. We would have coffee together.

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Re: WS loving OW. Of course my H had to say he had no feelings, but he was still texting her to not worry, everything would be ok, etc even after he’d confessed to me! And there was that business of asking her to marry him … while being married to me. And then there’s the poetry, sickeningly explicit about his feelings for her. Of course he loved her, but eventually she became too demanding, wanting more, threatening to tell me. Get this – we even considered emigrating in 2004, he went for interviews while we were over there. Means of escape, he said!! And what if I’d found out after we’d moved thousands of miles? Why didn’t he just tell her? What a weak and shallow bastard. And what is it with these stupid OW’s? Do they really believe it’s just a question of time before they get the fairy-tale ending?

NMS. What a horrid time of year for you. But it’s a prickly bush and the berries can be poisonous, so maybe the name’s apt! How many of us have to deal with OW’s name coming up in every day stuff? For me it’s rosemary (pick it out of food), rose (his name for her, so he can’t buy them for me now), rosie (another pet name for her), rosary, rosebud, rose-tinted, I could go on … Oh, and she shares her name with v close girlfriend of mine who wasn’t too happy! Anyone else care to share?

FSA – I’ll be humming the rest of the day!!
LostH – you doing better today?


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How many of us have to deal with OW’s name coming up in every day stuff?
One of my DD just M. And now she shares the same last name with snaggletooth bitch. It is spelled with one letter difference, but it's the same name. If I try real hard I can make a slight difference. F her. I hate that bitch. Not my DD. Snaggletooth!!!!!!


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
25wimsey
♀ Member
Member # 7816
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Means of escape, he said!! And what if I’d found out after we’d moved thousands of miles? Why didn’t he just tell her? What a weak and shallow bastard. And what is it with these stupid OW’s? Do they really believe it’s just a question of time before they get the fairy-tale ending?


Amen, UK! We actually have moved 3000 miles. The whole process of getting the new job, etc., which took about a year and a half, took place while they were "discussing" the fact that he was indeed going to move with his wife and their R would end. Also after two breakups and returns to her. H also said that the move, while something we both wanted, was what he thought would be a good vehicle for the end of their A--sort of an easing out of it. What stupid thinking.

Funny, but he got a conscience after she got pg, confessed the whole sordid mess, cuz he didn't think it was fair to have me make such a big move without knowing about the kid. H really did think he could make the break from her without me ever finding out--except for the pregnancy. His thinking really was alien during that infidelity.

I'll never really understand either of their thinking, but continue to work to understand H's--hers I don't care about.


Posts: 695 | Registered: Aug 2005
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Numb,

How good to see you! I've wondered how you were doing.

It's funny how at times of deep stress the LTA pops into consciousness. I'm hoping that will eventually stop, but man it really throws you for a loop, doesn't it?


Lost, I know how hard it is to hear that. For me, it was very difficult to hear, and also difficult to hear that my FOO was abusive. I had spent a lifetime claiming exactly the opposite and, I'm chagrined to admit, looking down on abused people as weak and pitiful.

It hurts, but breaking the denial is the first step to changing your life. If you aren't willing to see and accept things as they are, you can't take the proper steps to identify what needs to be changed and change them.

You'll make it through this, and when you do, you will be so much happier.

BT


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
Going To Make It
♀ Member
Member # 17010
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How many of us have to deal with OW’s name coming up in every day stuff?

::Waving my arms about smartly"

I can't pick up shells when I'm walking on the beach and I refuse to make stuffed shells for dinner. What is hardest for me is my daughter was born on the same day as her on a side note, dd#2 also shares a birthday with my bio sister.

He brought home a doz roses today from his business trip. They are beautiful and very fragrant. I think it's only the thrid time he has done that since we've been together.


BW 47
M 1982 4 Adult Children
2 Grandkids - the light & loves of my life.
LTA Started before we were married and lsted until 9/02 DDay 4/4/04, TT till 9/24/2011

Posts: 948 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Still Wandering in the Desert
unabletocope
♀ Member
Member # 11730
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome back NAS! I'm so sorry the last few months have been so rough and brought you back to such an emotionally bad place.

I look at people...at couples..and wonder who is the liar...who is the cheater...who is getting away with it with the sham and "pretending" to be real??
I wonder which one of them is being lied to and demoralized and think how horrible will it be for them when they have to find out...and as we all here know...they will find out.

I do this all of the time. All. of. the. time. I hate being so cynical about relationships, and I hate WH for making me this way.

Going to Make it- Flowers!
I hoped those brightened your day!

[This message edited by unabletocope at 10:49 AM, December 11th (Tuesday)]


me-LTA BW


Posts: 2598 | Registered: Aug 2006
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's funny how at times of deep stress the LTA pops into consciousness. I'm hoping that will eventually stop, but man it really throws you for a loop, doesn't it?

