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User Topic: Long Term Affairs -V I I
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, December 20th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For OTC:

"Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is fine."

Hey, he's entitled to feel "left out" if that's how he felt. That he didn't do anything about it.. now that's HIS issue.

But good news. I went to the music store to check out the amp and the one online is a much better deal. Called H and reported what I know.. he said, just put in the online order and we'll wrap up a picture if it doesn't come on time! Yea! Guess it WAS my insecurity talking earlier. I'm done, finally, done all my shopping. Things will be slim, but at least I feel like I did some good for both of them.

Doesn't look like I'm going to learn how to make stromboli though... they started hours ago. Oh well.

BT

am not saying what you feel is right, but what you think is right.

Unfortunately I act emotionally based. My heart leads, the head follows. Can't seem to make them switch places...


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, December 20th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OTC - think it is almost 3 your time so I am chanting for you now.....(OTC, OTC, OTC, OTC, OTC....)


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, December 20th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My God OTC. What a hell hole you are in. Thoughts and healing energies winging their way to you. (((((OTC)))))

Weepy, if he is sticking his fingers in his ears and goint lah, lah, lah, thereís not much you can do. So, so sorry. It seems to me that our WSís have dealt with or are dealing with the issues in their own (often sad and negative) ways, but they are not owning up to them. Itís so hard for us because we have some idea of what they need to do. My FWH is trying, Iíll give him that. My problem is still the emotional entanglement he had with xGF/fiancťe and that, somehow, it was inevitable. And, because of that, mostly I think I should have chucked him out. It may still happen. And thereís the usual of thinking he was wanting to be with her, Christmas, New Year and all of that. F*ck him. Sorry, Iím rambling again.

Well, see you all in a week. FWH, #4 son and I are flying out to Egypt for Christmas. We are going with FWHís BF and his lovely W, who has been brilliant with my going on and on and on. I think thereíll be 16 or 18 of us in all, so should be a good time. And a bit different to last year, which passed by in a blur. When I booked it, I thought, well, if we donít work out, one of us would go with #4 son and the other stay at home. But this is good. Positive. So there are sons 1&2 to ring, son3 at home with GF and parents on Xmas day. Time zones. My headís so f*cked right now.

So, love you all the LTA tribe, keep those chins up, the smiles on and enjoy the good moments. Gonna miss you. See you after 28th. Hope we're still in R.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
zanny
♀ Member
Member # 13183
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, December 20th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OTC: Chant, chant, chant. Do keep us updated when you return.

Shirley: You made me laugh!! Very funny.

Joe: Glad to see you are working on little Pikesters. You know, I am a long way from being a grandma, but I love kids. I esp. love watching kids go from being a little gleam in someone's eye to the real thing. I am SO happy that this woman you are dating is lovely. You deserve the best...you know that, don't you??

Weepy: Your H is beeing a booboobutthead. Geez, if he can squeeze the fun out, he goes for it. Good for you buying some useless worthless thing. Years ago, I was up in the middle of the night watching the home shopping network...something I NEVER do....this was the only time. Of course, there was an infomercial for a food dehydrator. Well, after 30 minutes of this, I was convinced that a food dehydrator would solve all of my problems...think of how happy my family would be with applesauce converted into fruit rollups and homemade beef jerky. I ordered it in the middle of the night. Forgot about it. 10 days later...a HUGE package is at my door.

Mind you, I cook, but preparing dried foods is a little bit over the top. I mean, maybe if I was married to a survivalist (he is now, after this friggin LTA)..you know what I mean.

Anyway, I cart this food dehydrator through every move. I have had it 15 years and I have used it twice. So, your nail kit, has a far better shot at being used than the food dehydrator!!


BS-Me
WS-Him
D-day #1 LTA
False Reconciliation then
D-day #2
In reconciliation


"Just when the caterpillar thought it was over, she became a butterfly."


Posts: 573 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: The Middle of Somewhere
bkewidow
♀ Member
Member # 14205
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, December 20th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just what constitutes 'long term' anyway???

J


DDay: 3/30/07
Married 14 years, together 16
One kid; mine, Three kids; ours
DDay 2 - Oct. 2007
Confirmed OW1 (from 8 yrs ago)

Women might be able to fake an orgasm, but apparently my husband could fake an entire relationship.


Posts: 4351 | Registered: Apr 2007
Steelergal
♀ Member
Member # 13113
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, December 20th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it had been decided that a duration of two or more years is LTA, bkewidow.

Happy Holidays, ((LTA Tribe))! I wish you all a healthy (good luck, OTC), peaceful and hopefully happy 2008!


