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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affairs -V I I
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, December 13th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All caught up.

Welcome to the newbies!!!

For whatever reason, I'm feeling great!!!

IC told me yesterday..... You are doing sooooo good for what you have been faced with. You know your strengths and weaknesses and what you need to overcome. She thinks that taking a new job might be helpful to me. Hummm. New surroundings, new schedule, new life somewhat. Hummm. Maybe this is a new door that God has opened for me to step through. Hummmm.

But I'm feeling great today, and I'm going to ride with it.

FSA



Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
no mor surprises
♀ Member
Member # 7678
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, December 13th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

for fsa!!!!!

Posts: 1768 | Registered: Jul 2005
no mor surprises
♀ Member
Member # 7678
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, December 13th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((abletocope))))

You are soooo BEAUTIFUl

So many will find joy b/c of your thoughtfulness!!!!!

And arn't 3 year olds the cutest when all bundled up in their snowsuits!!!!!!

Bless you, bless you


Posts: 1768 | Registered: Jul 2005
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, December 13th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA, when do you have to let them know?

It is a big decision,but like you said, it could be a new door opening.Have to say though having more time for yourself sounds pretty tempting!


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, December 13th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go for it FSA!!! New, new, new sounds good, good, good! And work less? I'm ALL for that!!! Sounds like this is your chance to stretch your wings and use the intelligence and possibly the creativity you have. You're one bright cookie FSA and so why don't you show the world whatcha got? And working three days a week could free up your time to write that children's book like you were just talking about!!!!

unABLE - So glad to hear more from you and REALLY glad to hear about the joyful day you had with your little one. Hopefully the holidays will provide a little more of that for you. Stop lurking so much! We miss ya!

Lost - You may be just at the beginning and have a ways to go, but you're a quick study. I suspect you'll be seeing rays of hope come through as you continue to do this work. I SOOOO admire you for having the courage to do this. It isn't for those with a weak spirit!

No mor - forgot to tell you I loved your song the other day. Looks like we're brimming with talent here at LTA corner!!!

Ok - I'm off for some more holiday mahem!


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
unabletocope
♀ Member
Member # 11730
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, December 13th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA- it sounds like at great chance to keep moving forward. And you really doing GREAT!

no mor- yes, 3 year olds bundled up are the cutest! And speaking of snowsuits, I just discovered that the coat I bought for my 3 y.o. angel boy came with a snowsuit too! I didn't notice it hung up inside the coat at the store! This is like Christmas for ME to give even more. I LOVE being able to do this for other people!


me-LTA BW


Posts: 2598 | Registered: Aug 2006
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, December 13th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost - your IC sounds wonderful. I am so glad you found her. My H has what our MC called a "strikingly bad" FOO and, hence, the issues that led to the As. Anyway, he has times in his IC when he comes across issues that are very painful to confront about himself and his upbringing. He told me his IC tells him to imagine holding the issue in his hand, turning it around and looking at it from the outside. Think about it and decide that it is no longer part of you. I thought I would share that with you as it seems to really help him.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, December 13th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the support and advice.

Made through another day.Yay.

Goodnight All.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, December 13th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LostH, (EDMR? Wassat?)
You’re making bullet points again ….. Stop giving yourself targets!! Think of it as a healing process – one step at a time. Slowly, slowly. Don’t rush yourself. Move into that place before looking to the next one. You do not want to give yourself a 5-yr time plan!! You sound like you need one place to call yours. A “room”. I have a diary that I started 2 days after DDay. I felt I had to get some grip on my emotions. I gave it a password so H could not read it. I thought I’d finished with it after a couple of months and I let him read it. Then I found out when they were still in contact. Aarrghh! I started again and he read the next one when I left it open over Christmas last year. Big mistake. He has not been allowed to read anything since. It’s like wearing my skin inside out with all those nerve endings on show. And as to that OWH letter? Doesn’t matter. His problem. Their problem. Who gives a sh*t?

(un)able. So, so lovely. Actually, anything under about 7 is cute. But that 18mth to about 4 is just so sweet. And they take everything at face value. How great is that? I’ve had some truly memorable Christmas visits with the boys when they were little. Including Clearwell Caves with the little (coal)trucks to take us down to Santa’s grotto.

FSA – decisions, decisions!! At least these days you can say “go with what I want right now”. What does it matter? Everything pales into insignificance when dealing with our issues. Work to live, not live to work. Life. Happiness. Health. That’s all that matters.

This is a quote that my H’s auntie always says when raising a glass:

Here’s to all those that I love,
Here’s to all those who love me,
Here’s to all those who love those that I love
And here’s to all those who love those that love me.

No idea where it comes from, but it says it all really. I have it pinned to my drinks cupboard.

Any other useful quotes/mantras for use in times of stress?


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 6:09 AM, December 14th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tribe:

Hate to come with my hand out for prayers and good thoughts again, but I take my GREs this a.m. and could use all the help I can get. Especially on the math. Hard to believe how much of it I have completely forgotten.


Lost:

Sounds like OW's H and his wife are perfectly matched. Poor guy.


FSA:

Do you like the people you would be working with at the new job? If so, I'd say to take it.


BT


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 7:11 AM, December 14th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BT .... good vibes coming your way>>>>>>> and here are the math vibes +-x+-x+-x+-x Good luck


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, December 14th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BT ..... Thinking of you. Assuming GRE's are exams. Take LTA tribe as your mascot, we're here to help!! May all your equations be the right ones. Vibes across the water >>>>>>


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, December 14th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BT - Full force vibes coming to you! Keep your nerves at bay and let the answers come to you. I found struggling for the answers always kept them from me in some way. Math was my worst subject. I don't envy you!


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, December 14th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BT, hope I am not too late.
All the best for today's paper. Math!Yuck.

UKgirl, EMDR is a type of pyschotherapy treatment used to alleviate stress associated with traumatic memories.Its used quite successfully with people with PTSD. We have just started, so still have some ways to go.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, December 14th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BT - Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Very brave! I really wanted to pursue my master's but the idea of doing this really rattled me. The math section would terrify me too. My last math class was a statistics class (which I happened to love) but I'm not sure that I could handle the rest of it after so many years. Kudos to your bravery!
Keep us posted!


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
no mor surprises
♀ Member
Member # 7678
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, December 14th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tomorrow, early, I take the long drive down to Fl. and will have no access to a computer for a few weeks.

I wish all a very Merry Christmas and a bright Solstice.

I know that this holiday season will be hard expecially for the newbies. Do lots of good things for yourself. You will get through this and don't despair if this season is not at it's best.

Hugs and blessings to all.


Posts: 1768 | Registered: Jul 2005
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, December 14th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have a lovely holiday no mor!!! And soak up a few rays of that lovely Florida sun for me (shivering my ass off in Chicago). We'll miss ya.


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, December 14th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy holidays No Mor!!
And also to others who wont be having access to a PC over the holidays.

Hope its a time of peace and joy and contentment and strength for us all.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
unabletocope
♀ Member
Member # 11730
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, December 14th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good luck, BT!!

We'll miss you, no mor! Have fun in sunny Florida. I'm ssssoooooooo jealous!


me-LTA BW


Posts: 2598 | Registered: Aug 2006
runoverbytruck
♀ Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, December 14th (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Best of luck to you, BT!!!

no mor...we'll miss you! Happy Holidays!


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
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