Hi BT,

Yes it does....god, how it does and the biggest shock and outrage is that it CAN.....even after almost two years.

fsa, you know you could make a nice living writing jingles and songs for all occasions. Hallmark or the like.....??
Or maybe even go into legit song-writing...you are very talented.

utc, it really sucks to suspect that every couple has the makings of lies and deceit.
I used to love to see couples displaying affection. Now I do the instinctive wondering about who is the cheater...OR...
I wonder if I am really looking at a WS and an OP...pretending to be real.

Yep.....a more subtle but nasty and lasting gift of being the betrayed in adultery.


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((25wimsey))). I read your post about your trip so your H could visit OC. I was agape when I read it a few days ago. I really don’t think I could bear to be with some one who not only did that to me, but who then felt some kind of “responsibility” to associate with the offspring, thereby renewing a relationship with OW. My immediate thought was “it’d be me or the kid”, but then I’ve no doubt we all said how it would be a march to the divorce courts if our spouses were unfaithful. And yet we find ourselves here, looking for something worthwhile to hold on to. And I see you also have posts in OC thread. I certainly take my hat off to you, wimsey, you are one big-hearted woman. As to the alien thinking, I’ve described my H as living a “Sliding Doors” life, as in the film. Two lives, completely separate, yet running parallel. For it to stop, it had to end with a death (of sorts). KWIM? But for you, sounds like it's going on forever.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 11:02 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fsa, you know you could make a nice living writing jingles and songs for all occasions.
My H and I are looking real serious at buying a new house, which I NEED desperately. I told him if I had to, that I would take on an evening job flipping burgers if I had to, to pay the note. Maybe I need to look into jingle writing over flipping burgers. I just wonder who could appreciate my kind of ow humor.
Start my own line of BS novelity shop stores. Anything and everything a BS could ever want. I could come up with some real good ideas on that one. I think my first item on the market would be a male chastity belt. And goodness knows it would be ever so painful to wear.

Seriously, I might should consider taking my time and do some writing of some kind. When I do these on SI, I honestly just shoot from the hip. I sit down and 5 minutes later I submit the first things that came to my mind. I've been interested in the past in writing children's books. Maybe if I really applied myself I might could come up with something. Hummmmmmm.

thanks though

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ha! How about a little beeping alarm that goes off every time a lie passes his lips?


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not in my house. The beeping would drive me over the edge!!!!!! If I put a beeper on his mouth it will have to come with a zipper for his lips.


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Better yet, let's give them an electric shock everytime they lie. Alot quieter. And alot more fun to watch.


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To my new-found support group, LTA tribe. Some opinions about a proposed letter to OWH please. I expect this issue has been mulled over many, many times in SI. It’s just been bugging me for months now, I think I’m gonna have to do it, just for peace of mind.

“Dear OWH, This has been an extraordinarily difficult letter to write. It is to tell you about an affair between your wife, OW, and my husband, WH, that you may or may not know about. It lasted for five years and is over.”

I then give a factual outline of the A with some dates, one paragraph only.

“Why am I telling you now, 17 months later? Because there have been no more revelations for me since last August. This time has allowed me to analyse what has happened to me, to WH and to my marriage and to deal with things in a calmer light. Previously, I was unable to cope with the thought of any possible fall out from you, or her, or your family. I write because I know that if our roles were reversed, I would feel doubly betrayed if you kept the knowledge of infidelity from me and allowed me to continue living with such a deceit.

I realise this letter could be the samurai sword dealing a fatal blow to your own marriage and I am truly sorry for any grief, heartache and soul searching you may have to endure. This is not a letter based on revenge or spite, but a need to bring in the last member of this quartet; I have a sense of empathy with you as the other aggrieved party. I still have moments of despair but I think I have sufficient emotional strength to deal with any ramifications of this communication.

BS
Mobile no”

I left the “samaurai” bit in, I like the image of slicing her head off!


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Steelergal
♀ Member
Member # 13113
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Everytime I hear "Deck the Halls", I change it to deck the halls with bowels of Holly (her name)

I can relate. Christmas Carol has a hole new meaning for me.

I look at people...at couples..and wonder who is the liar...who is the cheater...who is getting away with it with the sham and "pretending" to be real?? I wonder which one of them is being lied to and demoralized and think how horrible will it be for them when they have to find out...and as we all here know...they will find out.

I do this too particularly to couples that appear to be so outwardly happy. I can't help, but wonder if they really are. Sad.


Posts: 701 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: No Cal
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good evening all.

I did log in this morning FSA, but just didnt know what to say. Rather, I didnt know how to say it. Its like I have all these thoughts and words and feelings swirling around in my head, that if I give voice to them, I will drown.
Also, I dont think I am in any state to be of help to anyone.

Something IC said that struck a chord in me (apart from the "You are an abused woman")so deep, that it is still quivering. She said that I "present well". I can talk, act and behave like I am ok, tough, capable etc. But inside I am a mess. I have used that strategy to survive.

I guess I AM a big fake.

To all of you who are struggling now, HUGE HUGS!


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Steelergal
♀ Member
Member # 13113
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, December 11th (Tuesday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that letter sounds good, UK. It is concise.

Posts: 701 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: No Cal
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