Posts: 701 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: No Cal
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, December 20th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi All,
Thanks for the tribal chants. Encouraging news. From a regular exam (microscopic - and don't ask how they get the microscope up there. HA!) the doc decided to hold off on the biopsy because everything looked good. So she did another standard PAP and if that comes out clean I just have to keep going to PAPs every three mos. until I no longer have the virus. That could take a couple of years and there's a chance of recurrence the whole time I carry the virus though, but unlikely if this PAP comes out clean. Sooooooo, looks good so far. Will keep you informed about the PAP. Now, if all of you could do your part to keep the rate of infidelity down, educate men and boys that they are carriers of it and it can be transmitted EVEN when using a condom. That ought to scare the crap out of 'em and may just keep a few flys zipped up! H stayed home from work today and came with. It's been really hard looking at the guilt and shame in his eyes again this strongly. Oh well. The consequences I guess. Thanks all for your well wishes, chants and prayers. I think they worked!!!


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, December 20th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just chiming in here to say Happy Holidays to everyone on this Board. It seems like I've been here *forever* (i SAY with a fondness in my heart for you guys but disgust still at my FWH).

But to the newbies in particular, I wanted to say there is light at the end of the abyss and darkness.

2 years ago at Christmas I couldn't pick myself up off the floor. I barely got any shopping done for the kids. I sent out no cards, didn't have the energy. I refused to go to my family's house for xmas day for various reasons. I had no joy, my favorite time of year was ruined by dday earlier that year. I knew nothing other than depression, and that was on the meds. I didn't know if I really even loved my H anymore, not after he could do something like an LTA.

1 year ago at Christmas I began to come alive. I sent out Christmas cards again and did an OK job at shopping for the kids. I still worried about FWH and his wayward ways, if they would come back and crash my world again.

THIS YEAR at Christmas, I got my shopping done about a month early. I had a joy and spark in my heart and soul. I really DO love my H again, something that just *recently* happened. Yes, he'd been doing the right things, but only time and accountability and *my* starting to heal really moved our R forward. I am blessed with my children, and I can be joyful at the holidays again. I even am room mom for my oldest child and *planning* their parties!

If I had not had a good IC AND this Board, I never would have made it past divorcing H at first chance and possibly never healing.

So to all the veterans here, I really do love you all... each of you contributes something of value to this Board. To all the newbies, I hope my sharing has helped you in some small way to have hope. And to realize that we are all a "family" on this Board and look out for one another, even if it means being brutally honest.

I hope 2008 brings us all happiness and continued healing.

Heartbroken


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, December 20th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YEAH OTC!!! That's great news. Keep up us on the dates and we will all send positive energy your way.


Your H is beeing a booboobutthead
Zanny, this would should go in the hall of fame (if there were such a thing )

My H was a booboobutthead tonight...nothing A related just the usual selfish shit that drives me nuts. Went to my company party (cocktails), bought a simple meal for the older kids to prepare, came home and the shitheads had eaten everything. HMMMM....mom doesn't need food she is a f*cking robot ? I do not blame the girls at all as they made a huge effort but what does he say "X said you wouldn't need to eat". Okay, she is 14 f*cking years old, maybe YOU should take the lead on this. So 2 glasses of wine later and one small appetizer I am raging mad at his selfishness again.

E: b/c I can't type.

[This message edited by hurtshirley at 6:30 PM, December 20th (Thursday)]


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
snowbaby796
♀ Member
Member # 13882
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, December 20th (Thursday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OTC i'm so glad you got some good news today.


"Betrayal of yourself is still betrayal nonetheless, it is the highest betrayal" Neale Donald Walsch
"State the obvious I didn't get my perfect fantasy I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me" Taylor Swift

Posts: 563 | Registered: Mar 2007
25wimsey
♀ Member
Member # 7816
Default  Posted: 12:40 AM, December 21st (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OTC, great news!! So happy for you.

Hugs to all--I've been reading but don't have the energy to post replies to you all. So many sad stories and situations, with a few good ones thrown in!

Things are so-so here--had our 31st wedding anniversary yesterday--went out to dinner with friends, but H had forgotten the actual day--not too good for my spirits, but he's making up for it today :)

He IC is ill and unable to see clients for awhile, so H is down about that, and I'm worried he'll just stop trying to figure out himself and how and why he could do what he did. I hope the therapist makes a full and speedy recovery, for my, his, and her own sake!

Sort of looking forward to next week and the holiday celebrations--all kids will be here with SO's, and I'm trying to get into the spirit. Once I get started on doing something, like decorating, I'm okay--it's just getting that first move started. Still haven't written more than 5 cards.

But I took a nice hike today, beautiful day, sun shining, and seeing this beautiful state is the only thing that is uplifting and a constant for me.

Happy holidays to all and lots of good vibes to all LTA folk.


Posts: 695 | Registered: Aug 2005
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, December 21st (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once again, it's just amazing to me that if you miss a few days you miss so many heartfelt and sometimes heartbreaking posts. Hugs to all who are having a difficult time this holiday season.
Weepy, I just wish for once your H would find even a minuscule speck of joy in that broken spirit of his that he could share with you. Don't let his negativity steal your joy this holiday season.
Lost Heart - sorry about that interview but I'm with the others who say that something better is meant to come along. I just know that something good is out there for you. You have all of us here cheering for you and THAT MEANS SOMETHING!
OTC - horrors - that's all I can say except that I am so happy for you that everything is looking good now. I too had a scare because the OW (who I knew for years and thought was my friend) had a cervical cauterization around 15 years ago (for what I think must have been for HPV) so when I discovered that it was her who my H was f---ing, I was terrified that she had passed it on to me. I guess the cauterization worked since my results came back clean. I also had the whole battery of STD testing and that alone was so humiliating and added to my anger issues. Please let us know how your PAP results are. You know we "have your back."
Hearbroken - I absolutely loved your message. I am right there with you. I loved this season too much to let my H's LTA destroy my favorite time of year even though this time is my d-day anniversary :( I have so much in life to be thankful for and that's what I choose to stay focused on. Thanks for sharing your incredibly inspiring story.
UKGirl - Egypt - now that's exciting! I have always wanted to go there. I will be so anxious to hear all about your trip when you get back. Please share at least some of the highlights.
Hugs to 25 Wimsey, JoePike, HurtShirley and all the other wonderful members here.
Let's all try to enjoy this special time of year. I'll be thinking of each of you as I raise my glass on Christmas day. And for those celebrating Chanukah or other holidays, I wish you all a wonderful holiday season.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
runoverbytruck
♀ Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, December 21st (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((((((((OTC))))))))))))))

Hoping for a normal pap for you. I'm just so sorry you have to deal with this last piece. You are doing so well, and this little tidbit keeps popping up trying to shove you into the hole. You show great strength resisting the hole and I admire you very much.

I have been keeping up here, but I've just been sooooo so busy these last few weeks. I got another job, had a few Christmas projects, as well as shopping and I've just been run ragged. I was a SAHM for so long--nothing is the same. My house has been a mess because apparently I'm the only one who sees it. These guys are just used to someone else doing it all for them, and I've not been able to lately. <<<sigh>>>

Anyhooooo--don't know if you all will be on the boards between now and the big day, so I wanted to send my most heartfelt holiday wishes and to let you all know that I will be thinking of each and every one of you. I could not have made it through the last year and a half without this place and all of the souls who have been just as lost as I've been. I truly owe my life to you all.

Please try and enjoy yourselves during the holiday--whatever you celebrate. Don't let your spouse's LTA taint the magic of the season. We are responsible for our own joy--and if we've learned nothing else through this--we need to take that responsibility very seriously because nobody else is as invested in us as we are. Inner peace and happiness is ours if we want it. It has nothing to do with our spouses or anyone else. We have the power, so--more power to you all.

Much, much love to the LTA tribe.

Merry Christmas.

run


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, December 21st (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Thanks Run)))))) and everyone else for your care and concern.
You show great strength resisting the hole
I just wish my H would have had the same strength in resisting the diseased hole! Sorry, just had to do this. I couldn't resist.

Big hugs to you Run. Have a wonderful holiday!!!!


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, December 21st (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

25Wimsey... Belated Happy 31st Anniversary to you and your H.
OTC... Great News! Continued good health to you.
Please try and enjoy yourselves during the holiday--whatever you celebrate. Don't let your spouse's LTA taint the magic of the season. We are responsible for our own joy--and if we've learned nothing else through this--we need to take that responsibility very seriously because nobody else is as invested in us as we are. Inner peace and happiness is ours if we want it. It has nothing to do with our spouses or anyone else. We have the power, so--more power to you all.

Run, you are an inspiration.

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Celebrate in your heart whatever you choose.

In case the season keeps you from SI (my family will all be here - son and new wife staying with us) so PC time is at a premium for the next week or so.

My Christmas wish to all of you is for a very Merry Christmas and a happy and peaceful 2008. May all the good things in life find their way to your doorstep in 2008.


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
unabletocope
♀ Member
Member # 11730
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, December 21st (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday's to all. I hope everyone finds peace, if even for a moment, and that 2008 is a better year for us all.

OTC- I'm so glad for the great news!

UKgirl- you are on my dream vacation- Egypt at Christmas. Have a safe trip and let us know how it went.

25whimsey- Happy Anniversary!


me-LTA BW


Posts: 2598 | Registered: Aug 2006
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, December 21st (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mind if I join this horrible club?

I'm a bt intimidated by this group as you all seem so close fro the last few pages I read. But I surely belong her eif no where else, so here I am!

My Wh had a 4 1/2 year LTA affair with a coworker. He's a nurse and sheis a nurse tech who has worked on a different floor for the past year or so. He talked on the phone with ehr almost every day adn came home an hour or two late form work every weekend since he was out having sex at her house. She got divorced during the A.

I recently got phone records that confirm it started in Feb 2003. She was divorced in Feb 2004. He says they were seperated for a few months before it began but who knows. He remebers that detail but not a huge numebr of others. I, of course, am craving all the details.

I have to asmit, Wh has been trying. He immediately called her when I confronted him on dday and told her it was over. There was one email to his work email account a week later saying "where are you??" that he never told me about. When confronted about that last week he said e deleted it without opening and just forgt about it until I mentioned it. I think it's load of shot but who knows.

He did tell me when he got hang ups 3 weeks after dday adn then a call from her at work. Told me everything she said and then a week later his story hadn't changed, so I think it's tre.

He immediately got tested for STDs and made a MC appointmnt and tries to be more atentive and sped time with me. Had lovely HB at first adn now that has petered out, which is a probelm for me.

So he has mostly done everything I could ask in this horrid situation. But he fucked her for 4 1/2 years!! We hadn't had sex for the last 2, despite my trying and getting completely rejected.

Ijust don't knwo how to get ove rthe immensity of it all. Years of a relationship. Yers of memories that don't include me. All his last firsts were not with me. I never know when he is thinking of her. He is very proud that he ever said I love you. She woudl ask and say it to him and he alway said he couldn't say that. I don't know if I believe that or not. But what he doesn't get is that actions speak so much louder than words. He was spending time with her and loving her without saying it. he was at home saying it to me but not showing me any love by his actions.

I told him th eother day I didn't knwo if I could do it. It is just soooo much to deal with.

Add to the mix that he is a brittle type 1 diabetic. So every day for the past 5 or 6 years I wake up to see if he is alive. I have called 911 about 30 times. He had a stroke last yera adn melanoma this summer. But she got all teh good stuff. I got to sit at home at night and worry where he was.

When doe sit get the least bit better? He is trying and will do whatever I ask. He is not so good at coming up with what he shoudl do (and that maes me crazy) but if I say it he will do it. And it still stinks and hurts and seems like living in hell.

I also think I was pregnant las month (even though I had a tubal. That was stressful. I am worried it could happen again adn that is the LAST thing we need.

So, anyway, there's my deal. I hope I can join. I think I meet the criteria.lol.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
runoverbytruck
♀ Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, December 21st (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((((((((((((So Lost))))))))))))))))

Just wanted to welcome you. As you can see, we're all gearing up for the holidays and for absences from the site, but I wanted you to know that someone "saw" you. Warm welcomes to our our little "tribe"--the club nobody wants to belong to. But rest assured--you are in the best company here. Nobody else can understand the depth of the LTA pain. You'll find that you are understood here.

If I don't "see" you again until after Christmas, I will be holding you in my thoughts as well.

Happy Holidays.

(((((((((((25))))))))))))

I'm sorry, I must have missed the big anniversary. Happy Anniversary.


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, December 21st (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((So Lost)))))Welcome to the club. We're all tight here because we all get each other's world and the pain that's there from the LTA. Like Run said, you'll be understood here. I just read your bio and from the sound of things your H wants to make a sincere reconcilliation. I can tell you 2 years out (Jan. 26 08) that my H went NC immediately too after and almost 6 yr. LTA and also said he never loved her and that she would say it and he would only respond by saying, "You can't love me because you don't know me. You only know what we have here." I didn't believe this at first either, but 2 years later and countless hours of MC and IC and from his actions and words since Dday, I now believe him. He never really missed her that much and was more than happy to have me/us back. The SOW went right under the wheels of the bus and he's never looked back. I'm telling you this because he may well be telling you the truth. They all withhold in the beginning and dole out the information over time. There are several reasons for this that my H has shared with me over time. They don't feel like we can handle it all, they are freaking out because these two worlds that they had so well compartmentalized have now crashed together, they are ashamed, etc. Keep going to MC and IC. Get to know the parts you both played in the deterioration of your M. So much of it I was unaware of until it was examined with the high power magnification of the LTA. It does get better. In my case, MUCH better. The pain does subside and trust does return for some of us. For others it can take more time and for some it never returns. I think you have the right things going for you though in that he sounds very willing to work on it and make it work. The HB does subside and then you move into a comfortable and rewarding sex life if you focus on the intimacy of your R and restoring trust. It does get better though, no matter what the outcome if you focus on you So Lost and work on being OK with or without him. A lot of self care!!! And ask him to commit to YOUR healing and doing whatever it takes for that. OK, probably more info than you wanted, but just want you to really feel welcome here. You're in good company and once the holidays are over the wisdom of this group will astound you! Welcome!


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, December 21st (Friday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((25))))) Happy anniversary. Good Lord - 31 years! I hope he's treating you like a queen!! He's a lucky man to have you still. Have fun hon!


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
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